women who don't work or raise kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Indentured servitude. Hope he doesn't die or leave you. What kills me is that stay-at-homers with grad degrees their parents paid for. Good use of money!

Why does that kill you? Did you have to pay your own way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Indentured servitude. Hope he doesn't die or leave you. What kills me is that stay-at-homers with grad degrees their parents paid for. Good use of money!

I know one of these. First in her law class at Harvard - spends her time playing tennis and doing crafts at church. What a waste of $$.

It's not a waste of money. I think of my brain as a place I have to be all the time. I want it to be an interesting place. So I like to learn things. Otherwise, when I'm waiting for a friend who's running late, I'd just zone out. Instead, I can think up a new business and then, thanks to my education, mentally write the business plan for it. Much more fun.

This is such a ridiculous response I don't even know where to begin.

You are the ridiculous one. Are you also saying that women who have college degrees and choose to eventually stay at home have wasted money? I, for one, don't think education is ever a waste. My DH went to a top law school and paid a pretty penny. Afterwards he realized law school wasn't for him. He now makes more money than he ever would have in law, and, most importantly, loves what he does.

I said graduate degrees. Shockingly, you misunderstood/misread it.

Also, your argument makes absolutely no sense. This thread is about people who never worked, so your "eventually" comment holds no water. As mentioned above, I said graduate degrees. And your comment about your DH makes no sense either! Was LAW not for him? Or law SCHOOL? And what does that have to do with him eventually making more money? Oh my lord, you are dense. Good thing you're not in the workforce.

Ha! Thanks for making me laugh, oh wise one! You sound really angry and bitter. At least I'm happy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Indentured servitude. Hope he doesn't die or leave you. What kills me is that stay-at-homers with grad degrees their parents paid for. Good use of money!

Why does that kill you? Did you have to pay your own way?

Nope. But you sound lovely.

[Anonymous]

Are we seriously having this debate again, ladies? Hasn't it been rehashed enough?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked that there are women who actually enjoy the stress and headache of working 40+ THEN doing all the SAHM stuff.

What time are you working Moms getting home? It it after 5PM?

This post is a joke, right? I'm gone 7:30 am until 6 or 7 pm. I don't do "SAHM stuff." You don't seriously think that I cook meals from scratch every night, do all my own laundry, shopping, cleaning, bill paying, lawn and car maintenance...do you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Indentured servitude. Hope he doesn't die or leave you. What kills me is that stay-at-homers with grad degrees their parents paid for. Good use of money!

Why does that kill you? Did you have to pay your own way?

Nope. But you sound lovely.

The other poster is right. You do sound bitter and unhappy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Indentured servitude. Hope he doesn't die or leave you. What kills me is that stay-at-homers with grad degrees their parents paid for. Good use of money!

I know one of these. First in her law class at Harvard - spends her time playing tennis and doing crafts at church. What a waste of $$.

So she graduated first in her class at Harvard Law then got married and just plays tennis and does crafts? Never worked or had kids? Something doesn't add up here.

Sorry, I didn't mention, she has kids now. And a housekeeper/nanny.
Met her husband interviewing for her first job at a law firm (he was the youngest partner), so she never got the job, but she got the husband.

So clearly she intended to work, but then got a better offer (?) from her future husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you "fill up the day" with when you're not working and don't have kids?

Tons of stuff! Travel, work out, get together with friends, take random classes that interest me (like right now I'm taking a cooking class), go to the beach house, read books, go shopping.
All those things you wish you could do but don't have time for because you're working? I do them. Plus, I'm not exhausted when DH gets home from work!

Sounds pretty good to me, actually.

Yeah for a month. How much shopping can you really do? And how many friends can you get together with during the day who are ALSO not working or busy with their kids?

I guarantee you that I could find much more than shopping to fill my time with. Like rehabbing our 90-year old home. Or gardening. Volunteering. Spending more time with my kid. Reading! I mean really, with a kid, I'm lucky to make it through the New Yorker each week, never mind novels. Making sure the shopping and housework are done before the weekend so I can spend time having fun with my family instead. I realize I am not the married wo kids woman that this thread is about, but I'm a little envious. And obviously daydreaming about being a SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked that there are women who actually enjoy the stress and headache of working 40+ THEN doing all the SAHM stuff.

What time are you working Moms getting home? It it after 5PM?

This post is a joke, right? I'm gone 7:30 am until 6 or 7 pm. I don't do "SAHM stuff." You don't seriously think that I cook meals from scratch every night, do all my own laundry, shopping, cleaning, bill paying, lawn and car maintenance...do you?

I work and I do all of the things you derisively dismiss as beneath you. And the PP has a point. Not all of us enjoy our jobs 100% or make enough money to have a stable of staff to take care of our lives for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked that there are women who actually enjoy the stress and headache of working 40+ THEN doing all the SAHM stuff.

What time are you working Moms getting home? It it after 5PM?

This post is a joke, right? I'm gone 7:30 am until 6 or 7 pm. I don't do "SAHM stuff." You don't seriously think that I cook meals from scratch every night, do all my own laundry, shopping, cleaning, bill paying, lawn and car maintenance...do you?

I work and I do all of the things you derisively dismiss as beneath you. And the PP has a point. Not all of us enjoy our jobs 100% or make enough money to have a stable of staff to take care of our lives for us.

Ditto. NP here. That is why I feel like I am a workhorse, constantly being flogged, dragging on day after day, in sheer exhaustion. I'd love to cut the work part out and just do all the home stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Indentured servitude. Hope he doesn't die or leave you. What kills me is that stay-at-homers with grad degrees their parents paid for. Good use of money!

Why does that kill you? Did you have to pay your own way?

Nope. But you sound lovely.

The other poster is right. You do sound bitter and unhappy.

Who are you talking to? Something's lost in translation here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I had independent money, I would quit working in a heartbeat. In a nanosecond. Like...walk out the door and not even give notice.

I'm smart, but care very little about being "intellectually stimulated" at work. I can find ways to achieve this through volunteer work.

Working 40 hours a week and getting home at 6PM is not ideal for me. I would rather quit (and all, but one, of my children are school-aged) or work a PT schedule that allows me to get home at 3PM.

For the SAHMs who are able to stay at home (and have independent money to boot), rock on with yo bad self!!

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked that there are women who actually enjoy the stress and headache of working 40+ THEN doing all the SAHM stuff.

What time are you working Moms getting home? It it after 5PM?

This post is a joke, right? I'm gone 7:30 am until 6 or 7 pm. I don't do "SAHM stuff." You don't seriously think that I cook meals from scratch every night, do all my own laundry, shopping, cleaning, bill paying, lawn and car maintenance...do you?

I work and I do all of the things you derisively dismiss as beneath you. And the PP has a point. Not all of us enjoy our jobs 100% or make enough money to have a stable of staff to take care of our lives for us.

Ditto. NP here. That is why I feel like I am a workhorse, constantly being flogged, dragging on day after day, in sheer exhaustion. I'd love to cut the work part out and just do all the home stuff.

PP here again. Just wanted to add that my husband is pretty egalitarian, so it's not like I do it all. But even with splitting up the household responsibilities pretty equally we are both constantly going like hamsters in a wheel. He gets more satisfaction from his job though, so if we had the finances to do it I would go PT in a heartbeat and I know that our quality of life would improve dramatically as a result. Perhaps one day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked that there are women who actually enjoy the stress and headache of working 40+ THEN doing all the SAHM stuff.

What time are you working Moms getting home? It it after 5PM?

This post is a joke, right? I'm gone 7:30 am until 6 or 7 pm. I don't do "SAHM stuff." You don't seriously think that I cook meals from scratch every night, do all my own laundry, shopping, cleaning, bill paying, lawn and car maintenance...do you?

I work and I do all of the things you derisively dismiss as beneath you. And the PP has a point. Not all of us enjoy our jobs 100% or make enough money to have a stable of staff to take care of our lives for us.

Ditto. NP here. That is why I feel like I am a workhorse, constantly being flogged, dragging on day after day, in sheer exhaustion. I'd love to cut the work part out and just do all the home stuff.

But presumably without children, there would be a whole lot less home stuff to worry about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know someone who quit her job when she got married. Her DH became a big law partner and she shopped all day, everyday. She finally popped out two kids but has a housekeeper and nanny. I'm not jealous. They are in couples counseling. Actually, she's pretty nice but I don't think very highly of her. If you are not working and don't have kids you do not need a housekeeper. They didn't live in a big house. She was just lazy and a gold digger. Her husband got the trophy wife he always wanted (and her eating disorder too).

I think you are jealous. Why else would you say such catty things about a woman who is pretty nice to you and "popped out" two children?

I guess I hit a little too close to home for you, PP. She is a child who took no responsibility before her husband gave her an ultimatum. She can't hold a job because she lacks basic coping skills among other things. She did nothing all day but shop, before she had children. She was given a choice to have children or go back to work. She begrudgingly had children to save her marriage which is on the rocks anyway. The DH is just as much to blame IMO. Trust me, I'm not jealous. What she doesn't realize is that everyone can see through her pretend world. I wanted my children, am competent enough to work and have a wonderful relationship with my DH. She is all filler with no substance, just a full closet that still can't fill her inner emptiness. What angers me is that she is screwing up her kids now too.

Not the PP, but you seem to be drawing a link between working and a person's relationship with their husband (she doesn't work and they are in counseling; you work and your relationship is wonderful). Rocky marriages aren't limited to women who don't work -- I know plenty of women right now with big jobs and medium jobs who are in marriage counseling. The way you describe the person you know seems to indicate her problems are bigger than just not working so their marriage might be on the skids no matter what her employment status. I don't care whether people work or don't work, but I do care that people take one situation that they know about and then extrapolate from it to support their own biases.