Do you agree or disagree with this: Parents should pay for undergrad tuition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know one sad case. Divorce and the moved to another country. Father did everything he could to get his kid through university. This included loans etc. The son died in a car accident.
Do not build your future by relying on your kids

Vey sad story, and the sad part is the loss of a child. Parents should not pay for college for their children as an investment in their own future, it is an investment in your child's future for the benefit of thE child. If it is within the means of the parents it is no different than making sure your child gets a high school education. Education is the foundation for entering adult life and it is part of parenting. If you do not have the means, you should still support your. Child in navigating the college application process and figuring out how to pay for it.

This guy was not building his future. He was loving and helping his son. I guess we shouldn't do anything for our kids because one day they might die. You are an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know one sad case. Divorce and the moved to another country. Father did everything he could to get his kid through university. This included loans etc. The son died in a car accident.
Do not build your future by relying on your kids

Vey sad story, and the sad part is the loss of a child. Parents should not pay for college for their children as an investment in their own future, it is an investment in your child's future for the benefit of thE child. If it is within the means of the parents it is no different than making sure your child gets a high school education. Education is the foundation for entering adult life and it is part of parenting. If you do not have the means, you should still support your. Child in navigating the college application process and figuring out how to pay for it.

This guy was not building his future. He was loving and helping his son. I guess we shouldn't do anything for our kids because one day they might die. You are an idiot.

sorry---that was directed at the first pp---not the second one in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are saving for college and have every intention of paying. My parents paid for undergrad (top state schools) for all 3 kids. DH the same and we both paid for our own grad school.

My sister is divorced and her oldest is in college with her second 2 years away. My sister does not make a lot, she was a SAHM for many years and has been making her way back up the work ladder over the past few years. My nephew is at a top tier private school and has enough aid from the school to make the cost equivalent to a state school. My sister makes significamy less than her ex-H but she and her now DH pay the majority of his school costs (nephew works hard, saves and contributes) because her ex is cheap on contributing as he does not want it to impact his lifestyle. She was married for many years to her first H and he is like a brother to me (moreso than her current H) but I am appalled at this. Nephew worked extremely hard in HS, college and generally all around.

My view is that kids should work hard and appreciate it but parents should do what is within their means to help make it happen and not burden their kids with a lot of debt to the extent that is within their means. I think a lot less of ex-BIL because of how he has handled this.

You are appalled that your nephew has to work hard? But your sister did not work for year? You want everybody living off the dole? You blame the ex-H and not your sister. Maybe she should have worked and she would not be in this position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being asian, and coming from a family where education is paramount and failure is not an option, no ifs ands or buts, my parents did everything they could to pay for our education (4 kids). Private schools in high school and ivy league schools and they wound up knee high in debt when everything was said and done. And they would've been considered upper middle class back then with their combined income. I ended up in a state school but my brother and sister landed in an ivy league school. Not til later when we all had kids did we fully appreciate the sacrifice and efforts made by our parents. Right now, they are both retired and have rebounded financially from those days. We also send them on trips by funding them as part of gratitude for what they did.

So with that said, given the influence my parents had on us, we'll definitely be paying for our kids' college. I think every parent is different with different circumstances so I'm not sure if there's a cut and dry answer if parents should pay. For us, we'll do things little differently when it comes to education than my parents, but one thing in tact is paying for their college.

Will your parents live with you when they are older or should I say will they expect to live with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being asian, and coming from a family where education is paramount and failure is not an option, no ifs ands or buts, my parents did everything they could to pay for our education (4 kids). Private schools in high school and ivy league schools and they wound up knee high in debt when everything was said and done. And they would've been considered upper middle class back then with their combined income. I ended up in a state school but my brother and sister landed in an ivy league school. Not til later when we all had kids did we fully appreciate the sacrifice and efforts made by our parents. Right now, they are both retired and have rebounded financially from those days. We also send them on trips by funding them as part of gratitude for what they did.

So with that said, given the influence my parents had on us, we'll definitely be paying for our kids' college. I think every parent is different with different circumstances so I'm not sure if there's a cut and dry answer if parents should pay. For us, we'll do things little differently when it comes to education than my parents, but one thing in tact is paying for their college.

Will your parents live with you when they are older or should I say will they expect to live with you?

They are adamant of living by themselves, but we would open our doors to them if anything changes.

[Anonymous]

College is the new High School.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being asian, and coming from a family where education is paramount and failure is not an option, no ifs ands or buts, my parents did everything they could to pay for our education (4 kids). Private schools in high school and ivy league schools and they wound up knee high in debt when everything was said and done. And they would've been considered upper middle class back then with their combined income. I ended up in a state school but my brother and sister landed in an ivy league school. Not til later when we all had kids did we fully appreciate the sacrifice and efforts made by our parents. Right now, they are both retired and have rebounded financially from those days. We also send them on trips by funding them as part of gratitude for what they did.

So with that said, given the influence my parents had on us, we'll definitely be paying for our kids' college. I think every parent is different with different circumstances so I'm not sure if there's a cut and dry answer if parents should pay. For us, we'll do things little differently when it comes to education than my parents, but one thing in tact is paying for their college.

Will your parents live with you when they are older or should I say will they expect to live with you?

They are adamant of living by themselves, but we would open our doors to them if anything changes.

Just wondering - I have a friend that tells her kids all the time "when momma lives with you" - she always says I have to treat them well so they treat me well when I live with them. Just wondering if that was the case.

Does your spouse agree that it is cool to have your parents live with your family?

My father always was adament that he would never, ever live with one of his kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I asked this question a couple of time already and no one has answered it. If you are financually able to pay for college, but plan not to because you think your kid will get financial aid or scholarhips, what makes you think they should? Who foots the bill in that case? The state? An annonymous donor? Why should a stranger pay for your kids to go to schoool? (AGAIN I am only asking parents who can afford to pay. Not the ones who have no means)

I paid for years and years of sports lessons so my child could get a full ride athletic scholarship. Best of both worlds since I paid for it (the lessons) and he earned it (the scholarship). Yay, us!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked this question a couple of time already and no one has answered it. If you are financually able to pay for college, but plan not to because you think your kid will get financial aid or scholarhips, what makes you think they should? Who foots the bill in that case? The state? An annonymous donor? Why should a stranger pay for your kids to go to schoool? (AGAIN I am only asking parents who can afford to pay. Not the ones who have no means)

I paid for years and years of sports lessons so my child could get a full ride athletic scholarship. Best of both worlds since I paid for it (the lessons) and he earned it (the scholarship). Yay, us!

First---this is so not the norm. I have a sibling that also got a full ride and played pro---but this is sooooooooooooo NOT typical---even for people that pay for lessons and drive their kids all over creation. Do not use this as a plan to pay for college. So few kids actually attain a scholarship--and if they do it is often only partial.

I have two 'stars' in the making but we are not relying on sports to pay their way. Sports are for fun and good character/discipline/social building. Our focus is getting a strong education. We have heavily invested in their 529s. Also--the only scholarship your kid may get may be from some third rate school in th emiddle of nowhere. I want my kids to go to the strongest univ they can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked this question a couple of time already and no one has answered it. If you are financually able to pay for college, but plan not to because you think your kid will get financial aid or scholarhips, what makes you think they should? Who foots the bill in that case? The state? An annonymous donor? Why should a stranger pay for your kids to go to schoool? (AGAIN I am only asking parents who can afford to pay. Not the ones who have no means)

I paid for years and years of sports lessons so my child could get a full ride athletic scholarship. Best of both worlds since I paid for it (the lessons) and he earned it (the scholarship). Yay, us!

First---this is so not the norm. I have a sibling that also got a full ride and played pro---but this is sooooooooooooo NOT typical---even for people that pay for lessons and drive their kids all over creation. Do not use this as a plan to pay for college. So few kids actually attain a scholarship--and if they do it is often only partial.

I have two 'stars' in the making but we are not relying on sports to pay their way. Sports are for fun and good character/discipline/social building. Our focus is getting a strong education. We have heavily invested in their 529s. Also--the only scholarship your kid may get may be from some third rate school in th emiddle of nowhere. I want my kids to go to the strongest univ they can.

I am not PP but I am in the same boat. I thought the questions is would we accept the scholarship even though we can pay. Yes we will accept it. Why? Because he earned it.

We did not pay for sports with this expectation - we did it becuase it was fun. My son worked hard because he has a good work ethic. He was rewarded. Good for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked this question a couple of time already and no one has answered it. If you are financually able to pay for college, but plan not to because you think your kid will get financial aid or scholarhips, what makes you think they should? Who foots the bill in that case? The state? An annonymous donor? Why should a stranger pay for your kids to go to schoool? (AGAIN I am only asking parents who can afford to pay. Not the ones who have no means)

I paid for years and years of sports lessons so my child could get a full ride athletic scholarship. Best of both worlds since I paid for it (the lessons) and he earned it (the scholarship). Yay, us!

First---this is so not the norm. I have a sibling that also got a full ride and played pro---but this is sooooooooooooo NOT typical---even for people that pay for lessons and drive their kids all over creation. Do not use this as a plan to pay for college. So few kids actually attain a scholarship--and if they do it is often only partial.

I have two 'stars' in the making but we are not relying on sports to pay their way. Sports are for fun and good character/discipline/social building. Our focus is getting a strong education. We have heavily invested in their 529s. Also--the only scholarship your kid may get may be from some third rate school in th emiddle of nowhere. I want my kids to go to the strongest univ they can.

You are right, and I was half joking, as I know not everyone has this opportunity. We also had a contingency plan, but luckily both my kids did get full rides (well, one wasn't full, but very close) to very good schools due to athletics. And now, the oldest is using our backup plan to pay for grad school. My response was to the question, though, if you can afford, yet have other means, do you take advantage? As a side note, I'm thinking I recently heard that two wealthy musicians' kids just received college offers, and I'm assuming athletic aid, and plan on using it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked this question a couple of time already and no one has answered it. If you are financually able to pay for college, but plan not to because you think your kid will get financial aid or scholarhips, what makes you think they should? Who foots the bill in that case? The state? An annonymous donor? Why should a stranger pay for your kids to go to schoool? (AGAIN I am only asking parents who can afford to pay. Not the ones who have no means)

I paid for years and years of sports lessons so my child could get a full ride athletic scholarship. Best of both worlds since I paid for it (the lessons) and he earned it (the scholarship). Yay, us!

First---this is so not the norm. I have a sibling that also got a full ride and played pro---but this is sooooooooooooo NOT typical---even for people that pay for lessons and drive their kids all over creation. Do not use this as a plan to pay for college. So few kids actually attain a scholarship--and if they do it is often only partial.

I have two 'stars' in the making but we are not relying on sports to pay their way. Sports are for fun and good character/discipline/social building. Our focus is getting a strong education. We have heavily invested in their 529s. Also--the only scholarship your kid may get may be from some third rate school in th emiddle of nowhere. I want my kids to go to the strongest univ they can.

You are right, and I was half joking, as I know not everyone has this opportunity. We also had a contingency plan, but luckily both my kids did get full rides (well, one wasn't full, but very close) to very good schools due to athletics. And now, the oldest is using our backup plan to pay for grad school. My response was to the question, though, if you can afford, yet have other means, do you take advantage? As a side note, I'm thinking I recently heard that two wealthy musicians' kids just received college offers, and I'm assuming athletic aid, and plan on using it.

Sean Combs and Snoop Dogg...just looked it up.

[Anonymous]

If they can afford to, maybe. We'll pay for our DCs tuition if they study practical fields.. I'm not paying for a drama degree. If one of my children wants to act he/she should be talented enough to get a scholarship otherwise why bother?

My parents "paid" for my education but really just took out tons of loans without telling me and sticking me with them after I was in a job for a few yrs. They somehow neglected to tell me that I would be $60g in debt by 24.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked this question a couple of time already and no one has answered it. If you are financually able to pay for college, but plan not to because you think your kid will get financial aid or scholarhips, what makes you think they should? Who foots the bill in that case? The state? An annonymous donor? Why should a stranger pay for your kids to go to schoool? (AGAIN I am only asking parents who can afford to pay. Not the ones who have no means)

I paid for years and years of sports lessons so my child could get a full ride athletic scholarship. Best of both worlds since I paid for it (the lessons) and he earned it (the scholarship). Yay, us!

First---this is so not the norm. I have a sibling that also got a full ride and played pro---but this is sooooooooooooo NOT typical---even for people that pay for lessons and drive their kids all over creation. Do not use this as a plan to pay for college. So few kids actually attain a scholarship--and if they do it is often only partial.

I have two 'stars' in the making but we are not relying on sports to pay their way. Sports are for fun and good character/discipline/social building. Our focus is getting a strong education. We have heavily invested in their 529s. Also--the only scholarship your kid may get may be from some third rate school in th emiddle of nowhere. I want my kids to go to the strongest univ they can.

You are right, and I was half joking, as I know not everyone has this opportunity. We also had a contingency plan, but luckily both my kids did get full rides (well, one wasn't full, but very close) to very good schools due to athletics. And now, the oldest is using our backup plan to pay for grad school. My response was to the question, though, if you can afford, yet have other means, do you take advantage? As a side note, I'm thinking I recently heard that two wealthy musicians' kids just received college offers, and I'm assuming athletic aid, and plan on using it.

I am pp you quoted...TOTALLY TAKE THE $. I was talking about say your kid only got a scholarship from some hack schhool you never would have sent him to in the first place..then I d hav ehim go elsewhere and pay. If you like the school totally take the scholarship--they earned it!

[Anonymous]

Not my poor kids. All four successful, three in or already out of the service and working on school with good focus and maturity, quite unlike most of the teenagers I see in school. The oldest ditched a full scholarship to bum around the country for a few years, has now grown up and graduated from college and is well-employed. There is no sense in paying for school for kids. If they earn it, they will value it