Do you agree or disagree with this: Parents should pay for undergrad tuition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You wrote:

"I can't even follow your post. You make no sense. Of course the student loans are not the end of the world. If a child really wants to attend college and the parents can't afford it, student loans are available and can be utilized. Of course there can be buckets of examples about how the kids flunked out and didn't appreciate, or how paying your own way though has somehow made you 100 times stronger (which i seriously doubt). The point is, you either value education as a family or you don't. If you do, you help your kids achieve their absolute potential by supporting them in every possible way. If you don't value education, you make a 100 excuses as to why paying for a new kitchen, a better can or a trip to Hawaii has somehow made little Johnny a better man."

What I am saying is that there is a middle ground. No, I am not going to do whatever possible and support them "in every possible way". I will save enough, at some hardship, to get them to public in-state schools for 2-3 years. I will borrow and/or pay as they go for the remainder of undergrad. I am not going to live in a dump and not take vacations so I can save save save for private school.

YOU STILL DON'T GET IT. And it's really sad for your kids.

[Anonymous]

So you were lying when you wrote "in every possible way" or not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you were lying when you wrote "in every possible way" or not?

Huh?????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I paid for our own college. I think it is a great experience to not be handed everything. Student loans are not the end of the world. They are part of life. By the time anyone here has children going to college, all that will be available is student loans - they don't go handing out money because you cry poor mouth. That is not the way it works.

I have a friend from a large family that did not qualify for financial aid. The parents paid for just one child to go to school. That child flunked out in his last year of undergrad. It was a gamble that did not pay off.

You are doing your child no favors by sacrificing everything to send them to private school while they are young or undergrad when they are older, for that matter. The elite colleges accept a small percentage of applicants - and the applicant pool is rising and improving every day. It sounds to me that too many here don't have a grasp on reality.

I can't even follow your post. You make no sense. Of course the student loans are not the end of the world. If a child really wants to attend college and the parents can't afford it, student loans are available and can be utilized. Of course there can be buckets of examples about how the kids flunked out and didn't appreciate, or how paying your own way though has somehow made you 100 times stronger (which i seriously doubt). The point is, you either value education as a family or you don't. If you do, you help your kids achieve their absolute potential by supporting them in every possible way. If you don't value education, you make a 100 excuses as to why paying for a new kitchen, a better can or a trip to Hawaii has somehow made little Johnny a better man.

That cannot be the point, because there is a scale here from not giving a crap about education to throwing oneself under a train to help pay tuition. Within that range there are many different reasonable trade-offs that can be made. Everyone here, I believe, values education to a significant extent. But not everyone is going to sacrifice their vacations and cars for the next 20 years so that their children can go to whatever college they please at no cost for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I paid for our own college. I think it is a great experience to not be handed everything. Student loans are not the end of the world. They are part of life. By the time anyone here has children going to college, all that will be available is student loans - they don't go handing out money because you cry poor mouth. That is not the way it works.

I have a friend from a large family that did not qualify for financial aid. The parents paid for just one child to go to school. That child flunked out in his last year of undergrad. It was a gamble that did not pay off.

You are doing your child no favors by sacrificing everything to send them to private school while they are young or undergrad when they are older, for that matter. The elite colleges accept a small percentage of applicants - and the applicant pool is rising and improving every day. It sounds to me that too many here don't have a grasp on reality.

I can't even follow your post. You make no sense. Of course the student loans are not the end of the world. If a child really wants to attend college and the parents can't afford it, student loans are available and can be utilized. Of course there can be buckets of examples about how the kids flunked out and didn't appreciate, or how paying your own way though has somehow made you 100 times stronger (which i seriously doubt). The point is, you either value education as a family or you don't. If you do, you help your kids achieve their absolute potential by supporting them in every possible way. If you don't value education, you make a 100 excuses as to why paying for a new kitchen, a better can or a trip to Hawaii has somehow made little Johnny a better man.

That cannot be the point, because there is a scale here from not giving a crap about education to throwing oneself under a train to help pay tuition. Within that range there are many different reasonable trade-offs that can be made. Everyone here, I believe, values education to a significant extent. But not everyone is going to sacrifice their vacations and cars for the next 20 years so that their children can go to whatever college they please at no cost for themselves.

exactly. I choose to take the middle position, and not the extreme. I will save for public AND live my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the parents have the means--yes they should.

DH came from a poor working single mom and had to take loans to pay for his college.

I came from a middle class family of 3 and my dad promised to pay for the 2 daugthers (had one brother) wedding in full (not extravagant crazy affairs--but very elegant) and 4 years in-state tuition (out of state we would have to take the difference in loans). He also lectured on the quality of the va state univ. and the idiocy of taking a loan from an equivalent out of state (if I got into an ivy that would be somethign different).

I will pay for my kids university (and I dont have the in-state requirement that my parents imposed on me). My oldest just finished K and his 529 is already 'pay now' if we want it. We have essentially already set enough aside for both of our kids.

Loans are now the new bubble that the housing market once was. I will not saddle my kids with them. They will have to pick credible majors and work hard. My dad's rules were if the grades dropped $ was cut off and if we didn't go to college we were out of the house at 18. I think those were good rules.

A minimum 4-years university tuition is definitely the responsibility of a parent with means.

I agree with every single word you wrote (and your dad).

He is a great man and role-model! I just quoted Warren Buffet in a different post and I agree with this: "Give your kids enough to do something, but not so much that they can do nothing". Paying for your kids' college would fall in that category.

[Anonymous]

That cannot be the point, because there is a scale here from not giving a crap about education to throwing oneself under a train to help pay tuition. Within that range there are many different reasonable trade-offs that can be made. Everyone here, I believe, values education to a significant extent. But not everyone is going to sacrifice their vacations and cars for the next 20 years so that their children can go to whatever college they please at no cost for themselves.

Of course! We are talking spending frivolously and and being reasonable so that you can help your kids achieve their potential. For example, I might not be able to take my kids to Europe three times before 15 because I choose to put that 10 grand into their education fund. A camping trip to the rockies might have to do. I might not buy that Audi and choose to drive my Honda for 5 more years. I might choose to remodel my kitchen after they graduate, etc. It's the kind of choices that add up over years.

[Anonymous]

To the poster who keeps on harping on private vs. public please stop. No one is talking about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the parents have the means--yes they should.

DH came from a poor working single mom and had to take loans to pay for his college.

I came from a middle class family of 3 and my dad promised to pay for the 2 daugthers (had one brother) wedding in full (not extravagant crazy affairs--but very elegant) and 4 years in-state tuition (out of state we would have to take the difference in loans). He also lectured on the quality of the va state univ. and the idiocy of taking a loan from an equivalent out of state (if I got into an ivy that would be somethign different).

I will pay for my kids university (and I dont have the in-state requirement that my parents imposed on me). My oldest just finished K and his 529 is already 'pay now' if we want it. We have essentially already set enough aside for both of our kids.

Loans are now the new bubble that the housing market once was. I will not saddle my kids with them. They will have to pick credible majors and work hard. My dad's rules were if the grades dropped $ was cut off and if we didn't go to college we were out of the house at 18. I think those were good rules.

A minimum 4-years university tuition is definitely the responsibility of a parent with means.

I agree with every single word you wrote (and your dad).

He is a great man and role-model! I just quoted Warren Buffet in a different post and I agree with this: "Give your kids enough to do something, but not so much that they can do nothing". Paying for your kids' college would fall in that category.

I disagree with that. I think paying for your kid's college falls under parental obligation.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I agree. If you choose to have children, it's your responsibility to get them through college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
That cannot be the point, because there is a scale here from not giving a crap about education to throwing oneself under a train to help pay tuition. Within that range there are many different reasonable trade-offs that can be made. Everyone here, I believe, values education to a significant extent. But not everyone is going to sacrifice their vacations and cars for the next 20 years so that their children can go to whatever college they please at no cost for themselves.

Of course! We are talking spending frivolously and and being reasonable so that you can help your kids achieve their potential. For example, I might not be able to take my kids to Europe three times before 15 because I choose to put that 10 grand into their education fund. A camping trip to the rockies might have to do. I might not buy that Audi and choose to drive my Honda for 5 more years. I might choose to remodel my kitchen after they graduate, etc. It's the kind of choices that add up over years.

The one family I know in the area that has point-blank said they have (and are not) putting anything aside for their child's college--the dad didn't go to college and the mom doesn't work and is very materialistic (here-and-now), spend, spend, keep up appearances. They don't value education and see nothing about missing weeks of school at a time for fancy vacations. they also figure they will just take loans. they live in constant credit debt as it is so it prob doesn't bother them. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night.

Education is one of the most important things and took precedence over athletics, vacations, and everything else in my household growing up (and one sibling was a professional athlete--but if he f*ked up in school my parents thought nothing of making him sit out sports). It is weird to learn (especially in this area) some people don't value education.

What some of the non-savers also don't get....paying for college in 10-15 years isn't going to be like it was when they did it. The college loan industry has majorly f-d things up and is the reason tuitions are sky-rocketing. They know kids will take loans and will continue to take the max so they can keep raising rates. Teh poor f*cks that pay out of pocket have to pay more because of this. Then these f*cks with their crappy majors from crappy schools dont want to pay back their loans just liked their parents walked away from their houses. Welcome to America.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I agree. If you choose to have children, it's your responsibility to get them through college.

Thank you! Why is this so hard to understand?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the parents have the means--yes they should.

DH came from a poor working single mom and had to take loans to pay for his college.

I came from a middle class family of 3 and my dad promised to pay for the 2 daugthers (had one brother) wedding in full (not extravagant crazy affairs--but very elegant) and 4 years in-state tuition (out of state we would have to take the difference in loans). He also lectured on the quality of the va state univ. and the idiocy of taking a loan from an equivalent out of state (if I got into an ivy that would be somethign different).

I will pay for my kids university (and I dont have the in-state requirement that my parents imposed on me). My oldest just finished K and his 529 is already 'pay now' if we want it. We have essentially already set enough aside for both of our kids.

Loans are now the new bubble that the housing market once was. I will not saddle my kids with them. They will have to pick credible majors and work hard. My dad's rules were if the grades dropped $ was cut off and if we didn't go to college we were out of the house at 18. I think those were good rules.

A minimum 4-years university tuition is definitely the responsibility of a parent with means.

I agree with every single word you wrote (and your dad).

He is a great man and role-model! I just quoted Warren Buffet in a different post and I agree with this: "Give your kids enough to do something, but not so much that they can do nothing". Paying for your kids' college would fall in that category.

I disagree with that. I think paying for your kid's college falls under parental obligation.

Yes. That is exactly what I said. Givign them college $ is letting them do 'something' ....giving them a house or fancy car, not so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the parents have the means--yes they should.

DH came from a poor working single mom and had to take loans to pay for his college.

I came from a middle class family of 3 and my dad promised to pay for the 2 daugthers (had one brother) wedding in full (not extravagant crazy affairs--but very elegant) and 4 years in-state tuition (out of state we would have to take the difference in loans). He also lectured on the quality of the va state univ. and the idiocy of taking a loan from an equivalent out of state (if I got into an ivy that would be somethign different).

I will pay for my kids university (and I dont have the in-state requirement that my parents imposed on me). My oldest just finished K and his 529 is already 'pay now' if we want it. We have essentially already set enough aside for both of our kids.

Loans are now the new bubble that the housing market once was. I will not saddle my kids with them. They will have to pick credible majors and work hard. My dad's rules were if the grades dropped $ was cut off and if we didn't go to college we were out of the house at 18. I think those were good rules.

A minimum 4-years university tuition is definitely the responsibility of a parent with means.

I agree with every single word you wrote (and your dad).

He is a great man and role-model! I just quoted Warren Buffet in a different post and I agree with this: "Give your kids enough to do something, but not so much that they can do nothing". Paying for your kids' college would fall in that category.

I disagree with that. I think paying for your kid's college falls under parental obligation.

Yes. That is exactly what I said. Givign them college $ is letting them do 'something' ....giving them a house or fancy car, not so much.

Ahhh I get it. We agree on everything then!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
That cannot be the point, because there is a scale here from not giving a crap about education to throwing oneself under a train to help pay tuition. Within that range there are many different reasonable trade-offs that can be made. Everyone here, I believe, values education to a significant extent. But not everyone is going to sacrifice their vacations and cars for the next 20 years so that their children can go to whatever college they please at no cost for themselves.

Of course! We are talking spending frivolously and and being reasonable so that you can help your kids achieve their potential. For example, I might not be able to take my kids to Europe three times before 15 because I choose to put that 10 grand into their education fund. A camping trip to the rockies might have to do. I might not buy that Audi and choose to drive my Honda for 5 more years. I might choose to remodel my kitchen after they graduate, etc. It's the kind of choices that add up over years.

The one family I know in the area that has point-blank said they have (and are not) putting anything aside for their child's college--the dad didn't go to college and the mom doesn't work and is very materialistic (here-and-now), spend, spend, keep up appearances. They don't value education and see nothing about missing weeks of school at a time for fancy vacations. they also figure they will just take loans. they live in constant credit debt as it is so it prob doesn't bother them. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night.

Education is one of the most important things and took precedence over athletics, vacations, and everything else in my household growing up (and one sibling was a professional athlete--but if he f*ked up in school my parents thought nothing of making him sit out sports). It is weird to learn (especially in this area) some people don't value education.

What some of the non-savers also don't get....paying for college in 10-15 years isn't going to be like it was when they did it. The college loan industry has majorly f-d things up and is the reason tuitions are sky-rocketing. They know kids will take loans and will continue to take the max so they can keep raising rates. Teh poor f*cks that pay out of pocket have to pay more because of this. Then these f*cks with their crappy majors from crappy schools dont want to pay back their loans just liked their parents walked away from their houses. Welcome to America.

college tuition will be much less in 15 years than it is today, adjusted for inflation.