Not potty-trained at 3...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is much harder to train a 3 yr old than a 2 yr old. If you wait until 3 then you do have to do child led training. If you train at 2 (early two - 22-26 months) you can do parent led training and get it over with much faster.

You just can't get it into your thick skull that all kids are different. My DS has been in toilet training since 12 months by his old-country grandma where no kids are in diapers by 3, but lots of crapped-on pants are in washing machines. He's 27 months and still shows no interest, despite hours spent on potty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
All I am saying is that parents should take responsibility. My child used a sippy cup at home until age 4, which I think is way too long. I fully acknowledge that it was because I allowed it, and not because she was not "showing signs of readiness" to give it up. She probably would have drunk from that thing on the couch happily until 4th grade. It was my job as her mother to throw it away. So, I take full responsibility. If someone else had been in charge, maybe she would have given it up at age 2. JUST LIKE IF I WERE IN CHARGE, YOUR KID WOULD BE POTTY TRAINED WELL BEFORE THREE. I am saying your kid is fine and was ready at 2. IT'S YOU, and YOUR DECISION to wait. If you feel ok about that, great. But STOP BLAMING IT ON YOUR KID.

Well if I WERE IN CHARGE (is that enough caps?) of you growing up, you wouldn't be starting stupid threads now. I want your parents to take full responsibility for it. They should stop blaming your stupidity and judgmental nature on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
All I am saying is that parents should take responsibility. My child used a sippy cup at home until age 4, which I think is way too long. I fully acknowledge that it was because I allowed it, and not because she was not "showing signs of readiness" to give it up. She probably would have drunk from that thing on the couch happily until 4th grade. It was my job as her mother to throw it away. So, I take full responsibility. If someone else had been in charge, maybe she would have given it up at age 2. JUST LIKE IF I WERE IN CHARGE, YOUR KID WOULD BE POTTY TRAINED WELL BEFORE THREE. I am saying your kid is fine and was ready at 2. IT'S YOU, and YOUR DECISION to wait. If you feel ok about that, great. But STOP BLAMING IT ON YOUR KID.

Well if I WERE IN CHARGE (is that enough caps?) of you growing up, you wouldn't be starting stupid threads now. I want your parents to take full responsibility for it. They should stop blaming your stupidity and judgmental nature on you.

OP here. I have identified all of my posts except two and they are easy to identify and very short and in the first two pages. Just to clarify, I have not posted about sippy cups, swimming, or cited to any references about potty training in previous generations.

[Anonymous]

It's probably not going to have long term effects on your child's development if they are not potty trained by 3. But it is going to result in additional years of sending his/her disposable poop diapers to landfills (unless you are using cloth, which most aren't).


Oh wow. So now it's a social responsibility? Bwahaha

Yes. Don't know why you find it amusing. It is bad for the environment to keep throwing poop diapers in landfills (in fact, it is bad for the environment to use them at all, but I recognize that many daycares will not accept cloth diapers).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MYOB. Our pediatrician told me I could start potty training at 2 and be done at 3 years and 3 months or I could start at 3 and be done at 3 years and 3 months. So, if you knew us, you too would be judging us based on our decision about when to potty train our child. Ours isn't suffering any ill effects and potty training was a breeze.

.

Total agree. You can try to force potty training as much as you want, but it won't happen til the kid is ready. And, not a minute before. DC also became ready at 3 years and 3 mo.

So why until the 1960s were 90% of kids trained before they turned two? In some parts of the world the kids are still trained before two?

What do you think explains this?

I would say a good 70% are now (maybe 80%). And I would say a good 70-80% were then. The difference was how much the 20-30% were shamed for it by their parents in the 60s because it was seen as abnormal. Let's not return to those days. It IS developmentally normal to train in your threes though most are done before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP seems to think this needs to be done because the kid was mocked by another little kid--she witnessed another child calling this child a baby!
Oh, the horror! As if the other kid wouldn't find some other reason to call a kid "baby!"
And as if the way we respond to playground taunts is to immediately make sure our children conform to whatever the other children think is appropriate!
Hey, OP, if this 3 year old girl is "clearly ready" why doesn't she ask her parents for some underpants? A 3 year old can talk, right? I mean, if she wants to potty train, why would she not tell her parents this?
If it's not clear by now, I think you should MYOB.

OP here. Your question is laughable. In addition to being made fun of, I have detailed examples of her readiness. But are you really saying that if a child does not ask her parents for something it means she is not ready? Seriously? She didn't ask me to make her dinner, give her a bath, or make her take her multivitamin the last time she spent the night at my house but I did those things because she needs them. We are the adults here. I am involved in her life but I have been clear that I am minding my own business and that I am using this thread to sort out my feelings on the subject. Your reading comprehension and reasoning skills are scary.

Oh, OP, you really need to stop talking. How deep can you dig yourself?

OP here. I haven't "dug myself" anywhere. I have been consistent and clear. What are you talking about? Use your words.

I've changed my mind.

You keep talking. I'll keep laughing!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MYOB. Our pediatrician told me I could start potty training at 2 and be done at 3 years and 3 months or I could start at 3 and be done at 3 years and 3 months. So, if you knew us, you too would be judging us based on our decision about when to potty train our child. Ours isn't suffering any ill effects and potty training was a breeze.

.

Total agree. You can try to force potty training as much as you want, but it won't happen til the kid is ready. And, not a minute before. DC also became ready at 3 years and 3 mo.

So why until the 1960s were 90% of kids trained before they turned two? In some parts of the world the kids are still trained before two?

What do you think explains this?

I would say a good 70% are now (maybe 80%). And I would say a good 70-80% were then. The difference was how much the 20-30% were shamed for it by their parents in the 60s because it was seen as abnormal. Let's not return to those days. It IS developmentally normal to train in your threes though most are done before.

There is no way 70-80% of kids here are trained by the time they turn two. Not a chance.

[Anonymous]

In Asia, they potty train early. In fact, even before a year old, some will start to notice the signs of when a kid is about to pee/poop and hold the child over the toilet (or the side of the road, wherever the place to toilet is) to get the child used to not peeing/pooping in the diaper.

Part of this is practical -- don't have the resources we have, endless supply of disposable diapers and/or washing machines, et cetera.

Out of necessity, kids learn earlier.

Personally, I think if a person waits too long, the child gets set in his/her ways and/or lazy and/or stubborn. Remember the defiance phase starts in the 2s (the "no" phase). A child is actually physically ready to toilet train much earlier than people think.

The concept of waiting until the child lets you know he/she is ready is kind of ridiculous. The reason it is ridiculous is because if a kid is wearing disposable diapers that are very effective at keeping him/her dry and the diapers are changed frequently, there is very little incentive to change ways and use a potty.

Waiting until the kid shows he/she is ready really only works if the kid wears cloth diapers and actually has an incentive to not want to poop/pee in his/her pants.

Why should it matter to other people when your child potty trains? Well, for one, it is a resource issue. The sooner a kid learns to use the potty, the fewer disposable diapers have to be used. (again, different story with cloth diapers.)

The other thing I would mention is that we are constantly hearing about how poor American kids perform academically compared to other countries. Perhaps we should start looking at where American parenting differs from other cultures. and potty training is a very good example. Most other places in the world, people do not wait until a kid is 3 or older to start training. And most other places also do not take the "wait until the kid expresses interest" approach.

I understand correlation does not equal causation. But it is interesting that about the same time the potty training model changed in this country (i.e. people starting waiting later and/or waiting until the kid showed interest), our children gradually started to perform at lower levels compared to the rest of the world.

I'm not saying people should be cruel and make potty a miserable experience for kids. But I do think we've gotten a little ridiculous with the passive model of parenting.

Flame away. Honestly, I don't care how people raise their children. But I do observe trends, and I am going to state how I see things. If my opinion offends you, then that's fine. Just as much as you have a right to parent how you choose, I have a right to have an opinion about how horribly behaved and downright lazy so many children are and how that might be connected to how they are parented.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP seems to think this needs to be done because the kid was mocked by another little kid--she witnessed another child calling this child a baby!
Oh, the horror! As if the other kid wouldn't find some other reason to call a kid "baby!"
And as if the way we respond to playground taunts is to immediately make sure our children conform to whatever the other children think is appropriate!
Hey, OP, if this 3 year old girl is "clearly ready" why doesn't she ask her parents for some underpants? A 3 year old can talk, right? I mean, if she wants to potty train, why would she not tell her parents this?
If it's not clear by now, I think you should MYOB.

OP here. Your question is laughable. In addition to being made fun of, I have detailed examples of her readiness. But are you really saying that if a child does not ask her parents for something it means she is not ready? Seriously? She didn't ask me to make her dinner, give her a bath, or make her take her multivitamin the last time she spent the night at my house but I did those things because she needs them. We are the adults here. I am involved in her life but I have been clear that I am minding my own business and that I am using this thread to sort out my feelings on the subject. Your reading comprehension and reasoning skills are scary.

Oh, OP, you really need to stop talking. How deep can you dig yourself?

OP here. I haven't "dug myself" anywhere. I have been consistent and clear. What are you talking about? Use your words.

I've changed my mind.

You keep talking. I'll keep laughing!

OP here. Insightful and sharply worded, Poster of the Mysterious Beef you cannot articulate. Laugh on!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MYOB. Our pediatrician told me I could start potty training at 2 and be done at 3 years and 3 months or I could start at 3 and be done at 3 years and 3 months. So, if you knew us, you too would be judging us based on our decision about when to potty train our child. Ours isn't suffering any ill effects and potty training was a breeze.

.

Total agree. You can try to force potty training as much as you want, but it won't happen til the kid is ready. And, not a minute before. DC also became ready at 3 years and 3 mo.

So why until the 1960s were 90% of kids trained before they turned two? In some parts of the world the kids are still trained before two?

What do you think explains this?

I would say a good 70% are now (maybe 80%). And I would say a good 70-80% were then. The difference was how much the 20-30% were shamed for it by their parents in the 60s because it was seen as abnormal. Let's not return to those days. It IS developmentally normal to train in your threes though most are done before.

There is no way 70-80% of kids here are trained by the time they turn two. Not a chance.

Actually, in most of the rest of the world, yes, most kids are trained by 2.

And no "shaming" isn't the only way to potty train. You can train a kid by 2 without "shaming." the fact is before disposable diapers, kids had more of an incentive; they were uncomfortable in a wet/poopy cloth diaper.

You don't have to "force" potty training in order to help a kid be "ready" earlier. You just have to help form habits, adjust incentives. If a kid is completely comfortable all of the time because their modern disposable diapers pretty much keep them comfortable even when they pee or poop their pants, then it will take a lot more for them to be "ready" (such as peer pressure). But if you use cloth diapers or underwear, then there is pretty quickly an incentive to learn how to use the potty -- discomfort. It has nothing to do with shame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is much harder to train a 3 yr old than a 2 yr old. If you wait until 3 then you do have to do child led training. If you train at 2 (early two - 22-26 months) you can do parent led training and get it over with much faster.

You just can't get it into your thick skull that all kids are different. My DS has been in toilet training since 12 months by his old-country grandma where no kids are in diapers by 3, but lots of crapped-on pants are in washing machines. He's 27 months and still shows no interest, despite hours spent on potty.

Are you still using disposable diapers? It isn't just about putting him on the potty. Take away the diapers. When he associates pooping in his pants with being uncomfortable, then he'll show interest in the potty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP seems to think this needs to be done because the kid was mocked by another little kid--she witnessed another child calling this child a baby!
Oh, the horror! As if the other kid wouldn't find some other reason to call a kid "baby!"
And as if the way we respond to playground taunts is to immediately make sure our children conform to whatever the other children think is appropriate!
Hey, OP, if this 3 year old girl is "clearly ready" why doesn't she ask her parents for some underpants? A 3 year old can talk, right? I mean, if she wants to potty train, why would she not tell her parents this?
If it's not clear by now, I think you should MYOB.

OP here. Your question is laughable. In addition to being made fun of, I have detailed examples of her readiness. But are you really saying that if a child does not ask her parents for something it means she is not ready? Seriously? She didn't ask me to make her dinner, give her a bath, or make her take her multivitamin the last time she spent the night at my house but I did those things because she needs them. We are the adults here. I am involved in her life but I have been clear that I am minding my own business and that I am using this thread to sort out my feelings on the subject. Your reading comprehension and reasoning skills are scary.

Oh, OP, you really need to stop talking. How deep can you dig yourself?

OP here. I haven't "dug myself" anywhere. I have been consistent and clear. What are you talking about? Use your words.

I've changed my mind.

You keep talking. I'll keep laughing!

OP here. Insightful and sharply worded, Poster of the Mysterious Beef you cannot articulate. Laugh on!

Thank you! Lololololololol!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MYOB. Our pediatrician told me I could start potty training at 2 and be done at 3 years and 3 months or I could start at 3 and be done at 3 years and 3 months. So, if you knew us, you too would be judging us based on our decision about when to potty train our child. Ours isn't suffering any ill effects and potty training was a breeze.

.

Total agree. You can try to force potty training as much as you want, but it won't happen til the kid is ready. And, not a minute before. DC also became ready at 3 years and 3 mo.

So why until the 1960s were 90% of kids trained before they turned two? In some parts of the world the kids are still trained before two?

What do you think explains this?

Lazy parenting and a ridiculous fear of hurting self-esteem. Unless your child has special needs, there is absolutely no excuse for an untrained three year old. Our preschool wouldn't even let you enroll. Children had to be fully potty trained to attend the three year old program.

All five of mine were completely potty trained - very rare accidents and dry all night, able to go potty with very little assistance - well before three. My sister had all three of her boys completely trained by 20 months.

Nothing at all special or advanced about my kids. And it didn't take months to get them trained. Maybe a month of consistent training.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is much harder to train a 3 yr old than a 2 yr old. If you wait until 3 then you do have to do child led training. If you train at 2 (early two - 22-26 months) you can do parent led training and get it over with much faster.

You just can't get it into your thick skull that all kids are different. My DS has been in toilet training since 12 months by his old-country grandma where no kids are in diapers by 3, but lots of crapped-on pants are in washing machines. He's 27 months and still shows no interest, despite hours spent on potty.

Are you still using disposable diapers? It isn't just about putting him on the potty. Take away the diapers. When he associates pooping in his pants with being uncomfortable, then he'll show interest in the potty.

It's just so touching how you push your theory in the complete absence of facts. I wish I knew you when we had mountains of poop-stained underwear to wash. I wish I knew you when most of my rooms had pee stains. I wish you were around to see my son happily playing as poop was slowly oozing down his leg.

Feel free to come to my house to clean these messes - my son will be happy to make them for you, underwear or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Nothing at all special or advanced about my kids. And it didn't take months to get them trained. Maybe a month of consistent training.

I'd say there is something special about your kids. It's an unusually obnoxious parent.