Elaine or Elyse ? Plus name poaching?

[Anonymous]

I'm the pp: I thought that if your niece had the name you like wouldn't your child be cousins? Anyway, I would just do what you want without worrying about what DCUM thinks (including mine) It's your baby!

Again Congratulations!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Complete troll...stealing TWO ugly names from her "bitch sister".

Funny though.

IF not a bitch

What would you call someone who told you that you should have never been born?

If not a bitch what would you call someone who mad your college graduation all about them -because they didn't graduate, and you were expected to downplay your achievements so not to upset them.

What would you call someone who is only nice to you when you are having a hard time if not a bitch?

You don't have to believe it, but I still remember writing the story and using Ask Jeeves to find names for my character.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the pp: I thought that if your niece had the name you like wouldn't your child be cousins? Anyway, I would just do what you want without worrying about what DCUM thinks (including mine) It's your baby!

Again Congratulations!

They would be cousins and have the same name, but I'm not naming my daughter after my niece. Though I guess people could think that. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

I think when your daughter is old enough, she'll always be a little embarrassed that you gave her her cousin's name. Especially if she knows you don't have a great relationship with her cousin's mom, she'll know it's weird and unfortunately she'll be the one who has to live with it the most. Aside from everything else about this discussion, I think you should really reconsider for your daughter's sake. I would be sort of mortified, and really, what middle schooler doesn't already have enough to be insecure about? Why add to it with some major family weirdness?

[Anonymous]

What does your husband think about all of this? Would he be on board with naming your DD Margaux? If so, and it's the name you love, just do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Margaret
Eliza
Rachel
Petra
Eileen
Ghislaine
Adair
Paulette
Myrna
Carolyn
Noor
Adelaide
Diana

Here is a list off the top of my head of names that have no theme. You do not need therapy, but you do need some perspective. You do not like either of these names, you want to piss off your sister. And I get that, I have a problematic sister relationship, too. But all you are doing by obsessing over her daughter's name is strengthening the problems. So let go. You can't use either name.

Nah, she hates her sister so much that she can't even focus on the kid she is carrying and how she deserves better than to be a poor man's version of her cousin. That is batshit crazy. OP needs help. I bet her sister isn't even thinking of her. Nutty obsessions like OP's are always one sided. Sad.

OP here if you think that you are probably the bitch older sister. You and all the other nasty bitches in this thread.

We're not "nasty bitches," OP. We're telling you, from outside the sibling relationship, that you cannot use both names. That will look to everyone, but especially your "bitch older sister," like you are a complete nut. You and DH go to the library, get the Baby Name Wizard, both make lists and figure out two names you can both like/let grow on you.

I don't want a name that will "grow on me" I want a name I love for my daughter.
Why is that so hard for you to understand?

I consider calling someone you don't know a crazy bitch just because you don't like or understand their perspective to be nasty bitch behavior.

Well, I didn't call you a crazy bitch, OP, but you did call me a nasty bitch.

Again, you get a name book from the library, and you go through every entry, finding ones you kind of like. In this instance, DH kind of has to suck it up and let a name grow on him. God help you if your tastes really haven't matured since you were ten (my dream names at around that age were Damaris and Payne Riordon.). DH and I joke that our third better not be another boy because we used the four boy names we like on our first two, but we'll find two suitable names if #3 is a he. And what are you going to name your second if she's a girl? Baby Girl Lastname, since you used the only two good girl names in all the world on your first? Poor girl #2!

[Anonymous]

LOL at the notion that there are no other acceptable names in the world except the ones your sister has given her child. It's a little high on the cray meter, from an objective perspective, notwithstanding stories about your 10 year old self.

[Anonymous]

holy shitballs

just do whatever the fuck you want, woman, because you obviously didn't come here looking for advice you didn't want to hear

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think when your daughter is old enough, she'll always be a little embarrassed that you gave her her cousin's name. Especially if she knows you don't have a great relationship with her cousin's mom, she'll know it's weird and unfortunately she'll be the one who has to live with it the most. Aside from everything else about this discussion, I think you should really reconsider for your daughter's sake. I would be sort of mortified, and really, what middle schooler doesn't already have enough to be insecure about? Why add to it with some major family weirdness?

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Complete troll...stealing TWO ugly names from her "bitch sister".

Funny though.

IF not a bitch

What would you call someone who told you that you should have never been born?

If not a bitch what would you call someone who mad your college graduation all about them -because they didn't graduate, and you were expected to downplay your achievements so not to upset them.

What would you call someone who is only nice to you when you are having a hard time if not a bitch?

You don't have to believe it, but I still remember writing the story and using Ask Jeeves to find names for my character.

Whoa. So clearly the issues with your sister run deep. Question: Given the animosity here, how often do you actually see your sister and your niece? Hopefully not much, if at all. And if that's the case, name your kid whatever you want. These cousins won't grow up together anyway. The damage is already done to the relationship with your sister. Might as well go with the name you love. I hope you still have the story you wrote at age 10. Fun story and fun gift to give your little Margaux one day.

[Anonymous]

The more you talk, OP, the better your sister looks. Even if she gave her daughter a hilariously pretentious name.

[Anonymous]

Yikes. It looks even worse if you have that much hostility towards your sister (whether it's justified hostility or not, it doesn't matter). You aren't "spiting" her by re-using her daughter's name for your own child - you just look petty and a little pitiful and it WILL be embarrassing for your daughter when she is older. I'm not saying this to be mean at all, just to share an outsider perspective based on the information we have here - YOU are the one who comes out of this looking crazy and bad, not your sister. If you don't care about that at all, or how your daughter will perceive this situation when she is older (without being able to change it, because SHE is stuck with the recycled name and the big sign on her forehead that her mom has major issues), then go for it. But do it with your eyes wide open, it makes you look nuts and it will be hard for your daughter when she is older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yikes. It looks even worse if you have that much hostility towards your sister (whether it's justified hostility or not, it doesn't matter). You aren't "spiting" her by re-using her daughter's name for your own child - you just look petty and a little pitiful and it WILL be embarrassing for your daughter when she is older. I'm not saying this to be mean at all, just to share an outsider perspective based on the information we have here - YOU are the one who comes out of this looking crazy and bad, not your sister. If you don't care about that at all, or how your daughter will perceive this situation when she is older (without being able to change it, because SHE is stuck with the recycled name and the big sign on her forehead that her mom has major issues), then go for it. But do it with your eyes wide open, it makes you look nuts and it will be hard for your daughter when she is older.

+1 to all of this.

I have a hard time believing your husband is okay with this.

[Anonymous]

OP,

I'm sorry so many people are mean to you. It's a reflection of their immaturity. As I said in the other thread name poaching is a Hangul of the spoiled and entitled who never grew up.

Cousins having the same or similar name is not unusual and in many families not a big deal.

If you and your husband love the name you should use it.

Your baby girl deserves a name you both love.

What is it about the names you love? Do you like French sounding names? Do you like the meaning?

[Anonymous]

I know an Elise with a daughter named Margeux. She is completely insufferable. With that being said, those names sound like a perfect fit for you, OP!