Uncomfortable religious situations you were forced into

[Anonymous]

We used to go to my UU uncle's house for a holiday dinner and he would always have a reading for the winter solstice. I was so traumatized by it. Even worse, afterwards he would ask me if I was depressed from the short days and then would say "the equinox will be here soon!"

It still creeps me out 20 years later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And to this day in your grown up skin you still feel uncomfortable about the situation ?

You need a hobby. It's not like you were tortured.

+1

This family was doing you, and/or your mom, a FAVOR, OP. Are you so ungracious for their hospitality that this is what you remember?

Wow. Just Wow. I was a teenager. There were no diapers to change and we went to the same school and soccer practice (so its not like they had to go out of their way). So because they were doing me a "favor" its ok that they forced me to go to their church and bible study even after I said I was uncomfortable?

So you were fine accepting their hospitality in the form of meals, lodging and security for 3 days but when they tried to "treat you like family," you decide that you prefer the motel method? Yes, op, they had every right to expect that you would participate in family activities, I assume with their daughter who was your friend. If you or your mother had a problem with it, you should have made other arrangements. The fact that you still remember every detail so many years later says something about you, not them. And it's not positive.

OMG give it a rest!! PP was a teenager whose PARENTS arranged for her to stay with these people, likely without knowing the extent of their religiousness. Are you so dense that you can't understand this? PP and parents didn't know until it was too late-she was there and parents had left town. I applaud PP for being mature enough to tell her hosts that she was uncomfortable. That's more than I would have done. You have serious issues lady (or man).

Yes +10000 to this. A lot of them seem to have serious issues tbh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We used to go to my UU uncle's house for a holiday dinner and he would always have a reading for the winter solstice. I was so traumatized by it. Even worse, afterwards he would ask me if I was depressed from the short days and then would say "the equinox will be here soon!"

It still creeps me out 20 years later.

What about that is even the slightest bit creepy? We don't attend a UU church, but I've been to their services many times. There is nothing uncomfortable about anything they believe. Unless you have a problem with Science.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We used to go to my UU uncle's house for a holiday dinner and he would always have a reading for the winter solstice. I was so traumatized by it. Even worse, afterwards he would ask me if I was depressed from the short days and then would say "the equinox will be here soon!"

It still creeps me out 20 years later.

What about that is even the slightest bit creepy? We don't attend a UU church, but I've been to their services many times. There is nothing uncomfortable about anything they believe. Unless you have a problem with Science.

I'm 99% sure that PP you're replying to was a troll. The thread started off with some very interesting stories, and then the trolls got involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We used to go to my UU uncle's house for a holiday dinner and he would always have a reading for the winter solstice. I was so traumatized by it. Even worse, afterwards he would ask me if I was depressed from the short days and then would say "the equinox will be here soon!"

It still creeps me out 20 years later.

the humanity!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And to this day in your grown up skin you still feel uncomfortable about the situation ?

You need a hobby. It's not like you were tortured.

+1

This family was doing you, and/or your mom, a FAVOR, OP. Are you so ungracious for their hospitality that this is what you remember?

Wow. Just Wow. I was a teenager. There were no diapers to change and we went to the same school and soccer practice (so its not like they had to go out of their way). So because they were doing me a "favor" its ok that they forced me to go to their church and bible study even after I said I was uncomfortable?

So you were fine accepting their hospitality in the form of meals, lodging and security for 3 days but when they tried to "treat you like family," you decide that you prefer the motel method? Yes, op, they had every right to expect that you would participate in family activities, I assume with their daughter who was your friend. If you or your mother had a problem with it, you should have made other arrangements. The fact that you still remember every detail so many years later says something about you, not them. And it's not positive.

OMG give it a rest!! PP was a teenager whose PARENTS arranged for her to stay with these people, likely without knowing the extent of their religiousness. Are you so dense that you can't understand this? PP and parents didn't know until it was too late-she was there and parents had left town. I applaud PP for being mature enough to tell her hosts that she was uncomfortable. That's more than I would have done. You have serious issues lady (or man).

No no no no no, dear. You didn't read carefully. OP is the child of a SINGLE MOTHER. There are no PARENTS involved. It was mama -- alone -- who was working and needed childcare. (Perhaps that was part of the problem?) So, like many of us do when we're desperate, she relied on the help of these friends of her daughters. What part of that is being dense on my part? You, clearly, have your own issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm 99% sure that PP you're replying to was a troll. The thread started off with some very interesting stories, and then the trolls got involved.

The story is 100% true but I wasn't actually "creeped out" by it. I just can't believe the purse clutching on here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm 99% sure that PP you're replying to was a troll. The thread started off with some very interesting stories, and then the trolls got involved.

The story is 100% true but I wasn't actually "creeped out" by it. I just can't believe the purse clutching on here.

If the story was true and it had no effect on you, then you had no business posting it in the thread. You did, and you lied and said it "creeped" you out in order to mock stories in this thread that honestly have no resemblance to yours.

Therefore yes, you're a troll.

[Anonymous]

No no no no no, dear. You didn't read carefully. OP is the child of a SINGLE MOTHER. There are no PARENTS involved. It was mama -- alone -- who was working and needed childcare. (Perhaps that was part of the problem?) So, like many of us do when we're desperate, she relied on the help of these friends of her daughters. What part of that is being dense on my part? You, clearly, have your own issues.

From victim-shaming to single-mom-shaming. Just wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Which part of "why did her mother send her over there for three days in the first place" is such an alien language to such militant anti-religious people?

This is hysterical.

Having someone's kid in your house does not give you the right to force your religion on them, period. A mom should be able to trust a family friend to watch her kid for a few days without having to explicitly say, "Don't try to force your religion on my kid, please. These are basic rules of polite society, like keeping a roll of toilet paper in the bathroom, or washing your hands before a meal, or remembering to do your laundry.

If you are a Christian family who is doing a favor by hosting a non-Christian kid, and if the kid looks like he's able to be at home alone for 2 hours a day (like the PP, a teenager, was clearly capable of) then give him a cheery good morning on Sunday, show him where the cereal is, tell him not to open the door for strangers, and whisk your Christian family off to church. Your guest can stay at home.

Because that is a basic expectation of polite, secular society. You're welcome.

I'm Jewish, and when my brother needed surgery while my dad was traveling, my mom stayed with my brother in the hospital and shipped me two blocks away to a neighbor who is Catholic and has two daughters. They prayed at each meal, thanking Jesus for it. I sat quietly. The second night the dad asked me, "Jess, is there a jewish prayer to say before a meal?" and I thought for a second. "There IS!" And they all smiled and we all joined hands again even though that's not how jews pray, and I stumbled through the Hebrew prayer you say before eating, and they all said Amen. So I started saying Amen after their jesus prayer, even though I wouldn't pray to Jesus. Come Friday after school, the mom asked me "Do you need to go to temple tonight? Because I can send you with Rachel?" and I told her no, I could skip it, and she said "And I think we'll skip church on Sunday morning as well."

Two months later they invited me over to come decorate the Christmas tree. I invited them over to do the first night of Hanukah candles with us.

Four months later at the end of our Passover seder my mother sent me two blocks to their house with all our leftover hard-boiled eggs for them to paint for Easter. I feel like THIS is how a friendship between two religions should go.

This is absolutely beautiful. I am actually getting tears from your story. I love it. And totally agree THIS IS HOW IT SHOULD BE. Wouldn't it be perfect world?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was the only non-Jew in a book club. Most of the women were lovely and I looked forward to the club each month. There was lots of talk about holidays and Jewish summer camps and so on, but I found it interesting. One woman, the only one who kept kosher, was fairly hostile and clearly wanted me out. She got her wish.

Some Jewish women are very clannish and they get really prickly when their most eligible Jewish bachelors date and marry non-Jewish women. I have known more than a few like this. But maybe this can be said of people in all religions.

Not really. Jewish people seem to be more insular than others, at least in my experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

No no no no no, dear. You didn't read carefully. OP is the child of a SINGLE MOTHER. There are no PARENTS involved. It was mama -- alone -- who was working and needed childcare. (Perhaps that was part of the problem?) So, like many of us do when we're desperate, she relied on the help of these friends of her daughters. What part of that is being dense on my part? You, clearly, have your own issues.

From victim-shaming to single-mom-shaming. Just wow.

VICTIM-shaming?!?!? LOL. OP was NOT a victim of anything. Get a grip, lady!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And to this day in your grown up skin you still feel uncomfortable about the situation ?

You need a hobby. It's not like you were tortured.

+1

This family was doing you, and/or your mom, a FAVOR, OP. Are you so ungracious for their hospitality that this is what you remember?

Wow. Just Wow. I was a teenager. There were no diapers to change and we went to the same school and soccer practice (so its not like they had to go out of their way). So because they were doing me a "favor" its ok that they forced me to go to their church and bible study even after I said I was uncomfortable?

So you were fine accepting their hospitality in the form of meals, lodging and security for 3 days but when they tried to "treat you like family," you decide that you prefer the motel method? Yes, op, they had every right to expect that you would participate in family activities, I assume with their daughter who was your friend. If you or your mother had a problem with it, you should have made other arrangements. The fact that you still remember every detail so many years later says something about you, not them. And it's not positive.

OMG give it a rest!! PP was a teenager whose PARENTS arranged for her to stay with these people, likely without knowing the extent of their religiousness. Are you so dense that you can't understand this? PP and parents didn't know until it was too late-she was there and parents had left town. I applaud PP for being mature enough to tell her hosts that she was uncomfortable. That's more than I would have done. You have serious issues lady (or man).

Different PP here.

What the hell is wrong with you??? 99% sure you don't know OP, yet you're getting all riled up with multiple posters about how you're so sure OP was traumatized. And you're insulting everybody in the process, like a pre-teen arguing. So weird. You're the one with issues.

I'm with PPs who think OP's mom dropped her with these people because she trusted them. These people probably felt they had a duty to haul OP along, and we don't even know their thinking and whether they wanted the trouble of doing it (in addition to serving and supervising OP for 3 days). Attending someone else's religious service isn't traumatizing or uncomfortable unless you're completely self-centered or very insecure. Or, I guess, you're PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

No no no no no, dear. You didn't read carefully. OP is the child of a SINGLE MOTHER. There are no PARENTS involved. It was mama -- alone -- who was working and needed childcare. (Perhaps that was part of the problem?) So, like many of us do when we're desperate, she relied on the help of these friends of her daughters. What part of that is being dense on my part? You, clearly, have your own issues.

From victim-shaming to single-mom-shaming. Just wow.

VICTIM-shaming?!?!? LOL. OP was NOT a victim of anything. Get a grip, lady!

+1. The poster "defending" OP has clearly lost all sense of perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

No no no no no, dear. You didn't read carefully. OP is the child of a SINGLE MOTHER. There are no PARENTS involved. It was mama -- alone -- who was working and needed childcare. (Perhaps that was part of the problem?) So, like many of us do when we're desperate, she relied on the help of these friends of her daughters. What part of that is being dense on my part? You, clearly, have your own issues.

From victim-shaming to single-mom-shaming. Just wow.

VICTIM-shaming?!?!? LOL. OP was NOT a victim of anything. Get a grip, lady!

+1. The poster "defending" OP has clearly lost all sense of perspective.

Lol, the PP who thinks shaming a single mom ("Perhaps that was part of the problem?" - are you fucking kidding me?) is the one who has lost perspective here. There are a whole bunch of angry, defensive folks who took PP's thread into a whole new context because beating up a straw man is a lot easier than having a normal discussion about boundary-pushing in religious situations. In other words, typical DCUM.