Do you allow your child to miss school "just because"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is RIDICULOUS to allow your child to miss school to recharge. Go to bed earlier. Skip the video time. Have down time on a weekend. Use early release days to have some down time. My kids don't get these 'personal days' nor do they lie about being sick to try to stay home.

My kids don't get video time. They don't have fancy iPads, electronics, phones, and they don't watch TV. Yes, we're one of THOSE homes. We also don't get "early release days". Except for the day before Thanksgiving, those don't exist. We even go full day the day before winter break and our week long spring break. No complaints. If they need to take a breath and slow it down once in 4 years, I don't have a problem with it. If you do, send your kid to a Schiller with a billion early release days, teacher work days and assorted days off for no reason. Your kids get the breaks anyway, you just don't admit it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband has been seriously ill, with a degenerative disease. We don't know what the prognosis or progression will be.

I admit that I have been a lot more lenient in letting my kids take a day off of school in order to facilitate special family trips or time together as a result. I feel like the future is so uncertain, and right now he is still relatively normal and we can take trips with Daddy.... so I want to make sure the kids have time for that, and for those memories, before things get worse.

I am so sorry that this is your situation. I think you are the exception here and you are entirely justified - I would venture to assume that your childrens' teachers would agree. I hope somehow your situation changes for the better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband has been seriously ill, with a degenerative disease. We don't know what the prognosis or progression will be.

I admit that I have been a lot more lenient in letting my kids take a day off of school in order to facilitate special family trips or time together as a result. I feel like the future is so uncertain, and right now he is still relatively normal and we can take trips with Daddy.... so I want to make sure the kids have time for that, and for those memories, before things get worse.

I am so sorry that this is your situation. I think you are the exception here and you are entirely justified - I would venture to assume that your childrens' teachers would agree. I hope somehow your situation changes for the better.

Thanks, our case is the exception perhaps -- and yes, none of us know the future. I think it is very important to spend time with family, even if no one is seriously ill and you feel the need to make time count. We should all live as if we are trying to make time count. You never know what tomorrow will bring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband has been seriously ill, with a degenerative disease. We don't know what the prognosis or progression will be.

I admit that I have been a lot more lenient in letting my kids take a day off of school in order to facilitate special family trips or time together as a result. I feel like the future is so uncertain, and right now he is still relatively normal and we can take trips with Daddy.... so I want to make sure the kids have time for that, and for those memories, before things get worse.

I am so sorry that this is your situation. I think you are the exception here and you are entirely justified - I would venture to assume that your childrens' teachers would agree. I hope somehow your situation changes for the better.

Thanks, our case is the exception perhaps -- and yes, none of us know the future. I think it is very important to spend time with family, even if no one is seriously ill and you feel the need to make time count. We should all live as if we are trying to make time count. You never know what tomorrow will bring.

Former teacher here who has commented previously that kids should not miss school "just because." Please know that I would absolutely encourage you to do what you've shared here. I had a second grade student whose mom had cancer and wanted to take him and his older brother on a three week long camping trip. Without hesitation, I encouraged her to have that time with her boys. I wish you and your family the very best and hope that perhaps things will turn around for your husband.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP here: The answers to this thread show you that how you were parented influences how you will parent. Those whose parents let them skip school, see no harm and will allow it. Those whose parents did not allow them to skip school, won't allow it. I personally think it is ridiculous unless there is a real reason - seeing a presidential nominee speak, an out of town trip on occasion, etc. would be valid reasons. Going to a store for a sale, would not be. There are PLENTY of school holidays to go arrange things that you may want to do or visit.

Having ready your OP, I didn't think you were going to come out that way. But I agree with you. And I wrote several of the follow the rules posts
several people gave what I thought were special and accepatble reasons for missing one day of school.
Still, many didn't answer the question "what did you tell the school.?" If they said "sick" that is being dishonest.

My parents gave us mental health days. Yes, my mother wrote us notes saying we were sick so that the absence would be excused rather than unexcused. How is this dishonest? Yes, there's no fever involved, but it's a mental health day.

could someone explain this "mental health day" shit? Seriously, going to school makes you mentally ill? Is that what you are saying?

Mental health is not mental illness. You can be mentally unhealthy without being mentally ill and you can be both have a mental illness and be mentally healthy at the same time. A mental health day is a day to take care of your mental health, this might help prevent you from developing a mental illness as poor mental health is a risk factor.

so going to school might make you mentally ill is what you're saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: The answers to this thread show you that how you were parented influences how you will parent. Those whose parents let them skip school, see no harm and will allow it. Those whose parents did not allow them to skip school, won't allow it. I personally think it is ridiculous unless there is a real reason - seeing a presidential nominee speak, an out of town trip on occasion, etc. would be valid reasons. Going to a store for a sale, would not be. There are PLENTY of school holidays to go arrange things that you may want to do or visit.

Having ready your OP, I didn't think you were going to come out that way. But I agree with you. And I wrote several of the follow the rules posts
several people gave what I thought were special and accepatble reasons for missing one day of school.
Still, many didn't answer the question "what did you tell the school.?" If they said "sick" that is being dishonest.

My parents gave us mental health days. Yes, my mother wrote us notes saying we were sick so that the absence would be excused rather than unexcused. How is this dishonest? Yes, there's no fever involved, but it's a mental health day.

could someone explain this "mental health day" shit? Seriously, going to school makes you mentally ill? Is that what you are saying?

Mental health is not mental illness. You can be mentally unhealthy without being mentally ill and you can be both have a mental illness and be mentally healthy at the same time. A mental health day is a day to take care of your mental health, this might help prevent you from developing a mental illness as poor mental health is a risk factor.

so going to school might make you mentally ill is what you're saying.

Absolutely it contributes. I work on an inpatient psychiatric unit for teens and we see many suicide attempts that were the precipitating factor was school stress. Lots of other kids with depression and anxiety where school stress is one of the main underlying factors. It is important that kids (especially those who are high achievers, and perfectionists who put pressure on themselves to be successful at everything and are terrified of letting others down) know that school isn't everything. That they are not defined as a person by their academic success or by the college they get into. Taking a rare day off (at the right time) to decompress and relax can help.

[Anonymous]

"I think it is RIDICULOUS to allow your child to miss school to recharge. Go to bed earlier. Skip the video time. Have down time on a weekend. Use early release days to have some down time. My kids don't get these 'personal days' nor do they lie about being sick to try to stay home."

Really? My kid's being bullied right now and the teacher isn't being helpful. You better believe that if this keeps up and I think a day or two away from school is needed, I'll do it in a heartbeat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I think it is RIDICULOUS to allow your child to miss school to recharge. Go to bed earlier. Skip the video time. Have down time on a weekend. Use early release days to have some down time. My kids don't get these 'personal days' nor do they lie about being sick to try to stay home."

Really? My kid's being bullied right now and the teacher isn't being helpful. You better believe that if this keeps up and I think a day or two away from school is needed, I'll do it in a heartbeat.

several people have given understandable case-specific reasons - but I think the OP was asking if you would do it "just because." Seems like most said "no" but a few said sure, why not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I think it is RIDICULOUS to allow your child to miss school to recharge. Go to bed earlier. Skip the video time. Have down time on a weekend. Use early release days to have some down time. My kids don't get these 'personal days' nor do they lie about being sick to try to stay home."

Really? My kid's being bullied right now and the teacher isn't being helpful. You better believe that if this keeps up and I think a day or two away from school is needed, I'll do it in a heartbeat.

A day off from facing a hard battle...makes mono sense. Other coping mechanisms Need to be taught...other solutions need to be saught.

[Anonymous]

If typical workers and typicacl teachers get to take personal days, why can't typical students get similar personal days?

[Anonymous]

How about to take my daughter bowling and lunch on a Tuesday because I had the time? We just did that a few weeks ago. She still has good grades and excels in sports.

[Anonymous]

Damn. All you parents talking about how school is a 'job' and kids have to learn a proper 'work ethic' make me scared for our kids. They're children. Calm your lives down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: The answers to this thread show you that how you were parented influences how you will parent. Those whose parents let them skip school, see no harm and will allow it. Those whose parents did not allow them to skip school, won't allow it. I personally think it is ridiculous unless there is a real reason - seeing a presidential nominee speak, an out of town trip on occasion, etc. would be valid reasons. Going to a store for a sale, would not be. There are PLENTY of school holidays to go arrange things that you may want to do or visit.

Having ready your OP, I didn't think you were going to come out that way. But I agree with you. And I wrote several of the follow the rules posts
several people gave what I thought were special and accepatble reasons for missing one day of school.
Still, many didn't answer the question "what did you tell the school.?" If they said "sick" that is being dishonest.

My parents gave us mental health days. Yes, my mother wrote us notes saying we were sick so that the absence would be excused rather than unexcused. How is this dishonest? Yes, there's no fever involved, but it's a mental health day.

could someone explain this "mental health day" shit? Seriously, going to school makes you mentally ill? Is that what you are saying?

Mental health is not mental illness. You can be mentally unhealthy without being mentally ill and you can be both have a mental illness and be mentally healthy at the same time. A mental health day is a day to take care of your mental health, this might help prevent you from developing a mental illness as poor mental health is a risk factor.

so going to school might make you mentally ill is what you're saying.

Absolutely it contributes. I work on an inpatient psychiatric unit for teens and we see many suicide attempts that were the precipitating factor was school stress. Lots of other kids with depression and anxiety where school stress is one of the main underlying factors. It is important that kids (especially those who are high achievers, and perfectionists who put pressure on themselves to be successful at everything and are terrified of letting others down) know that school isn't everything. That they are not defined as a person by their academic success or by the college they get into. Taking a rare day off (at the right time) to decompress and relax can help.

From many of the DCUM posts I've read about the focus on academics, achievement, and college applications, I think there are quite a few parents who contribute to these feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about to take my daughter bowling and lunch on a Tuesday because I had the time? We just did that a few weeks ago. She still has good grades and excels in sports.

Yes, how about that? I think it is awful. Her grades aren't the issue. Her excelling at sports isn't the issue. Unless there is a reason, my child doesn't miss soccer practice even though she is on a great soccer team and is a star player. We don't miss commitments 'just because'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If typical workers and typicacl teachers get to take personal days, why can't typical students get similar personal days?

Because that is built into a typical contact, but it is not built into the requirements of mandatory school attendance. Next question?