Yes. Your Kid is overscheduled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rant.

I'm sick of going out with Mom friends who are complaining about how busy their kids are. GUESS WHAT? You can control that. And I'm annoyed about your kid having to leave games or missing games because they have another sport that they choose over my kid's team. Sucks to forfeit because half the team chose soccer over baseball. GUESS WHAT? You can control that too.

And whatever happened to being bored? Lazing around with a book? Playdates? Riding your bike around the neighborhood to see who is around? I can't even schedule a d@mn playdate because your kid has one of their 3 sports or private lessons for one of those 3 sports every waking moment of the weekend.

You're the freaking parent. Tell your kid they need to pick and can't do every sport and activity under the sun. PROBLEM SOLVED.

And didn't we all agree that the one part of COVID that we liked was the slower pace and more time with family? Why are we overcorrecting now?

Can't say this to their faces, so I'm saying it here.

So my kids shouldn’t participate in any activities so they are around to entertain your kids? Ok, got it. Give me a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nooe is around for playdates where we are
I can either take off work early and do childcare or take my kid to a 4:30 karate class that she loves. I do think we have too many activities right now and will scale back when one phases out and its warmer and we can do playground evenings instead. Early ES is such a great time to try new things and there isnt too much homework is any and there is so much energy these kids have.

Yes nobody is free for play dates. They are in aftercare, or else being shuttled around to math or sports. I had my kid take a semester off aftercare and had light activity schedule and there was nobody around.

Some of us have jobs. Hence, aftercare.

[Anonymous]

My kid’s pediatrician wholeheartedly endorses keeping elementary-aged kids active in many sports (my son is 6 for what it’s worth)

[Anonymous]

Amen, OP. But with 9 pages in this thread, you are probably getting flamed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I partly blame the culture around here -it’s hard to do any sports in a chill way regardless of age. If your kid wants to swim, they are either only swimming in the summer or they are swimming at least 3 days a week year round. And if you don’t start early enough you are “behind” so everyone wants to let their kids try a couple things out.

My oldest asks to do activities because that’s where her friends are. They aren’t available if she goes and knocks on their door. We allow less than a lot of families (my daughter is really only doing dance and Girl Scouts my son is only doing soccer and we will see if it bites us in the a*s later). It’s a balance

Why not let them do the activities they want to?

PP you are responding to and I do let them do some of the activities that they want to do. But they have to pick because I’m not willing to spend all evening every evening driving both kids around and dragging the little guys because he can’t stay home alone. I also see worse behavior when they are too busy. So one of my kids is mildly interested in swimming but I’m not willing to add 3 nights a week or something. But they get to do what they are most excited about.

And they us find for your family. But don’t expect my family to be home all the time because you need a play date.

I don’t expect anything! My kids are fine, and if they would prefer to have a few more playdates it’s hardly the end of the world. But when I’m picking my daughter up and her friend is begging to come over with my DD and one of the other girls who is walking home with us but can’t because she (the friend) has swim and then basketball I feel a little sad. I think she likes those things! But knows that she’s missing out. Honestly the only reason we continue to keep her in Girl Scouts is it’s the only social thing that some kids do and that is when she sees those girls.

Maybe the parents feel sad for your kids that they don't get the same opportunities to learn new skills. I feel sad for kids like yours who se parents are too lazy to do anything extra for them. Mine would much rather do sports or music than hang out at your house.

How rude! FYI research shows free play is far superior to organized activities. Even pickup sports are superior to organized sports. Too bad your child won’t be able to function without someone directing them all the time or telling them what to do while my kids will learn not just the sport but also how to deal with friends/neighbors/teammates etc. You can think parents who let their kids enjoy their childhood without pushing them into scheduled activities are lazy but we value something thats far more important than playing on 3-4 different teams each season.

NP but where do you live with so many pickup sports? I would love that, but in my town everyone is… super scheduled.

[Anonymous]

Free play is all fun and games until middle school. Then the kids with no activities have nothing to do and it’s downhill from there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Speak for yourself, lady. Mine has way too much time at home to play video games.

Yep, this can be an issue.

I used to think like OP until I became a stepmom. My two teen stepkids have never done many activities. What do they do all day? Sit in their rooms and play video games.

Of course, better parenting could mean they weren't allowed to play video games all day long and maybe they would go outside or read a book or hang out in person with a friend. But as the stepmom, I can't do anything about that. (I've tried, believe me.)

It's so unhealthy. Now I wish they played sports, even tho I hate sports and originally was glad we didn't have to spend our time shuttling them around to stuff.

I still kinda agree, OP, tho, to a degree. I see your point. But the problem is kids wind up on screens a lot.

[Anonymous]

OP I hear you, but....

1) I really wanted to be the mom whose kids had lots of free play with neighborhood kids. Guess what? Neighborhood kids are all in aftercare, or activities. I'm not working now so activities it is. Even better, we have made a few wonderful friends over the years, and had lots of practice meeting new friends.

2) It is sad but true that sports are so intense your child is "behind" if they didn't start in kinder. I'm sure some of that is that neither my partner nor I are super athletic so we're not exactly shooting hoops with our kids on weekends. IME the bigger problem is that it is tough to get on a neighborhood or school team after kindergarten. My kids who have joined teams after kindergarten have ended up on teams with kids from lots of schools or neighborhoods. That has its own benefits but doesn't help my kid become better friends with classmates or neighborhood kids (which is half the reason I want my kids to play rec sports in the first place, the other half is developing a healthy lifestyle).

3) If I could know all schedules for an entire year AND sign up for everything all at once AND get all of the schedules I wanted, I'd be a lot less frazzled. As it is, I register for baseball and soccer in January. In March I register for parks and rec, which is a complete lottery for swimming and gymnastics, other things are less crazy to get into. Music is completely separate and the sanest schedule of all since I can set it once for the year. If my kids were on a swim team that would have a set schedule for the year, but my kids aren't competitive swimmers. They just enjoy swimming and I want them to be strong enough swimmers to be safe.

4) Scheduled activities are at least some guaranteed time my kids aren't reading exclusively or pestering me for more screen time. This isn't the reason I started signing up my kids for activities, but has become a silver lining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Free play is all fun and games until middle school. Then the kids with no activities have nothing to do and it’s downhill from there.

Not for all kids, our neighborhood friends and my sibling had a blast playing throughout middle school. And why not, we were kids having fun. Free play is very important for middle schoolers, I've even read articles on it. I'm not sure why or when ppl deemed them too old to do this. It was the norm for us. I don't know why ppl think they aren't deserving of free play.

[Anonymous]

Im with you OP. I feel for parents who are stressed and overwhelmed by scheduling but, yeah, to your example of a 3y/o in soccer…that’s 100% on the parents. You don’t need to sign your kid up for everything under the sun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious as to what some parents would say if their child came to them not wanting to do all of the activities?

I'd be thrilled.

I have those kids. They want to just play outside and not do any activities. My kids never wanted to join a soccer team because their friends joined it, or any other teams because of their friends.

You find activities that interest them. We tried all kids and then the kid selected what they want. And, it’s changed over time.

[Anonymous]

It's weird to have a house rule that your kids must play one organized sport per season to ensure they get exercise. Do they eat lard by the gallon and not move at all unless there is a ball to chase? Maybe it's because I have boys who are super wild and active naturally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Regardless of the activities, sport or non sport, kods shouldn't be overscheduled. What's so wrong with free play?

They won't get into an Ivy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Free play is all fun and games until middle school. Then the kids with no activities have nothing to do and it’s downhill from there.

Yep, those are the kids who get in trouble. Just hanging around with nothing to do at those ages leaves lots of time for drugs and sex. I saw it among other kids growing up, saw it among kids in the same grade with my kids over the years.

Idle hands and all that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nooe is around for playdates where we are
I can either take off work early and do childcare or take my kid to a 4:30 karate class that she loves. I do think we have too many activities right now and will scale back when one phases out and its warmer and we can do playground evenings instead. Early ES is such a great time to try new things and there isnt too much homework is any and there is so much energy these kids have.

Yes nobody is free for play dates. They are in aftercare, or else being shuttled around to math or sports. I had my kid take a semester off aftercare and had light activity schedule and there was nobody around.

Some of us have jobs. Hence, aftercare.

You can do activities in the evening or weekends.