I am a spuse that cheats, Ask me anything.

[Anonymous]

narcissistic personality disorder
severe denial

this answers any leftover questions about OP

[Anonymous]

Have you give your spouse a chance to try to fulfill your needs? Have you lied to your spouse (not omitted the truth but flat-out lied)? How long were you together before you started cheating? What do you think your spouse woud do if he/she found out (assuming proof and you weren't able to deny)? Is your spouse happy with the marriage? Is there anything your spouse could have done differently to have you be faithful?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Given that the relationship is exclusively sexual and not personal, don't you think you'll get bored of it eventually?

NP here who's been having an affair for 7 years. The whole reason for the affair is sexual - so long as the sex isn't boring, why would I get bored of it? I started the affair because my husband wants 30 minutes of sex once a week or so, no physical affection any other time, no oral, no kinky sex at all. We discussed it and discussed it. He's from a repressed Catholic background, promised me he'd be more open to things after marriage, isn't. We were married 10 years before I finally gave up on finding sexual fulfillment with him. I think he knows, or at least suspects, that I'm getting sexual satisfaction elsewhere, but he's frankly relieved. He used to ask me not to even pleasure myself!!!

I have no interest in a divorce - other than our sex life, we are great partners, have kids together, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You didn't answer. Who pays for your trysts?

If we need to spend $$ we work it out and always pay cash. We have been pretty creative with that. For example buying a prepaid visa card with our groceries so it doesn't stand out or using points from corporate cards that we get to keep to buy gift cards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Given that the relationship is exclusively sexual and not personal, don't you think you'll get bored of it eventually?

Thatt is the way we both see it ending. When that time comes we go our own ways. We have discussed it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, you're not the married lesbian, or no, you're not having a same-sex affair?

I am not hte married lesbian and we are not the same sex,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, were you posting from somewhere where this can't be traced when your spouse files for divorce?

I think it would be pretty hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you pay your lover for your meetings with him/her?

we split it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How often do you and your Luvah get together?

Sometimes once a week, sometimes once a month, sometimes a few times a week, but we have gone a few months at a time when we have not seen each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you give your spouse a chance to try to fulfill your needs? Have you lied to your spouse (not omitted the truth but flat-out lied)? How long were you together before you started cheating? What do you think your spouse woud do if he/she found out (assuming proof and you weren't able to deny)? Is your spouse happy with the marriage? Is there anything your spouse could have done differently to have you be faithful?

Yes, my spouse fulfill the needs and those of his role. I have not said I am going to xyz and actually go to see lover. Together a few years before I started cheating. I would deny it, with any proof provided I would deny it. Yes spouse is happy and so am I. I don't think so, I think this is my vice, like a drug user, drinker, hoarder etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does he/she love you long time?

Soemtimes it is very fast, sometimes longer, have to work with the time we have

[Anonymous]

So, have you sought therapy? Sounds like an addiction problem. Has addiction been a problem in your life before?

[Anonymous]

I'm positive OP is a woman. I'm a woman having an affair, and this sounds like me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, have you sought therapy? Sounds like an addiction problem. Has addiction been a problem in your life before?

Good question,

I think it has something to do with that. It is the high I get from it. I think most who are doing the same, and there are plenty of us and even the ones who are not would get the same high from it and want it more and more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm positive OP is a woman. I'm a woman having an affair, and this sounds like me.

I won;t say if I am m or f, but my lover is exactly the same way I am, I am not sure if your lover is the exact same as you but we are very much alike.