I stalk my DS’s email

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ignore these people. Congrats and good job, Mom or Dad!

Agree -- ignore the haters with nothing better to do & congrats. These schools send so many emails, I can see how things slip through.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:half you people sound very old.

email is not private for any 15yo. it's school announcements and junk mail.

it's not their snap account, or instagram, or texts. those are private.

having a parent do any of this is not invasive, unless you also make them go to the mailbox and retrieve their own snail mail.

email turns into a work thing quickly, once they're out in the world.

to think this is invasive is just to show you're out of touch.

It has nothing to do with privacy. It has everything to do with teaching a kid to get things done themselves without mommy and daddy checking behind them or worse, doing it for them.

What do you care what other people do? Having a generic college email account is pretty standard these days. With a lot of money on the line, it’s common for parents and students to have access. If that bugs you, oh well.

It’s sad for the kids. Mom won’t let them grow up and learn to be an adult. Oh well.

My kid isn’t sad at all. She’s quite happy I have access in case she misses anything.

It’s sad FOR the kids. That they’re being crippled by their parents but don’t realize it yet. Of course your DD isn’t sad - she’s psyched. Shes got mommy coming to the rescue - there’s no need to put in full effort. Shes got it made in the shade, that one. Lets see how not sad she is in 10-15 years…

Why do you assume she’s putting in no effort? Sounds like you have preconceived notions that aren’t accurate. My kid, like many others, works waaay harder than we ever did when we were growing up. They’re managing multiple ECs and hours of HW, sports, family and household responsibilities and whatever else.

Honestly a college email account is so minor to them.

Looks like you need someone to proofread for you. I never said no effort. I said FULL effort. Big difference.
Btw ALL of our kids are putting in effort. And most of the parents aren’t checking their emails.

Again. Why do you care?

Because I feel bad for kids that are victims of their parents neuroses. I mean do what you want - you’re not going to change. But don’t complain when your kid runs into problems later and life and runs to you for help. Or why your 35 yo is having problems at work or finding a job.

You don’t have to feel bad for them. lol. These kids are thriving and have bright futures.

That their mom and dad paved the way for and handed them on a platter. What a success story!

[Anonymous]

Ignore the haters. I checked my DC's email during the college admissions process and he is now a rising Junior with a 3.9 average and an excellent internship this summer (and no, I don't have access to his college email).

There's a lot going on during the senior year of HS, the application process has got a lot of moving parts, and the consequences of missing something important are too severe. How are kids supposed to learn what they don't know? We don't expect kids to learn math by themselves, I don't know why they're supposed to just figure out these other skills without help.

[Anonymous]

One of the best bits of advice from our private college coach was for DC to have a 'throw away' email and share the password with us to avoid situations exactly like this.

Shocked at all the parents bagging on this. How many of you have assistants in your work lives??

Senior year is busy AF and what student couldn't use a bit of help? Isn't looking to help your precious snowflake what 99% of you are doing on this forum??

Get over yourselves and your envy of the UChicago acceptance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:half you people sound very old.

email is not private for any 15yo. it's school announcements and junk mail.

it's not their snap account, or instagram, or texts. those are private.

having a parent do any of this is not invasive, unless you also make them go to the mailbox and retrieve their own snail mail.

email turns into a work thing quickly, once they're out in the world.

to think this is invasive is just to show you're out of touch.

I think it’s infantilizing them, I didn’t say anything about privacy concerns. Until colleges start sending their acceptance emails via snap or insta, they should learn to check their email since that’s where the acceptances come in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:half you people sound very old.

email is not private for any 15yo. it's school announcements and junk mail.

it's not their snap account, or instagram, or texts. those are private.

having a parent do any of this is not invasive, unless you also make them go to the mailbox and retrieve their own snail mail.

email turns into a work thing quickly, once they're out in the world.

to think this is invasive is just to show you're out of touch.

It has nothing to do with privacy. It has everything to do with teaching a kid to get things done themselves without mommy and daddy checking behind them or worse, doing it for them.

What do you care what other people do? Having a generic college email account is pretty standard these days. With a lot of money on the line, it’s common for parents and students to have access. If that bugs you, oh well.

It’s sad for the kids. Mom won’t let them grow up and learn to be an adult. Oh well.

My kid isn’t sad at all. She’s quite happy I have access in case she misses anything.

It’s sad FOR the kids. That they’re being crippled by their parents but don’t realize it yet. Of course your DD isn’t sad - she’s psyched. Shes got mommy coming to the rescue - there’s no need to put in full effort. Shes got it made in the shade, that one. Lets see how not sad she is in 10-15 years…

Why do you assume she’s putting in no effort? Sounds like you have preconceived notions that aren’t accurate. My kid, like many others, works waaay harder than we ever did when we were growing up. They’re managing multiple ECs and hours of HW, sports, family and household responsibilities and whatever else.

Honestly a college email account is so minor to them.

Looks like you need someone to proofread for you. I never said no effort. I said FULL effort. Big difference.
Btw ALL of our kids are putting in effort. And most of the parents aren’t checking their emails.

Again. Why do you care?

Because I feel bad for kids that are victims of their parents neuroses. I mean do what you want - you’re not going to change. But don’t complain when your kid runs into problems later and life and runs to you for help. Or why your 35 yo is having problems at work or finding a job.

You don’t have to feel bad for them. lol. These kids are thriving and have bright futures.

Lol! Go read the forums about the failure to launch kids "but I was so involved....what did I do wrong???"

Come back in 20 years and tell me how happy they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:half you people sound very old.

email is not private for any 15yo. it's school announcements and junk mail.

it's not their snap account, or instagram, or texts. those are private.

having a parent do any of this is not invasive, unless you also make them go to the mailbox and retrieve their own snail mail.

email turns into a work thing quickly, once they're out in the world.

to think this is invasive is just to show you're out of touch.

I think it’s infantilizing them, I didn’t say anything about privacy concerns. Until colleges start sending their acceptance emails via snap or insta, they should learn to check their email since that’s where the acceptances come in.

I think one issue is they are the post-email generation. Its like telling them to look in the mailbox.

[Anonymous]

He will learn to check is own email when there are consequences he experiences. Unfortunately, the longer that takes, the greater the consequences will be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think some people don't understand how email works with this younger generation and is making this situation out to be something it isn't.

Hell, when my DH was applying for jobs years ago and sending/receiving tons of emails, I helped him manage them. I am sure there were times he could have missed something if he hasn't had another pair of eyes on it. No executive functioning issues.

I think some parents are pissed that their kid if not headed to somewhere like UChicago, and they have regrets that they weren't more involved the last 4 years...maybe things would have worked out differently. Instead of owning up to those feelings, they attack parents who were on top of it. "We all agree this is CRAZY micromanaging and SO SAD that a kid can't get there without his MOMMY! Right, guys???" Please.

My kid is at UChicago. I promise you that lack of ability to check email and keep on top of his stuff is going to affect this kid next year unless he figures it out by then. No this generation doesn’t use email like we did/do. But all important notifications come in on email. All. They need to learn to manage or they will miss both opportunities and will court avoidable failures.

[Anonymous]

The haters are hilarious. All the “hands off” parents I know have failure to launch kids. One works at a grocery store part-time and lives at home at 19. Another has a kid that goes to GMU but is scared to drive so won’t get a license.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He gave me his password bc I think he misses 90% of his emails. Guess what I found today? An email saying to check his portal at UChicago, and hes off the wait list at Brown. He was ecstatic.

Flame me all you want. I’m so relieved I asked him to let me do this.

I’d say hopefully he’s learned a lesson, but I’m dead sure he hasn’t. At least he can be a dolt with a UChicago degree.

Lady nobody cares. Why are you sharing? That's between you and him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The haters are hilarious. All the “hands off” parents I know have failure to launch kids. One works at a grocery store part-time and lives at home at 19. Another has a kid that goes to GMU but is scared to drive so won’t get a license.

Wow 19 years old and you are calling them a 'failure to thrive' 19 is still really young and if they aren't living in your home why do you care?

Also, my dc also is fearful of driving and around here they have every right! I know plenty of people who never learned and yet are productive members of society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The haters are hilarious. All the “hands off” parents I know have failure to launch kids. One works at a grocery store part-time and lives at home at 19. Another has a kid that goes to GMU but is scared to drive so won’t get a license.

Wow. So you know two hands off parents. Not surprising.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:half you people sound very old.

email is not private for any 15yo. it's school announcements and junk mail.

it's not their snap account, or instagram, or texts. those are private.

having a parent do any of this is not invasive, unless you also make them go to the mailbox and retrieve their own snail mail.

email turns into a work thing quickly, once they're out in the world.

to think this is invasive is just to show you're out of touch.

I think it’s infantilizing them, I didn’t say anything about privacy concerns. Until colleges start sending their acceptance emails via snap or insta, they should learn to check their email since that’s where the acceptances come in.

I think one issue is they are the post-email generation. Its like telling them to look in the mailbox.

I remember getting email in highschool. However my college acceptance came in the mailbox. Guess who was waiting by the mailbox everyday until it came? Not my mom!

[Anonymous]

I find it ironic that so many parents hire private counselors, spend hours on forums, read all the books just to help with college admissions. And a mom that helps manage an email account amidst the onslaught of marketing that a high-achieving student attracts the trolls.

WTF