Would our DD feel out of place at private school if our HHI is $250,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if you are still reading, OP. But we have had our kids in both public and private. Honestly, we felt like the families at our public school were considerably wealthier than most of those at our private. It was never an issue for our kids in public or private school. We are not wealthy. HHI of about $200,000.

Not as wealthy as others, but more wealthy than most, even in DC. You guys are top 6%ers...only slightly lower than OP (to 4%ers).

Please post the link that gives you this information (percentile based on incone). Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if you are still reading, OP. But we have had our kids in both public and private. Honestly, we felt like the families at our public school were considerably wealthier than most of those at our private. It was never an issue for our kids in public or private school. We are not wealthy. HHI of about $200,000.

Not as wealthy as others, but more wealthy than most, even in DC. You guys are top 6%ers...only slightly lower than OP (to 4%ers).

Please post the link that gives you this information (percentile based on incone). Thanks.

No prob. http://money.cnn.com/calculator/pf/income-rank/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if you are still reading, OP. But we have had our kids in both public and private. Honestly, we felt like the families at our public school were considerably wealthier than most of those at our private. It was never an issue for our kids in public or private school. We are not wealthy. HHI of about $200,000.

Not as wealthy as others, but more wealthy than most, even in DC. You guys are top 6%ers...only slightly lower than OP (to 4%ers).

Please post the link that gives you this information (percentile based on incone). Thanks.

No prob. http://money.cnn.com/calculator/pf/income-rank/

It's really wealth that matters though, not income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if you are still reading, OP. But we have had our kids in both public and private. Honestly, we felt like the families at our public school were considerably wealthier than most of those at our private. It was never an issue for our kids in public or private school. We are not wealthy. HHI of about $200,000.

Not as wealthy as others, but more wealthy than most, even in DC. You guys are top 6%ers...only slightly lower than OP (to 4%ers).

Please post the link that gives you this information (percentile based on incone). Thanks.

No prob. http://money.cnn.com/calculator/pf/income-rank/

It's really wealth that matters though, not income.

Between a lot of wealth, a lot of income, or very little of either, I'd choose one of the first two; arguing one matters and the other doesn't is splitting hairs. A lot of either will still put you ahead of most.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if you are still reading, OP. But we have had our kids in both public and private. Honestly, we felt like the families at our public school were considerably wealthier than most of those at our private. It was never an issue for our kids in public or private school. We are not wealthy. HHI of about $200,000.

Not as wealthy as others, but more wealthy than most, even in DC. You guys are top 6%ers...only slightly lower than OP (to 4%ers).

Please post the link that gives you this information (percentile based on incone). Thanks.

No prob. http://money.cnn.com/calculator/pf/income-rank/

It's really wealth that matters though, not income.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if you are still reading, OP. But we have had our kids in both public and private. Honestly, we felt like the families at our public school were considerably wealthier than most of those at our private. It was never an issue for our kids in public or private school. We are not wealthy. HHI of about $200,000.

Not as wealthy as others, but more wealthy than most, even in DC. You guys are top 6%ers...only slightly lower than OP (to 4%ers).

Please post the link that gives you this information (percentile based on incone). Thanks.

No prob. http://money.cnn.com/calculator/pf/income-rank/

It's really wealth that matters though, not income.

Between a lot of wealth, a lot of income, or very little of either, I'd choose one of the first two; saying one matters and the other doesn't is splitting hairs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone who feels inadequate with a 250K HHI needs to pay attention to some of the people with real problems in this world and get a life.

$250,000 is a lot in the real world, but it's not much to spend $40,000 a year on a child's education. I can understand why the OP feels the way she does.

[Anonymous]

Except that she's not spending it. Her parents are paying for her kids education.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone who feels inadequate with a 250K HHI needs to pay attention to some of the people with real problems in this world and get a life.

$250,000 is a lot in the real world, but it's not much to spend $40,000 a year on a child's education. I can understand why the OP feels the way she does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And to the OP...as noted, you are rich. Your responsibility is to teach your children to a.) be happy with what they have, and b.) have compassion for those who have less.

Which, by the way, is the vast majority of the country (median HHI 55k), the majority of DC (yes, even DC, seeing as the median HHI is 93k, not 250k), and of course, the rest of the world.

^^ This!

[Anonymous]

OP. You are insufferable, but believe me, it's not at all because you make a lot less money than me and DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just let the thread die instead of 6 pages of bashing the OP.

Most prescient post. This is the sixth post in the entire thread. The rest of you are either so nasty or insecure that you needed to keep spewing venom.

[Anonymous]

This post is really interesting. My husband and I don't have children yet, but my siblings and I went to a private school growing up. My parents are very successful, but we grew up relaively modestly. I grew up in a modest house that badly needed to be renovated, and we took fun but not extravagant vacations (I've never been to Europe with my parents...we rented condos outside of Disney world when tickets were NOT $100/day, and often skied in Vermont or out west, again -never at five star hotels) Growing up, I wished that my parents would drive the fancy cars, plan the fancy vacations and build the tony houses that many of my friends had. As a double income household with no children, my husband and I now have some of these luxuries, and you realize that they are just things. It turned out that some of my friends parents with the fancy cars and houses lived beyond their means and now their children have student debt, and some of the other parents are on hard times, approaching retirement and still supporting their now-adult children who never learned the value of money and didn't pursue the professional degrees their parents had but aspire to the same life. In retrospect, i am thankful that my parents priotized our family, our education, their savings, and charity, over flashy material things. Hopefully your children will too. Just my experience.

[Anonymous]

The OP asked a perfectly valid question, and DCUM responded by proving what a raging band of assholes frequent this board.

[Anonymous]

Honestly it depends on the school and on the class. In certain schools if you have a class that has a very wealthy group of parents where many parents belong to the same country club, you may have issues. I would look at the class in particular that you are applying to at whichever school you are considering. It makes a difference. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if you are still reading, OP. But we have had our kids in both public and private. Honestly, we felt like the families at our public school were considerably wealthier than most of those at our private. It was never an issue for our kids in public or private school. We are not wealthy. HHI of about $200,000.

Not as wealthy as others, but more wealthy than most, even in DC. You guys are top 6%ers...only slightly lower than OP (to 4%ers).

Please post the link that gives you this information (percentile based on incone). Thanks.

No prob. http://money.cnn.com/calculator/pf/income-rank/

Per your link, OP is the top 6% nationwide. That definitely makes her well off by national standards.

But she's talking about feeling out of place at an elite DC private school, not vis-a-vis the rest of the country.
1. MD and VA suburbs are always at the top of the wealthiest localities lists.
2. This is a pool of private school families, many or most of whom are full pay and then contribute to the annual fund.

Maybe OP should just count her blessings and decide whether $40k is worth it. Although as another PP pointed out, $40k is actually a lot of money for someone at this income, in this area, with these housing prices (and .

FWIW we had a combined HHI of about $250k and felt less well off than many others at our respected DC-area private, in terms of our house, our vacations, and the fact that we both worked. When the kids switched to public magnets we were among the richest and our shabby house (cosmetic upgrades were deferred to pay for private) was suddenly the object of admiration and my kids were better-travelled than most.

It's a personal decision, but feeling relatively rich or poor shouldn't be a part of it. OP needs to decide whether $40k buys that much better education than her Bethesda public, whth where her kid would thrive.

[Anonymous]

Do a lot of the private school kids live in the neighborhood? Presumably real estate prices in your area are so high because you're paying to be in a great school district. If you're not using the schools you could probably get more for your money elsewhere- not at all saying that you should move to buy a bigger house just to keep up with the Joneses if you're happy where you are- but just making the point (that others have also made here) that amazing school districts with expensive homes usually draw families just as wealthy as private school fams. In fact, the public school families could be even flashier because they aren't spending tens of thousands of dollars each year on tuition. Maybe your daughters will find the same level of wealth in private as they do in public- richer than some, poorer than others.