Not potty-trained at 3...

[Anonymous]

I don't think it is the end of the world, but I do think that there is a distinct possibility that a 3 year old child that is not potty trained is going to experience at least occasional negative reactions from peers.

[Anonymous]

19:48: you are right that I should let it go. I will admit it was hard to see her feelings hurt when her little neighborhood friend made fun of her. I would like to throttle her parents at times like that. Obviously, I am around her often enough to make these observations. Also, an 18 month old to 2 year old can definitely make a wicked mess in a diaper but it is nothing compared to the hell a 3 year old can unleash. I can attest to that.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you should do an intervention OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We trained at just over 3. We had our reasons. MYOB.

+1

[Anonymous]

Op I am with you. Both of my kids were out of diapers by 24 months so I know it can be done with occasional accidents (and no, my children are not exceptional). But I have to agree with PPs that you really can't say anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you should do an intervention OP.

I will get right on that.

[Anonymous]

really not a problem. most kids have to be potty trained by three as that is what the pre-school environment dictates for licensing reasons. some do it earlier, some later. most that are not potty trained by three do it pretty quickly once in school and around others that are farther along. a small thing in the overall scheme of life and its problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I have never and would never say anything, nor is this a problem in my life 19:11. It is definitely a problem in my sweet niece's life, however, and I feel for her. She is ready for training and shows embarrassment about needing her diaper changed. She is the only child in her close and extended peer group who is not trained and I just witnessed her 3 year old next door neighbor call her a baby. Further, I have never before encountered a child who is not trained at that age and I have been around a ton of kids. The occasional slip-up, sure...but no effort to train when she is clearly ready?

Then what is the point of this post?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MYOB. Our pediatrician told me I could start potty training at 2 and be done at 3 years and 3 months or I could start at 3 and be done at 3 years and 3 months. So, if you knew us, you too would be judging us based on our decision about when to potty train our child. Ours isn't suffering any ill effects and potty training was a breeze.

I don't think that is solid professional advice. He/She should have just told you that all children are different, and that becoming toilet trained is developmental--it cannot be forced, follow your kid's individual cue as for their readiness. Ignoring a two-year-old's signs that he he is ready to be trained can actually make the whole process harder in the end.

solid or not, it's pretty accurate in my case. Started with my son at age 2. That was a long rough year of him not being interested, not being ready, fighting it every step of the way. Three years four months he got it, no looking back, hardly any accidents, no problem. I wish I would not have put myself through that frustration ,however, with my daughter I feel like she's just about ready now (at 19 months) and she will likely be trained at two. So, not doing anything when the kid is ready and wants to be trained is just silly. However, I doubt you know the whole story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I have never and would never say anything, nor is this a problem in my life 19:11. It is definitely a problem in my sweet niece's life, however, and I feel for her. She is ready for training and shows embarrassment about needing her diaper changed. She is the only child in her close and extended peer group who is not trained and I just witnessed her 3 year old next door neighbor call her a baby. Further, I have never before encountered a child who is not trained at that age and I have been around a ton of kids. The occasional slip-up, sure...but no effort to train when she is clearly ready?

Then what is the point of this post?

See my original post where I asked if I were being crazy or too harsh. I think it is a problem for my niece but am asking for the anonymous, unfiltered opinions of others. Got it now?

[Anonymous]

In my circle, most of the boys trained by 4, not 3. Lots and lots of kids in diapers at 3. My own son trained at 3.5, in about a week, after two failed starts.

In your case, because she seems ready, you could gently encourage the parents. Or offer to watch her for weekend and do it yourself and surprise them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

In my circle, most of the boys trained by 4, not 3. Lots and lots of kids in diapers at 3. My own son trained at 3.5, in about a week, after two failed starts.

In your case, because she seems ready, you could gently encourage the parents. Or offer to watch her for weekend and do it yourself and surprise them.

I have thought about starting it when I watch her but am so afraid this will be viewed as overstepping. It makes me feel better, I.e. that I am being too harsh, to read that a lot of you have/know kids this age who are not trained.

[Anonymous]

This is one of the most defensive threads I've read in a while. Barring some developmental or other special issues, it is atypical not to be trained at 3, and it's just depressing for the little girl who is ready for it.

OP, could you pull off an innocent question about when she'll get trained?

[Anonymous]

Yeah, is there a reason you haven't simply said, "Larla looks like she's ready for potty training." It would make more sense if you already have a potty trained child (do you?) and perhaps you can offer some advice on how to get started.

[Anonymous]

Gross and weird. But just avoid. Anyone who waits until their kid is three to start potty training is probably pretty annoying with respect to most aspects of parenting. I really just think that it shows very little respect for your child as a person to not teach him/her to do things that are developmentally appropriate.