I want to be Mormon

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Beneath the cheery surface, there is a tremendous amount of fighting over/stressing over money in Mormon families, even *seemingly* affluent ones. You have a culture where women are encouraged not to work and stay home and couples are encouraged to have a lot of kids at an early age. That means that a Mormon man is often supporting a family of 5+ in his 20s and many struggle to do so. But even if they're struggling and fight a lot about money, they'll pretend to have it together.

That's also why so many women are so susceptible to the lure of MLMs which promise them that they don't have to work outside the home but they can make money to help out.

Maybe because I live in Boston but literally every Mormon I know makes 150k a year

You have a very biased sample. Most Mormons can’t make anywhere near that much. Many don’t have college degrees.

Like I said, I live in Boston near Watertown which is the Mormon area. Every single one I have met is a high achieving professional. Of course, that's biased to whom I know, and the Mormons who move to Boston are usually here for degrees or good jobs.

But I suspect the same thing is going on on this thread. I suspect very few people here are actually familiar with Utah Mormons. We are familiar with the very UC Mormons we meet. I know many people who know Mitt Romney for example and I'm sure he can afford his wife and kids.

Only 20 percent of Mormons in America even have a Household Income over over 100 k, about the same as the US population as a whole.

Half have a HHI under 50k and 27 percent have a HHI under 30k.

https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2016/10/11/how-income-varies-among-u-s-religious-groups/

And that’s before tithing and accounting for bigger households. Mormon poverty is very real.

[Anonymous]

So. What I'm hearing is that you people want to be East Coast Mormon not Midwest or West Mormons. You want the community and the degree.

[Anonymous]

Seems like all the Mormons I know are happy, big family, and gorgeous. I don't think the mission is remotely close to the creepiest part of the religion though, it's the heavenly planet you get when you die and inhabit with your kids. Which, imo, is an excellent concept and although it seems ludicrous I would totally get behind it, if I were the type of person who could suspend disbelief. Unfortunately though I'm not much of a god type.

To whomever mentioned the 180 IQ children. An IQ that high is so rare I think it would be almost impossible to have a decent sample size for study.

But yeah, I totally understand why the OP is fascinated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Me too! My peer group is typical coastal "elite" liberals, very career focused, and I feel so out-of-place because I love being a SAHM, doing stuff around the house, have 2 kids and want more. I just think if I were Mormon I would feel normal instead of like some weird throwback freak.

OP here. Yeah, this is kind of what I’m getting at. Of course, I know that you don’t have to be Mormon to be a good person and have a simple life focused on family. I would describe myself in that way. What’s hard is finding a tight knit community of people who also have similar life visions and values.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So. What I'm hearing is that you people want to be East Coast Mormon not Midwest or West Mormons. You want the community and the degree.

But many East Coast mormons are fairly recent transplants from Utah and still have deep ties to Utah, many of their friends and community are also from there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So. What I'm hearing is that you people want to be East Coast Mormon not Midwest or West Mormons. You want the community and the degree.

But many East Coast mormons are fairly recent transplants from Utah and still have deep ties to Utah, many of their friends and community are also from there.

Uh, find me a Mormon in the United States that *doesn’t* have ties to Utah. I don’t think you can!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know you can be a nice person, eat healthy, be family oriented, and even be a prude without having religious beliefs, right? Just be a better person.

I mean, I'm already pretty much that way. It would just be nice to have a large community around me with similar beliefs and a close sense of connection.

Do you like being constantly pregnant? Do you want your daughters to be brood mares?

I do, actually. I'd have a duggar size family if I could. Yes, I have a degree and my husband has an ivy league graduate degree. Yay us but sometimes I wish I could throw away the BC and see what would happen if I had a lot of kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know you can be a nice person, eat healthy, be family oriented, and even be a prude without having religious beliefs, right? Just be a better person.

I mean, I'm already pretty much that way. It would just be nice to have a large community around me with similar beliefs and a close sense of connection.

Do you like being constantly pregnant? Do you want your daughters to be brood mares?

I do, actually. I'd have a duggar size family if I could. Yes, I have a degree and my husband has an ivy league graduate degree. Yay us but sometimes I wish I could throw away the BC and see what would happen if I had a lot of kids

How many kids do you have?

[Anonymous]

Pp. 3.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a cult. I mean that literally. They’re nice, but it’s a cult.

Only to the extent that any organized religion is a cult.

I'm ex-LDS and this is not correct. The LDS church will not allow you to enter the temple, including for the wedding of your own child, unless you have a temple recommend. How do you get the recommend? Amongst other things, you have to tithe 10% of your income (pre-tax) to the Church. If you don't pay, you don't play. If your friend or child marries someone who is Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, whatever, you can go to their wedding. Not so with the LDS Church. Some couples have a "ring ceremony" outside the temple for this reason, but their non-LDS friends and families don't get to see anything inside the temple--which incidentally is hyped up and not worth 10% of your annual income. You also have to answer a lot of invasive questions about your sex life, in a one-on-one interview with a male bishop (women are not ordained). The bishop has no actual training, by the way. They're usually attorneys or accountants by day. That's another thing: You will never, ever see a lower-SES guy in a position of authority in the LDS Church. Every single man who makes it into the Big 12 has a serious track record in business. Usually real estate, because the church has a huge amount of private real estate holdings. There are tons of lower-income LDS people in developing countries, and that's where the church focuses its recruiting efforts nowadays, because anyone with a 7th grade science education and access to the Internet in the United States can look up Joseph Smith and see what a conman he was.

Also, OP, if you go this route, you better be prepared to stand in front of your church and tell everyone that you believe that the aforementioned Joseph Smith was a prophet and seer, as well as the current dude in power in Salt Lake City, and that the LDS Church is the one true church. You'll be expected to "bear your testimony" ASAP, especially as a new member. Hopefully the idea of that gives you some pause.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL is Mormon and FIL is not. Never understood how that works. She goes to temple or whatever every Sunday (pre-pandemic, now it's virtual). He does not. He also loves to drink beer and obvioulsy she does not. She doesn't seem *too* hardcore, as she will buy alcohol for others and allows it in her home.

I have met some mighty fine Mormon men from Utah through them.

This is my marriage. I’m active LDS and my husband is not a member. It works because we genuinely love and respect each other. Our values, lifestyle and goals match up well. We did do counseling before we got married to help with areas that were not so well lined up. We’ve been together 20+ years and are still in love.

OP, lots of Mormons are great. Part of our belief system is to be hopeful, grateful, honest, cheerful, endure well through hardships, to care about others and perform acts of service. All that plus the focus on family leads to the image and impressions you have and it’s not wrong. But I also know lots of Mormons who are selfish, cruel, and hypocritical. We are definitely not perfect and I have seen many many Mormon friends and family have serious problems.

Anyway, we are happy to be friends!

ps - I have deep family roots in the church by neither me nor my parents were raised in Utah. I left Utah the day after I graduated from BYU. Not my happy place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a cult. I mean that literally. They’re nice, but it’s a cult.

Only to the extent that any organized religion is a cult.

I'm ex-LDS and this is not correct. The LDS church will not allow you to enter the temple, including for the wedding of your own child, unless you have a temple recommend. How do you get the recommend? Amongst other things, you have to tithe 10% of your income (pre-tax) to the Church. If you don't pay, you don't play. If your friend or child marries someone who is Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, whatever, you can go to their wedding. Not so with the LDS Church. Some couples have a "ring ceremony" outside the temple for this reason, but their non-LDS friends and families don't get to see anything inside the temple--which incidentally is hyped up and not worth 10% of your annual income. You also have to answer a lot of invasive questions about your sex life, in a one-on-one interview with a male bishop (women are not ordained). The bishop has no actual training, by the way. They're usually attorneys or accountants by day. That's another thing: You will never, ever see a lower-SES guy in a position of authority in the LDS Church. Every single man who makes it into the Big 12 has a serious track record in business. Usually real estate, because the church has a huge amount of private real estate holdings. There are tons of lower-income LDS people in developing countries, and that's where the church focuses its recruiting efforts nowadays, because anyone with a 7th grade science education and access to the Internet in the United States can look up Joseph Smith and see what a conman he was.

Also, OP, if you go this route, you better be prepared to stand in front of your church and tell everyone that you believe that the aforementioned Joseph Smith was a prophet and seer, as well as the current dude in power in Salt Lake City, and that the LDS Church is the one true church. You'll be expected to "bear your testimony" ASAP, especially as a new member. Hopefully the idea of that gives you some pause.

Yeah, and forget trying to have pictures of a Mormon wedding/sealing for your non-Mormon family and friends because you aren't allowed to take pictures or even discuss it with non-Mormons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a cult. I mean that literally. They’re nice, but it’s a cult.

Only to the extent that any organized religion is a cult.

I'm ex-LDS and this is not correct. The LDS church will not allow you to enter the temple, including for the wedding of your own child, unless you have a temple recommend. How do you get the recommend? Amongst other things, you have to tithe 10% of your income (pre-tax) to the Church. If you don't pay, you don't play. If your friend or child marries someone who is Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, whatever, you can go to their wedding. Not so with the LDS Church. Some couples have a "ring ceremony" outside the temple for this reason, but their non-LDS friends and families don't get to see anything inside the temple--which incidentally is hyped up and not worth 10% of your annual income. You also have to answer a lot of invasive questions about your sex life, in a one-on-one interview with a male bishop (women are not ordained). The bishop has no actual training, by the way. They're usually attorneys or accountants by day. That's another thing: You will never, ever see a lower-SES guy in a position of authority in the LDS Church. Every single man who makes it into the Big 12 has a serious track record in business. Usually real estate, because the church has a huge amount of private real estate holdings. There are tons of lower-income LDS people in developing countries, and that's where the church focuses its recruiting efforts nowadays, because anyone with a 7th grade science education and access to the Internet in the United States can look up Joseph Smith and see what a conman he was.

Also, OP, if you go this route, you better be prepared to stand in front of your church and tell everyone that you believe that the aforementioned Joseph Smith was a prophet and seer, as well as the current dude in power in Salt Lake City, and that the LDS Church is the one true church. You'll be expected to "bear your testimony" ASAP, especially as a new member. Hopefully the idea of that gives you some pause.

Yeah, and forget trying to have pictures of a Mormon wedding/sealing for your non-Mormon family and friends because you aren't allowed to take pictures or even discuss it with non-Mormons.

PP here. Yep. By the way, the “sacred” temple rituals are brought up over and over to make members and prospective members feel like they’re missing something, and to remind them that they aren’t fully in the club just yet. By the time you get to that point, you’ve invested so much time and money that you don’t want to admit you’ve been had. It’s a brilliant psychological mind**** and it worked pretty well up until the last 10-20 years or so. Now, anyone can go online and see footage of what goes on in there, and it’s enough to make most people cut and run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else follow the Skalla sisters? They're Utah Mormon influencers. Rachel and Emily are the big bloggers then they have younger sisters who are getting into influencing too.

Anyway, they seem so happy and like they have perfect lives!

These brainless twits. They all seem like terrible people. Worshipping at the alter of consumerism, uneducated, zero intellectual curiosity, barely literate, obsessed with plastic surgery and their looks. Only goal in life is to get a husband after Daddy Skalla gets you the full pakage- Big fake boobs, nose job, veneers and filler/Botox when you're practically a teenager. Doesn't really matter if you marry someone after like, a month, it's about checking that box. Emily seems like a horrible mother who runs away from her kids at every opportunity and appears barely bonded to them. They do like to sexualize the girls early though, dressing them up little little Jon Benet Ramseys and having them do sexy dances to sometimes inappropriate songs. None of them appear to have any friends, they only really hang out with each other, which is odd. I don't think they're religious or spiritual, I think church is just an opportunity to dress up for the 'gram. Maybe they're happy and good for them I guess, but I think they're pretty awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else follow the Skalla sisters? They're Utah Mormon influencers. Rachel and Emily are the big bloggers then they have younger sisters who are getting into influencing too.

Anyway, they seem so happy and like they have perfect lives!

These brainless twits. They all seem like terrible people. Worshipping at the alter of consumerism, uneducated, zero intellectual curiosity, barely literate, obsessed with plastic surgery and their looks. Only goal in life is to get a husband after Daddy Skalla gets you the full pakage- Big fake boobs, nose job, veneers and filler/Botox when you're practically a teenager. Doesn't really matter if you marry someone after like, a month, it's about checking that box. Emily seems like a horrible mother who runs away from her kids at every opportunity and appears barely bonded to them. They do like to sexualize the girls early though, dressing them up little little Jon Benet Ramseys and having them do sexy dances to sometimes inappropriate songs. None of them appear to have any friends, they only really hang out with each other, which is odd. I don't think they're religious or spiritual, I think church is just an opportunity to dress up for the 'gram. Maybe they're happy and good for them I guess, but I think they're pretty awful.

Just saying, I'm sure there are many Mormon women NOT on Instagram. My friends who do Instagram and FB are way more narcissistic than average