Ethics of adoption

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You keep saying "more support". What exactly do you want? We already have WIC, food stamps, Head Start, etc. There are millions of single moms out there, far more than in previous decades. Some of these mothers are using the resources I just listed, and some have sufficient financial means to support themselves. That seems to indicate that there are plenty of women who feel that raising the child themselves is a viable option.

But we can just leave open a blank check. I have a responsibility to myself, my family, and the society. That means I utilize the resources that are available to me (roads, public schools, etc.) but that doesn't mean I get whatever I want, just because I want it. I live a comfortable middle class lifestyle. I would not be able to do that if I decided to have 8 kids, so I don't.

Not the PP, but I would say:

1. Long-term paid parental leave (say, 12 months after a child is born)
2. High-quality, affordable child care until kids are school age
3. Accessible, affordable mental health care, including better options to treat substance abuse & addiction

Those three things would probably go a long way toward enabling women in precarious situations to parent their kids. As an added benefit, they would help a TON of people who aren't pregnant or poor or even female.

Personal responsibility. It is amazing how generations in the past managed to raise their kids... Setiously, what the hell happened to feminism and women's liberation? All I see anymore are a bunch of women want to be treated like helpless children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You keep saying "more support". What exactly do you want? We already have WIC, food stamps, Head Start, etc. There are millions of single moms out there, far more than in previous decades. Some of these mothers are using the resources I just listed, and some have sufficient financial means to support themselves. That seems to indicate that there are plenty of women who feel that raising the child themselves is a viable option.

But we can just leave open a blank check. I have a responsibility to myself, my family, and the society. That means I utilize the resources that are available to me (roads, public schools, etc.) but that doesn't mean I get whatever I want, just because I want it. I live a comfortable middle class lifestyle. I would not be able to do that if I decided to have 8 kids, so I don't.

Not the PP, but I would say:

1. Long-term paid parental leave (say, 12 months after a child is born)
2. High-quality, affordable child care until kids are school age
3. Accessible, affordable mental health care, including better options to treat substance abuse & addiction

Those three things would probably go a long way toward enabling women in precarious situations to parent their kids. As an added benefit, they would help a TON of people who aren't pregnant or poor or even female.

Personal responsibility. It is amazing how generations in the past managed to raise their kids... Setiously, what the hell happened to feminism and women's liberation? All I see anymore are a bunch of women want to be treated like helpless children.

Your foolishness does not even justify a response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You keep saying "more support". What exactly do you want? We already have WIC, food stamps, Head Start, etc. There are millions of single moms out there, far more than in previous decades. Some of these mothers are using the resources I just listed, and some have sufficient financial means to support themselves. That seems to indicate that there are plenty of women who feel that raising the child themselves is a viable option.

But we can just leave open a blank check. I have a responsibility to myself, my family, and the society. That means I utilize the resources that are available to me (roads, public schools, etc.) but that doesn't mean I get whatever I want, just because I want it. I live a comfortable middle class lifestyle. I would not be able to do that if I decided to have 8 kids, so I don't.

Not the PP, but I would say:

1. Long-term paid parental leave (say, 12 months after a child is born)
2. High-quality, affordable child care until kids are school age
3. Accessible, affordable mental health care, including better options to treat substance abuse & addiction

Those three things would probably go a long way toward enabling women in precarious situations to parent their kids. As an added benefit, they would help a TON of people who aren't pregnant or poor or even female.

Personal responsibility. It is amazing how generations in the past managed to raise their kids... Setiously, what the hell happened to feminism and women's liberation? All I see anymore are a bunch of women want to be treated like helpless children.

Your foolishness does not even justify a response.

Ahh, the response of someone without a decent counter argument.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is an honest question. How can parents be coerced into placing their child for adoption?

They are all coerced "in hindsight"

Hmm. Let's see. Vulnerable woman with little or no social support turns to a deceptively "neutral" agency that lauds the good act of placing one's child for adoption and warns of ruin should the woman choose to keep and raise the kid. Abortion, of course, is out of the question.

Seriously?

Well if she has little to no social support, isn't it a good choice to place the child for adoption? I mean she is at an adoption agency. If she were at an abortion clinic they wouldn't talk about adoption and raising the child.

Isn't it better to ensure she has the *true* option to raise her child, including by providing social and financial support?

Who is going to provide financial support?

When you choose to be a parent, you commit to financially supporting that human for 18 years.

Right. Some women are in vulnerable situations during pregnancy - are minors, are victims of rape, are homeless, or are victims of sex trafficking/forced prostitution or domestic violence. Their vulnerability and lack of resources should not mean that their only option is to place their child/ren for adoption. More resources must be dedicated to supporting these women in motherhood.

Minors okay. If you are an adult, life happens. You get through it the best way you can like everyone else. I don't want to pay for you to raise a child, you have resources to do that on your own.

Wow, what a big heart!

You know nothing of my heart. Where I volunteer my time or where I give my money. Just because I think people should be responsible for themselves, no matter their circumstances doesn't mean I'm some evil being.

Beyond emergency shelter, food and basic medical care - you should be able to seek out the resources you need on your own if you are a functioning adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Still no one has answered what is to become of the children whose birth parents neither want to provide or are capable of providing a safe and healthy environment for a child. Should they be resigned to an abusive and neglected household or fostercare instead of being given a chance at a living home? Just because you cannot imagine placing a child for adoption does mean that other women do not willingly do do and that it is not in the best interest of the child.

I am not saying adoption should be outlawed. I am saying more support systems should be in place for women without support who find themselves pregnant - that is, if a pregnant woman wants to keep her child, she should be able to do so (not just turn to abortion or adoption).

What support systems, what do you propose?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Abortion is the law of the land. Adoption is a last resort. No one has to place a child for adoption.

Some people are not willing to get an abortion, which is their prerogative. Adoption shouldn't be their only alternative.

Its not. They can do what billions of other parents do. Raise their child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You keep saying "more support". What exactly do you want? We already have WIC, food stamps, Head Start, etc. There are millions of single moms out there, far more than in previous decades. Some of these mothers are using the resources I just listed, and some have sufficient financial means to support themselves. That seems to indicate that there are plenty of women who feel that raising the child themselves is a viable option.

But we can just leave open a blank check. I have a responsibility to myself, my family, and the society. That means I utilize the resources that are available to me (roads, public schools, etc.) but that doesn't mean I get whatever I want, just because I want it. I live a comfortable middle class lifestyle. I would not be able to do that if I decided to have 8 kids, so I don't.

Not the PP, but I would say:

1. Long-term paid parental leave (say, 12 months after a child is born)
2. High-quality, affordable child care until kids are school age
3. Accessible, affordable mental health care, including better options to treat substance abuse & addiction

Those three things would probably go a long way toward enabling women in precarious situations to parent their kids. As an added benefit, they would help a TON of people who aren't pregnant or poor or even female.

Personal responsibility. It is amazing how generations in the past managed to raise their kids... Setiously, what the hell happened to feminism and women's liberation? All I see anymore are a bunch of women want to be treated like helpless children.

Your foolishness does not even justify a response.

Ahh, the response of someone without a decent counter argument.

Want a response? Fine.

Clearly we have different ideas of what society's responsibility to itself is. Me? I am a socialist. I believe civilized society operates best on a (mostly) level playing field - that is, when all citizens have access to certain resources. Parenting shouldn't be an insurmountable challenge for those with few resources (high personal income, strong social support, or acquired wealth). Providing comprehensive health care, childcare, and paid parental leave is, in my view, a way to ensure that individuals are operating from a place of choice and empowerment, not of desperation, in deciding how to proceed with a pregnancy. (Not PP who provided suggestions, btw.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Abortion is the law of the land. Adoption is a last resort. No one has to place a child for adoption.

Some people are not willing to get an abortion, which is their prerogative. Adoption shouldn't be their only alternative.

Birth control certainly is. There is no reason in today's world hit unintended pregnancy at the rates we see beyond sheer irresponsibility which no one false should have to finance.

Guess you see rape victims (of all stripes) and victims of incest as being sheerly irresponsible.

Please.

NP
You are being silly. In the rare instance of pregnancy from rape no one is going to say she is irresponsible. She has four choices: morning after (if in time), abortion, adoption or raising the child. If the incest is forced its rape, so same applies. If its consensual they have 5 choices, birth control, morning after, abortion, adoption and raising the child.

So with all those choices, why should anyone else be responsible except the biological parents for the choice made?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is an honest question. How can parents be coerced into placing their child for adoption?

They are all coerced "in hindsight"

Hmm. Let's see. Vulnerable woman with little or no social support turns to a deceptively "neutral" agency that lauds the good act of placing one's child for adoption and warns of ruin should the woman choose to keep and raise the kid. Abortion, of course, is out of the question.

Seriously?

Well if she has little to no social support, isn't it a good choice to place the child for adoption? I mean she is at an adoption agency. If she were at an abortion clinic they wouldn't talk about adoption and raising the child.

Isn't it better to ensure she has the *true* option to raise her child, including by providing social and financial support?

Who is going to provide financial support?

When you choose to be a parent, you commit to financially supporting that human for 18 years.

Right. Some women are in vulnerable situations during pregnancy - are minors, are victims of rape, are homeless, or are victims of sex trafficking/forced prostitution or domestic violence. Their vulnerability and lack of resources should not mean that their only option is to place their child/ren for adoption. More resources must be dedicated to supporting these women in motherhood.

Minors okay. If you are an adult, life happens. You get through it the best way you can like everyone else. I don't want to pay for you to raise a child, you have resources to do that on your own.

Wow, what a big heart!

You know nothing of my heart. Where I volunteer my time or where I give my money. Just because I think people should be responsible for themselves, no matter their circumstances doesn't mean I'm some evil being.

Beyond emergency shelter, food and basic medical care - you should be able to seek out the resources you need on your own if you are a functioning adult.

I think it's actually evil that you think that women who've been through the above aren't entitled to resources beyond shelter, food, and medical care. Seriously.

[Anonymous]

I have read through these posts and I am astounded by the one sided ignorance. Do any of you actually know anyone who has recently placed a child for adoption? I do. These are not women who have been coerced. These are not women who keep their child if only their were more resources and social services. These are women who do not at this point in their lives want to raise a child. They screwed up and got pregnant, chose not to have an abortion but do not want to raise the child. What is exactly to become of these children? You need to adjust your narrative to today's reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There has been and always will be children who are in need of loving homes. Stop making adoption out to be a horrible act or evil alternative.

I don't know who you're addressing, but my argument is that pregnant women - especially vulnerable pregnant women lacking resources - ought to be supported in motherhood. Governments and societies should do whatever possible to ensure that birth mothers - *if they want to* - are able to raise their children. Period.

Well, some people don't want to live in a socialist/communist country.

I also think it is better to empower women than to label them as vulnerable. But that is the difference right?

"Woe is me, here is my hand, I'm holding it out, fill it"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an adopted daughter who wants nothing more in life than to adopt herself. She has several adopted friends who feel the same way and have plans to or have adopted. Not everyone who actually have a real experience with adoption respond with the vitriol and hatred of bored, pious dcum mommies. Some of you need to get a little perspective and understand that sometimes adoption is the best option.

it is good to see another perspective--one from someone who is actually a part of the adoption triad. It is not surprising this post has been ignored as it does not fit the one-sided narrative of the anti-adoption posters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You keep saying "more support". What exactly do you want? We already have WIC, food stamps, Head Start, etc. There are millions of single moms out there, far more than in previous decades. Some of these mothers are using the resources I just listed, and some have sufficient financial means to support themselves. That seems to indicate that there are plenty of women who feel that raising the child themselves is a viable option.

But we can just leave open a blank check. I have a responsibility to myself, my family, and the society. That means I utilize the resources that are available to me (roads, public schools, etc.) but that doesn't mean I get whatever I want, just because I want it. I live a comfortable middle class lifestyle. I would not be able to do that if I decided to have 8 kids, so I don't.

Not the PP, but I would say:

1. Long-term paid parental leave (say, 12 months after a child is born)
2. High-quality, affordable child care until kids are school age
3. Accessible, affordable mental health care, including better options to treat substance abuse & addiction

Those three things would probably go a long way toward enabling women in precarious situations to parent their kids. As an added benefit, they would help a TON of people who aren't pregnant or poor or even female.

For that to work with the population the US has would entail a disproportionate amount of taxes and a great deal of big government intervention. There are smaller countries and socialist countries like that, if you'd like to live there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You keep saying "more support". What exactly do you want? We already have WIC, food stamps, Head Start, etc. There are millions of single moms out there, far more than in previous decades. Some of these mothers are using the resources I just listed, and some have sufficient financial means to support themselves. That seems to indicate that there are plenty of women who feel that raising the child themselves is a viable option.

But we can just leave open a blank check. I have a responsibility to myself, my family, and the society. That means I utilize the resources that are available to me (roads, public schools, etc.) but that doesn't mean I get whatever I want, just because I want it. I live a comfortable middle class lifestyle. I would not be able to do that if I decided to have 8 kids, so I don't.

Not the PP, but I would say:

1. Long-term paid parental leave (say, 12 months after a child is born)
2. High-quality, affordable child care until kids are school age
3. Accessible, affordable mental health care, including better options to treat substance abuse & addiction

Those three things would probably go a long way toward enabling women in precarious situations to parent their kids. As an added benefit, they would help a TON of people who aren't pregnant or poor or even female.

For that to work with the population the US has would entail a disproportionate amount of taxes and a great deal of big government intervention. There are smaller countries and socialist countries like that, if you'd like to live there.

I'd be thrilled if our government put less money into war and business and more into the American family. No change of tax rate needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You keep saying "more support". What exactly do you want? We already have WIC, food stamps, Head Start, etc. There are millions of single moms out there, far more than in previous decades. Some of these mothers are using the resources I just listed, and some have sufficient financial means to support themselves. That seems to indicate that there are plenty of women who feel that raising the child themselves is a viable option.

But we can just leave open a blank check. I have a responsibility to myself, my family, and the society. That means I utilize the resources that are available to me (roads, public schools, etc.) but that doesn't mean I get whatever I want, just because I want it. I live a comfortable middle class lifestyle. I would not be able to do that if I decided to have 8 kids, so I don't.

Not the PP, but I would say:

1. Long-term paid parental leave (say, 12 months after a child is born)
2. High-quality, affordable child care until kids are school age
3. Accessible, affordable mental health care, including better options to treat substance abuse & addiction

Those three things would probably go a long way toward enabling women in precarious situations to parent their kids. As an added benefit, they would help a TON of people who aren't pregnant or poor or even female.

Personal responsibility. It is amazing how generations in the past managed to raise their kids... Setiously, what the hell happened to feminism and women's liberation? All I see anymore are a bunch of women want to be treated like helpless children.

I can't plus this enough. Is this the new millennial thinking? Between this thread and the 12yo butt slap hear 'round the world I don't think liberation and empowerment are words used in relation to women anymore.

Also - adoption gives a child the chance to a life, better than they would have had or no life at all. In the tiny instance of something unethical going on I don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater here. Pun intended.