Would our DD feel out of place at private school if our HHI is $250,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No PP I believe the SAHMS ones...it's posters like 11:23 I don't believe.

11:23 post ... oh my - that is me! Ack!

Don't believe me - hmm - for what it is worth, we are actually parents to a kiddo who goes to private school and I did actually attend private school (1st through high school) so none of that is made up. With that said, this is just an opinion based on memories (which can change over time through the filters of the present) so take it as just one data point. YMMV.


Looking at my horrible grammar from that previous post I could see why you would question it - just awful. Embarrassing really. Apparently that part of my education didn't take (although that is my fault). Apologies for the jumbled earlier message. I imagine there is some actual research on how income inequality affects kids in aggregate and that might occur in some public schools as well. If nothing else we can at least ascertain their grammar is all messed up later in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: You are not poor. You are not rich.

Sorry, but OP IS "rich" compared to the rest of the country. You can't just think in terms of the D.C private school bubble. OP, the point is your have to teach your kids that they have a lot and why that is -- e.g., you and your husband worked hard to get good jobs, you or your husband grew up with some advantages, you inherited some money, etc., whatever the case may be. Children should know where income comes from and why you have it. You have to teach them not to be bothered by the fact that others have more. Some people were born on third base, while others don't know the rules of the game. Teach them the truth. Don't dwell on your perceived income inferiority. Have them volunteer and interact with people who are truly impoverished.

Not when it comes down to disposable income. Most people in this income bracket are simply spending more on taxes, childcare and housing. And as we all know, the housing is more expensive in DC and you don't get as much for your money as you do in say, Kansas. Someone making 250k in this area lives a similar life as a family with one spouse working making 70k in Kansas.

This is incorrect. Per cost of living calculators (e.g., http://money.cnn.com/calculator/pf/cost-of-living/ ), 250k in DC is equivalent to 163k in Kansas City, KS. In other words, it's much, much better to make 250k in DC than it is to make 70k in Kansas. As the original Anon noted, this is the DC bubble at work.

[Anonymous]

And to the OP...as noted, you are rich. Your responsibility is to teach your children to a.) be happy with what they have, and b.) have compassion for those who have less.

Which, by the way, is the vast majority of the country (median HHI 55k), the majority of DC (yes, even DC, seeing as the median HHI is 93k, not 250k), and of course, the rest of the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And to the OP...as noted, you are rich. Your responsibility is to teach your children to a.) be happy with what they have, and b.) have compassion for those who have less.

Which, by the way, is the vast majority of the country (median HHI 55k), the majority of DC (yes, even DC, seeing as the median HHI is 93k, not 250k), and of course, the rest of the world.

Yeah, but tangential to OP's question.

[Anonymous]

I find these threads interesting as well. And have to agree with the writer who said why not talk frankly about your financial situation. All children have insecurities growing up, don't let yours exacerbate hers. Teach her not to judge other people's wealth. If she wants to have more money use her education to make more. We are all here for the opportunity education provides not to compare home.

[Anonymous]

OP, it will depend on the privare school you choose. National Cathedral, probably more challenging. WIS, Maret, Sidwell or GDS probably not so much.

[Anonymous]

It's a shot to the ego. I'm at $180k and feel poor. That's insane to me. But whatever, it's not about me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are considering private school for our two DD starting in 6th grade, but worry that she'll feel out of place because our HHI is $250,000.

(The grandparents -- who lived modestly but are now doing well thanks to their investments -- would fund the tuition.)

DH and I are both attorneys from top public universities, and I work part-time.

At my workplace, I know quite a few people who send their kids to private school. They seem to have quite a bit more money than we do.

For us, because we're happy with our public schools in Bethesda, it is not essential to move to private, but we think it would be a great opportunity for our daughters.

Our cards are Hondas (2007 and 2003), and our vacations are pretty average. Our daughter loves to host school friends at our house for playdates and sleepovers, but that's because most of our neighbors have small Cape Cods like we do. I'm worried that, if her peers had substantially nicer houses, she might feel reluctant to invite them over. And the house does not have a lot of room for entertaining anyway. I worry that my DDs might not make a lot of friends if they are not willing to reciprocate with playdates/sleepovers, etc.

I welcome the thoughts of anyone who is in this situation, or whose child may have a friend in this situation. Thank you.

If she hangs out with the financial aid kids she'll be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it will depend on the privare school you choose. National Cathedral, probably more challenging. WIS, Maret, Sidwell or GDS probably not so much.

You don't know anybody at these other schools, apparently. It's not like the super-high incomes or wealth all choose NCS. These high-rollers exist in every school.

[Anonymous]

If it were truly "education" that you care
About, your kid would be in. High performing public. Private school parents care more About the "experience" which is code for "rubbing shoulders with rich people to learn their values and customs." Not hard working immigrant values. God forbid one of your children major in accounting or become a podiatrist! Or (gasp!) live in a neighborhood that they can afford without parental help on the down payment. (Aka, Springfield....) Or (double gasp!) consider Dewey Beach a "vacation." Please stop talking about how you all are scrimping and saving, driving "Toyotas" because you CARE ABOUT EDUCATION. You care about being a part of a socio-economic self-congratulating community who thinks that saying stupid things like that differentiates them from the schlubs of the bugeouise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it were truly "education" that you care
About, your kid would be in. High performing public. Private school parents care more About the "experience" which is code for "rubbing shoulders with rich people to learn their values and customs." Not hard working immigrant values. God forbid one of your children major in accounting or become a podiatrist! Or (gasp!) live in a neighborhood that they can afford without parental help on the down payment. (Aka, Springfield....) Or (double gasp!) consider Dewey Beach a "vacation." Please stop talking about how you all are scrimping and saving, driving "Toyotas" because you CARE ABOUT EDUCATION. You care about being a part of a socio-economic self-congratulating community who thinks that saying stupid things like that differentiates them from the schlubs of the bugeouise.

I usually provide a lot of leeway as far as grammar on a message board, but this is horrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it were truly "education" that you care
About, your kid would be in. High performing public. Private school parents care more About the "experience" which is code for "rubbing shoulders with rich people to learn their values and customs." Not hard working immigrant values. God forbid one of your children major in accounting or become a podiatrist! Or (gasp!) live in a neighborhood that they can afford without parental help on the down payment. (Aka, Springfield....) Or (double gasp!) consider Dewey Beach a "vacation." Please stop talking about how you all are scrimping and saving, driving "Toyotas" because you CARE ABOUT EDUCATION. You care about being a part of a socio-economic self-congratulating community who thinks that saying stupid things like that differentiates them from the schlubs of the bugeouise.

Maybe they just don't want to be around people as judgmental and resentful as you seem to be?

[Anonymous]

Op are you still around? Not everyone will be wealthy in a huge way. But isnt that kind of what life is like after school? You work and live with people of greater economic diversity?

There has to be enough going on academically and otherwise that this is not the main focus at school. And if it is the main focus, its very much the wrong school.

[Anonymous]

Not sure if you are still reading, OP. But we have had our kids in both public and private. Honestly, we felt like the families at our public school were considerably wealthier than most of those at our private. It was never an issue for our kids in public or private school. We are not wealthy. HHI of about $200,000.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if you are still reading, OP. But we have had our kids in both public and private. Honestly, we felt like the families at our public school were considerably wealthier than most of those at our private. It was never an issue for our kids in public or private school. We are not wealthy. HHI of about $200,000.

Not as wealthy as others, but more wealthy than most, even in DC. You guys are top 6%ers...only slightly lower than OP (to 4%ers).