If you don’t need the childcare, is the responsible thing to keep your young children out of school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's the responsible thing to do. The people complaining most on Facebook about remote/distance learning are SAHMs. I do not understand...you have the privilege of not working outside of the home, so you actually have the time to devote to helping children learn. Working parents don't really have that flexibility. It is so tone deaf.

I'm not a SAHM, I work full-time, as does my husband, but you really don't understand why a SAHM wouldn't want to be responsible for her childrens' schooling? I agree that if you are an essential worker, you should get top priority in daycare and for other childcare spots. Beyond that, I just can't get behind saying that working parents who could possibly afford or manage some other type of childcare are allowed to send their kids but stay at home parents aren't. Even though my husband and I both work full-time, we are probably better equipped to help our children learn given the flexibility of our jobs and our kids' personalities than some stay at home parents would be, especially those with really young children at home in addition to their school-aged kids. I just wish people would stop judging others for making the choice that was best for their family, and yes, I do think some selfishness is warranted because this is hard and not everyone is in the right space to be able to handle at home schooling and it is not up to YOU to decide that.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Yes, it is the civically responsible thing to do. Screw “socialization”. Leave the daycare and school spots for the families who truly need them and give those children a better shot at staying safe as well as their teachers.

+1. I do agree with this now after seeing the crowded hallways of schools back in session. My kids are able to learn at home with new computers and great WiFi. Not all families are so lucky. And I don’t need to work out of the house.

Totally agree!

+3.

+4. That’s what my friends and I are doing, for the most part. We all either have a WFH parent or nanny/grandparent to help at home, so we are freeing up the spots for children who need it, eg those with essential WOH parents. Of course, there are a few families who continue to send for “socialization” even though they don’t really need to (but they’re too lazy to take care of their kids at home). They do get some side eye, but for the most part, people are being responsible and looking out for their children’s health.

+5. Yeah, this time around I agree. If you can work from home, you should keep your kids home too. It sucks but we have to think collectively now and do what’s best for everyone.

I don't know what kind of job you have, but mine frowns on me for getting 0 work done at home because of my kids. For some of us, telework and having young kids around is NOT possible. It's more than just "sucks." Maybe you shouldn't be judging "what's best for everyone" based on your sole experience.

No, I am judging. Not just you and your partner but also your boss and company. Your child should be home and you and your company, as well as your spouse’s company, need to have a conversation.

I did with my company. I have a first grader and two year old and DH is out of the house. We can up with a schedule for meetings/calls. Not great but definitely doable.

NP. My husband and I are incredibly privileged in our personal situation, which affords us not only the ability to from home with a lot of flexibility but to also pay for a nanny for our children, but at least I recognize how privileged we are and I don't tell other people that they should just do what's collectively best for everyone. My previous employer would not have allowed me to work from home and care for my children - I would have been expected to be online from at least 8-5 every day without exception. I could have had as many conversations as I wanted to with him as well as with the management of the firm, but it wouldn't have made a difference. I know this because I had those conversations three years ago when I quit due to the lack of flexibility. At that time I had the luxury of finding another job that gave me more of what I wanted, but do you really think everyone has the ability to do that right now? I have friends who are out of work and having a hard time getting another job. I have others who are living in daily fear of losing the jobs they have. Your insensitive statement from your place of privilege is truly disgusting, and I hope you can see that.

NP here and I don’t see that anymore. This is a collective issue that can’t be solved by everyone deciding what’s best for their own family. We must take this collectively and seriously.

If you can keep your child home, make the sacrifice and do it. If you can’t, those spots is school are for your child.

This exactly. If you can’t make it work then you’re the one who needs the spot. Plus, even inflexible employers are becoming flexible during the pandemic. A friend of mine works for a *very* inflexible company - she WFH maybe twice a year. But now her employer has agreed to her taking mornings off to take care of her 2yo (her DH takes the afternoon shift). They have plenty of daycare spots open nearby but choose not to send because it seems backwards for the parents to stay safely at home while sending their kids out to get exposed!

NP, except that that existing data actually shows us that it's not kids who are transmitting this thing--especially not the elementary and younger kids--it's older kids and adults. So, sending kids in can be done safely, which can allow parents to stay home, too, which is safer for them to do, if they can.

It's fantastic if some people have flexible employers who let them adjust their schedules completely to support full-time DL. Great! Not. Every. Employer. Does. That. And it's not on parents to force them to.

I really, really wish that the parents on here insisting that parents who can WAH should refrain from sending kids to daycare/school would understand that all WAH scenarios are not identical AND take the time to understand the existing science around kids and COVID, locality depending, of course.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Yes, it is the civically responsible thing to do. Screw “socialization”. Leave the daycare and school spots for the families who truly need them and give those children a better shot at staying safe as well as their teachers.

+1. I do agree with this now after seeing the crowded hallways of schools back in session. My kids are able to learn at home with new computers and great WiFi. Not all families are so lucky. And I don’t need to work out of the house.

Totally agree!

+3.

+4. That’s what my friends and I are doing, for the most part. We all either have a WFH parent or nanny/grandparent to help at home, so we are freeing up the spots for children who need it, eg those with essential WOH parents. Of course, there are a few families who continue to send for “socialization” even though they don’t really need to (but they’re too lazy to take care of their kids at home). They do get some side eye, but for the most part, people are being responsible and looking out for their children’s health.

+5. Yeah, this time around I agree. If you can work from home, you should keep your kids home too. It sucks but we have to think collectively now and do what’s best for everyone.

How old are your kids? Because talking about three-year olds versus 13-year olds is a very different thing.

I’m the “+5”. My kids are 2.5 and first grade. We managed in the spring and we’ll do it again.

So, your kids are basically too young to have a life and know the difference and as long as you teach your six year old to read, they aren’t missing academics. Check back when they are teens and tell me if they want to be isolated in their house all day everyday while under the pressure of trying to take multiple AP classes via zoom.

[Anonymous]

Yes, in light of all the recent developments and spikes in cases, it is the responsible thing to do.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Yes, it is the civically responsible thing to do. Screw “socialization”. Leave the daycare and school spots for the families who truly need them and give those children a better shot at staying safe as well as their teachers.

+1. I do agree with this now after seeing the crowded hallways of schools back in session. My kids are able to learn at home with new computers and great WiFi. Not all families are so lucky. And I don’t need to work out of the house.

Totally agree!

+3.

+4. That’s what my friends and I are doing, for the most part. We all either have a WFH parent or nanny/grandparent to help at home, so we are freeing up the spots for children who need it, eg those with essential WOH parents. Of course, there are a few families who continue to send for “socialization” even though they don’t really need to (but they’re too lazy to take care of their kids at home). They do get some side eye, but for the most part, people are being responsible and looking out for their children’s health.

+5. Yeah, this time around I agree. If you can work from home, you should keep your kids home too. It sucks but we have to think collectively now and do what’s best for everyone.

How old are your kids? Because talking about three-year olds versus 13-year olds is a very different thing.

I’m the “+5”. My kids are 2.5 and first grade. We managed in the spring and we’ll do it again.

So, your kids are basically too young to have a life and know the difference and as long as you teach your six year old to read, they aren’t missing academics. Check back when they are teens and tell me if they want to be isolated in their house all day everyday while under the pressure of trying to take multiple AP classes via zoom.

NP here. You don’t need childcare for your high schooler. I don’t think this thread is addressing your issues.