Do you agree or disagree with this: Parents should pay for undergrad tuition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the parents have the means--yes they should.

DH came from a poor working single mom and had to take loans to pay for his college.

I came from a middle class family of 3 and my dad promised to pay for the 2 daugthers (had one brother) wedding in full (not extravagant crazy affairs--but very elegant) and 4 years in-state tuition (out of state we would have to take the difference in loans). He also lectured on the quality of the va state univ. and the idiocy of taking a loan from an equivalent out of state (if I got into an ivy that would be somethign different).

I will pay for my kids university (and I dont have the in-state requirement that my parents imposed on me). My oldest just finished K and his 529 is already 'pay now' if we want it. We have essentially already set enough aside for both of our kids.

Loans are now the new bubble that the housing market once was. I will not saddle my kids with them. They will have to pick credible majors and work hard. My dad's rules were if the grades dropped $ was cut off and if we didn't go to college we were out of the house at 18. I think those were good rules.

A minimum 4-years university tuition is definitely the responsibility of a parent with means.

I agree with every single word you wrote (and your dad).

He is a great man and role-model! I just quoted Warren Buffet in a different post and I agree with this: "Give your kids enough to do something, but not so much that they can do nothing". Paying for your kids' college would fall in that category.

I disagree with that. I think paying for your kid's college falls under parental obligation.

Yes. That is exactly what I said. Givign them college $ is letting them do 'something' ....giving them a house or fancy car, not so much.

Ahhh I get it. We agree on everything then!

XO...I admit I got a little vague there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
That cannot be the point, because there is a scale here from not giving a crap about education to throwing oneself under a train to help pay tuition. Within that range there are many different reasonable trade-offs that can be made. Everyone here, I believe, values education to a significant extent. But not everyone is going to sacrifice their vacations and cars for the next 20 years so that their children can go to whatever college they please at no cost for themselves.

Of course! We are talking spending frivolously and and being reasonable so that you can help your kids achieve their potential. For example, I might not be able to take my kids to Europe three times before 15 because I choose to put that 10 grand into their education fund. A camping trip to the rockies might have to do. I might not buy that Audi and choose to drive my Honda for 5 more years. I might choose to remodel my kitchen after they graduate, etc. It's the kind of choices that add up over years.

The one family I know in the area that has point-blank said they have (and are not) putting anything aside for their child's college--the dad didn't go to college and the mom doesn't work and is very materialistic (here-and-now), spend, spend, keep up appearances. They don't value education and see nothing about missing weeks of school at a time for fancy vacations. they also figure they will just take loans. they live in constant credit debt as it is so it prob doesn't bother them. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night.

Education is one of the most important things and took precedence over athletics, vacations, and everything else in my household growing up (and one sibling was a professional athlete--but if he f*ked up in school my parents thought nothing of making him sit out sports). It is weird to learn (especially in this area) some people don't value education.

What some of the non-savers also don't get....paying for college in 10-15 years isn't going to be like it was when they did it. The college loan industry has majorly f-d things up and is the reason tuitions are sky-rocketing. They know kids will take loans and will continue to take the max so they can keep raising rates. Teh poor f*cks that pay out of pocket have to pay more because of this. Then these f*cks with their crappy majors from crappy schools dont want to pay back their loans just liked their parents walked away from their houses. Welcome to America.

college tuition will be much less in 15 years than it is today, adjusted for inflation.

ahhh..NO. It will be the exact opposite. Read any well-known economist. Tuition rates due to student loan rules and what is being done about them...is going to directly rise because of it just like home prices did during the housing bubble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
That cannot be the point, because there is a scale here from not giving a crap about education to throwing oneself under a train to help pay tuition. Within that range there are many different reasonable trade-offs that can be made. Everyone here, I believe, values education to a significant extent. But not everyone is going to sacrifice their vacations and cars for the next 20 years so that their children can go to whatever college they please at no cost for themselves.

Of course! We are talking spending frivolously and and being reasonable so that you can help your kids achieve their potential. For example, I might not be able to take my kids to Europe three times before 15 because I choose to put that 10 grand into their education fund. A camping trip to the rockies might have to do. I might not buy that Audi and choose to drive my Honda for 5 more years. I might choose to remodel my kitchen after they graduate, etc. It's the kind of choices that add up over years.

The one family I know in the area that has point-blank said they have (and are not) putting anything aside for their child's college--the dad didn't go to college and the mom doesn't work and is very materialistic (here-and-now), spend, spend, keep up appearances. They don't value education and see nothing about missing weeks of school at a time for fancy vacations. they also figure they will just take loans. they live in constant credit debt as it is so it prob doesn't bother them. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night.

Education is one of the most important things and took precedence over athletics, vacations, and everything else in my household growing up (and one sibling was a professional athlete--but if he f*ked up in school my parents thought nothing of making him sit out sports). It is weird to learn (especially in this area) some people don't value education.

What some of the non-savers also don't get....paying for college in 10-15 years isn't going to be like it was when they did it. The college loan industry has majorly f-d things up and is the reason tuitions are sky-rocketing. They know kids will take loans and will continue to take the max so they can keep raising rates. Teh poor f*cks that pay out of pocket have to pay more because of this. Then these f*cks with their crappy majors from crappy schools dont want to pay back their loans just liked their parents walked away from their houses. Welcome to America.

college tuition will be much less in 15 years than it is today, adjusted for inflation.

ahhh..NO. It will be the exact opposite. Read any well-known economist. Tuition rates due to student loan rules and what is being done about them...is going to directly rise because of it just like home prices did during the housing bubble.


lol. Like the economists are ever right about anything? We are in a tuition bubble, that will burst. Once the feds get out of backstopping the loans, and they will, the tuition will plummet. Schools will be forced to compete. Sure, college might look slightly different. Maybe it will take 3 years instead of 4. Maybe more online classes? Who knows. But yes, it will be much cheaper.

[Anonymous]

DS's tuition bill with all fees included for the 2012-13 year is $66,000.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS's tuition bill with all fees included for the 2012-13 year is $66,000.

Holly molly!!!! Is this GW?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
That cannot be the point, because there is a scale here from not giving a crap about education to throwing oneself under a train to help pay tuition. Within that range there are many different reasonable trade-offs that can be made. Everyone here, I believe, values education to a significant extent. But not everyone is going to sacrifice their vacations and cars for the next 20 years so that their children can go to whatever college they please at no cost for themselves.

Of course! We are talking spending frivolously and and being reasonable so that you can help your kids achieve their potential. For example, I might not be able to take my kids to Europe three times before 15 because I choose to put that 10 grand into their education fund. A camping trip to the rockies might have to do. I might not buy that Audi and choose to drive my Honda for 5 more years. I might choose to remodel my kitchen after they graduate, etc. It's the kind of choices that add up over years.

The one family I know in the area that has point-blank said they have (and are not) putting anything aside for their child's college--the dad didn't go to college and the mom doesn't work and is very materialistic (here-and-now), spend, spend, keep up appearances. They don't value education and see nothing about missing weeks of school at a time for fancy vacations. they also figure they will just take loans. they live in constant credit debt as it is so it prob doesn't bother them. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night.

Education is one of the most important things and took precedence over athletics, vacations, and everything else in my household growing up (and one sibling was a professional athlete--but if he f*ked up in school my parents thought nothing of making him sit out sports). It is weird to learn (especially in this area) some people don't value education.

What some of the non-savers also don't get....paying for college in 10-15 years isn't going to be like it was when they did it. The college loan industry has majorly f-d things up and is the reason tuitions are sky-rocketing. They know kids will take loans and will continue to take the max so they can keep raising rates. Teh poor f*cks that pay out of pocket have to pay more because of this. Then these f*cks with their crappy majors from crappy schools dont want to pay back their loans just liked their parents walked away from their houses. Welcome to America.

college tuition will be much less in 15 years than it is today, adjusted for inflation.

ahhh..NO. It will be the exact opposite. Read any well-known economist. Tuition rates due to student loan rules and what is being done about them...is going to directly rise because of it just like home prices did during the housing bubble.

And then the bubble burst... Sure, if your children start college this fall you will have to pay a hefty sum... But if your children are currently in K there is plenty of time for bubble to deflate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Assuming you have means and it is not a complete struggle, parents should pay for their kids undergrad tuition and room and board. That is part of the deal in 2012. That is, saving for your kids college should be a lower priority than your mortgage, 401K and your normal quality-of-life (vacations, etc.). But I think it should be ahead of getting a nicer car and/or a bigger house.

2. The college "experience" is important. The people who do well in life are the ones who are well adjusted with good social skills and who get along with other people. Plus the contacts and friends you make in college are huge for future success.
3. The parent owes it to their kids to give them advice (this major is better than that major, etc.), but it is not my choice as to their major or college (assuming the school is within my budget). Now there are some limits. I am not going to pay for an unaccredited school and I'd probably say it has to be within X hours of home (say 4-5 hours).

um really?? bwahahahhahaha

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS's tuition bill with all fees included for the 2012-13 year is $66,000.

Really?? My DD is at a private liberal arts college that is, based on the bill I have in front of me but not including books, $55,728. Seems like her school is typically among the leaders for cost although the range isn't that big (like $54k-56k). What college costs $66k?

[Anonymous]

College tuitions will be PIF for my kid(s) when the time comes. Though I had some college loans, I was given help to pay them off.

However, I don't think that my child *needs* to go to college. I don't feel like I learned anything particularly valuable at a fairly prestigious Catholic university; I did go to an amazing prep school, which I feel prepared me just as well for the "real world."

I own a company, and hopefully my kiddos will show enough drive and tenacity to come work for me. College will be their choice, and I will encourage it not force it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Assuming you have means and it is not a complete struggle, parents should pay for their kids undergrad tuition and room and board. That is part of the deal in 2012. That is, saving for your kids college should be a lower priority than your mortgage, 401K and your normal quality-of-life (vacations, etc.). But I think it should be ahead of getting a nicer car and/or a bigger house.

2. The college "experience" is important. The people who do well in life are the ones who are well adjusted with good social skills and who get along with other people. Plus the contacts and friends you make in college are huge for future success.

3. The parent owes it to their kids to give them advice (this major is better than that major, etc.), but it is not my choice as to their major or college (assuming the school is within my budget). Now there are some limits. I am not going to pay for an unaccredited school and I'd probably say it has to be within X hours of home (say 4-5 hours).[/quote]

Why the distance limitation? So you wouldn't let your kid go to Harvard, Yale, Stanford? I sure would if my kid could get in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS's tuition bill with all fees included for the 2012-13 year is $66,000.

I just looked up the 20 most expensive colleges. Sarah Lawrence is #1 at $59,170 and NYU is #2 at $56,787. Perhaps your DS is skimming some money off the top.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Assuming you have means and it is not a complete struggle, parents should pay for their kids undergrad tuition and room and board. That is part of the deal in 2012. That is, saving for your kids college should be a lower priority than your mortgage, 401K and your normal quality-of-life (vacations, etc.). But I think it should be ahead of getting a nicer car and/or a bigger house.

2. The college "experience" is important. The people who do well in life are the ones who are well adjusted with good social skills and who get along with other people. Plus the contacts and friends you make in college are huge for future success.

3. The parent owes it to their kids to give them advice (this major is better than that major, etc.), but it is not my choice as to their major or college (assuming the school is within my budget). Now there are some limits. I am not going to pay for an unaccredited school and I'd probably say it has to be within X hours of home (say 4-5 hours).[/quote]

Why the distance limitation? So you wouldn't let your kid go to Harvard, Yale, Stanford? I sure would if my kid could get in.

I doubt they will get in, though their great-grandfather went to Yale for whatever that is worth. I'd be thrilled if my kids go to UVA, W&M or Virginia Tech. But if they can get into schools better than that, then there are great schools close by like Johns Hopkins, Georgetown and Penn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all of you who don't plan to pay for your kids college education, let me assure you that they will be pushed out of jobs by immigrants whose parents lived in shacks so their kids could get the best possible education. Indian, Korean, Chinese families sacrifice EVERYTHING so their kids can get the best possible education. Later those same kids help the elderly parents because they are able. This discussion, right here, on this thread is why the U.S. is going to become second world very soon.

I am one of those immigrants (though I live quite comfortably). I said previously that I would only pay for a top school tuition and only on my own terms (i.e. children get to choose their major only from a pro-approved list created by me and DH). It is hard for me to imagine immigrant parents giving their children free reigns in terms of exploring various college majors etc. Also, more than many here (and this despite both me and DH being PhDs) we are willing to accept that our children might not be good enough for college and that there other honorable ways to make a living. We are certainly not going to pay $$$ so that children can have a "college experience".

I am also from one of those immigrant groups - my parents immigrated, and my husband immigrated. Dad's family was dirt-poor; he's an engineer.

My parents came here for opportunity. The last thing my parents would want me to do is waste an education on something that didn't interest me at all. Can you imagine not wanting to be an engineer, and then spending 9 hours a day being an engineer? Soul sucking.

I don't know a single immigrant parent that made the kinds of ultimatums you suggest - it's the exception, rather than the norm in our community, actually. We find out about it from the rumor mill. "Oh, he left school - he really wanted to be an English major, but his mom made him go to the business school."

This is why I would never limit choices just to engineers. Doctors and lawyers are also acceptable (in fact, medicine is preferable). There is so much variety in careers in medicine (clinical work, lab work, managerial work, teaching work...) alone that there is something for everyone.

Maybe in your community the rule is to have children decide what they want to study on their parents' dime. If so, this is merely a reflection of a generational family cycle where movers and shakers are eventually replaced by "artists" or just plain bums.[/quote]

Well, no. You can be successful outside the fields of law and medicine. FWIW, i am an attorney, but my parents had no say in my choice of major or graduate school. I was considering going to school to become an urban planner. I asked my dad point blank whether that was "good enough". He said, as long as you apply yourself 100% it will of course be good enough.

Did you ever take any courses in music, art or English? The most challenging courses I took in college were in art history and english. By comparison, I sailed through statistics, econometrics and economics. One wonderful thing about college is that I came to value disciplines other than those that I was interested in or excelled at.

My personal view is that undergraduate education is, more than anything else, about learning how to learn. It is not vocational school. You immerse yourself into one subject and learn to think critically. That's why you have people in all kinds of professional school who majored in English, Music, Anthroplogy, etc. Would you be disappointed if your children taught art to lower-income kids? It sounds like you would, and that is terribly depressing . If I had chosen that route, I know that my parents would have been proud of me. Having seen your philosophy play out before, I can tell you that taking your children's passions and telling them that those passions are worthless and irrelevant will damage your relationship with your children. I hope that as your children get older you reform your views.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I value education, but I assume my kids will go to public colleges in-state. I am not going to NOT go on vacation so my kid can go to private college.

I am willing to vacation in Nags Head rather than St. Thomas so I can save the difference in my childrens' college fund.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Assuming you have means and it is not a complete struggle, parents should pay for their kids undergrad tuition and room and board. That is part of the deal in 2012. That is, saving for your kids college should be a lower priority than your mortgage, 401K and your normal quality-of-life (vacations, etc.). But I think it should be ahead of getting a nicer car and/or a bigger house.

2. The college "experience" is important. The people who do well in life are the ones who are well adjusted with good social skills and who get along with other people. Plus the contacts and friends you make in college are huge for future success.
3. The parent owes it to their kids to give them advice (this major is better than that major, etc.), but it is not my choice as to their major or college (assuming the school is within my budget). Now there are some limits. I am not going to pay for an unaccredited school and I'd probably say it has to be within X hours of home (say 4-5 hours).

um really?? bwahahahhahaha

you don't think social skills are the most important factor in success? Of course they are. First, you have to have the credentials. But once you get in the door, it is personality.