Please don't give your elementary school child a smart phone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what about parents who take their kids on expensive vacations? Do you want them to stop too? Expensive clothes? There will always be people who have more. Start dealing with it.

I think you are completely missing the point, PP. This isn't about the money. Plenty of parents, myself included, could easily afford smart phones for our toddlers if we wanted. It's about common sense and what's appropriate for children. No kid in elementary school needs to carry around free rein to the internet, texting, etc. Unless, of course, you like the idea of technology sucking up most of the free time in their childhood years as well as their teens. It also gives them a jump start on all those cute little websites like ask.fm, where little girls can talk about blow jobs and the size of guy's dicks, field questions about their boobs and worse, while learning to bully as good as they get. All without a parent nearby to monitor them. It's called too much too soon.

If communication with your child is what's important to you, a simple phone will do.

I think you are completely missing the point.

OP doesn't want other parents to give their kids smartphones because she does not want her child to want one and bother her for one, since she agrees with you that it's inappropriate at her kid's age. This could apply to literally anything a parent might buy for their child. Perhaps I think it is inappropriate for young kids to have designer clothing because I think it fosters materialism -- so do I get to tell other families not to buy their kids such clothing so my kid won't ask for any? Perhaps I think it is inappropriate for kids or tweens to get manicures because I think it leads to too much focus on appearance -- should I start a thread asking moms to refrain from spa days with their DDs until high school so my DD doesn't ask for one? Perhaps I find it ridiculous to buy a car for a 16 year old teen -- can I convince other families not to buy one for their kids so my teen doesn't want one?

The point is, it's an individual parent's decision and it is incredibly presumptuous to try to get parents to make the decision you find appropriate simply so your child doesn't want something his or her friends have. There's always going to be a friend or classmate who has something your kid wants that you are going to say no to, but that's on you to enforce your boundaries, not on the classmate's parent to conform to your expectations.

As for your last sentence, that's not your decision to make for someone else's kid no matter how imperiously you state it, and there are specific features/capabilities we wanted our child to have that are only available on a smart phone, so no a simple phone will not do for our purposes.

Care to elaborate?

btw, you sound way defensive on this. apparently, OP is not the first person to question your choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what about parents who take their kids on expensive vacations? Do you want them to stop too? Expensive clothes? There will always be people who have more. Start dealing with it.

I think you are completely missing the point, PP. This isn't about the money. Plenty of parents, myself included, could easily afford smart phones for our toddlers if we wanted. It's about common sense and what's appropriate for children. No kid in elementary school needs to carry around free rein to the internet, texting, etc. Unless, of course, you like the idea of technology sucking up most of the free time in their childhood years as well as their teens. It also gives them a jump start on all those cute little websites like ask.fm, where little girls can talk about blow jobs and the size of guy's dicks, field questions about their boobs and worse, while learning to bully as good as they get. All without a parent nearby to monitor them. It's called too much too soon.

If communication with your child is what's important to you, a simple phone will do.

I think you are completely missing the point.

OP doesn't want other parents to give their kids smartphones because she does not want her child to want one and bother her for one, since she agrees with you that it's inappropriate at her kid's age. This could apply to literally anything a parent might buy for their child. Perhaps I think it is inappropriate for young kids to have designer clothing because I think it fosters materialism -- so do I get to tell other families not to buy their kids such clothing so my kid won't ask for any? Perhaps I think it is inappropriate for kids or tweens to get manicures because I think it leads to too much focus on appearance -- should I start a thread asking moms to refrain from spa days with their DDs until high school so my DD doesn't ask for one? Perhaps I find it ridiculous to buy a car for a 16 year old teen -- can I convince other families not to buy one for their kids so my teen doesn't want one?

The point is, it's an individual parent's decision and it is incredibly presumptuous to try to get parents to make the decision you find appropriate simply so your child doesn't want something his or her friends have. There's always going to be a friend or classmate who has something your kid wants that you are going to say no to, but that's on you to enforce your boundaries, not on the classmate's parent to conform to your expectations.

As for your last sentence, that's not your decision to make for someone else's kid no matter how imperiously you state it, and there are specific features/capabilities we wanted our child to have that are only available on a smart phone, so no a simple phone will not do for our purposes.

Care to elaborate?

btw, you sound way defensive on this. apparently, OP is not the first person to question your choice.

Sure. DD10 (5th grade) has a smartphone. A fer specific features we like that we couldn't figure out how to get on a regular phone are:

- email access (to keep in touch with distant family, manage several of her khan academy courses, and get access to our family google calendar)
- google calendar widget (for obvious reasons)
- access to google maps and the WMATA trip planning resources (she sometimes takes public transit on her own to get to specific activities, and if for some reason there was a delay, diversion, confusion over directions, etc. we would want her to have the resources to figure out an alternative plan -- obviously she can always call and her older sister or I can walk her through it, but this way she can look up the next bus or whatever on her own too)
- limited internet access (although we have this locked down pretty tightly with parental controls, I like that she is able to access news and certain educational websites for basic research purposes if a question arises while out and about or without a computer immediately available, plus her school will have a BYOD policy starting in middle school so she can use the phone for some classwork)
- bluetooth compatibility and ability to transfer files between her phone and our computer (helpful for organization purposes, and makes it easier to do small amounts of work on the go even if we haven't brought the computer or it lost it's charge)

DD has only a few basic games that came preloaded on the phone, no access to social media, and little time to just mess around with the phone, but several of the ways she uses it do call for a smartphone over a basic phone.

As for my post being defensive... that's not exactly how I meant it since DH & I don't particularly care about anyone except close family's opinions of our parenting decisions, but threads like this show up on here frequently, and it is both tiresome and a bit mind boggling to me to see the extent to which parents on these boards feel entitled to dictate the decisions of other families because they're so sure that there's one universally correct and convenient course of action.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:but threads like this show up on here frequently, and it is both tiresome and a bit mind boggling to me to see the extent to which parents on these boards feel entitled to dictate the decisions of other families because they're so sure that there's one universally correct and convenient course of action.

LOVE this! +1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Depriving" my children of a luxury that their peers have is something that doesn't bother me that much, and perhaps because I treat the idea of a smart phone in elementary school with a combination of comedic horror and frank dismissal, my kids don't badger me much. It's not even an argument in my house because I don't engage. Treat it like a completely unrealizable fantasy that your kids have. If your kid were badgering you to, I dunno, fly an airplane, you would sometimes engage in the fun of imagining what it would be like and mostly just ignore because it's not happening and it's silly to even talk about it really. That's how I approach the smart phone issue. And, for that matter, mature-rated video games and a host of other things other kids have that mine don't, whether the reason is my disapproval or my lack of funds.

There will ALWAYS be someone who has more than you do. There is no way to shield kids from this reality. If you treat it like something you let it roll off your back, your kids will have an easier time letting it roll off theirs.

+1

[Anonymous]

Why my kid has a smart phone: School bus was stuck today. DD did not know exactly she was. I used "FindMyFriends", located her (and a few other kids that I knew) and brought them home. #CloseFCPS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why my kid has a smart phone: School bus was stuck today. DD did not know exactly she was. I used "FindMyFriends", located her (and a few other kids that I knew) and brought them home. #CloseFCPS

Smart phones: Your ticket to the ultimate in helicopter mommying. Imagine the horrors that might have befallen her if mommy hadn't found her: an adventure on the bus with her schoolmates...being a little cold....a lesson about dressing warmly (if she wasn't ) a lessons about how sometimes things go wrong and you just have to suck it up and deal. You must be so proud to be teaching such fine survival skills to members of the wuss generation. Way to go!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:but threads like this show up on here frequently, and it is both tiresome and a bit mind boggling to me to see the extent to which parents on these boards feel entitled to dictate the decisions of other families because they're so sure that there's one universally correct and convenient course of action.

LOVE this! +1000

I think what parents are responding to is the braggy certitude so often paired with decisions reflecting a seeming lack of common sense. For better or worse, we are a community and the decisions each of us make often affect all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:but threads like this show up on here frequently, and it is both tiresome and a bit mind boggling to me to see the extent to which parents on these boards feel entitled to dictate the decisions of other families because they're so sure that there's one universally correct and convenient course of action.

LOVE this! +1000

I think what parents are responding to is the braggy certitude so often paired with decisions reflecting a seeming lack of common sense. For better or worse, we are a community and the decisions each of us make often affect all.

vaccinate or not = affects the community
smartphone or not = affects my family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:but threads like this show up on here frequently, and it is both tiresome and a bit mind boggling to me to see the extent to which parents on these boards feel entitled to dictate the decisions of other families because they're so sure that there's one universally correct and convenient course of action.

LOVE this! +1000

I think what parents are responding to is the braggy certitude so often paired with decisions reflecting a seeming lack of common sense. For better or worse, we are a community and the decisions each of us make often affect all.

vaccinate or not = affects the community
smartphone or not = affects my family

sadly, we'll see won't we?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:but threads like this show up on here frequently, and it is both tiresome and a bit mind boggling to me to see the extent to which parents on these boards feel entitled to dictate the decisions of other families because they're so sure that there's one universally correct and convenient course of action.

LOVE this! +1000

I think what parents are responding to is the braggy certitude so often paired with decisions reflecting a seeming lack of common sense. For better or worse, we are a community and the decisions each of us make often affect all.

vaccinate or not = affects the community
smartphone or not = affects my family

sadly, we'll see won't we?

Me vaccinating my kid or not does not effect you. If your precious vaccines worked the way you claim then what do you care if my kids gets the mumps. Your kid safe and protected right? So buzz off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:but threads like this show up on here frequently, and it is both tiresome and a bit mind boggling to me to see the extent to which parents on these boards feel entitled to dictate the decisions of other families because they're so sure that there's one universally correct and convenient course of action.

LOVE this! +1000

I think what parents are responding to is the braggy certitude so often paired with decisions reflecting a seeming lack of common sense. For better or worse, we are a community and the decisions each of us make often affect all.

vaccinate or not = affects the community
smartphone or not = affects my family

sadly, we'll see won't we?

HUH????????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:but threads like this show up on here frequently, and it is both tiresome and a bit mind boggling to me to see the extent to which parents on these boards feel entitled to dictate the decisions of other families because they're so sure that there's one universally correct and convenient course of action.

LOVE this! +1000

I think what parents are responding to is the braggy certitude so often paired with decisions reflecting a seeming lack of common sense. For better or worse, we are a community and the decisions each of us make often affect all.

vaccinate or not = affects the community
smartphone or not = affects my family

sadly, we'll see won't we?

Me vaccinating my kid or not does not effect you. If your precious vaccines worked the way you claim then what do you care if my kids gets the mumps. Your kid safe and protected right? So buzz off.

This should be on a different thread to address all the anti-MMR nutters. But actually, there is a tipping point where if enough kids don't get vaccinated the disease can come back strong enough to override vaccinations. But just keep on doing what you're ignorantly doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why my kid has a smart phone: School bus was stuck today. DD did not know exactly she was. I used "FindMyFriends", located her (and a few other kids that I knew) and brought them home. #CloseFCPS

Smart phones: Your ticket to the ultimate in helicopter mommying. Imagine the horrors that might have befallen her if mommy hadn't found her: an adventure on the bus with her schoolmates...being a little cold....a lesson about dressing warmly (if she wasn't ) a lessons about how sometimes things go wrong and you just have to suck it up and deal. You must be so proud to be teaching such fine survival skills to members of the wuss generation. Way to go!

+1

I mean, seriously people. How did you all survive childhood without GPS detectors on you all the time. When I was in elementary school, I walked to and from the bus by myself, came home and made myself a snack, did my homework and didn't show up again until 6pm for dinner. Even if I didn't have my trusty wrist watch, I could gauge the skies enough to know when it was close to 6pm. In the summer I was NEVER home. My mom had no freakin clue what I did all day but I gained confidence, survival skills, street smarts, common sense and negotiating skills that these current generations are clueless about.

And I remember being stuck on a bus in the snow for 3hours on the way to school. NO ONE called our parents during or after the "tragic" event. We told them at 6pm dinner and neither parent got upset. They said we were lucky we didn't have to walk to school and were safe on a warm bus and went back to eating. And none of us thought anything of it. How did all of you turn into such whiny babies. Your parents would be ashamed of you. Social media and these boards just stir up and accept the ridiculous complaints and if you take a step back and really think about it. Is it really THAT big of deal if your kid doesn't have a phone. What is the hidden anxiety if you don't know where they are at all times or can't reach you. Let them use some critical thinking skills for once instead of running to Mommy. Geez!

[Anonymous]

You are ridiculous OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why my kid has a smart phone: School bus was stuck today. DD did not know exactly she was. I used "FindMyFriends", located her (and a few other kids that I knew) and brought them home. #CloseFCPS

Smart phones: Your ticket to the ultimate in helicopter mommying. Imagine the horrors that might have befallen her if mommy hadn't found her: an adventure on the bus with her schoolmates...being a little cold....a lesson about dressing warmly (if she wasn't ) a lessons about how sometimes things go wrong and you just have to suck it up and deal. You must be so proud to be teaching such fine survival skills to members of the wuss generation. Way to go!

+1

I mean, seriously people. How did you all survive childhood without GPS detectors on you all the time. When I was in elementary school, I walked to and from the bus by myself, came home and made myself a snack, did my homework and didn't show up again until 6pm for dinner. Even if I didn't have my trusty wrist watch, I could gauge the skies enough to know when it was close to 6pm. In the summer I was NEVER home. My mom had no freakin clue what I did all day but I gained confidence, survival skills, street smarts, common sense and negotiating skills that these current generations are clueless about.

And I remember being stuck on a bus in the snow for 3hours on the way to school. NO ONE called our parents during or after the "tragic" event. We told them at 6pm dinner and neither parent got upset. They said we were lucky we didn't have to walk to school and were safe on a warm bus and went back to eating. And none of us thought anything of it. How did all of you turn into such whiny babies. Your parents would be ashamed of you. Social media and these boards just stir up and accept the ridiculous complaints and if you take a step back and really think about it. Is it really THAT big of deal if your kid doesn't have a phone. What is the hidden anxiety if you don't know where they are at all times or can't reach you. Let them use some critical thinking skills for once instead of running to Mommy. Geez!

I agree 100% but moms these days always have a rationalization for everything but most of which is that they need to keep up with the Jones's and give their kid everything their friends have. They just claim it is for safety but if 99% of the kids did not have them, neither would their kids. They don't know how to say no, so instead of looking like a wuss, they give their "valid" reasons.