Ethics of adoption

[Anonymous]

Adoptive sister here- my brother is certainly better off and extremely happy he was adopted. he feels like he won the lottery with my parents and has never had a desire to seek out his birth mother. For what it is worth he is 43. My best friend was adopted from Korea- same thing- she is well adjusted and happy. I don't think these sides were presented in the article.

[Anonymous]

Just because a person can procreate it doesn't make them a good parent. I was raised by my biological parents. They were abusive to me throughout my childhood. Really, you think I was better off being with them rather than being with some other couple who wouldn't have abused me?

+1,000,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I read it. I found it to be pretty one-sided. I think changing the waiting period for adoption revocation is a terrible idea, and ignores the needs of the child. A baby needs to immediately bond with its parent- whether that is the birth parent or an adoptive parent- not be ping-ponged back and forth.
The article did not make any attempt to get alternate perspectives- it only looked at those who regretted adoption.

The fetus has already bonded in utero and studies have shown the baby suffers when birth mother and baby are separated. Women who have babies born out of wedlock are no longer ostracized and society should do all it can to keep these women and their babies together. It is not the job of any woman to be a brood mare for infertile couples. Adopting children from other countries is a travesty because these babies will never know or understand their hereditary culture, extended families or their mother tongue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But that's just the thing. Adoption is presented as the only option to these women and they are supposed to act in the child's "best interests". I guess I believe a child is best off with it's own parents.

Just because a person can procreate it doesn't make them a good parent. I was raised by my biological parents. They were abusive to me throughout my childhood. Really, you think I was better off being with them rather than being with some other couple who wouldn't have abused me?

Conversely, just because you cannot procreate does not mean you will be a good parent. Adoptive parents can also be abusive.

[Anonymous]

I agree adoption is a travesty and should not be allowed. At the very least people who adopt should not kid themselves thinking they're doing something good and altruistic. You've basically stolen someone's child. I've got a kid of my own and the visceral bond I have with them is not something anyone else could ever feel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree adoption is a travesty and should not be allowed. At the very least people who adopt should not kid themselves thinking they're doing something good and altruistic. You've basically stolen someone's child. I've got a kid of my own and the visceral bond I have with them is not something anyone else could ever feel.

interesting-- I'm curious how far you extend this argument. do you mean domestic infant adoption? international? adoption from foster care where the child has been taken away from biological parents due to abuse and neglect? What about a bio mother who has lost other children to the foster care system, and knows that she cannot parent- can she do a dia?

I have adopted from foster care and let me assure you I have a visceral bond with my children. I certainly have not stolen anyone's children- I have adopted children who have indeed been abandoned by their biological parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree adoption is a travesty and should not be allowed. At the very least people who adopt should not kid themselves thinking they're doing something good and altruistic. You've basically stolen someone's child. I've got a kid of my own and the visceral bond I have with them is not something anyone else could ever feel.

interesting-- I'm curious how far you extend this argument. do you mean domestic infant adoption? international? adoption from foster care where the child has been taken away from biological parents due to abuse and neglect? What about a bio mother who has lost other children to the foster care system, and knows that she cannot parent- can she do a dia?

I have adopted from foster care and let me assure you I have a visceral bond with my children. I certainly have not stolen anyone's children- I have adopted children who have indeed been abandoned by their biological parents.

Your altruism will, no doubt, be noted by the Nobel Peace Committee. How many of these children had extended families who. If they knew about them, would have adopted them? Don't break your arm patting yourself on the back.

[Anonymous]

I'm dead against adoption and this thread makes me glad others agree! Tired of these bogus claims about how selfless these people who adopt are.

[Anonymous]

So what happens to children who are abused by their parents or whose birth parents do not want to parent them? Are they to be denied love and security because you are "against adoption?"

[Anonymous]

Yes. There are so many problems with the way adoption the way it's set up now. Only rich people can adopt. Poor people can't. I just can't believe so many people out there defend such a flawed concept. Poor women don't exist to make babies for rich barren women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. There are so many problems with the way adoption the way it's set up now. Only rich people can adopt. Poor people can't. I just can't believe so many people out there defend such a flawed concept. Poor women don't exist to make babies for rich barren women.

My brother and his wife are very poor and have adopted 5 kids. So you're way off base.

[Anonymous]

Read this and tell me this little girl was better off with her biological father than being adopted.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/480750.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read this and tell me this little girl was better off with her biological father than being adopted.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/480750.page

This is a tragedy but it is also an isolated case.

[Anonymous]

As an adopted child, here's my opinion: You people against adoption are total assholes projecting your own mommy insecurity onto others.

I'm glad and proud to be adopted. My birth parents made a noble decision to give me up because they weren't ready to be parents; and my adoptive parents -- though flawed, and certainly not rich -- loved me and gave me a wonderful life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But that's just the thing. Adoption is presented as the only option to these women and they are supposed to act in the child's "best interests". I guess I believe a child is best off with it's own parents.

If that mother is an unemployed, meth addicted pack a day smoker with hepatitis C, would you agree? Because that is literally a situation I was presented with by my (non-profit) agency this week.