Stop calling yourself blessed when what you are is privileged

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you in some cases, but often, they aren't showing off. They are being grateful for what they have.

Exactly!

[Anonymous]

Amen!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:As a religious person, I’m confident that I am correct to call myself “blessed” in the biblical sense because I have 3 healthy children, a stable and secure place to raise them, my own health, my husband’s health (both of which is required to travel), food on the table, wine to drink, etc. My husband works to provide and does not have a substance abuse problem, which is also a biblical blessing. I also work and use my income to invest, which is also a biblical blessing to him.

Do you know what “because” means?

I am saying that these are explicitly described as blessings in the Bible so that’s my basis for using the word. The biblical sense.

Here is what the bible says about blessings:

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the Earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be satisfied.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.
Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.

+1

I had this read at my wedding and many people had never heard it.

[Anonymous]

OP, quit using social media. It's clearly bothering you. That's fine, it is annoying! Come join us on the other side. Life is much nicer without that noise. And that is exactly what it is. Noise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think blessed means “I don’t deserve this” I don’t deserve any of the good things in my life. But I’m thankful for them and try to share (in many ways). But I try to be thankful in all circumstances. Even when I haven’t been able to pay my bills, didn’t own a house, or go on vacation.

this. end thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me posit this: for those of you who preach “personal responsibility” and believe it’s so feasible to pull oneself up by the bootstraps, why are you saving for your kids’ college? Why are you creating a trust fund for them? Why do you live in McLean? If it’s so simple to just work hard and make it no matter where you’re from, why bother with all of that? Can’t your kid just save up money themselves like you tell poor kids to?

Because poor kids who study and get good grades get their tuition paid for through a combination of taxpayer dollars and subsidies from college endowments. If there is a shortfall, they take out loans, just like most of us who are saving did. And then Elizabeth Warren will probably try to pay off those loans for them. UMC kids don't receive these freebies, so their parents have to save as well as pay the taxes.

And the ones who don’t study and get good grades remain poor and are supported by taxpayers for the rest of their lives

[Anonymous]

nevertheless, it's obnoxious

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:nevertheless, it's obnoxious

But one has to grin and bear it. I work with a company and the woman who answers the phone always ends with “have a blessed day.” It grates but she is nice and effective

I liken it to people who say “no problem” in response to “thank you.”

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Ok. Let’s cancel overuse of “privileged” next.

This.

If you work for it, you aren’t privileged.

And, privilege shouldn’t become a scarlet letter.

It’s not a scarlet letter. So why not admit you have it?

It is in today's world. Calling someone privileged is a slam against them. It's saying they have something they don't deserve to have. It couldn't have been earned, it had to have been because of their "privilege".

It is the favorite “insult” of the perpetual victim crowd (who universally never recognize or acknowledge their OWN privileges and blessings in life).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Ok. Let’s cancel overuse of “privileged” next.

This.

If you work for it, you aren’t privileged.

And, privilege shouldn’t become a scarlet letter.

It’s not a scarlet letter. So why not admit you have it?

It is in today's world. Calling someone privileged is a slam against them. It's saying they have something they don't deserve to have. It couldn't have been earned, it had to have been because of their "privilege".

You can earn things and still be cognizant that there are fewer barriers to clear. Privilege is a clearer, or at least less obstacle laden path. For example, we grew up poor but we could still afford the sugar for brand name Kool-Aid. We shopped at bulk food stores because my parents could afford the membership, and had a car to bring everything across the highway safely. We are also white so my parents had fewer obstacles to obtain a loan towards their townhome. We bought second hand everything and wore hand me downs, but the clerk didn’t keep an eye out for me stealing in the thrift store just because.

Your explanation doesn't change that it is a negative to be viewed as "priviliged".

It’s not viewed negatively. Unless, you can’t acknowledge that you had some breaks. A lot of people have a leg up and don’t realize it or think that they earned everything. They started out with fewer barriers. That’s the negativity piece. When you dig in and shout that you earned everything it negates the privilege you oriented from. And most of us with peach color skin have it.

Well, first you need to identify the person on the planet who is starting out with the MOST barriers. If you are not that person, you are also (by virtue of having started out with fewer barriers), privileged. I agree that it’s not a bad thing, but why must one always be calling on others to acknowledge their privilege rather than acknowledging their own?

[Anonymous]

Like OP, I role my eyes when rich people call themselves "blessed". Note: I am rich.

It's just silly because while I get what people are saying about being grateful, it implies that you have been singled out for this blessing above others, which is obviously silly. Maybe it's luck, maybe it's privilege, maybe it's actually hard work and dedication. But #blessed implies some kind of divine intervention, which is annoying because even if you are religious, I sincerely hope your g-d is not intervening on your behalf to get you a vacation to Mallorca. Please.

I think if someone I knew tagged some vacation/new house/new car/new clothes/etc. post on Instagram with #privileged, I would laugh really hard and like them a little more, because at least it's honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guys, the word has multiple definitions...and definitions change with usage. More often than not, what these people are saying is that they are fortunate and grateful. Is that somehow wrong?

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/blessed

They’re not acknowledging their privilege *correctly*

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Redlining. Food deserts. Segregation.

Educate yourself.

Haven’t existed in most of our life times; WIC, SNAP, school lunches, food pantries; people choosing to live in affordable housing in an expensive area or as part of an immigrant community with shared language or with long-standing community (see gentrification arguments).

None of these things are determinative of your life. Ask the millions of people now living who have moved up the SES ladder. If you want to improve social mobility, vote for and insist on functional government that provides law and order and schools with real expectations and discipline. Include vocational education. Eliminating objective measures of educational achievement and lowering overall behavioral expectations for kids, while also eliminating the negatives of poverty will leave the people you say you care about in a terrible way that has nothing to do with racism.

Even the poorest US citizens are “blessed.”

Can you explain why? I'm not necessarily disagreeing, but the nationalism in your response is intriguing. You seem to identify a number of things people should be advocating for HERE, so they don't exist uniformly? And what does this country have that is unique to us?

Yes, I can explain why. Even the poorest here are wealthy in comparison to many places around the world. They enjoy larger homes, appliances, cell phones, more than adequate calories, free public education, world class medical care paid for by the government. Now, are there a few individuals who do NOT receive these things? Yes, there are poor people who do not seek out the free prenatal care, or who use the ER for sporadic and uncoordinated care. There are mentally ill people who live on the streets despite the existence of shelters, SSI checks and mental health programs created for vets and the homeless. There are illegal immigrants who do not qualify for some of the programs (but whose children still receive three free meals a day from the schools). And there are kids for whom the schools fail to provide them with an excellent education (which is why I made that a major discussion point above.). There are people who live in violence plagued cities and impoverished coal country. These are dysfunctional places, but even those people have the freedom to move somewhere else. And yes, it takes some money to move, but not much.

U.S. citizens mostly still have free speech, freedom to assemble, freedom to seek redress against the government, property rights, a right to due process and a mostly fair legal system. These things are extremely valuable and not available to billions of people in the world.


I did not mention anything about other countries. Are some people blessed to be born in Sweden or Germany? Yes. There was nothing "nationalistic" about my response. It is factual.

Fascinating. I think it is your framing that I find odd. It is true that people that have access to the things you describe are better off than those that do not. But access to those things is so wide and varied even on a localized level. The social welfare programs you identify are not equally accessible even within this country. And many of the things you describe are more accessible in many many other countries. So I find it odd to frame it as being blessed to be in the U.S., as opposed to having access to those things you describe.

I would also quibble with a lot of what you said regarding a "mostly fair legal system" and free "world class healthcare", but that might take us too far off topic...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get people’s objective in pointing out privilege nonstop. Why? So you can prove that your misfortune is out of your hands and certain races were destined to not be blessed??

As another PP pointed out, they need to create the narrative for themselves that those who have more don’t “deserve it” in order to justify taking it away someday. It’s basically gaslighting on a societal level.

(Alternatively, it is a sign of extreme immaturity. Think of a couple of kids playing basketball - “not fair! You’re taller!” Or running a race - “not fair! Your legs are longer!” And so on.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Posting about your beautiful home, healthy kids, gorgeous vacations, and the like doesn’t make you blessed. God didn’t bless you with these things because you’re such a wonderful person. You’re privileged. Period.

How about you scale back the time you spend on social media looking at the curated version of people’s lives and stop being such a killjoy.