Let's be the stress of caring for your elderly Boomer parents!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will pitch in. I am a 63 year old boomer currently working full time, dealing with my silent gen parents with rapidly advancing dementia, paying for one DC's divorce lawyer, and will likely have said DC and child moving in soon. Being a sandwich boomer is fun!

Have them move in with your parents! Win win

My parents are divorced, and one parent lives in a 1 BR apartment in a retirement community. The other parent does not live close enough. We will need to be helping with the child so they need to be nearby. The DD and child are not the problem!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in the "can't live alone, hates homes, wants to live alone, doesn't want to BE alone, oh... what she really wants is to live at her home and have all of her kids live there with her and take care of her!

Like we don't have jobs, kids, pets, obligations or live far away.

It took some digging but that would make her happiest. Not going to happen. Anyone else?

Most are like that, some just hide it a little better than others

It’s truly what they all want.
My aunt basically lives this, as my failure to launch cousin lives with her and takes care of absolutely everything. She was smugly bragging to my mom about this! My mom implied she hoped I’d be WIDOWED EARLY so I could live with her “maybe when you’re 60 and I’m 90. That would be perfect.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know how some kids grieve they’ll never have a loving parent? I can’t complain of that, they love/loved me in their own ways. I am profoundly sad though that I’ll never have a parent I genuinely loved and respected. I have some respect for my mom but no love. I have some love for my dad but no respect. It’s sad, really.

I am glad there are people who genuinely love their aging parents.

You’re a grownup and won’t let go that they weren’t what you wanted them to be. They were flawed in many ways.

Let it go or if you have kids it will just be a repeat of your children not respecting you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parent buys 1000s of dollars worth of fake supplements to “improve memory”.
When they arrive, he doesn’t remember buying them. When I ask why he bought them, he can’t remember.
Sigh.

Time to take away access to credit cards

When my dad was in the middle stages of Lewy body dementia (he is late stage hospice now) he bought a lifetime LinkedIn subscription. Exactly what someone long retired in their 70s with dementia needs!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the dusty box with medals I got in Vietnam that none of my kids have interest in nor care about what they cost me. I'm the memory of marching in protest to try and change the world for the better only to be condemned, ridiculed and considered a burden as I entered my final years.

Well said

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parent buys 1000s of dollars worth of fake supplements to “improve memory”.
When they arrive, he doesn’t remember buying them. When I ask why he bought them, he can’t remember.
Sigh.

Time to take away access to credit cards

When my dad was in the middle stages of Lewy body dementia (he is late stage hospice now) he bought a lifetime LinkedIn subscription. Exactly what someone long retired in their 70s with dementia needs!

What an awful and heartless criticism to spew at a man who was in dementia.

I guess you're pissed because that is a couple of hundred bucks that YOU won't be getting when he dies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parent buys 1000s of dollars worth of fake supplements to “improve memory”.
When they arrive, he doesn’t remember buying them. When I ask why he bought them, he can’t remember.
Sigh.

Time to take away access to credit cards

When my dad was in the middle stages of Lewy body dementia (he is late stage hospice now) he bought a lifetime LinkedIn subscription. Exactly what someone long retired in their 70s with dementia needs!

What an awful and heartless criticism to spew at a man who was in dementia.

I guess you're pissed because that is a couple of hundred bucks that YOU won't be getting when he dies.

What???? I’m the one who posted that. It was a lighthearted comment not a criticism. You will not survive a parents journey with dementia if you don’t laugh about it. Trust me.

Unclench please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parent buys 1000s of dollars worth of fake supplements to “improve memory”.
When they arrive, he doesn’t remember buying them. When I ask why he bought them, he can’t remember.
Sigh.

Time to take away access to credit cards

When my dad was in the middle stages of Lewy body dementia (he is late stage hospice now) he bought a lifetime LinkedIn subscription. Exactly what someone long retired in their 70s with dementia needs!

What an awful and heartless criticism to spew at a man who was in dementia.

I guess you're pissed because that is a couple of hundred bucks that YOU won't be getting when he dies.

What???? I’m the one who posted that. It was a lighthearted comment not a criticism. You will not survive a parents journey with dementia if you don’t laugh about it. Trust me.

Unclench please.

Been there, done that. Once they've died you will look at their disease (and jokes about it) differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parent buys 1000s of dollars worth of fake supplements to “improve memory”.
When they arrive, he doesn’t remember buying them. When I ask why he bought them, he can’t remember.
Sigh.

Time to take away access to credit cards

When my dad was in the middle stages of Lewy body dementia (he is late stage hospice now) he bought a lifetime LinkedIn subscription. Exactly what someone long retired in their 70s with dementia needs!

What an awful and heartless criticism to spew at a man who was in dementia.

I guess you're pissed because that is a couple of hundred bucks that YOU won't be getting when he dies.

What???? I’m the one who posted that. It was a lighthearted comment not a criticism. You will not survive a parents journey with dementia if you don’t laugh about it. Trust me.

Unclench please.

Been there, done that. Once they've died you will look at their disease (and jokes about it) differently.

DP. Plenty of people use humor to cope. Even people who work in hospitals and are around sick and dying people all day. It's a very normal reaction to stress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parent buys 1000s of dollars worth of fake supplements to “improve memory”.
When they arrive, he doesn’t remember buying them. When I ask why he bought them, he can’t remember.
Sigh.

Time to take away access to credit cards

When my dad was in the middle stages of Lewy body dementia (he is late stage hospice now) he bought a lifetime LinkedIn subscription. Exactly what someone long retired in their 70s with dementia needs!

What an awful and heartless criticism to spew at a man who was in dementia.

I guess you're pissed because that is a couple of hundred bucks that YOU won't be getting when he dies.

What an odd reaction. Pointing out that this person bought something silly and unnecessary is not a "heartless criticism."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know how some kids grieve they’ll never have a loving parent? I can’t complain of that, they love/loved me in their own ways. I am profoundly sad though that I’ll never have a parent I genuinely loved and respected. I have some respect for my mom but no love. I have some love for my dad but no respect. It’s sad, really.

I am glad there are people who genuinely love their aging parents.

You’re a grownup and won’t let go that they weren’t what you wanted them to be. They were flawed in many ways.

Let it go or if you have kids it will just be a repeat of your children not respecting you.

This is not true ffs. If the poster treats her children better they’ll treat her better.
I do not have anywhere near the relationship w my children as my
Mom did at the same age w me.
I’m not jealous of them. I’m not cruel to them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parent buys 1000s of dollars worth of fake supplements to “improve memory”.
When they arrive, he doesn’t remember buying them. When I ask why he bought them, he can’t remember.
Sigh.

Time to take away access to credit cards

When my dad was in the middle stages of Lewy body dementia (he is late stage hospice now) he bought a lifetime LinkedIn subscription. Exactly what someone long retired in their 70s with dementia needs!

What an awful and heartless criticism to spew at a man who was in dementia.

I guess you're pissed because that is a couple of hundred bucks that YOU won't be getting when he dies.

What???? I’m the one who posted that. It was a lighthearted comment not a criticism. You will not survive a parents journey with dementia if you don’t laugh about it. Trust me.

Unclench please.

Been there, done that. Once they've died you will look at their disease (and jokes about it) differently.

DP. Plenty of people use humor to cope. Even people who work in hospitals and are around sick and dying people all day. It's a very normal reaction to stress.

Daughter here again I’m actually a nurse and I worked in a long-term care the first decade of my career so I’ve been with at least 30 people as they passed away and dark humor is def one of my crutches. I feel confident I will not feel differently and I feel confident that my dad who could make a joke about anything also, would appreciate my jokes (though that was BARELY a joke)

[Anonymous]

I am the $30 an hour personal aide who obeys my demented mom’s commands to call me non stop during the work day only to have mom say uhm uhm uhm and criticize me when I answer.