What is one thing your SO doesn't know about you?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:The fact that I'm constantly trying to figure out how much I'd get in a divorce settlement.


Not as much as you think. I have been hiding assets.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How many men I've slept with.


I have it pretty much figured out, not that I have spent a lot of time thinking about it. In all honestly, I love you and it doesn't concern me in the least.


Even though many of them were better lovers, more creative and less inhibited, and that I think of them when we're together?


If you are unable to communicate what your husband needs to do to be "better" / "more creative" / "less inhibited" then that's your fault, not his.


I communicated, all right, and was shut down. He's a repressed Catholic and it's missionary or nothing else, practically. He told me he was more open when we were dating, and pretended to be, somewhat. After the wedding, his true colors came out.


I think I married your husband.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Guy here. She would freak if she knew I had sex with other men before I met her. Consider myself bisexual. Monogamous with no desire to get back together with men. Admittedly, if the marriage ended, I would probably do it again.


This is pretty much my biggest fear. It would be instant separation.


Same here...


Uhh i thought most of you were pro gay on here?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Guy here. She would freak if she knew I had sex with other men before I met her. Consider myself bisexual. Monogamous with no desire to get back together with men. Admittedly, if the marriage ended, I would probably do it again.


This is pretty much my biggest fear. It would be instant separation.


Same here...


Uhh i thought most of you were pro gay on here?


Acceptance of others being gay is much different than being married to someone who is secretly bisexual.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Guy here. She would freak if she knew I had sex with other men before I met her. Consider myself bisexual. Monogamous with no desire to get back together with men. Admittedly, if the marriage ended, I would probably do it again.


This is pretty much my biggest fear. It would be instant separation.


Same here...


Uhh i thought most of you were pro gay on here?


Acceptance of others being gay is much different than being married to someone who is secretly bisexual.


But usually if it's another woman couples get marriage therapy. What difference does it make if they are attracted to men too if they are truly pro gay and accepting of any sexuality?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Guy here. She would freak if she knew I had sex with other men before I met her. Consider myself bisexual. Monogamous with no desire to get back together with men. Admittedly, if the marriage ended, I would probably do it again.


This is pretty much my biggest fear. It would be instant separation.


Same here...


Uhh i thought most of you were pro gay on here?


Acceptance of others being gay is much different than being married to someone who is secretly bisexual.


But usually if it's another woman couples get marriage therapy. What difference does it make if they are attracted to men too if they are truly pro gay and accepting of any sexuality?


Simple. I dont want my life partner desiring something that I can never offer.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Guy here. She would freak if she knew I had sex with other men before I met her. Consider myself bisexual. Monogamous with no desire to get back together with men. Admittedly, if the marriage ended, I would probably do it again.


This is pretty much my biggest fear. It would be instant separation.


Same here...


Uhh i thought most of you were pro gay on here?


Yeah I don't want MY husband to be gay either
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Guy here. She would freak if she knew I had sex with other men before I met her. Consider myself bisexual. Monogamous with no desire to get back together with men. Admittedly, if the marriage ended, I would probably do it again.


This is pretty much my biggest fear. It would be instant separation.


Same here...


This?!?! Is your biggest fear? I don't know. I have many things I'd be more worried about. DH cheating with anyone first. I don't care what happened in the past. I care about now and how I am being treated. I'd also fear about DH doing something shady with money or illegal in the white collar sense or worse.

I couldn't care whether he is bisexual or not. Monogamy is the most important to me. That said, I actually believe bisexuals exist and am not a homophobe so there's that.


I'd much rather support DH through a trial than know he had another man's penis up his ass. I have lots of gay friends and would never want a partner in common with them.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Guy here. She would freak if she knew I had sex with other men before I met her. Consider myself bisexual. Monogamous with no desire to get back together with men. Admittedly, if the marriage ended, I would probably do it again.


This is pretty much my biggest fear. It would be instant separation.


Same here...


Does the fact that you feel you have to hide this affect your relationship with your wife?
Why did you decide to marry someone who will freak if she know this about you?



Because bisexual men are often sociopaths who like to control and manipulate others. I am not sure what it is about having sex with both genders that make bisexual men so sick, but I have found them to be nasty pieces of work.
Anonymous
That I am nowhere near as confident as I appear. Have enough insecurities to a sink a ship, and even though I had significant relationships before she came along, have always felt anxious around women.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Guy here. She would freak if she knew I had sex with other men before I met her. Consider myself bisexual. Monogamous with no desire to get back together with men. Admittedly, if the marriage ended, I would probably do it again.


This is pretty much my biggest fear. It would be instant separation.


Same here...


Uhh i thought most of you were pro gay on here?


Gays hate Bi's as much or more than Straights do.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Guy here. She would freak if she knew I had sex with other men before I met her. Consider myself bisexual. Monogamous with no desire to get back together with men. Admittedly, if the marriage ended, I would probably do it again.


This is pretty much my biggest fear. It would be instant separation.


Same here...


Uhh i thought most of you were pro gay on here?


Gays hate Bi's as much or more than Straights do.


Why?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DW does not know the depths of my despair while in grad school. I tried to kill myself twice; first time, was the night the first gulf war began (and I stopped, because I wanted to watch it unfold); second time I was almost successful and spent a month in the psych ward. Thanks to a good therapist, a lot of hard work, and zoloft, I am ok now.

DW does not know some of my behavior then, including paying for sex, etc.


Glad you are doing better! I'm a DW who contemplated suicide twice in my 20's- even downing a bottle of meds at one point. I'm 38 now and no where near as desperate as I once was (Thank God! !)
DH doesn't know and I don't plan on ever telling him.


So if/when your children inherit your propensity for mental illness, what then?
Anonymous
I have a personal email address he is not aware of. He doesn't know how much I spent on my purse. He doesn't know that once or twice a month, I come home at lunch to self pleasure. Those are the first things that come to mind.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How many men I've slept with.


I have it pretty much figured out, not that I have spent a lot of time thinking about it. In all honestly, I love you and it doesn't concern me in the least.


Even though many of them were better lovers, more creative and less inhibited, and that I think of them when we're together?


If you are unable to communicate what your husband needs to do to be "better" / "more creative" / "less inhibited" then that's your fault, not his.


I communicated, all right, and was shut down. He's a repressed Catholic and it's missionary or nothing else, practically. He told me he was more open when we were dating, and pretended to be, somewhat. After the wedding, his true colors came out.


I think I married your husband.


Sorry for you, and for me.
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