Sidwell college advisor leaves

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was covered already and you keep asking. They 'reported' a classmate of their child to a common school of interest. I don't know the infraction and don't care, but no parent should be communicating with any admissions office and especially about another kid.

That’s it? I understood it was parents plural. Are you saying one child’s parents acted so egregiously and in a manner condemned by all that someone would change jobs because of it?

That sounds big time crazy to me, PP. What aren’t you understanding?
A parent or parents ‘reporting’ something about a student from the school that conflicts with what the school counselor already communicated is very damaging to the school and the counselor. I’d want out of crazy town if I could get out.

Yes, crazy. And - seemingly - condemned by all. (Why everyone knows this when there are privacy rules in place is obviously not a concern to the gossipy parent cheering section.) But for someone to leave their job over it is not believeable. There was more to it.

And the idea that admissions to Top WhateverU is a meritocracy is as ridiculous as thinking the same of admissions to the DC BigXs.

The timing of this cheating/fraud story could not be better. It throws the entire admissions process for all these schools into such sharp relief though I doubt any sunshine will be allowed in to sterilize the process.

[Anonymous]

It's somewhat difficult to judge this whole situation without knowing the specific nature of what the parent communicated to the college, whether the information was true/relevant, and whether the school had suppressed the information in the interest of protecting its own reputation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It was covered already and you keep asking. They 'reported' a classmate of their child to a common school of interest. I don't know the infraction and don't care, but no parent should be communicating with any admissions office and especially about another kid.

We know a kid who committed some serious infractions and was admitted to schools without anyone revealing the infractions. It never occurred to us or any of the parents I know to call the schools the kid was admitted to and let them know. That’s crazy town. With the case I know of the kid will either learn from their past mistakes or not. If they keep repeating these particular transgressions, it will eventually catch up to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The early decision cycle was not great for Sidwell and several parents were aggressively rude to the college placement office. And then one parent made an anonymous phone call to a college dean of admissions to undermine a classmate competing against his DC.

No way Sidwell pays college counselors enough to deal with the crazy parents

Early decision was not good for Holton either.

These private schools grade so hard, don’t offer AP’s, and just hope their name is enough to get kids in. But publics are offering dual enrollments, magnets, IB diplomas and tons of AP’s. Plus they inflate grades. It is really hard for private schools to keep up, especially now that many kids want big schools like Mich, Wisconsin, USC, UCLA, etc... over Williams and Amherst. I think social media has had a big influence on kids deciding SLAC’s are pretty boring.

Yes, we’re not at Sidwell, but are seeing the same thing at our school. I have no doubt my son is at the right school, but college admissions will be a disappointment.

Kid is at a 2nd tier school and college admissions is amazing. Despite the fewer AP’s and all harsher grades and that other rubbish you fear.
Amazing college admits.

What school if you don’t mind my asking.

[Anonymous]

99.9% of the SFS parents are fantastic —- having had kids at SFS over the past 6 years, I can attest that every class has one loon who thinks their child is candycorn and rainbows. This kind of parental delusion is not unique to Sidwell, it’s everywhere, public and private. And not just related to academics. Think about all the crazy sports Dads you’ve known over the years. Unfortunately, college admissions is a stressful scene and the 1-2 loony voices can drown out the majority of the sane parents and families and can wear down the people who are trying to support their kids. Having had kids in multiple privates, trust me, there are those types everywhere. It’s truly sad to see Patrick leave, no doubt as he is a great guy that the kids really loved, but I don’t think you’ll find one DMV private that doesn’t have a taste of the crazy. I wish Patrick all the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:99.9% of the SFS parents are fantastic —- having had kids at SFS over the past 6 years, I can attest that every class has one loon who thinks their child is candycorn and rainbows. This kind of parental delusion is not unique to Sidwell, it’s everywhere, public and private. And not just related to academics. Think about all the crazy sports Dads you’ve known over the years. Unfortunately, college admissions is a stressful scene and the 1-2 loony voices can drown out the majority of the sane parents and families and can wear down the people who are trying to support their kids. Having had kids in multiple privates, trust me, there are those types everywhere. It’s truly sad to see Patrick leave, no doubt as he is a great guy that the kids really loved, but I don’t think you’ll find one DMV private that doesn’t have a taste of the crazy. I wish Patrick all the best.

99.9% is an exaggeration.

70% perhaps, and being generous.

[Anonymous]

I'm a private college consultant and I have worked with plenty of Sidwell families. I can't speak for the junior counselor (won't name him since I don't think anyone else has) but Patrick is a good counselor who probably got fed up with the crazy parents. I think it's appalling that anyone would suggest that he was connected to the scandal.

Here's the reality of independent school college counseling:

The admissions offices promise parents the world, setting up expectations that can't be fulfilled. They lie, really. As an independent consultant, I have a whole staff of people and we are working with a much smaller group of seniors than the class at Sidwell. We are able to give them an incredible amount of one-on-one attention for this reason. Independent school counselors CANNOT DO THIS. It doesn't matter how amazing they are, it's a matter of math. They have X amount of hours to be spread amongst Y amount of kids, and they also have a lot of extra duties that come with working at an independent school. I can take the time to go over each student's supplemental essay 10 times until it's the most perfect reflection of that student, and those people cannot.

Also, since we are on the subject, I should mention that it's much quicker to rewrite a student's essay than to "coach" the student to rewrite his own essay. It ends up being much more authentic that way but takes forever. That's why I have a job. But when parents expect this of the college counselors, of course they are disappointed. It's about expectations.

Lastly, speaking of expectations, a lot of these parents simply do not understand what college admissions is like today. It's brutal. That's why the crazies in LA decided to commit fraud - because there was no other way to guarantee that their kids would get into these schools. There are simply no guarantees anymore. Incredibly qualified, wonderful kids are denied left right and center. And a lot of independent school parents blame this on their school college counselors, for some reason. As if the college counselor could have done something to change the outcome.

Trust me, those people are fighting tooth and nail for your kids behind the scenes. The absolute DUMBEST thing you could possibly do is to piss them off. Even Rick Singer, according to the wiretap transcript, yelled at parents for this. It's a fast track way to making sure your kid gets in nowhere. Why on earth would you demean, insult, and badmouth the person who is trying to HELP your CHILD?

[Anonymous]

It is suspicious that college counselors leave just now when the scandal has become public

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a private college consultant and I have worked with plenty of Sidwell families. I can't speak for the junior counselor (won't name him since I don't think anyone else has) but Patrick is a good counselor who probably got fed up with the crazy parents. I think it's appalling that anyone would suggest that he was connected to the scandal.

Here's the reality of independent school college counseling:

The admissions offices promise parents the world, setting up expectations that can't be fulfilled. They lie, really. As an independent consultant, I have a whole staff of people and we are working with a much smaller group of seniors than the class at Sidwell. We are able to give them an incredible amount of one-on-one attention for this reason. Independent school counselors CANNOT DO THIS. It doesn't matter how amazing they are, it's a matter of math. They have X amount of hours to be spread amongst Y amount of kids, and they also have a lot of extra duties that come with working at an independent school. I can take the time to go over each student's supplemental essay 10 times until it's the most perfect reflection of that student, and those people cannot.

Also, since we are on the subject, I should mention that it's much quicker to rewrite a student's essay than to "coach" the student to rewrite his own essay. It ends up being much more authentic that way but takes forever. That's why I have a job. But when parents expect this of the college counselors, of course they are disappointed. It's about expectations.

Lastly, speaking of expectations, a lot of these parents simply do not understand what college admissions is like today. It's brutal. That's why the crazies in LA decided to commit fraud - because there was no other way to guarantee that their kids would get into these schools. There are simply no guarantees anymore. Incredibly qualified, wonderful kids are denied left right and center. And a lot of independent school parents blame this on their school college counselors, for some reason. As if the college counselor could have done something to change the outcome.

Trust me, those people are fighting tooth and nail for your kids behind the scenes. The absolute DUMBEST thing you could possibly do is to piss them off. Even Rick Singer, according to the wiretap transcript, yelled at parents for this. It's a fast track way to making sure your kid gets in nowhere. Why on earth would you demean, insult, and badmouth the person who is trying to HELP your CHILD?

So you admit you’re rewriting essays? Isnt it possible you’re hurting kids more than helping?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a private college consultant and I have worked with plenty of Sidwell families. I can't speak for the junior counselor (won't name him since I don't think anyone else has) but Patrick is a good counselor who probably got fed up with the crazy parents. I think it's appalling that anyone would suggest that he was connected to the scandal.

Here's the reality of independent school college counseling:

The admissions offices promise parents the world, setting up expectations that can't be fulfilled. They lie, really. As an independent consultant, I have a whole staff of people and we are working with a much smaller group of seniors than the class at Sidwell. We are able to give them an incredible amount of one-on-one attention for this reason. Independent school counselors CANNOT DO THIS. It doesn't matter how amazing they are, it's a matter of math. They have X amount of hours to be spread amongst Y amount of kids, and they also have a lot of extra duties that come with working at an independent school. I can take the time to go over each student's supplemental essay 10 times until it's the most perfect reflection of that student, and those people cannot.

Also, since we are on the subject, I should mention that it's much quicker to rewrite a student's essay than to "coach" the student to rewrite his own essay. It ends up being much more authentic that way but takes forever. That's why I have a job. But when parents expect this of the college counselors, of course they are disappointed. It's about expectations.

Lastly, speaking of expectations, a lot of these parents simply do not understand what college admissions is like today. It's brutal. That's why the crazies in LA decided to commit fraud - because there was no other way to guarantee that their kids would get into these schools. There are simply no guarantees anymore. Incredibly qualified, wonderful kids are denied left right and center. And a lot of independent school parents blame this on their school college counselors, for some reason. As if the college counselor could have done something to change the outcome.

Trust me, those people are fighting tooth and nail for your kids behind the scenes. The absolute DUMBEST thing you could possibly do is to piss them off. Even Rick Singer, according to the wiretap transcript, yelled at parents for this. It's a fast track way to making sure your kid gets in nowhere. Why on earth would you demean, insult, and badmouth the person who is trying to HELP your CHILD?

So you admit you’re rewriting essays? Isnt it possible you’re hurting kids more than helping?

No, my point is that I’m doing what takes longer, which is NOT rewriting them- I’m coaching the student to self-edit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the parent of a current Sidwell junior and I'm much more anxious now than I was yesterday about the college admissions process. We're in the early stages of the process, so hearing that 2 of the 3 people in the CC office are leaving is very upsetting news. But if the college counselors were being mistreated by parents, then I can't blame them for wanting to leave the school. The behavior that was described or any similar behavior shouldn't be tolerated....ever.

At some schools a parent calling the Admissions Dept at a University to bad mouth their DC's classmate and fellow community member would be grounds to not renew that family's contract moving forward.

Does this parent have younger children in the school ?

If so, the family should be shown the door

I agree that what the parent did is beyond horrible, but you don't solve the problem by expelling an innocent kid.

Don't these schools always say they are accepting the family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the parent of a current Sidwell junior and I'm much more anxious now than I was yesterday about the college admissions process. We're in the early stages of the process, so hearing that 2 of the 3 people in the CC office are leaving is very upsetting news. But if the college counselors were being mistreated by parents, then I can't blame them for wanting to leave the school. The behavior that was described or any similar behavior shouldn't be tolerated....ever.

At some schools a parent calling the Admissions Dept at a University to bad mouth their DC's classmate and fellow community member would be grounds to not renew that family's contract moving forward.

Does this parent have younger children in the school ?

If so, the family should be shown the door

I agree that what the parent did is beyond horrible, but you don't solve the problem by expelling an innocent kid.

Don't these schools always say they are accepting the family?

No they don't.

[Anonymous]

Editing an essay 10X is not that different than re-writing it. It seems like you don’t see there isn’t much of a distinction at that point...giving feedback 1-2x is fine, 10 times??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Editing an essay 10X is not that different than re-writing it. It seems like you don’t see there isn’t much of a distinction at that point...giving feedback 1-2x is fine, 10 times??

Different poster here. I write for a living.

That's a moronic thing to say. In the case of teaching a child to self-edit based on feedback, you're teaching them to write. You're forcing them to think.

The difference is are you editing or having the child self-edit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the parent of a current Sidwell junior and I'm much more anxious now than I was yesterday about the college admissions process. We're in the early stages of the process, so hearing that 2 of the 3 people in the CC office are leaving is very upsetting news. But if the college counselors were being mistreated by parents, then I can't blame them for wanting to leave the school. The behavior that was described or any similar behavior shouldn't be tolerated....ever.

At some schools a parent calling the Admissions Dept at a University to bad mouth their DC's classmate and fellow community member would be grounds to not renew that family's contract moving forward.

Does this parent have younger children in the school ?

If so, the family should be shown the door

I agree that what the parent did is beyond horrible, but you don't solve the problem by expelling an innocent kid.

Don't these schools always say they are accepting the family?

Yes, they do, especially for lower schools. I think you haven’t been to an Open House in quite a few years.

Meanwhile, it sucks that the kid would suffer for what a parent did, but kids benefit and suffer from what their parents do all the time. You can’t effectively reject the parent’s behavior without the kid getting hurt too.

No they don't.