Totally agree. Other facts are things like: You look lyou have gained weight. Wow you are fat. You have a big nose. You are not really a blonde. I can see your roots. Who really cares. All facts. |
| People often just say your kid is really big rather than tall. For a girl, that can get in their head and land wrong. Most women don’t want to be called big. |
| Yes, DS is 6’3”. His growth was pretty consistent from birth through age 16. |
| Mine did not, they were early growers who were very tall for age until 10 or so but ultimately are just average height. I was the same. |
| I often comment on tall kids, usually in passing to a parent and not in front of the kid. It’s really meant as an offhand comment that stems from my deep seated insecurity as a very very short person and my fear that DS will also turn out to be a shrimp. |
This is an important point. You have the perspective of an average height person. The reason you don't care is you're not hearing the comments constantly. Fine it's a fact that people are tall or short or fat or skinny or whatever. How about this? Be more interesting. Find something less boring to say. The analogy of the weather isn't terrible. Also boring. Tall people have heard it 100s of time as kids and 1000s by the time they are adult. Just shut up about it already people. If you are overweight, do you want people commenting on it several times a week? I'm guessing the answer is no. |
In the US, 6' is the 84th percentile for adult men. |
No one on Planet Earth considers being tall a bad thing, nor is saying someone is tall ever intended as an insult. |
You seriously need therapy and/or medication. Your response is insane. My 6’5” 14 year old LOVES being tall and it doesn’t bother him in the least that people notice and comment on his height. He is aware that he is quite tall and something of an oddity in that regard, and at no point does that FACT make him feel angry or uncomfortable. Maybe work with your kids on their self-esteem? |
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My 10 year old girl has always been tall stature (97-99th percentile for height). She hasn't hit puberty or middle school yet, so TBD on final height and socioemotional impact in the teen years. But she has a decade of experience being a head taller than her friends and fielding comments and assumptions from others.
First, it is different for girls than boys. Most tall women grow to appreciate their height as adults, but find it challenging in adolescence. It's the opposite for boys, and does a disservice to girls to assume that they will feel the same way a boy would. Mine would prefer to be more average sized, but also likes getting perceived as older because tweens are going to tween. She also loves that Taylor Swift is 5'10". We've always emphasized that she's tall her dad and grandmothers (I'm average height), and those tall genes are part of what her ancestors passed down to her. Second, you are doing your own child a disservice by getting upset or defensive over comments about their height. Why? Because people comment on these things, like it or not, and you won't always be there to field those comments. So teach your child that it's not something to take as an insult and model how to respond neutrally. Then they'll know how to respond to their friends and the mean kids on the playground. |
Do they call him Sasquatch? |
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I think people are being oversensitive. People will often casually compliment kids, and it’s nothing more than routine chit chat without really thinking. “My how he has grown!” “she is getting so tall!” “he looks just like his dad!” “Such pretty green eyes!” “What a big boy! Future linebacker on your hands har har!” or whatever. It is meant as a mundane chat and nothing more.
I was adopted as a newborn, and more than one acquaintance (who did not know I was adopted) said things like “oh I can sure see the resemblance with the Johnson side!” “she really takes after her dad” or similar blah blah. There was definitely no resemblance lol. We’d just laugh about it later. I have boy/girl twins and got “are they identical? for years. Also “you’ve sure got your hands full!!”. It was annoying, but the intention was good and I took it that way. |
You have not seen some of the threads on this site about tall women. People do sometimes treat very tall people like side shows at the circus. (I am not super tall but people in my extended family are.) I agree with you it's never a bad thing for a guy probably other than they probably get sick of the comments. I don't get the doubling down insistence that you know how it lands for all tall people on the planet. Maybe just go with wow, I never thought of it that way and consider other people's point of view and maybe let it impact things you say moving forward? |
I think this makes sense. I think it also makes sense that people generally “think” they are giving a compliment, even if it isn’t received that way. Some people genuinely do think that being tall for a girl is a good thing, and are giving a compliment. My teen DD is tallish would love to be truly tall. She is envious of her very tall friend. I don’t comment on kids’ heights but from what I have seen, times are changing (sports maybe? not sure why) and height is often considered an asset for women too. That said, I have never heard anyone tell a shorter boy “oh wow are you short!” because nearly everyone would consider that to be very rude. |
Listen, I am a tall woman. My daughter is a tall girl. Some of you are just too GD sensitive to function in society. It’s a massive character flaw to CHOOSE to take harmless comments as insults. You need to work on that instead of trying to control every other human being in the world. I will continue to converse with other people like a mature, functioning adult. If someone chooses to be offended by benign chitchat that’s their problem and I won’t lose a wink of sleep over it. |