Tell me what's weird about where you're staying: Tgiving '18 Edition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh god- I'm so sorry I'm not the only one:

Air Mattress in the basement, b/c DH old bedroom is too full of stuff for us to stay there.

Brown carpet in my FIL's bathroom, which is the only bathroom with a shower.

Said shower has two temperatures- scalding or arctic.

And FIL has a bad habit of coming in to use the bathroom without knocking, occasionally catching me in the shower. (and, when he flushes, I get scalded).

Therefore, I avoid bathing at their house. Unfortunately, it's unavoidable at Christmas, so we've developed a complicated scheme of getting my FIL to run an errand, so I can shower in peace.

MIL stores food outside- either in an old cooler or directly on the picnic table, b/c the fridge is full.

And some of the food in the cabinets expired last century. Literally.

On the bright side, the air mattress is always nicely made with sheets and blankets when we arrive. And my MIL won't let anyone go hungry. And they are really lovely people, who just aren't used to sharing their space anymore.

Your FIL is a gross man. At the very least, your dh should be standing guard outside that bathroom while you take a shower in peace. Honestly, I would get aa hotel room or go home early!

He's really not- he's just old and when he has to pee, he has to pee. He heads to his bathroom like usual, and the doorknob lock is ineffective- you just have to jiggle the doorknob and it pops open. I don't think he can really hear the shower going, or maybe he thinks it's DH in the shower. He's very apologetic when he realizes what happened (and there is a solid shower curtain- it's not like he can see anything), he just can't wait any longer.

Complete bullshit.

Just put a SIGN ON THE DOOR. And if he ignores that, you have a control freak or a creep-o on your hands. It IS avoidable to stay with them for Christmas: avoid it by NOT STAYING THERE.

"Dad, even with a sign on the door and being reminded, you invade Jane's privacy when she is in the shower. So we won't be staying here again. What's that? You promise it will never happen again? OK, we'll give it one more try, but if you come in while Jane is showering, we will never be staying here again."

How nice for you that you don’t have elderly relatives in your life whose bodies don’t work perfectly. My FIL is like PP‘s. When he has to go, he has to go, or he WILL PEE HIS PANTS. Are you suggesting that is an acceptable burden to put on an elderly person in their own home? Get some compassion. Luckily for us, my ILs have an extra bathroom so we don’t have this issue at their house, although we do when we vacation with them. You learn to plan around it, like making up errands to get him out, or you of course could choose not to stay there. But that doesn’t make her FIL a control freak or a creepo.

Ummmm....if the host is routinely barging into the bathroom room while their guest is in the shower you can bet your arse that we would be in a hotel faster than you can say "Oops! Sorry!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not allowed to go in the kitchen between meals. My 10 year old went in and was rummaging around looking for a snack and the host threw a fit.

Wow. You allowed your child to rummage through your host's kitchen w/o express permission from the host to do so? That's pretty bad .

Wait, what? My ten year old helps herself to a snack when she is hungry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not allowed to go in the kitchen between meals. My 10 year old went in and was rummaging around looking for a snack and the host threw a fit.

Wow. You allowed your child to rummage through your host's kitchen w/o express permission from the host to do so? That's pretty bad .

Wait, what? My ten year old helps herself to a snack when she is hungry.

What? Never w/o permission in another person's kitchen. You ASK. Always, always ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not allowed to go in the kitchen between meals. My 10 year old went in and was rummaging around looking for a snack and the host threw a fit.

Wow. You allowed your child to rummage through your host's kitchen w/o express permission from the host to do so? That's pretty bad .

+1. That is a HUGE no-no. Even if it is your own parents or siblings (or DH equivalent), but especially if it is anyone more removed than that.

No, it’s not. My guests are offered free reign to the kitchen and pantry. I make sure to stock up on things I know my guests like. I want everyone to feel at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not allowed to go in the kitchen between meals. My 10 year old went in and was rummaging around looking for a snack and the host threw a fit.

Wow. You allowed your child to rummage through your host's kitchen w/o express permission from the host to do so? That's pretty bad .

+1. That is a HUGE no-no. Even if it is your own parents or siblings (or DH equivalent), but especially if it is anyone more removed than that.

No, it’s not. My guests are offered free reign to the kitchen and pantry. I make sure to stock up on things I know my guests like. I want everyone to feel at home.

Hi there. Not everyone is you. My MIL/FIL do not allow people to take food from their house without asking. Might as well double-check with your hosts as to their preferences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not allowed to go in the kitchen between meals. My 10 year old went in and was rummaging around looking for a snack and the host threw a fit.

Wow. You allowed your child to rummage through your host's kitchen w/o express permission from the host to do so? That's pretty bad .

+1. That is a HUGE no-no. Even if it is your own parents or siblings (or DH equivalent), but especially if it is anyone more removed than that.

NP. The child should ask for more if he’s hungry, but please don’t host if you don’t intend to feed your guests enough. My ILs don’t fix nearly enough food, and we’re all left starving after each meal.

No one said the child was wrong for being hungry, or the parent was wrong for meeting that need. BUT ASK FIRST, duh. Common courtesy. Literally Being a Good Guest 101.

Me too...I love it.


What part of the above post did you not comprehend? The PP said the child should ask, and you’ve added nothing to the conversation except snark. Read and try to understand before you post.

You clarified a point no one muddied. NO ONE said hosts shouldn't provide food.

LOL. Given that the child was scrounging for food and hungry, it was a valid point. And it was also valid for a poster to share an experience of stingy in laws who weren’t offering enough food. Sharing such things is the point of the thread.

Yeah, so anyway, all guests should ASK before rummaging around in anyone's kitchen. Point blank period. If you don't think your hosts provide enough food:

1) ASK for some
2) If it's repeated, STAY IN A HOTEL (fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice...)
3) Or if you don't want resulting hotel drama, bring some of your own food

Guests are welcome to anything they would like in my kitchen. Scrounging encouraged. My adult kids and their spouses treat my home as home and I'm so thankful. I cannot imagine closing the kitchen. One of my favorite things is walking downstairs at 2am and seeing my kids deep in discussion around the kitchen table. With Christmas treats, of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not allowed to go in the kitchen between meals. My 10 year old went in and was rummaging around looking for a snack and the host threw a fit.

Wow. You allowed your child to rummage through your host's kitchen w/o express permission from the host to do so? That's pretty bad .

+1. That is a HUGE no-no. Even if it is your own parents or siblings (or DH equivalent), but especially if it is anyone more removed than that.

NP. The child should ask for more if he’s hungry, but please don’t host if you don’t intend to feed your guests enough. My ILs don’t fix nearly enough food, and we’re all left starving after each meal.

No one said the child was wrong for being hungry, or the parent was wrong for meeting that need. BUT ASK FIRST, duh. Common courtesy. Literally Being a Good Guest 101.

What part of the above post did you not comprehend? The PP said the child should ask, and you’ve added nothing to the conversation except snark. Read and try to understand before you post.

You clarified a point no one muddied. NO ONE said hosts shouldn't provide food.

LOL. Given that the child was scrounging for food and hungry, it was a valid point. And it was also valid for a poster to share an experience of stingy in laws who weren’t offering enough food. Sharing such things is the point of the thread.

Yeah, so anyway, all guests should ASK before rummaging around in anyone's kitchen. Point blank period. If you don't think your hosts provide enough food:

1) ASK for some
2) If it's repeated, STAY IN A HOTEL (fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice...)
3) Or if you don't want resulting hotel drama, bring some of your own food

Guests are welcome to anything they would like in my kitchen. Scrounging encouraged. My adult kids and their spouses treat my home as home and I'm so thankful. I cannot imagine closing the kitchen. One of my favorite things is walking downstairs at 2am and seeing my kids deep in discussion around the kitchen table. With Christmas treats, of course.

I agree with this. I want my kids and their spouses to feel at home. They are welcome to rummage through any closet or drawer if they need something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not allowed to go in the kitchen between meals. My 10 year old went in and was rummaging around looking for a snack and the host threw a fit.

Wow. You allowed your child to rummage through your host's kitchen w/o express permission from the host to do so? That's pretty bad .

+1. That is a HUGE no-no. Even if it is your own parents or siblings (or DH equivalent), but especially if it is anyone more removed than that.

NP. The child should ask for more if he’s hungry, but please don’t host if you don’t intend to feed your guests enough. My ILs don’t fix nearly enough food, and we’re all left starving after each meal.

No one said the child was wrong for being hungry, or the parent was wrong for meeting that need. BUT ASK FIRST, duh. Common courtesy. Literally Being a Good Guest 101.

What part of the above post did you not comprehend? The PP said the child should ask, and you’ve added nothing to the conversation except snark. Read and try to understand before you post.

You clarified a point no one muddied. NO ONE said hosts shouldn't provide food.

LOL. Given that the child was scrounging for food and hungry, it was a valid point. And it was also valid for a poster to share an experience of stingy in laws who weren’t offering enough food. Sharing such things is the point of the thread.

Yeah, so anyway, all guests should ASK before rummaging around in anyone's kitchen. Point blank period. If you don't think your hosts provide enough food:

1) ASK for some
2) If it's repeated, STAY IN A HOTEL (fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice...)
3) Or if you don't want resulting hotel drama, bring some of your own food

Guests are welcome to anything they would like in my kitchen. Scrounging encouraged. My adult kids and their spouses treat my home as home and I'm so thankful. I cannot imagine closing the kitchen. One of my favorite things is walking downstairs at 2am and seeing my kids deep in discussion around the kitchen table. With Christmas treats, of course.

I agree with this. I want my kids and their spouses to feel at home. They are welcome to rummage through any closet or drawer if they need something.

How nice for you.

Not everyone feels the way you feel about their kitchens and their homes.

Which is why well-mannered, thoughtful people *ask first* just to make sure what their hosts are comfortable with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not allowed to go in the kitchen between meals. My 10 year old went in and was rummaging around looking for a snack and the host threw a fit.

Wow. You allowed your child to rummage through your host's kitchen w/o express permission from the host to do so? That's pretty bad .

+1. That is a HUGE no-no. Even if it is your own parents or siblings (or DH equivalent), but especially if it is anyone more removed than that.

No, it’s not. My guests are offered free reign to the kitchen and pantry. I make sure to stock up on things I know my guests like. I want everyone to feel at home.

Hi there. Not everyone is you. My MIL/FIL do not allow people to take food from their house without asking. Might as well double-check with your hosts as to their preferences.

Not everyone is selfish like your in laws.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not allowed to go in the kitchen between meals. My 10 year old went in and was rummaging around looking for a snack and the host threw a fit.

Wow. You allowed your child to rummage through your host's kitchen w/o express permission from the host to do so? That's pretty bad .

+1. That is a HUGE no-no. Even if it is your own parents or siblings (or DH equivalent), but especially if it is anyone more removed than that.

No, it’s not. My guests are offered free reign to the kitchen and pantry. I make sure to stock up on things I know my guests like. I want everyone to feel at home.

Hi there. Not everyone is you. My MIL/FIL do not allow people to take food from their house without asking. Might as well double-check with your hosts as to their preferences.

Not everyone is selfish like your in laws.

That's exactly right. The world is, indeed, made up of all kinds of people. Which is why well-mannered, thoughtful people ask first to make sure they know what their hosts are comfortable with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not allowed to go in the kitchen between meals. My 10 year old went in and was rummaging around looking for a snack and the host threw a fit.

Wow. You allowed your child to rummage through your host's kitchen w/o express permission from the host to do so? That's pretty bad .

+1. That is a HUGE no-no. Even if it is your own parents or siblings (or DH equivalent), but especially if it is anyone more removed than that.

NP. The child should ask for more if he’s hungry, but please don’t host if you don’t intend to feed your guests enough. My ILs don’t fix nearly enough food, and we’re all left starving after each meal.

No one said the child was wrong for being hungry, or the parent was wrong for meeting that need. BUT ASK FIRST, duh. Common courtesy. Literally Being a Good Guest 101.

What part of the above post did you not comprehend? The PP said the child should ask, and you’ve added nothing to the conversation except snark. Read and try to understand before you post.

You clarified a point no one muddied. NO ONE said hosts shouldn't provide food.

LOL. Given that the child was scrounging for food and hungry, it was a valid point. And it was also valid for a poster to share an experience of stingy in laws who weren’t offering enough food. Sharing such things is the point of the thread.

Yeah, so anyway, all guests should ASK before rummaging around in anyone's kitchen. Point blank period. If you don't think your hosts provide enough food:

1) ASK for some
2) If it's repeated, STAY IN A HOTEL (fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice...)
3) Or if you don't want resulting hotel drama, bring some of your own food

Guests are welcome to anything they would like in my kitchen. Scrounging encouraged. My adult kids and their spouses treat my home as home and I'm so thankful. I cannot imagine closing the kitchen. One of my favorite things is walking downstairs at 2am and seeing my kids deep in discussion around the kitchen table. With Christmas treats, of course.

I agree with this. I want my kids and their spouses to feel at home. They are welcome to rummage through any closet or drawer if they need something.

How nice for you.

Not everyone feels the way you feel about their kitchens and their homes.

Which is why well-mannered, thoughtful people *ask first* just to make sure what their hosts are comfortable with.

It’s nice for my children and their families. Hosts need to be well mannered as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not allowed to go in the kitchen between meals. My 10 year old went in and was rummaging around looking for a snack and the host threw a fit.

Wow. You allowed your child to rummage through your host's kitchen w/o express permission from the host to do so? That's pretty bad .

+1. That is a HUGE no-no. Even if it is your own parents or siblings (or DH equivalent), but especially if it is anyone more removed than that.

No, it’s not. My guests are offered free reign to the kitchen and pantry. I make sure to stock up on things I know my guests like. I want everyone to feel at home.

Hi there. Not everyone is you. My MIL/FIL do not allow people to take food from their house without asking. Might as well double-check with your hosts as to their preferences.

Not everyone is selfish like your in laws.

That's exactly right. The world is, indeed, made up of all kinds of people. Which is why well-mannered, thoughtful people ask first to make sure they know what their hosts are comfortable with.

Which is why if you are going to host, you make sure your guests feel comfortable. If your kitchen is such a temple, don’t host.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not allowed to go in the kitchen between meals. My 10 year old went in and was rummaging around looking for a snack and the host threw a fit.

Wow. You allowed your child to rummage through your host's kitchen w/o express permission from the host to do so? That's pretty bad .

+1. That is a HUGE no-no. Even if it is your own parents or siblings (or DH equivalent), but especially if it is anyone more removed than that.

No, it’s not. My guests are offered free reign to the kitchen and pantry. I make sure to stock up on things I know my guests like. I want everyone to feel at home.

Hi there. Not everyone is you. My MIL/FIL do not allow people to take food from their house without asking. Might as well double-check with your hosts as to their preferences.

Not everyone is selfish like your in laws.

That's exactly right. The world is, indeed, made up of all kinds of people. Which is why well-mannered, thoughtful people ask first to make sure they know what their hosts are comfortable with.

Which is why if you are going to host, you make sure your guests feel comfortable. If your kitchen is such a temple, don’t host.

If only your pronouncements made it so. Alas, my ILs and people like them will continue to host. Which is why thoughtful, well-mannered people ask before opening cabinets and rifling through drawers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not allowed to go in the kitchen between meals. My 10 year old went in and was rummaging around looking for a snack and the host threw a fit.

Wow. You allowed your child to rummage through your host's kitchen w/o express permission from the host to do so? That's pretty bad .

+1. That is a HUGE no-no. Even if it is your own parents or siblings (or DH equivalent), but especially if it is anyone more removed than that.

NP. The child should ask for more if he’s hungry, but please don’t host if you don’t intend to feed your guests enough. My ILs don’t fix nearly enough food, and we’re all left starving after each meal.

No one said the child was wrong for being hungry, or the parent was wrong for meeting that need. BUT ASK FIRST, duh. Common courtesy. Literally Being a Good Guest 101.

What part of the above post did you not comprehend? The PP said the child should ask, and you’ve added nothing to the conversation except snark. Read and try to understand before you post.

You clarified a point no one muddied. NO ONE said hosts shouldn't provide food.

LOL. Given that the child was scrounging for food and hungry, it was a valid point. And it was also valid for a poster to share an experience of stingy in laws who weren’t offering enough food. Sharing such things is the point of the thread.

Yeah, so anyway, all guests should ASK before rummaging around in anyone's kitchen. Point blank period. If you don't think your hosts provide enough food:

1) ASK for some
2) If it's repeated, STAY IN A HOTEL (fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice...)
3) Or if you don't want resulting hotel drama, bring some of your own food

Guests are welcome to anything they would like in my kitchen. Scrounging encouraged. My adult kids and their spouses treat my home as home and I'm so thankful. I cannot imagine closing the kitchen. One of my favorite things is walking downstairs at 2am and seeing my kids deep in discussion around the kitchen table. With Christmas treats, of course.

I agree with this. I want my kids and their spouses to feel at home. They are welcome to rummage through any closet or drawer if they need something.

How nice for you.

Not everyone feels the way you feel about their kitchens and their homes.

Which is why well-mannered, thoughtful people *ask first* just to make sure what their hosts are comfortable with.

It’s nice for my children and their families. Hosts need to be well mannered as well.

Absolutely. When asked for something, they should absolutely do their best to provide it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not allowed to go in the kitchen between meals. My 10 year old went in and was rummaging around looking for a snack and the host threw a fit.

Wow. You allowed your child to rummage through your host's kitchen w/o express permission from the host to do so? That's pretty bad .

+1. That is a HUGE no-no. Even if it is your own parents or siblings (or DH equivalent), but especially if it is anyone more removed than that.

NP. The child should ask for more if he’s hungry, but please don’t host if you don’t intend to feed your guests enough. My ILs don’t fix nearly enough food, and we’re all left starving after each meal.

No one said the child was wrong for being hungry, or the parent was wrong for meeting that need. BUT ASK FIRST, duh. Common courtesy. Literally Being a Good Guest 101.

What part of the above post did you not comprehend? The PP said the child should ask, and you’ve added nothing to the conversation except snark. Read and try to understand before you post.

You clarified a point no one muddied. NO ONE said hosts shouldn't provide food.

LOL. Given that the child was scrounging for food and hungry, it was a valid point. And it was also valid for a poster to share an experience of stingy in laws who weren’t offering enough food. Sharing such things is the point of the thread.

Yeah, so anyway, all guests should ASK before rummaging around in anyone's kitchen. Point blank period. If you don't think your hosts provide enough food:

1) ASK for some
2) If it's repeated, STAY IN A HOTEL (fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice...)
3) Or if you don't want resulting hotel drama, bring some of your own food

Guests are welcome to anything they would like in my kitchen. Scrounging encouraged. My adult kids and their spouses treat my home as home and I'm so thankful. I cannot imagine closing the kitchen. One of my favorite things is walking downstairs at 2am and seeing my kids deep in discussion around the kitchen table. With Christmas treats, of course.

I agree with this. I want my kids and their spouses to feel at home. They are welcome to rummage through any closet or drawer if they need something.

How nice for you.

Not everyone feels the way you feel about their kitchens and their homes.

Which is why well-mannered, thoughtful people *ask first* just to make sure what their hosts are comfortable with.

It’s nice for my children and their families. Hosts need to be well mannered as well.

Absolutely. When asked for something, they should absolutely do their best to provide it.

Yes. Hosts aren't under any obligation to provide an open pantry to their guests. If a kid is hungry, the kid should ask for a snack. It's not o.k. to just start getting into things unless the host has indicated that it is o.k. for them to do so.