Reality check please - DH left toddler with 13 yr step daughter (whose foot is in a cast)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds fine to me. I was babysitting infants and toddlers when I was 13.

However, I should add, he should have let you know.

Disagree. He's a parent, he can decide that his kid is safe for a few hours with his sister in charge. The idea that he should have to run that by his wife is infantilizing.

Why? I let DH know if someone is caring for our child. Why should the other parent not be made aware of who is watching their own kid? I would never do this.

They are siblings and she is their teenage daughter.

[Anonymous]

op, do you ask your husband's permission to leave the kids with a babysitter?
this is perfectly normal, nice actually, that a 13 year old sister would help out with a 4 year old. btw, 4 is beyond toddler age.

[Anonymous]

This wasn’t even babysitting. It was his sister watching him for a couple of hours. I bet the 4 year old LOVED it. You could be mad at your dh if he asked someone you’d never met to watch your kid, not a member of your household. And she is a member even if she isn’t there all the time. I’m a control freak too but you have to swallow your anger, ask the kids if they had fun and thank sdd for doing such a good job.

[Anonymous]

The thing i'm most troubled by is that OP thinks her four year old is a "toddler". Holy infantilizing....

[Anonymous]

I had a cast for months and still managed to work full time and drive to 2 schools for my young kids, one of whom was also 4 at the time. Now I’m an adult but a leg cast isn’t the same thing as being in an iron lung.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I just found out that DH left DS with his daughter who just turned 13 for 2 1/2 hours while he ran errands and picked our other daughter up. She has never watched our son before, is in a cast, and we have never ever discussed this. I would not have agreed to this. I am furious. He says I have no right to be and am over reacting. Please reality check me. Tell me if I'm out of line.

You are totally out of line. Wow. Like, you're INSANELY out of line.

[Anonymous]

OP sounds like my crazy ex-wife. I couldn't do anything right. Had he stayed home with DS, OP would be here complaining about how husband was "too lazy to leave the house and run errands."

[Anonymous]

You son is four so pretty independent. Your step daughter is 13 and unless you think she will start smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol, I am sure she perfectly capable to watch your son. Having a cast would be a problem if she had to carry a baby up and down the stairs. My 4 year old could probably spend 2 hours alone at home given the opportunity. I trust her already.
You are over reacting and I would apologize immediately to your husband and step daughter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people are nuts. I'd be mad as hell if my husband left my kid with ANYONE without telling me first.

And this is probably why most of your men don’t do anything around the house and you’re always here b*tching and complaining. BecUse although they’re capable parents whose decision making is just fine, you treat them like a child and servant. No wonder so many of y’all are in crappy marriages. Treat your husband like the equal parent he is. Don’t question him on every little thing. Would you like to be constantly questioned or told you’re doing everything the wrong way? P*ss off already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She is in a cast and my son is sick. How could she even properly care for him? She has never babysat a kid before, doesn't live here full time and is not used to him.

She was supposed to administer dialysis???
Grow up.

[Anonymous]

NP here. I’m a mother and a stepmother (my stepkids are also much older than my kid like OP)

- I would have been surprised if my DH hadn’t told me beforehand. Not asking for permission but a “hey this is what’s up. All the kids are on board with the plan”

-OP - this took a while for me to realize, my DH knows my stepkids way better than I do. (I know this sounds like duhhhh but I had a lightbulb moment). He knows their temperament and skills much more acutely than I do. So he clearly thought his daughter could handle your son for a short time while he took care of the other children.

I can see why you initially were upset, it takes me a minute to go with the flow of changes too. I don’t know if you’re still reading this thread but maybe now is a good time to think about the sibling relationships. These have the potential of being lifelong supportive relationships and it may be worth your while to help nurture them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t like her, OP. We get it.

It may not be about not liking her but the child doesn't live there and is a visitor. Child is there to spend time with Dad, not babysit and depending on her mother, OP may get an earful. I didn't let my husband's kids babysit. They are there to spend time with Dad, not be our child care. Same for friends teenage kids who visit now. Those kids offer but they are there to spend time with all of us, not be babysitters.

They are not visitors they are family , kids and siblings.
What an ass you are.

[Anonymous]

Oh please people. Biological daughter or step, couple should have had a conversation as to whether teen was ready for this. Not just one party deciding without speaking to the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people are nuts. I'd be mad as hell if my husband left my kid with ANYONE without telling me first.

He left his kid at home with his older sister. He didn’t drop him off in some random place. You must be fun at parties.

[Anonymous]

LOL a 4 year old is not a toddler, and a 13 year old is perfectly capable of handling him for a few hours. You seem to have other issues.