Please wake me from this real estate nightmare, or just give me your advice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A) Why would you loose a ton of money on the resale?

B) move back to the city to a GREAT area. I used to live in Columbia Heights. Now I'm in Logan Circle with zero regrets.

C) Amy Tan wrote great articles on this subject https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/lifestyle/wellness/2003/08/05/amy-tan-ticked-off-about-lyme/68458500-c46b-4b5e-a2b0-f375fb7a9b30/?utm_term=.7e06293b8643

Thanks for this. We would lose money because other buyers aren't as starry-eyed as we were: our house was on the market for YEARS before we stupidly bought it, because others were (quite rightly!) scared off by the house's age and condition. We were touched by its classic beauty. The house is objectively lovely and in a great location and we have improved it a LOT. Still, its age, and all of the political uncertainty, will probably make it a hard sell. Unless a couple of other citified fools come wandering this way...!

[b]To those of you who've suggested that I medicate myself: I'm glad that you never experience dilemmas and regrets. Nice work!

Although I understand your fear of another bout of Lyme, I think the bolded issue is definitely a big one in your decision-making process. In fact, your thread title, "Please wake me from this real estate nightmare..." doesn't imply that you are upset about the Lyme; but rather, that you got yourself into a money pit of a house. The Lyme just makes it worse. The house is sucking up all of your funds and energy AND the lot is full of Lyme-ridden ticks. Do you think you'd feel similarly if you had purchased another home/property in the same town? One that was newer and required less-maintenance? Probably not. You'd be like all of the other residents of the town: wary of Lyme but willing to deal with it. It's the house from which you're trying to escape.

That said, I don't think you should sell until you can find someone who buys it from you "as-is." As you stated, it could take years to get such a buyer but I wouldn't put anymore time and energy into a place that you obviously despise. Or you could sell it at a fire-sale price and chalk it up to a lesson learned. Either way, save your sanity and just put it on the market, hopeful for the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can put a 6 foot (or even 8 foot) fence around the perimeter of your property to keep the deer out.

A deer can jump a 6 foot fence without even getting a running start. An eight foot fence might discourage them, but not stop them.

Deer haven't jumped my 6 foot fence (yet).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go see someone about your anxiety.

This.

This seems to be the new thing on DCUM. Is everyone else just konked out on Xanax at all times because worrying about getting lyme disease after you husband has suffered a debilitating illness because of it seems, to me, a very legitimate concern

Anxiety doesn't necessarily mean irrational anxiety. Her concern is VERY legitimate... and the stress over it is keeping her from living the life she wants to live and from having peace. Therapy can help develop coping mechanisms where you acknowledge the concern/risk is real, but don't let anxiety build up to high levels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand your turmoil; I don't think your thought process is immature at all. You've all been traumatized by this and you want the nightmare to end. You don't want to have to worry about it happening again. Yes, you could cross a street and get hit by a bus, but I think it is human nature to try to eliminate "dangers" when we possibly can, especially if there are kids involved.

So my take on this is that your decision to stay or go is part based on fact (look, there are definitely some places where deer ticks are more prevalent. No one can deny that. So if you happen to be in a high incidence area, the question becomes what is every possible thing you can do to minimize the risk, and are you doing it) and part, a larger part, based on emotion. it's almost a form a PTSD. You look out the window, you think Lyme disease. How many times have each of us had something bad happen to us and we say, "never again," even though the chances of it happening again may be much less than we perceive it to be or negotiable?

When it comes down to it, the facts matter less than the feels. I know a friend who was mugged in NY, on the Upper East Side. She couldn't walk down the street in her own neighborhood after that without looking over her shoulder. What are the chances she'd get mugged again, especially considering where in NYC she lives, that she had a doorman building, that she lived on a street where there was plenty of foot traffic, etc.?

She moved b/c she didn't want to live like that. Even seeing a therapist didn't help to mute the fear to the point where she decided to hell with the facts, she wasn't comfortable living in NYC anymore. She moved to a smaller, cute college town and she is as thrilled as can be. Does she miss elements of the city? Absolutely. But she feels her quality of life and peace of mind has dramatically improved. Was it because she secretly didn't like living in the city anymore and used this as an excuse? Nope. I do not believe so.

As far as your situation, no one can give you an accurate statistic as to whether you or your kids will personally get bitten. Or your husband again for that matter.

I think when you mentioned things like "the schools are shaky" that's what is leading some people to interpret that as you just want to go back to the city and are using this as an excuse. I don't get that sense from your email. What I get is, you have had this horrible thing happen, and now you are re-evaluating everything about the move. Things that you accepted before now loom like bigger factors. You are putting together a story, so to speak, about you and your family's life in that area. I think that is totally normal and not impulsive.

Weigh how much you love the neighborhood and living near your parents. Weigh the financial impact. Make sure you talk to every expert about minimizing risks. Then decide as a family if there is just too much bad associated with staying there, and if it will continue to negatively impact your lives in a way that outweighs the positive.

I mean, sheesh... If I lived at the Shining and managed to escape... and after someone new bought the property, had an exorcism there, updated the decor to something more contemporary and had some of the Game of Thrones dragons protecting the place... I'm still not sure I'd want to go stay there for a "vacation" again....

I haven't read all the posts on this thread yet but I LOVE this PP's take. OP's experience is an emotional response, and just because it's emotional doesn't mean it should (or can) be discounted. If all OP thinks of is trauma when looking out the kitchen window, then that says enough for me. I wouldn't waste time trying to convince myself it's "just emotions," or impetuous, or impulsive, or whatever. I'd change whatever needed to be changed to mitigate the trauma. I've had similar experiences myself (ie something really bad happened somewhere, and the only way to really move beyond it is to just not revisit the place where it happened.) As another PP said, you just get one life. Don't waste time on trying to ignore/discount your emotional response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand your turmoil; I don't think your thought process is immature at all. You've all been traumatized by this and you want the nightmare to end. You don't want to have to worry about it happening again. Yes, you could cross a street and get hit by a bus, but I think it is human nature to try to eliminate "dangers" when we possibly can, especially if there are kids involved.

So my take on this is that your decision to stay or go is part based on fact (look, there are definitely some places where deer ticks are more prevalent. No one can deny that. So if you happen to be in a high incidence area, the question becomes what is every possible thing you can do to minimize the risk, and are you doing it) and part, a larger part, based on emotion. it's almost a form a PTSD. You look out the window, you think Lyme disease. How many times have each of us had something bad happen to us and we say, "never again," even though the chances of it happening again may be much less than we perceive it to be or negotiable?

When it comes down to it, the facts matter less than the feels. I know a friend who was mugged in NY, on the Upper East Side. She couldn't walk down the street in her own neighborhood after that without looking over her shoulder. What are the chances she'd get mugged again, especially considering where in NYC she lives, that she had a doorman building, that she lived on a street where there was plenty of foot traffic, etc.?

She moved b/c she didn't want to live like that. Even seeing a therapist didn't help to mute the fear to the point where she decided to hell with the facts, she wasn't comfortable living in NYC anymore. She moved to a smaller, cute college town and she is as thrilled as can be. Does she miss elements of the city? Absolutely. But she feels her quality of life and peace of mind has dramatically improved. Was it because she secretly didn't like living in the city anymore and used this as an excuse? Nope. I do not believe so.

As far as your situation, no one can give you an accurate statistic as to whether you or your kids will personally get bitten. Or your husband again for that matter.

I think when you mentioned things like "the schools are shaky" that's what is leading some people to interpret that as you just want to go back to the city and are using this as an excuse. I don't get that sense from your email. What I get is, you have had this horrible thing happen, and now you are re-evaluating everything about the move. Things that you accepted before now loom like bigger factors. You are putting together a story, so to speak, about you and your family's life in that area. I think that is totally normal and not impulsive.

Weigh how much you love the neighborhood and living near your parents. Weigh the financial impact. Make sure you talk to every expert about minimizing risks. Then decide as a family if there is just too much bad associated with staying there, and if it will continue to negatively impact your lives in a way that outweighs the positive.

I mean, sheesh... If I lived at the Shining and managed to escape... and after someone new bought the property, had an exorcism there, updated the decor to something more contemporary and had some of the Game of Thrones dragons protecting the place... I'm still not sure I'd want to go stay there for a "vacation" again....

I haven't read all the posts on this thread yet but I LOVE this PP's take. OP's experience is an emotional response, and just because it's emotional doesn't mean it should (or can) be discounted. If all OP thinks of is trauma when looking out the kitchen window, then that says enough for me. I wouldn't waste time trying to convince myself it's "just emotions," or impetuous, or impulsive, or whatever. I'd change whatever needed to be changed to mitigate the trauma. I've had similar experiences myself (ie something really bad happened somewhere, and the only way to really move beyond it is to just not revisit the place where it happened.) As another PP said, you just get one life. Don't waste time on trying to ignore/discount your emotional response.

Yeah, the emotional response is one thing. But she has to realize that bad things can happen anywhere. With this house it was Lyme disease. With the next house it could be crime. With the next house it could be bad schools.

Op needs to figure out if she has an underlying anxiety disorder that needs to be treated or if this particular house/location was simply a very bad fit for their family. If she is feeling isolated and extreme dread about being snowed in again with 3 small kids, I can't say that I blame her. Sometimes the reality doesn't quite live up to the fantasy....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand your turmoil; I don't think your thought process is immature at all. You've all been traumatized by this and you want the nightmare to end. You don't want to have to worry about it happening again. Yes, you could cross a street and get hit by a bus, but I think it is human nature to try to eliminate "dangers" when we possibly can, especially if there are kids involved.

So my take on this is that your decision to stay or go is part based on fact (look, there are definitely some places where deer ticks are more prevalent. No one can deny that. So if you happen to be in a high incidence area, the question becomes what is every possible thing you can do to minimize the risk, and are you doing it) and part, a larger part, based on emotion. it's almost a form a PTSD. You look out the window, you think Lyme disease. How many times have each of us had something bad happen to us and we say, "never again," even though the chances of it happening again may be much less than we perceive it to be or negotiable?

When it comes down to it, the facts matter less than the feels. I know a friend who was mugged in NY, on the Upper East Side. She couldn't walk down the street in her own neighborhood after that without looking over her shoulder. What are the chances she'd get mugged again, especially considering where in NYC she lives, that she had a doorman building, that she lived on a street where there was plenty of foot traffic, etc.?

She moved b/c she didn't want to live like that. Even seeing a therapist didn't help to mute the fear to the point where she decided to hell with the facts, she wasn't comfortable living in NYC anymore. She moved to a smaller, cute college town and she is as thrilled as can be. Does she miss elements of the city? Absolutely. But she feels her quality of life and peace of mind has dramatically improved. Was it because she secretly didn't like living in the city anymore and used this as an excuse? Nope. I do not believe so.

As far as your situation, no one can give you an accurate statistic as to whether you or your kids will personally get bitten. Or your husband again for that matter.

I think when you mentioned things like "the schools are shaky" that's what is leading some people to interpret that as you just want to go back to the city and are using this as an excuse. I don't get that sense from your email. What I get is, you have had this horrible thing happen, and now you are re-evaluating everything about the move. Things that you accepted before now loom like bigger factors. You are putting together a story, so to speak, about you and your family's life in that area. I think that is totally normal and not impulsive.

Weigh how much you love the neighborhood and living near your parents. Weigh the financial impact. Make sure you talk to every expert about minimizing risks. Then decide as a family if there is just too much bad associated with staying there, and if it will continue to negatively impact your lives in a way that outweighs the positive.

I mean, sheesh... If I lived at the Shining and managed to escape... and after someone new bought the property, had an exorcism there, updated the decor to something more contemporary and had some of the Game of Thrones dragons protecting the place... I'm still not sure I'd want to go stay there for a "vacation" again....

I haven't read all the posts on this thread yet but I LOVE this PP's take. OP's experience is an emotional response, and just because it's emotional doesn't mean it should (or can) be discounted. If all OP thinks of is trauma when looking out the kitchen window, then that says enough for me. I wouldn't waste time trying to convince myself it's "just emotions," or impetuous, or impulsive, or whatever. I'd change whatever needed to be changed to mitigate the trauma. I've had similar experiences myself (ie something really bad happened somewhere, and the only way to really move beyond it is to just not revisit the place where it happened.) As another PP said, you just get one life. Don't waste time on trying to ignore/discount your emotional response.

Yeah, the emotional response is one thing. But she has to realize that bad things can happen anywhere. With this house it was Lyme disease. With the next house it could be crime. With the next house it could be bad schools.

Op needs to figure out if she has an underlying anxiety disorder that needs to be treated or if this particular house/location was simply a very bad fit for their family. If she is feeling isolated and extreme dread about being snowed in again with 3 small kids, I can't say that I blame her. Sometimes the reality doesn't quite live up to the fantasy....

Hi. OP here. After this post, I'm going to stop trying to convince you guys that this is a real, epidemic-like problem, instead of just my own paranoid perspective. Lyme disease has actually changed the nature of these societies, or at least the culture of the outdoors. This paragraph is from a New Yorker story from a few weeks ago about efforts to eradicate Lyme disease:

"More than a quarter of Nantucket’s residents have been infected with Lyme, which has become one of the most rapidly spreading diseases in the United States. The illness is often accompanied by a red bull’s-eye rash, along with fever and chills. When the disease is caught early enough, it can be cured in most cases with a single course of antibiotics. For many people, though, pain and neurological symptoms can persist for years. In communities throughout the Northeast, the fear of ticks has changed the nature of summer itself—few parents these days would permit a child to run barefoot through the grass or wander blithely into the woods."

I agree that I'm personally traumatized in some way by my particular experience, which happened THE DAY we bought our house. However, the fact remains that we paid tons of money (and continue to pay in taxes) for four acres of tick-ridden land that our children are not going to use in the way that we envisioned. I AM NOT THE ONLY PERSON WHO THINKS THIS WAY. Please see above!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand your turmoil; I don't think your thought process is immature at all. You've all been traumatized by this and you want the nightmare to end. You don't want to have to worry about it happening again. Yes, you could cross a street and get hit by a bus, but I think it is human nature to try to eliminate "dangers" when we possibly can, especially if there are kids involved.

So my take on this is that your decision to stay or go is part based on fact (look, there are definitely some places where deer ticks are more prevalent. No one can deny that. So if you happen to be in a high incidence area, the question becomes what is every possible thing you can do to minimize the risk, and are you doing it) and part, a larger part, based on emotion. it's almost a form a PTSD. You look out the window, you think Lyme disease. How many times have each of us had something bad happen to us and we say, "never again," even though the chances of it happening again may be much less than we perceive it to be or negotiable?

When it comes down to it, the facts matter less than the feels. I know a friend who was mugged in NY, on the Upper East Side. She couldn't walk down the street in her own neighborhood after that without looking over her shoulder. What are the chances she'd get mugged again, especially considering where in NYC she lives, that she had a doorman building, that she lived on a street where there was plenty of foot traffic, etc.?

She moved b/c she didn't want to live like that. Even seeing a therapist didn't help to mute the fear to the point where she decided to hell with the facts, she wasn't comfortable living in NYC anymore. She moved to a smaller, cute college town and she is as thrilled as can be. Does she miss elements of the city? Absolutely. But she feels her quality of life and peace of mind has dramatically improved. Was it because she secretly didn't like living in the city anymore and used this as an excuse? Nope. I do not believe so.

As far as your situation, no one can give you an accurate statistic as to whether you or your kids will personally get bitten. Or your husband again for that matter.

I think when you mentioned things like "the schools are shaky" that's what is leading some people to interpret that as you just want to go back to the city and are using this as an excuse. I don't get that sense from your email. What I get is, you have had this horrible thing happen, and now you are re-evaluating everything about the move. Things that you accepted before now loom like bigger factors. You are putting together a story, so to speak, about you and your family's life in that area. I think that is totally normal and not impulsive.

Weigh how much you love the neighborhood and living near your parents. Weigh the financial impact. Make sure you talk to every expert about minimizing risks. Then decide as a family if there is just too much bad associated with staying there, and if it will continue to negatively impact your lives in a way that outweighs the positive.

I mean, sheesh... If I lived at the Shining and managed to escape... and after someone new bought the property, had an exorcism there, updated the decor to something more contemporary and had some of the Game of Thrones dragons protecting the place... I'm still not sure I'd want to go stay there for a "vacation" again....

I haven't read all the posts on this thread yet but I LOVE this PP's take. OP's experience is an emotional response, and just because it's emotional doesn't mean it should (or can) be discounted. If all OP thinks of is trauma when looking out the kitchen window, then that says enough for me. I wouldn't waste time trying to convince myself it's "just emotions," or impetuous, or impulsive, or whatever. I'd change whatever needed to be changed to mitigate the trauma. I've had similar experiences myself (ie something really bad happened somewhere, and the only way to really move beyond it is to just not revisit the place where it happened.) As another PP said, you just get one life. Don't waste time on trying to ignore/discount your emotional response.

Yeah, the emotional response is one thing. But she has to realize that bad things can happen anywhere. With this house it was Lyme disease. With the next house it could be crime. With the next house it could be bad schools.

Op needs to figure out if she has an underlying anxiety disorder that needs to be treated or if this particular house/location was simply a very bad fit for their family. If she is feeling isolated and extreme dread about being snowed in again with 3 small kids, I can't say that I blame her. Sometimes the reality doesn't quite live up to the fantasy....

I'm the PP that you quoted. I really don't think the OP has an anxiety disorder that needs to be treated. (or if she does, I clearly have had several untreated anxiety disorders). This trauma (and yes, Lyme disease can be extremely traumatic) happened at her home, where she should feel safe. Being robbed at gunpoint in her house might be a good comparison, but sending her kids to sub-par schools is not at all an apt comparison IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand your turmoil; I don't think your thought process is immature at all. You've all been traumatized by this and you want the nightmare to end. You don't want to have to worry about it happening again. Yes, you could cross a street and get hit by a bus, but I think it is human nature to try to eliminate "dangers" when we possibly can, especially if there are kids involved.

So my take on this is that your decision to stay or go is part based on fact (look, there are definitely some places where deer ticks are more prevalent. No one can deny that. So if you happen to be in a high incidence area, the question becomes what is every possible thing you can do to minimize the risk, and are you doing it) and part, a larger part, based on emotion. it's almost a form a PTSD. You look out the window, you think Lyme disease. How many times have each of us had something bad happen to us and we say, "never again," even though the chances of it happening again may be much less than we perceive it to be or negotiable?

When it comes down to it, the facts matter less than the feels. I know a friend who was mugged in NY, on the Upper East Side. She couldn't walk down the street in her own neighborhood after that without looking over her shoulder. What are the chances she'd get mugged again, especially considering where in NYC she lives, that she had a doorman building, that she lived on a street where there was plenty of foot traffic, etc.?

She moved b/c she didn't want to live like that. Even seeing a therapist didn't help to mute the fear to the point where she decided to hell with the facts, she wasn't comfortable living in NYC anymore. She moved to a smaller, cute college town and she is as thrilled as can be. Does she miss elements of the city? Absolutely. But she feels her quality of life and peace of mind has dramatically improved. Was it because she secretly didn't like living in the city anymore and used this as an excuse? Nope. I do not believe so.

As far as your situation, no one can give you an accurate statistic as to whether you or your kids will personally get bitten. Or your husband again for that matter.

I think when you mentioned things like "the schools are shaky" that's what is leading some people to interpret that as you just want to go back to the city and are using this as an excuse. I don't get that sense from your email. What I get is, you have had this horrible thing happen, and now you are re-evaluating everything about the move. Things that you accepted before now loom like bigger factors. You are putting together a story, so to speak, about you and your family's life in that area. I think that is totally normal and not impulsive.

Weigh how much you love the neighborhood and living near your parents. Weigh the financial impact. Make sure you talk to every expert about minimizing risks. Then decide as a family if there is just too much bad associated with staying there, and if it will continue to negatively impact your lives in a way that outweighs the positive.

I mean, sheesh... If I lived at the Shining and managed to escape... and after someone new bought the property, had an exorcism there, updated the decor to something more contemporary and had some of the Game of Thrones dragons protecting the place... I'm still not sure I'd want to go stay there for a "vacation" again....

I haven't read all the posts on this thread yet but I LOVE this PP's take. OP's experience is an emotional response, and just because it's emotional doesn't mean it should (or can) be discounted. If all OP thinks of is trauma when looking out the kitchen window, then that says enough for me. I wouldn't waste time trying to convince myself it's "just emotions," or impetuous, or impulsive, or whatever. I'd change whatever needed to be changed to mitigate the trauma. I've had similar experiences myself (ie something really bad happened somewhere, and the only way to really move beyond it is to just not revisit the place where it happened.) As another PP said, you just get one life. Don't waste time on trying to ignore/discount your emotional response.

Yeah, the emotional response is one thing. But she has to realize that bad things can happen anywhere. With this house it was Lyme disease. With the next house it could be crime. With the next house it could be bad schools.

Op needs to figure out if she has an underlying anxiety disorder that needs to be treated or if this particular house/location was simply a very bad fit for their family. If she is feeling isolated and extreme dread about being snowed in again with 3 small kids, I can't say that I blame her. Sometimes the reality doesn't quite live up to the fantasy....

I'm the PP that you quoted. I really don't think the OP has an anxiety disorder that needs to be treated. (or if she does, I clearly have had several untreated anxiety disorders). This trauma (and yes, Lyme disease can be extremely traumatic) happened at her home, where she should feel safe. Being robbed at gunpoint in her house might be a good comparison, but sending her kids to sub-par schools is not at all an apt comparison IMO.

Sitting in your house worrying everyday about your child being in a bad school could be very traumatic and it could absolutely taint how you feel about where you live and make you not want to live there. I can absolutely see how Lyme disease could be awful but Op was very lucky that her husband could still work throughout the ordeal. There is, unfortunately, no guarantee that illness/injury won't happen again someplace else though.

[Anonymous]

you sound a lot like me OP and I don't know what I would do in your shoes, but I would probably think about moving. Especially since you do not feel especially connected to the place.

We go to Nantucket every summer and I am paranoid of Lyme for myself and my family. We only rent homes in town now because I worry about my children playing in grass and fields.

We are also thinking about permanently moving to a place that has a high Lyme incidence. And I worry about how it might affect our lives. I also want to fix up an old house and have a little land. (and i also wonder if I will feel isolated and miss urban amenities and socialization).

Anyway, i think your worries are very much validated and you sound reasonable to me! You could stay for a designated period of time and see if things get better and if not move. Or if you know you are ready to go then go!

[Anonymous]

If you can afford to leave, then leave. You will encounter problems everywhere, but maybe they won't be as serious for you.

On the other hand, in some ways this sounds like what happens when you've spent years fantasizing about something - and are now confronting the reality of that thing. Instead of the idyllic life you imagined in an old house where you grew up, there's annoying shit to deal with. Including a serious illness. That can happen anywhere. Only you know if you're prone to this sort of thinking.

[Anonymous]

I was going to move to the country (VA countryside) and now after reading this thread I feel like I definitely should not. I'm sorry OP, what a horrible nightmare. And I'm sorry for the compassionless responses you've gotten on here.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't move just yet. You are just emerging on the other side of this experience, the trauma is still fresh. Give yourself a little time to recover and see if you feel better about everything. Maybe plan to spend one more year in the house and sell in Spring 2018 if you still aren't happy? In the upcoming year, your husband can get his health back, you can do some therapy for yourself. (To try to come to grips with/make peace with what you've been through.) You can enjoy extra time with your parents, and do all the tick prevention treatments and see how a summer goes. You may still want to move back, but maybe you'll have a different perspective. As you noted, there are risks and dangers everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was going to move to the country (VA countryside) and now after reading this thread I feel like I definitely should not. I'm sorry OP, what a horrible nightmare. And I'm sorry for the compassionless responses you've gotten on here.

Based just on this thread?

The risk totally depends on location. Our old place backed up to 300 acres of conservation woods, and it was tick central. The dog came down with Lyme (and went lame) twice, and I had a bulls-eye rash that I treated immediately.

Our place now is in a very open area without any significant woods around. Very few deer, and we haven't seen a single tick.

[Anonymous]

My uncle got it in Center City Philly. Went for a run, got bit and by the time he got out of the post run shower had giant bull's eye behind his knee. He got lucky that he knew what it was and was able to get antibiotics right away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't move just yet. You are just emerging on the other side of this experience, the trauma is still fresh. Give yourself a little time to recover and see if you feel better about everything. Maybe plan to spend one more year in the house and sell in Spring 2018 if you still aren't happy? In the upcoming year, your husband can get his health back, you can do some therapy for yourself. (To try to come to grips with/make peace with what you've been through.) You can enjoy extra time with your parents, and do all the tick prevention treatments and see how a summer goes. You may still want to move back, but maybe you'll have a different perspective. As you noted, there are risks and dangers everywhere.

+1. It takes a long time to adjust to a new place, make friends, feel comfortable. I think you might have been struggling to like your new home without the Lyme and the Lyme has obviously made it significantly worse. But I think you might be rash in moving away now, it's only been about 18 months, right? My vote is to set a deadline for yourself (perhaps one more year?) and then do everything in your power to enjoy your house/town now, including therapy. I think it's easy to imagine that moving somewhere else will fix everything (in fact, I do that all the time myself) but I think that is not often the case.