We are saying the same thing. And, you are making my point. People exposed to AO are clearly not responsible for their cancer. Neither are people with cervical cancer because of HPV, mesothelioma because their parents used baby powder during diaper changes, coal miners or people addicted to nicotine long before the tobacco industry was forced to reveal how addictive it was. And, yet, their choices DO have a direct correlation with their cancer. (Untreated obesity also has a direct correlation with some cancers). “Lifestyle choices,” like smoking and obesity and diet (even for people ant a normal BMI) are also correlated with cognitive impairment and dementia. And yet, no one (who is sane) says don’t provide people with cancer with incredibly expensive life saving or life prolonging drugs. No one says— exclude dementia treatment because that person smoked or ate a lot of trans fats. Now Agent Orange. Maybe I should have said burn pits. But the fact is that if you wanted to avoid the draft enough, there were ways. Get a student deferral. Shoot yourself in the foot. Flee to Canada. Claim a religious exemption. Now does it sound crazy and unfeeling to say— they could have avoided Agent Orange if they had taken extreme (and unethical) measures? Yes it does. But, it also sounds crazy to say “just eat less” to lose weight, when the person has done that for years without success. And when 90% of people who lose a lot of weight gain it back. Do you really think that 90% had the willpower to drop 50 pounds, but at the same time lack willpower and gained it back. So you want to exclude treatment. And, instead of giving them a safe and effective medication that can be reversed in a week or two if there are side effects, you want force them to do something crazy that harms their body like cutting their stomach in half to lose weight. Because fatties don’t deserve safe and effective. They should suffer. How extreme does someone’s behavior have to be before you decide that they have tried hard enough to be deemed worth of medical care? Do they have to shoot themselves in the foot or do bariatric surgery to be worth of medical care in your eyes? Obesity isn’t treated the same as other “lifestyle diseases”. And the proof is in your response. Your plan to just have people reduced calories tried every diet and exercise out there over decades or to have them undergo surgery that can mess up their GI system for the rest of their lives is as crazy as saying that people who are drafted should have fled the country of maimed themselves to avoid Vietnam and Agent Orange. |
Thank you for that crack actuarial analysis. |
Okay. Here’s my truth.In 2000, before PPD was screened for or treated well (especially in the rural South, where I lived at the time) I had a premie who almost died— more than once, while I stood there. I finally got her home, but literally stopped sleeping at all over a period of months because she was high SIDs risk. I was afraid she would die if I wasn’t watching her 24/7. So I did. And I developed crippling anxiety and depression. But, I kept getting up and caring for my child, because that was my job. Just like you are saying depressed and anxious people should do. I tried to push through. (Plus, there was an ADHD toddler in the mix). And I didn’t tell anyone how bad it was and how in over my head I was, because mothers are supposed to instantly bond with their babies and feel all love and wonder all the time and enjoy every minute. I couldn’t admit out loud that I didn’t feel overwhelming love and awe. I felt crippling anxiety every moment of every day and by month I hated myself more and more because I was a crappy mother— because a good mother wouldn’t pray that her kids would just go away for a week or two so she could sleep and take care of herself. And I loved my kids so much, I knew they deserved amazing parents— so not me. Eventually, I decided that my kids would be better off if I wasn’t there. And better off if I died before they could even remember me, because I was that terrible a parent. So, I celebrate my daughters first birthday. And the next day called in sick with a “migraine”. And took every pill I could find. And woke up three days later on a ventilator. The path back was so long and so hard and the depression was so intense that two years later (after trying so many meds and so much therapy) we seriously considered electroshock therapy. I could have asked for help months earlier. I could have started medication and therapy 9 months earlier when I realized I had a problem. But I didn’t- because of your TRUTH that anxiety and depression could be managed by sheer willpower and that it was shameful to need medication and therapy and medical interventions because of PPD. After all, love for your children and willpower can solve these issues. I believed that. And when it didn’t, I decided I was so defective that my kids were better off without me. And now, 20+ years later, no one besides my husband, parents, in-laws. And doctors know this about me. Because it’s still shameful to admit you tried kill yourself while parenting young children (and because I would never want my children o know and feel that they in any way, at any point drove to suicide. So here’s a TRUTH— mental illness, ADHD, substance abuse, obesity — these are not moral failings. They are are usually a combination of bad genetics, difficult circumstances, a person’s environment and biochemical imbalances. And when you say these disease are self inflicted or easily controlled with willpower, people become afraid to admit they need treatment because of the stigma— you would judge them for not just powering through. And because you would rather see people like me die than take advantage of medications like Zoloft and Zepbound and interventions like psychotherapy. |
Why don't you walk outside? |
Jesus Christ woman, post partum depression is of course a real (and temporary) condition that is known about and of course needs acute treatment. It’s unfortunate they didn’t screen for it when you needed help (or that you chose not to get screened when you knew you had a problem- your statements are actually contradictory). But your story doesn’t change the fact that the vast majority or people suffering from anxiety or depression are NOT dealing with PPD and would be BETTER OFF making the lifestyle changes that have been discussed. (IOW - *everything* is not about *you*) And I ALREADY SAID these are not moral failings but you apparently refuse to acknowledge that because you are so determined to be a victim. I also never said that depression and anxiety can be managed through “sheer willpower” or that taking medication is “shameful”. You are putting words in my mouth. Your last paragraph is not only ridiculously over dramatic, it is a really disgusting and unfounded accusation against me (I don’t want to see anyone die, what a nasty, horrible thing to say). |
Congrats! I bet you look and feel great now. I for one have enjoyed the face gains and increased confidence. |
DP. You really are a piece of work. G-d grant you the continued good fortune to never deal with a serious mental illness. |
This is a bizarre response. I’m not trying to control anyone, but I refuse to pretend that obesity is some uncontrollable disease just to protect others’ egos. I’m gaining weight as I age but I know it’s because I’m eating more and moving less than I used to. I don’t feel like a bad person or a moral failure, but I also know d@mn well that my weight gain is 100% my own “fault” and I could lose it if I really wanted to. |
What about rebound? I’d take it to lose 20lbs but I’m worried about it coming right back and then more. I believe my ideal weight (for BP and joints) is 20lb lighter but I’m really not unhealthy at this weight … |
Why do you assume that I don’t? Why do you assume that I don’t practice what I preach? I think some if you need anger management classes more than you need anxiety meds. |
You are on here haranguing people repeatedly for taking a medication to lose weight. You’re fighting some kind of psychological proxy battle; could not be more obvious! Generally this kind of behavior is a defense mechanism of some sort. My guess is you strongly rely on notions of “fault” and “self control” for your identity, and it really disturbs you to see that these may not be necessary anymore when it comes to weight. |
You can only hope. |
You just wrote a multi-paragraph screed in response to a post about a woman’s battle with a sick baby, PPD and suicide. you have ISH. |
At this point I have no doubt that you are dealing with some sort of mental illness. |
Why did you click this thread if it is not of interest to you? |