women who don't work or raise kids

[Anonymous]

I know a woman like that. She is in her late 30s apparently (don't know the exact age) and from another country. She stopped working when they were about to immigrate, and she says DH did not want her to work ever since. She went to college in the US to get a second degree, but did not show up at her finals because her DH booked a vacation for those dates and would not change them (!!!!!)
I am really fascinated by her in some ways...they are TTC, and she asked me and my DH not to offer her DH to go out for drinks, since they don't drink any alcohol. I mean, I have no problem with that, but the no offering part?
She is also "on duty" for her husband 24/7 it seems. We were once going hiking and she asked me if we could stop by her house on our way because she needed to serve DH his dinner (!!!!!)
Also, she was with a mutual friend once and they had to take a detour on the way to wherever they were heading because her husband forgot his camera and there was some famous person visiting his workplace, so she had to bring him the camera.
She spends her days in cooking, cleaning, and shopping - for herself, her relatives, his relatives (stocking up on presents for visits), and grocery shopping - she would go to several stores a day to find the best deals and the exact products she was looking for.
She also has hoarding tendencies I think - she buys all those presents, and also all those things "for the home" like candles, vases, pictures, statuettes, etc etc.
She is also a bit weird, I can't explain, it is just the way she acts or explains things...However she is very kind hearted and nice to talk to...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked that there are women who actually enjoy the stress and headache of working 40+ THEN doing all the SAHM stuff.

What time are you working Moms getting home? It it after 5PM?

This post is a joke, right? I'm gone 7:30 am until 6 or 7 pm. I don't do "SAHM stuff." You don't seriously think that I cook meals from scratch every night, do all my own laundry, shopping, cleaning, bill paying, lawn and car maintenance...do you?

I work and I do all of the things you derisively dismiss as beneath you. And the PP has a point. Not all of us enjoy our jobs 100% or make enough money to have a stable of staff to take care of our lives for us.

They're not "beneath me." I'm out of the house too much to do all those things. Are you gone 55 or more weeks due to work + commute and still can't afford to contract a lot of that out? If you have a choice, seems to me you spend time or money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked that there are women who actually enjoy the stress and headache of working 40+ THEN doing all the SAHM stuff.

What time are you working Moms getting home? It it after 5PM?

This post is a joke, right? I'm gone 7:30 am until 6 or 7 pm. I don't do "SAHM stuff." You don't seriously think that I cook meals from scratch every night, do all my own laundry, shopping, cleaning, bill paying, lawn and car maintenance...do you?

I work and I do all of the things you derisively dismiss as beneath you. And the PP has a point. Not all of us enjoy our jobs 100% or make enough money to have a stable of staff to take care of our lives for us.

Ditto. NP here. That is why I feel like I am a workhorse, constantly being flogged, dragging on day after day, in sheer exhaustion. I'd love to cut the work part out and just do all the home stuff.

Giving up the work part is NOT the answer. Getting your family to help more or doing less if you can't afford paid help is the way to go. You don't want to jeopardize your retirement for a little more free time.

[Anonymous]

Staying at home without kids sounds wonderful. I am sure I could easily fill my day. I used to be really, really good at a sport and could happily train for that every day. If I had, maybe I could have been on the Team and you could all be commenting on my bad hair and large thighs. If only...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Between the economy and the divorce rates in this country, women who get comfortable not working and living off someone else are in for an incredibly rude awakening when they have no skills and need to make their own living.

It's a terrible thing to plan for, yet odds are good, these days, that something is going to burst the SAH bubble.

A smart woman has a plan and doesn't settle for reading magazines, sleeping in, or working out. These won't pay the bills.

I was thinking the same thing. What are these women going to do when they get divorced? How will they ever retire since they just wasted years of their life not working when there was no good reason they shouldn't be? My parents divorced when I was young and my mother had been a SAHM. My grandparents moved in with us so my mom could go back to school for a few yrs. Now my mom worked until my brother and I were born so she really doesn't fit into the category of married women who don't work but also don't have kids.

[Anonymous]

I heard two good looking twentysomethings talking on the metro about their girlfriends. They apparently had girlfriends who just decided to stop working after they got engaged... The men were commiserating but also totally defending the women and all I could think was 'sure jobs and people can suck but get over it, suck it up and join life. When the going really gets hard, how will they deal with actual problems??'

I listened to the whole thing fighting the urge to say "I'm a female so let me tell you... RUN..." if this is as together as she is now, then trust me, it won't change when she's suddenly married.

I couldn't help but think these guys were either messed up somehow themselves, or that the women were really good in bed... until I heard the conversatioin veer toward the lack of sex. I don't get it. I'm attracted to strong capable people so I don't get it either. It's not a financial issue. Lots of us work, who don't have to.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it is a trend in the 20 something generation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most women in my experience who don't work but have no kids (or ill relatives), to put it bluntly, are too low on the IQ scale to have any intellectual pursuits - staying home and doing nothing but shopping, cooking/cleaning, talking on the phone, going to the beach, and facebooking is more than enough to fill all of their time and satisfy their intellectual hunger.

Of course, I have seen posts on here of SAH wives who find what to me sound like more interesting things to fill the time, but these women are surely in the minority (and are clearly of more than average or below average intelligence).

Exactly! I know one woman who doesn't work and doesn't have kids, and she wouldn't be able to find and hold a job if her life depended on it. And she's not a bad person, just not the smartest tool in the shed. So she's really lucky she was able to get married and find someone who pays her bills. At least, for now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women in my experience who don't work but have no kids (or ill relatives), to put it bluntly, are too low on the IQ scale to have any intellectual pursuits - staying home and doing nothing but shopping, cooking/cleaning, talking on the phone, going to the beach, and facebooking is more than enough to fill all of their time and satisfy their intellectual hunger.

Of course, I have seen posts on here of SAH wives who find what to me sound like more interesting things to fill the time, but these women are surely in the minority (and are clearly of more than average or below average intelligence).

Exactly! I know one woman who doesn't work and doesn't have kids, and she wouldn't be able to find and hold a job if her life depended on it. And she's not a bad person, just not the smartest tool in the shed. So she's really lucky she was able to get married and find someone who pays her bills. At least, for now.

Women who don't work MUST be dumb.

[Anonymous]

I have never worked since the day i I said "I do".
I am happy to help my working friends when they are in a bind.
What is the expression they use today, "haters gonna hate"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women in my experience who don't work but have no kids (or ill relatives), to put it bluntly, are too low on the IQ scale to have any intellectual pursuits - staying home and doing nothing but shopping, cooking/cleaning, talking on the phone, going to the beach, and facebooking is more than enough to fill all of their time and satisfy their intellectual hunger.

Of course, I have seen posts on here of SAH wives who find what to me sound like more interesting things to fill the time, but these women are surely in the minority (and are clearly of more than average or below average intelligence).

Exactly! I know one woman who doesn't work and doesn't have kids, and she wouldn't be able to find and hold a job if her life depended on it. And she's not a bad person, just not the smartest tool in the shed. So she's really lucky she was able to get married and find someone who pays her bills. At least, for now.

I know a woman who has no intellectual pursuits, and she has a college engineering degree from a good school. She is quite disorganized and not at all a planner. I suspect she doesn't work due to anxiety or other mild mental health issues, not due to a lack of intelligence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never worked since the day i I said "I do".
I am happy to help my working friends when they are in a bind.
What is the expression they use today, "haters gonna hate"?

Do you have education beyond high school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked that there are women who actually enjoy the stress and headache of working 40+ THEN doing all the SAHM stuff.

What time are you working Moms getting home? It it after 5PM?

This post is a joke, right? I'm gone 7:30 am until 6 or 7 pm. I don't do "SAHM stuff." You don't seriously think that I cook meals from scratch every night, do all my own laundry, shopping, cleaning, bill paying, lawn and car maintenance...do you?

I work and I do all of the things you derisively dismiss as beneath you. And the PP has a point. Not all of us enjoy our jobs 100% or make enough money to have a stable of staff to take care of our lives for us.

Ditto. NP here. That is why I feel like I am a workhorse, constantly being flogged, dragging on day after day, in sheer exhaustion. I'd love to cut the work part out and just do all the home stuff.

Giving up the work part is NOT the answer. Getting your family to help more or doing less if you can't afford paid help is the way to go. You don't want to jeopardize your retirement for a little more free time.

I disagree. I'm not postponing my happiness NOW for the eventual payoff when I'm 60 or 65.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women in my experience who don't work but have no kids (or ill relatives), to put it bluntly, are too low on the IQ scale to have any intellectual pursuits - staying home and doing nothing but shopping, cooking/cleaning, talking on the phone, going to the beach, and facebooking is more than enough to fill all of their time and satisfy their intellectual hunger.

Of course, I have seen posts on here of SAH wives who find what to me sound like more interesting things to fill the time, but these women are surely in the minority (and are clearly of more than average or below average intelligence).

Exactly! I know one woman who doesn't work and doesn't have kids, and she wouldn't be able to find and hold a job if her life depended on it. And she's not a bad person, just not the smartest tool in the shed. So she's really lucky she was able to get married and find someone who pays her bills. At least, for now.

Wow....why do you even have an opinion? Maybe there is something you don't know going on with the woman you know. It sounds to me as if you wish you were "lucky"....and you are not. Did you marry a looser, or are you just insecure?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have never worked since the day i I said "I do".
I am happy to help my working friends when they are in a bind.
What is the expression they use today, "haters gonna hate"?

Do you have education beyond high school?

Yes, a masters degree. Why do you care?