Bad actions in Vegas

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Male cheating is NOT a big deal.

Stupid thing to say.

Why?

How has sexual fidelity slip-ups (I'm not talking about Mad Men-style infidelity as a way of life stuff, mind) become worse than similar slipups (e.g. spending $600 on a video game console)?

Marital infidelity is, in your mind, on the same level as buying a video game console? Yikes.

+1 and why only 'male cheating?' If the woman cheated, it would be worse? Okay troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He has to seriously drop these friends. That means that not only does he not see them but he dies not text, email, IM them. He must agree to this without feeling resentful towards you. These friends have no respect for you at all.

Agree. He must also cut off any contact with his parents - they are implicated since they raised him. No card, no goodbye, no Christmas, nothing. Just no further contact, ever. Likewise his siblings. And he must do this dutifully and cheerfully.

He must leave his job. No resignation email, no farewell party. Just stand up, and walk out of the building, and never go back.

He must burn all his clothes. All of them. No, he cannot keep his favorite sweater. He has to jauntily pile them onto a pyre.

He has to leave the country. From now on he will live in Djibouti. He must never speak English again. Ever. And he must do so with good grace.

WINNER! of the funniest comment ever on DCUM! congratulations-you've won a Vegas rub down, complete with happy ending!

[Anonymous]

Dump him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I appreciate the comments. It wasn't his friends at all. He got split up from them in the early hrs of the morning and he let a taxi driver talk him into it. He doesn't abuse alcohol regularly. In fact, I think part of the problem is that he doesn't drink much and tried to drink like he did in college that night with his friends. Clearly, he cannot do that anymore. He is taking full responsibility.
And yes,my strongest reaction is just how disgusting. Gross. And he is so undecidedly not gross. Handsome and perfectly kept. It's gross.

Honestly, I would have an easier time dealing with it if it was peer pressure from his friends. But him saying he let a total stranger talk him into it seems pretty lame. He was sober enough to have sex and remember all the circumstances that brought it about. Sounds pretty bad to me.

Anonymous wrote:The taxi driver "convincing" him is almost worse IMO than his friends pushing him into it. There were way more opportunities w/ total strangers to back out without any repercussions.

I'm of the mindset (I think - it not actually being me in the scenario) to think that this is the kind of thing you can get past and certainly isn't an emotional kind of connection with someone else.

That being said, the whole taxi driver excuse thing doesn't sit well with me at all. That kind of sounds like BS excuse making.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I appreciate the comments. It wasn't his friends at all. He got split up from them in the early hrs of the morning and he let a taxi driver talk him into it. He doesn't abuse alcohol regularly. In fact, I think part of the problem is that he doesn't drink much and tried to drink like he did in college that night with his friends. Clearly, he cannot do that anymore. He is taking full responsibility.
And yes,my strongest reaction is just how disgusting. Gross. And he is so undecidedly not gross. Handsome and perfectly kept. It's gross.

Uh, sorry OP but this story does not pass the smell test at all. What on earth does "a taxi driver talked me into it" mean??? That sounds like BS.

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if the cabbie gets a kickback from the brothel. It was actually my first thought when I heard the cabbie talked him into it. It's very possible.

We have a winner! Yes, Vegas cabbies get kickbacks from brothels, massage parlors, strip clubs, etc.

How many of you have actually ever spent any time in Vegas? It's very easy to get separated from your buddies there...I've had it happen when all of us were stone cold sober. How many of you get separated while shopping during the holidays...casinos are even worse, pause to look at something and next thing you know you're alone.

Apparently none have taken a ride in a Vegas cab during the wee hours of the morning. They can be very persuasive. They do indeed get a cut for every shmuck they drop off. In the numerous times I've taken a cab in Vegas, I don't think I've ever ridden in one after 1am where the cabbie didn't spend the entire trip 'suggesting' alternative places to go. I've even had a few take the 'long' way in the hopes of persuading otherwise.

The cabbie didn't likely walk him in the door and he's ultimately responsible for his own actions, however I love how judgmental many of you clowns are. You condemn, yet if placed in a similar situation, I wonder how many would act similarly. I'd bet the majority of you.

As far as the condom/no condom speculation...more than likely the girl put it on and wouldn't have sex without one. Yes there's still a chance he could've come home an STD and so you do have to go through the process, but I'd wager we're more likely to get hit by the ISON comet than he's likely to have picked up an STD.

I also find it humorous people think any infraction involving alcohol immediately demands a trip to AA, etc. The OP stated he does not have a pattern of drinking. More than likely it'll be a long time before he takes another drink period let alone drink to intoxication.

And for all those stone throwers winding up to break their last pane of glass, instead of basing my inputs off of smug judgmental horseshit, mine are from multiple trips to Vegas while in the military. You can't go out there without some sort of shenanigan happening...while significant for the OP this is rather benign to others I've seen.

Bottom line, he did something entirely out of character while highly intoxicated. I say this not to excuse the action, however nothing sounds like anything is a pattern that would indicate he'll do it again. Like a kid burning their hand on a hot stove, he learned the hard way, but will unlikely do it again.

[Anonymous]

I'd work out, stay cute and keep my eyes open for my free pass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I appreciate the comments. It wasn't his friends at all. He got split up from them in the early hrs of the morning and he let a taxi driver talk him into it. He doesn't abuse alcohol regularly. In fact, I think part of the problem is that he doesn't drink much and tried to drink like he did in college that night with his friends. Clearly, he cannot do that anymore. He is taking full responsibility.
And yes,my strongest reaction is just how disgusting. Gross. And he is so undecidedly not gross. Handsome and perfectly kept. It's gross.

Honestly, I would have an easier time dealing with it if it was peer pressure from his friends. But him saying he let a total stranger talk him into it seems pretty lame. He was sober enough to have sex and remember all the circumstances that brought it about. Sounds pretty bad to me.

Anonymous wrote:The taxi driver "convincing" him is almost worse IMO than his friends pushing him into it. There were way more opportunities w/ total strangers to back out without any repercussions.

I'm of the mindset (I think - it not actually being me in the scenario) to think that this is the kind of thing you can get past and certainly isn't an emotional kind of connection with someone else.

That being said, the whole taxi driver excuse thing doesn't sit well with me at all. That kind of sounds like BS excuse making.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I appreciate the comments. It wasn't his friends at all. He got split up from them in the early hrs of the morning and he let a taxi driver talk him into it. He doesn't abuse alcohol regularly. In fact, I think part of the problem is that he doesn't drink much and tried to drink like he did in college that night with his friends. Clearly, he cannot do that anymore. He is taking full responsibility.
And yes,my strongest reaction is just how disgusting. Gross. And he is so undecidedly not gross. Handsome and perfectly kept. It's gross.

Uh, sorry OP but this story does not pass the smell test at all. What on earth does "a taxi driver talked me into it" mean??? That sounds like BS.

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if the cabbie gets a kickback from the brothel. It was actually my first thought when I heard the cabbie talked him into it. It's very possible.

We have a winner! Yes, Vegas cabbies get kickbacks from brothels, massage parlors, strip clubs, etc.

How many of you have actually ever spent any time in Vegas? It's very easy to get separated from your buddies there...I've had it happen when all of us were stone cold sober. How many of you get separated while shopping during the holidays...casinos are even worse, pause to look at something and next thing you know you're alone.

Apparently none have taken a ride in a Vegas cab during the wee hours of the morning. They can be very persuasive. They do indeed get a cut for every shmuck they drop off. In the numerous times I've taken a cab in Vegas, I don't think I've ever ridden in one after 1am where the cabbie didn't spend the entire trip 'suggesting' alternative places to go. I've even had a few take the 'long' way in the hopes of persuading otherwise.

The cabbie didn't likely walk him in the door and he's ultimately responsible for his own actions, however I love how judgmental many of you clowns are. You condemn, yet if placed in a similar situation, I wonder how many would act similarly. I'd bet the majority of you.

As far as the condom/no condom speculation...more than likely the girl put it on and wouldn't have sex without one. Yes there's still a chance he could've come home an STD and so you do have to go through the process, but I'd wager we're more likely to get hit by the ISON comet than he's likely to have picked up an STD.

I also find it humorous people think any infraction involving alcohol immediately demands a trip to AA, etc. The OP stated he does not have a pattern of drinking. More than likely it'll be a long time before he takes another drink period let alone drink to intoxication.

And for all those stone throwers winding up to break their last pane of glass, instead of basing my inputs off of smug judgmental horseshit, mine are from multiple trips to Vegas while in the military. You can't go out there without some sort of shenanigan happening...while significant for the OP this is rather benign to others I've seen.

Bottom line, he did something entirely out of character while highly intoxicated. I say this not to excuse the action, however nothing sounds like anything is a pattern that would indicate he'll do it again. Like a kid burning their hand on a hot stove, he learned the hard way, but will unlikely do it again.

Except that he did not get burnt in anyway, so there is a good chance he might do it again.

[Anonymous]

He didn't have to tell you, but he told you anyway. That says a lot about him. In spite of the obvious negative, the way he handled it says more about him than him being trapped by the cab driver (if that is what happened).

What about his buddies? Are they jealous of you, by chance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Married 15 years, 3 children, 2 professional jobs, very happy life with the normal ups and downs. Extremely trusting of each other. No trouble in marriage up until now.
Las Vegas trip with boys. He gets so drunk he follows a suggestion to go to a "massage parlor" that ends in sex with the lady, with a condom.
He comes home, admits to all. Very remorseful and looks like he wants to die. Went to get checked for stds.
What would you do?

These are not "bad actions" WTF is he 2? He fucked somebody else. Deal with it or leave. He will fuck somebody else again deal with it or leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married 15 years, 3 children, 2 professional jobs, very happy life with the normal ups and downs. Extremely trusting of each other. No trouble in marriage up until now.
Las Vegas trip with boys. He gets so drunk he follows a suggestion to go to a "massage parlor" that ends in sex with the lady, with a condom.
He comes home, admits to all. Very remorseful and looks like he wants to die. Went to get checked for stds.
What would you do?

These are not "bad actions" WTF is he 2? He fucked somebody else. Deal with it or leave. He will fuck somebody else again deal with it or leave.

You're overreacting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married 15 years, 3 children, 2 professional jobs, very happy life with the normal ups and downs. Extremely trusting of each other. No trouble in marriage up until now.
Las Vegas trip with boys. He gets so drunk he follows a suggestion to go to a "massage parlor" that ends in sex with the lady, with a condom.
He comes home, admits to all. Very remorseful and looks like he wants to die. Went to get checked for stds.
What would you do?

These are not "bad actions" WTF is he 2? He fucked somebody else. Deal with it or leave. He will fuck somebody else again deal with it or leave.

You're overreacting.

Mmm. No I don't care. It is what it is. Not my husband

[Anonymous]

I am not so sure about the overreacting. When most people marry, they think they are faithfully committing to someone forever which includes not screwing other people. It may be no big deal for some, but for others it's a deal breaker. Hard to pass judgement on this one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not so sure about the overreacting. When most people marry, they think they are faithfully committing to someone forever which includes not screwing other people. It may be no big deal for some, but for others it's a deal breaker. Hard to pass judgement on this one.

Oh wait. I was just annoyed with the term "bad actions" seems like a child is being chastised. His activity was ADULTery.

[Anonymous]

I totally agree but some posters are saying, "get over it" and that the people who are saying "dump him" are overreacting. Seems nuts to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not to be extreme, but your husband ruined the martial bond for good. There is no way you and him will ever recapture what you both had before.

You will NEVER trust him EVER again and the hurt, anger + betrayal will only fester over the years.

This is from someone who was cheated on.
It doesn't happen overnight, but eventually you get to that point where you cannot stand the sight of him any longer. He just makes you ill.....

Right on sister!

[Anonymous]

American women are so uptight. This is not a big deal at all.