Do you allow your child to miss school "just because"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been thinking about this thread a lot (I responded above as a former teacher) and my beliefs on this stem from the fact that I almost lost my brother in a horrible accident. Since then, I have always been a "why not" person because life is short and unpredictable.

I have been thinking about that poor eight year old who lost his life in Boston. Whose sister and mother are seriously injured. Do you think that family worries about how many school days he missed in is brief lifetime, or the memories that they shared together?

The moments you get to share with your children are precious, make special plans with them now, take them on adventures when you can- it is what truly matters in this crazy world.

we do all this. On the days off school. There are probably 180 them a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: The answers to this thread show you that how you were parented influences how you will parent. Those whose parents let them skip school, see no harm and will allow it. Those whose parents did not allow them to skip school, won't allow it. I personally think it is ridiculous unless there is a real reason - seeing a presidential nominee speak, an out of town trip on occasion, etc. would be valid reasons. Going to a store for a sale, would not be. There are PLENTY of school holidays to go arrange things that you may want to do or visit.

Having ready your OP, I didn't think you were going to come out that way. But I agree with you. And I wrote several of the follow the rules posts
several people gave what I thought were special and accepatble reasons for missing one day of school.
Still, many didn't answer the question "what did you tell the school.?" If they said "sick" that is being dishonest.

My parents gave us mental health days. Yes, my mother wrote us notes saying we were sick so that the absence would be excused rather than unexcused. How is this dishonest? Yes, there's no fever involved, but it's a mental health day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: The answers to this thread show you that how you were parented influences how you will parent. Those whose parents let them skip school, see no harm and will allow it. Those whose parents did not allow them to skip school, won't allow it. I personally think it is ridiculous unless there is a real reason - seeing a presidential nominee speak, an out of town trip on occasion, etc. would be valid reasons. Going to a store for a sale, would not be. There are PLENTY of school holidays to go arrange things that you may want to do or visit.

Having ready your OP, I didn't think you were going to come out that way. But I agree with you. And I wrote several of the follow the rules posts
several people gave what I thought were special and accepatble reasons for missing one day of school.
Still, many didn't answer the question "what did you tell the school.?" If they said "sick" that is being dishonest.

My parents gave us mental health days. Yes, my mother wrote us notes saying we were sick so that the absence would be excused rather than unexcused. How is this dishonest? Yes, there's no fever involved, but it's a mental health day.

could someone explain this "mental health day" shit? Seriously, going to school makes you mentally ill? Is that what you are saying?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

could someone explain this "mental health day" shit? Seriously, going to school makes you mentally ill? Is that what you are saying?

It's part of the Me Me Me culture. "Be kind to yourself." Thinking that burnout is to be prevented by skimping on responsibilities. Etc.

I don't do "just because" days, nor do I lie about the reason for missing school. But I do take my kid out of school for a special occasion, maybe once or twice a year, at most.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: The answers to this thread show you that how you were parented influences how you will parent. Those whose parents let them skip school, see no harm and will allow it. Those whose parents did not allow them to skip school, won't allow it. I personally think it is ridiculous unless there is a real reason - seeing a presidential nominee speak, an out of town trip on occasion, etc. would be valid reasons. Going to a store for a sale, would not be. There are PLENTY of school holidays to go arrange things that you may want to do or visit.

Having ready your OP, I didn't think you were going to come out that way. But I agree with you. And I wrote several of the follow the rules posts
several people gave what I thought were special and accepatble reasons for missing one day of school.
Still, many didn't answer the question "what did you tell the school.?" If they said "sick" that is being dishonest.

My parents gave us mental health days. Yes, my mother wrote us notes saying we were sick so that the absence would be excused rather than unexcused. How is this dishonest? Yes, there's no fever involved, but it's a mental health day.

could someone explain this "mental health day" shit? Seriously, going to school makes you mentally ill? Is that what you are saying?

Yes. That is what I am saying. I mean for us yes. Not sure that is true for everybody.

I will do a mental health day or let them sleep in if it is needed. I let them stay up for the Super Bowl and go in an hour late. I let them spend the weekend at grandma's and drive back on Monday, get to school at 9 instead of 8. It's only a few times a year.

We don't lie about it. I will even let the teachers know - we are watching the Super Bowl - kids will be an hour late - they appreciate that the kid is not tired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been thinking about this thread a lot (I responded above as a former teacher) and my beliefs on this stem from the fact that I almost lost my brother in a horrible accident. Since then, I have always been a "why not" person because life is short and unpredictable.

I have been thinking about that poor eight year old who lost his life in Boston. Whose sister and mother are seriously injured. Do you think that family worries about how many school days he missed in is brief lifetime, or the memories that they shared together?

The moments you get to share with your children are precious, make special plans with them now, take them on adventures when you can- it is what truly matters in this crazy world.

we do all this. On the days off school. There are probably 180 them a year.

My kids don't have 180 days off a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: The answers to this thread show you that how you were parented influences how you will parent. Those whose parents let them skip school, see no harm and will allow it. Those whose parents did not allow them to skip school, won't allow it. I personally think it is ridiculous unless there is a real reason - seeing a presidential nominee speak, an out of town trip on occasion, etc. would be valid reasons. Going to a store for a sale, would not be. There are PLENTY of school holidays to go arrange things that you may want to do or visit.

Having ready your OP, I didn't think you were going to come out that way. But I agree with you. And I wrote several of the follow the rules posts
several people gave what I thought were special and accepatble reasons for missing one day of school.
Still, many didn't answer the question "what did you tell the school.?" If they said "sick" that is being dishonest.

My parents gave us mental health days. Yes, my mother wrote us notes saying we were sick so that the absence would be excused rather than unexcused. How is this dishonest? Yes, there's no fever involved, but it's a mental health day.

could someone explain this "mental health day" shit? Seriously, going to school makes you mentally ill? Is that what you are saying?

I had never heard of a "mental health day" until I went to college in the late 80's / early 90's. I was totally over stressed and over loaded and cut a class. I was feeling terrible about it and some said it was a "mental health day" The problem was that missing class just added to my stress.

[Anonymous]

OP here: The answers to this thread show you that how you were parented influences how you will parent. Those whose parents let them skip school, see no harm and will allow it. Those whose parents did not allow them to skip school, won't allow it. I personally think it is ridiculous unless there is a real reason - seeing a presidential nominee speak, an out of town trip on occasion, etc. would be valid reasons.

My parents never let me skip school unless I was sick. I occasionally allow my son to take days off for us to spend together. Whether your parents allowed you to do it does not determine whether you will allow your kid to do it.

[Anonymous]

I am a "mental health day" parent. I'm also the poster who said that with 3 kids only 2 have ever done it and each one has only done it once. First, my kids are not in public school, so there are no teacher work days, half days, 180 days off a year whatever. They don't get to do it if they have anything due or a test that day. We don't use it as a day to travel, they stay home and regroup, catch up on sleep, and recharge. Sometimes they even catch up on a project for school during part of the day. The point is, they learn never to lie about being sick to get out of school, and I think that's the most important lesson. Missed school means having to catch up on what they've missed. They learn that.

[Anonymous]

I think it is RIDICULOUS to allow your child to miss school to recharge. Go to bed earlier. Skip the video time. Have down time on a weekend. Use early release days to have some down time. My kids don't get these 'personal days' nor do they lie about being sick to try to stay home.

[Anonymous]

after reading the whole thread I'm convinced. I'm going to give DC a day off to just screw around and do whatever. I mean if this is what they remember so favorably years from now don't we all want that? To be their buddy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:after reading the whole thread I'm convinced. I'm going to give DC a day off to just screw around and do whatever. I mean if this is what they remember so favorably years from now don't we all want that? To be their buddy?

No, we don't. I have lots of favorable memories...like family vacations, weekend time, etc. a special memory for a kid doesn't happen just because you let him skip school....it happened because of what was happening that day. Make those memories on legitimate days off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:after reading the whole thread I'm convinced. I'm going to give DC a day off to just screw around and do whatever. I mean if this is what they remember so favorably years from now don't we all want that? To be their buddy?

I wouldn't let your child take a day off to spend time with you! They'd be better off going to school, in your particular case.

[Anonymous]

My husband has been seriously ill, with a degenerative disease. We don't know what the prognosis or progression will be.

I admit that I have been a lot more lenient in letting my kids take a day off of school in order to facilitate special family trips or time together as a result. I feel like the future is so uncertain, and right now he is still relatively normal and we can take trips with Daddy.... so I want to make sure the kids have time for that, and for those memories, before things get worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: The answers to this thread show you that how you were parented influences how you will parent. Those whose parents let them skip school, see no harm and will allow it. Those whose parents did not allow them to skip school, won't allow it. I personally think it is ridiculous unless there is a real reason - seeing a presidential nominee speak, an out of town trip on occasion, etc. would be valid reasons. Going to a store for a sale, would not be. There are PLENTY of school holidays to go arrange things that you may want to do or visit.

Having ready your OP, I didn't think you were going to come out that way. But I agree with you. And I wrote several of the follow the rules posts
several people gave what I thought were special and accepatble reasons for missing one day of school.
Still, many didn't answer the question "what did you tell the school.?" If they said "sick" that is being dishonest.

My parents gave us mental health days. Yes, my mother wrote us notes saying we were sick so that the absence would be excused rather than unexcused. How is this dishonest? Yes, there's no fever involved, but it's a mental health day.

could someone explain this "mental health day" shit? Seriously, going to school makes you mentally ill? Is that what you are saying?

Mental health is not mental illness. You can be mentally unhealthy without being mentally ill and you can be both have a mental illness and be mentally healthy at the same time. A mental health day is a day to take care of your mental health, this might help prevent you from developing a mental illness as poor mental health is a risk factor.