Do you allow your child to miss school "just because"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If typical workers and typicacl teachers get to take personal days, why can't typical students get similar personal days?

Because that is built into a typical contact, but it is not built into the requirements of mandatory school attendance. Next question?

Well, it should be! Who negotiates for students? They need a union!

[Anonymous]

As with most things in life, moderation and consideration of context is everything. I see nothing wrong in occasional departures from responsibilities and expectations. What is life about anyway? No just following rules, that is for sure.

At the same time, I counsel students for a living and have seen damage done when parents are too lenient about the rules, including student attendance and honoring commitments. Some of the college students I work with are just accustomed to skipping school or having other exceptions made for them, and they have no idea what to do when they eventually encounter a situation where there is no leeway given and they must toe the line or else. The world won't always bend to your will. You either accommodate, or you make excuses and accept the consequences.

[Anonymous]

There were very rigid criteria around this for me when I was a child, but yes, I got one or two days off a year with my mom. The reality is, we all need a sanity check. It's so important for children to learn rules and responsibilities, but it's also important for them to learn that breaking SOME rules is ok, too. I was never allowed to do this if I had a test or homework due that day, and I think that's the key. It was not TOTAL irresponsibility, it was enjoying the day, within the structure of being aware of our duties. If nothing was due that day, and if there were no tests, once or twice a year my mom would take me out in Manhattan, or to the park, and we just enjoy being together. Some of my happiest memories...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There were very rigid criteria around this for me when I was a child, but yes, I got one or two days off a year with my mom. The reality is, we all need a sanity check. It's so important for children to learn rules and responsibilities, but it's also important for them to learn that breaking SOME rules is ok, too. I was never allowed to do this if I had a test or homework due that day, and I think that's the key. It was not TOTAL irresponsibility, it was enjoying the day, within the structure of being aware of our duties. If nothing was due that day, and if there were no tests, once or twice a year my mom would take me out in Manhattan, or to the park, and we just enjoy being together. Some of my happiest memories...

I had great memories with my parents. All of them were during non-school hours!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There were very rigid criteria around this for me when I was a child, but yes, I got one or two days off a year with my mom. The reality is, we all need a sanity check. It's so important for children to learn rules and responsibilities, but it's also important for them to learn that breaking SOME rules is ok, too. I was never allowed to do this if I had a test or homework due that day, and I think that's the key. It was not TOTAL irresponsibility, it was enjoying the day, within the structure of being aware of our duties. If nothing was due that day, and if there were no tests, once or twice a year my mom would take me out in Manhattan, or to the park, and we just enjoy being together. Some of my happiest memories...

+1. I would never let dc stay home from school simply because he didn't feel like going, or was tired because he stayed up late. In fact, he almost never misses school for illness and ALWAYS has his homework done. However, we have a tradition of taking one day off a year (when he doesn't have a test or other commitment) and spending the day together doing something interesting. It's a wonderful bonding time for us, and the fact that we're doing something a little bit naughty is part of the fun. My child is very much a rule follower, and I think it is good for him to see that it is ok to bend the rules under some circumstances. My mother was a (very strict) teacher, and she always said she would worry about her children if they never got into trouble. To slightly amend the quote: "Completely well-behaved children never make history."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not talking about due to an out of town trip or a true illness. I am talking about to just have a fun day off? If so, what do you tell the school is the reason for the absence?

Never! DC loves school and would miss her friend's unless we were traveling for some reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We do 2 mental health days a year for the kids. All they have to do is come to me and say they need it and I spend the day with them getting them back to center.
I think people need to learn how to take care of themselves and this is part of that. I sometimes need to take a day off and get myself back to center so I am fine with them doing the same as long as I am here to help. Also, I believe it has shown them that they can trust me and I will be there for them.
They are hardly ever sick and they also have never pretended to be sick. FWIW my parents did this for me too...[/quote

What does helping them get back to center look like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do 2 mental health days a year for the kids. All they have to do is come to me and say they need it and I spend the day with them getting them back to center.
I think people need to learn how to take care of themselves and this is part of that. I sometimes need to take a day off and get myself back to center so I am fine with them doing the same as long as I am here to help. Also, I believe it has shown them that they can trust me and I will be there for them.
They are hardly ever sick and they also have never pretended to be sick. FWIW my parents did this for me too...[/quote

What does helping them get back to center look like?

PP, what do you use the weekends for?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not talking about due to an out of town trip or a true illness. I am talking about to just have a fun day off? If so, what do you tell the school is the reason for the absence?

I think it sends a poor subliminal message to children when you allow them to take time off from school just to have a fun day. My kids would probably look at me strangely anyway if I posed that option to them and may even ask me why. Plus, I could see my daughter telling one of her friends at school, who might ask where she was the next day, that "Mommy let me take a fun day" so that when she is out of school, even for a sick day, her friend might blurt out to the teacher, "Jodie is probably taking a fun day". I want them to develop a good work ethic and that starts with school and hopefully be enhanced over their academic career and into professional life. I get up and go to work even when I don't feel like it because I want to set a good example for my kids. I will occasionally take a day off to get things done or pamper myself but I choose those days carefully. I don't know any children at my kids' school who take fun days or miss school due to reasons other than illness or family travel. Use the weekends and holidays for your fun days.

[Anonymous]

Never. I also think it is RIDICULOUS when people do this. They talk on this board like the only way to have wonderful family memories is if it was during a day parents set aside to be truant. Hogwash. If your childhood was based on great memories from a day or two here or there when you could knowingly skip school to spend time with a parent doing something in-town, I'm sorry for you.

[Anonymous]

Yes...we've gone to Hershey Park, Ski liberty, Lurray Caverns or the Baltimore Aquarium....its only a few times a year and its really no big deal from the schools point of view, but a huge deal from my kids point of view. They love and enjoy these (usually surprise) treks and we get much needed time to enjoy being a family. Sometimes I take them out for the entire day, other times I build our little trips around a scheduled half-day. And no, I don't tell the schools the kids are sick...I don't offer to tell them anything. If they ask were they sick, I say no. If they ask why they were out I say we had a family issue to tend to...simple as that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes...we've gone to Hershey Park, Ski liberty, Lurray Caverns or the Baltimore Aquarium....its only a few times a year and its really no big deal from the schools point of view, but a huge deal from my kids point of view. They love and enjoy these (usually surprise) treks and we get much needed time to enjoy being a family. Sometimes I take them out for the entire day, other times I build our little trips around a scheduled half-day. And no, I don't tell the schools the kids are sick...I don't offer to tell them anything. If they ask were they sick, I say no. If they ask why they were out I say we had a family issue to tend to...simple as that.

Where my DC goes to school they distinguish between excused and unexcused absences. The absence you mention above are unexcused. If you say you have "family issues to tend to" you are being misleading at best, and lying at worst.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never. I also think it is RIDICULOUS when people do this. They talk on this board like the only way to have wonderful family memories is if it was during a day parents set aside to be truant. Hogwash. If your childhood was based on great memories from a day or two here or there when you could knowingly skip school to spend time with a parent doing something in-town, I'm sorry for you.

these people are mavericks dontcha know? Following the rules are for suckers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never. I also think it is RIDICULOUS when people do this. They talk on this board like the only way to have wonderful family memories is if it was during a day parents set aside to be truant. Hogwash. If your childhood was based on great memories from a day or two here or there when you could knowingly skip school to spend time with a parent doing something in-town, I'm sorry for you.

these people are mavericks dontcha know? Following the rules are for suckers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes...we've gone to Hershey Park, Ski liberty, Lurray Caverns or the Baltimore Aquarium....its only a few times a year and its really no big deal from the schools point of view, but a huge deal from my kids point of view. They love and enjoy these (usually surprise) treks and we get much needed time to enjoy being a family. Sometimes I take them out for the entire day, other times I build our little trips around a scheduled half-day. And no, I don't tell the schools the kids are sick...I don't offer to tell them anything. If they ask were they sick, I say no. If they ask why they were out I say we had a family issue to tend to...simple as that.

Where my DC goes to school they distinguish between excused and unexcused absences. The absence you mention above are unexcused. If you say you have "family issues to tend to" you are being misleading at best, and lying at worst.

Agreed - if it is "no big deal from the schools [sic] point of view," it is because you have mislead them about the reasoning for the absence. Why not be honest and tell the school, "I let the kids skip school a few times a year for a family day"?