Shocked at how many families in nice DMV neighborhoods are living in relatives' homes

[Anonymous]

The trend of aging in place isn’t “shocking” to anyone other than OP. I believe that is what he is referring to and it is written and fretted about all the time. So, we are all contributing to his pity party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meritocracy is out and inheritance is in is the message from OP.

OP is just jealous and doesn’t seem to have a clue about how the world works.

I disagree.
She is answering the frequently asked question of “how are young people affording this crazy house prices.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if you are offended why are living there? By fact of living in an “upscale DMV neighborhood” you are part of the same human drive of striving and wealth accumulation.

This is the point of striving - getting an education, getting a high paying job, accumulating property - so that you can make life easier for your kids and pass on wealth/property.

This. We're doing all this for our kids. An "upscale DMV neighborhood" isn't the place for OP if she wants to avoid this.

OP here:
We picked a neighborhood with a relatively short'ish commute to our offices and "good enough" school pyramid. Lived here for many years and wasn't until our kid was in school that we realized how prevalent this trend is in our area. This is not neighborhood specific, as we've encountered it across neighborhoods inside-the-Beltway.

Like a poster previously said, my post was more about the illusion of affordability. It was not a complaint about "fairness." Notice I never said anything about the world being unfair in my original post. Instead, a bunch of hyper-ventilating defensive DCUM posters who clearly had a few legs up in life put words in my mouth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The trend of aging in place isn’t “shocking” to anyone other than OP. I believe that is what he is referring to and it is written and fretted about all the time. So, we are all contributing to his pity party.

OP here:
What pity party? I got mine and bought it. Other people bought it with their parents' money, or are living in a family home and "paying rent."

No pity party on my part. However, this topics does appear to have brought out lots of defensive and insecure tools.

[Anonymous]

You sound mad that other people’s parents have helped them out?? Most parents who can help their kids get ahead financially will do it. Congrats to you for getting ahead in life without a leg up but I am not sure why you are so upset about other people’s financial situations

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound mad that other people’s parents have helped them out?? Most parents who can help their kids get ahead financially will do it. Congrats to you for getting ahead in life without a leg up but I am not sure why you are so upset about other people’s financial situations

Not upset. Just stating facts.

As someone else pointed out earlier:

Anonymous wrote:
I have lived all over the country and this is more predominant here than anywhere else I have lived.

I think this is so true. If there's another place in this country with even more reliance on family wealth, feel free to let us know.

[Anonymous]

The dream is to make it and then give your kids a better life than you had. Sounds like you’re getting there and shouldn’t be so resentful of those who were born lucky

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are a LOT of people in this area who get help from their families, whether it's being able to live in the family home for free (or reduced rent), or being able to send their kids to private school on the grandparents' dime.

This. And they get so defensive about it. It’s bizarre. Just own it and move on.

[Anonymous]

I live in an upper class neighborhood in a larger city and don’t know a single person doing this. Many parents purchased homes outright for their adult kids but people do not live with them. So odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound mad that other people’s parents have helped them out?? Most parents who can help their kids get ahead financially will do it. Congrats to you for getting ahead in life without a leg up but I am not sure why you are so upset about other people’s financial situations

Not upset. Just stating facts.

As someone else pointed out earlier:

Anonymous wrote:
I have lived all over the country and this is more predominant here than anywhere else I have lived.

I think this is so true. If there's another place in this country with even more reliance on family wealth, feel free to let us know.

I do think that DC attracts smart, charismatic trustfundarians who want to work in nonprofits, foundations, etc. There must be tons of generational wealth in NYC. It is much bigger population-wise, so I would think more folks are living on the dole there than here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound mad that other people’s parents have helped them out?? Most parents who can help their kids get ahead financially will do it. Congrats to you for getting ahead in life without a leg up but I am not sure why you are so upset about other people’s financial situations

Not upset. Just stating facts.

As someone else pointed out earlier:

Anonymous wrote:
I have lived all over the country and this is more predominant here than anywhere else I have lived.

I think this is so true. If there's another place in this country with even more reliance on family wealth, feel free to let us know.

I do think that DC attracts smart, charismatic trustfundarians who want to work in nonprofits, foundations, etc. There must be tons of generational wealth in NYC. It is much bigger population-wise, so I would think more folks are living on the dole there than here.

Go on the subway in NYC and it will disabuse you of the general level of wealth in NYC. Once you get out of a few choice neighborhoods in Manhattan and Brooklyn, you realize that most of NYC is broke-@ss poor. NYC - like Miami - is a barbell distribution of wealth, whereas the DMV has been known for decades as having the highest median wealth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if you are offended why are living there? By fact of living in an “upscale DMV neighborhood” you are part of the same human drive of striving and wealth accumulation.

This is the point of striving - getting an education, getting a high paying job, accumulating property - so that you can make life easier for your kids and pass on wealth/property.

This. We're doing all this for our kids. An "upscale DMV neighborhood" isn't the place for OP if she wants to avoid this.

OP here:
We picked a neighborhood with a relatively short'ish commute to our offices and "good enough" school pyramid. Lived here for many years and wasn't until our kid was in school that we realized how prevalent this trend is in our area. This is not neighborhood specific, as we've encountered it across neighborhoods inside-the-Beltway.

Like a poster previously said, my post was more about the illusion of affordability. It was not a complaint about "fairness." Notice I never said anything about the world being unfair in my original post. Instead, a bunch of hyper-ventilating defensive DCUM posters who clearly had a few legs up in life put words in my mouth.

[Anonymous]

Hope that OP doesn’t write for a living. Funny that he thinks his post wouldn’t inspire a reaction of this sort, especially since it is likely an exaggeration and a pity party.

[Anonymous]

I live in the Palisades and this describes so many families! If you include families that received significant $$ for down payments and families who have their kids' private school paid for my grandparents, it feels like a very large % of families (to me). For all of you who do not get this help -- please don't jump on me. I didn't say ALL, but it is a lot more than I think people recognize. I have also witnessed these families look down on living in places in MD & VA (again, not all!), and who seem to completely miss the irony that they would never be able to afford this neighborhood otherwise.

OP, people are jumping on you for feeling jealous because well, (1) it's easy and putting someone down makes a lot of people feel better for a moment and (2) many wealthy people are very, very touchy about acknowledging the help they've received.

But I agree with you--- transparency here is helpful.

[Anonymous]

How does everyone know who's getting down payments from parents and grandparents paying for private schools? I'm in both of those categories but I've told almost no one. I may have mentioned that my parents pay for the kids' private schools to a few old friends who already know family's situation because we've been close for decades. But none of my neighbors, coworkers, or parents at my kids' school knows this. And I have never mentioned the down payment to anyone. I can't imagine why I would ever tell them. Is this something people talk about or is it a lot of speculation?