Please wake me from this real estate nightmare, or just give me your advice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, do you live in Wilton, CT or nearby? Your descriptions sound a lot like that area. My grandmother lived there. And yes, she did Lyme's Disease one time too. However, we did love to visit her, go ice-skating on her pond, marveled at all the stone walls, watch the deer from her windows, etc.!

I'm guessing it is Westport, CT

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would stay and spray the shit out of my yard.

this.

easy

but with what??? toxic chemicals for your kids to play in? what are the effects of having your yard sprayed with these chemicals over and over?

Toxic chemicals that are killing off honey bees and poisoning the environment. Get a flock of guinea hens. They will clear your property of ticks.

[Anonymous]

tick tubes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Toxic chemicals that are killing off honey bees and poisoning the environment. Get a flock of guinea hens. They will clear your property of ticks.

I love guineas, but if you have a lot of ticks the dent they make will not be a significant as you might expect. I speak from experience..

[Anonymous]

Hey OP- My husband and I are house hunting and we looked at a house in N Potomac yesterday. There was deer poop in the yard and we saw hoove marks in the mud. My husband had Lyme extremely bad like you described your husband did so we understand the implications of ticks being in the yard. We decided not to consider the house.

[Anonymous]

Maybe put house quietly on the market..tell agent for sale if they have buyer...don't advertise. Maybe someone looking for country house...

[Anonymous]

we live in Chevy Chase DC...we get deer and ticks every year...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would stay and spray the shit out of my yard.

Ditto. Anti-deer measures, too. There are dangers everywhere. After being mugged on the street in a city, would you move from your dream home to escape bad things happening?

I say dig in and make it work. Research best practices and implement them. This incident will fade and your children will have not only all this environment has to offer (your dream) but also a story off family endurance (if it truly colors your experience there for years to come).

The positives you describe so far out measure the negative. People here spray for mosquitos in light of Zika. Some carry sprays in case someone tries to steal their phone. There are loads of choices and adaptations we make when in any given environment. DO see someone about your anxiety. Your location seems perfect for finding someone who would understand your experience and specific fears. Connect with local contractors and gardening services for assistance with the nuts and bolts of safety measures. Let them do it.

The experience does sound awful, but not insurmountable. If you're capable of reclaiming a glorious, big, old house to Elle Decor levels, you're more than capable of acquiring the services you need to safeguard against ticks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would stay and spray the shit out of my yard.

Ditto. Anti-deer measures, too. There are dangers everywhere. After being mugged on the street in a city, would you move from your dream home to escape bad things happening?

I say dig in and make it work. Research best practices and implement them. This incident will fade and your children will have not only all this environment has to offer (your dream) but also a story off family endurance (if it truly colors your experience there for years to come).

The positives you describe so far out measure the negative. People here spray for mosquitos in light of Zika. Some carry sprays in case someone tries to steal their phone. There are loads of choices and adaptations we make when in any given environment. DO see someone about your anxiety. Your location seems perfect for finding someone who would understand your experience and specific fears. Connect with local contractors and gardening services for assistance with the nuts and bolts of safety measures. Let them do it.

The experience does sound awful, but not insurmountable. If you're capable of reclaiming a glorious, big, old house to Elle Decor levels, you're more than capable of acquiring the services you need to safeguard against ticks.

[Anonymous]

Sorry if someone already said this (I didn't read the 9 pages of replies), but it sounds like you've got some PTSD-type symptoms from the traumatic experience (totally justified), plus the strain and stress that comes with a new baby.

I suggest you find some general outlets for your stress -- exercise or whatever, try to get more sleep, spray the crap out of your yard, and work on making positive memories at that house with your family. Give it a drama-free year before you make a decision. (And what do the older 2 kids think about the new place?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't move just yet. You are just emerging on the other side of this experience, the trauma is still fresh. Give yourself a little time to recover and see if you feel better about everything. Maybe plan to spend one more year in the house and sell in Spring 2018 if you still aren't happy? In the upcoming year, your husband can get his health back, you can do some therapy for yourself. (To try to come to grips with/make peace with what you've been through.) You can enjoy extra time with your parents, and do all the tick prevention treatments and see how a summer goes. You may still want to move back, but maybe you'll have a different perspective. As you noted, there are risks and dangers everywhere.

+1. It takes a long time to adjust to a new place, make friends, feel comfortable. I think you might have been struggling to like your new home without the Lyme and the Lyme has obviously made it significantly worse. But I think you might be rash in moving away now, it's only been about 18 months, right? My vote is to set a deadline for yourself (perhaps one more year?) and then do everything in your power to enjoy your house/town now, including therapy. I think it's easy to imagine that moving somewhere else will fix everything (in fact, I do that all the time myself) but I think that is not often the case.

+1

Consider therapy, or if you don't think that's the issue, just some time for you and your family to heal and recover. Agree to revisit the issue in a year. Or 6 months. And in the meantime, self-consciously caption the issue and try to make good memories, engage with the community, and otherwise try to live the life you had imagined.

[Anonymous]

Guinnie Hens