Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are there really people in the world who have never said something mean during an argument? I ask in all seriousness -- this is an eye-opener for me if true. I assumed we'd all had our moments saying things we've later regretted.
My DH and I will disagree strenuously. We don't raise voices. We don't call each other names. We don't swear at each other. And we don't say intentionally mean things.
I personally would never be with someone who does any of the above.
And when you date for several years before marriage (pretty much the norm these days), it's not like any of the above behavior should be a surprise.
Actually, you're wrong about this. This is a myth people have who have never known abuse victims. They think that there must always be red flags. I've known women who dated men for years, and it wasn't until after getting married or after having children that the abusive behavior emerged. It's usually when the abuser feels confident they "have" the person (i.e., the person is very unlikely to leave because they are financial reliant or something).