Two entrees?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, ignore the poster telling you that you have food issues. You have perfectly reasonable expectations of what a normal person should eat.

This thread is such a perfect metaphor for the boomer generation. Hoarding to their own detriment and not giving an eff about the younger generations. And yes, I see eating copious amounts of food as a form of hoarding.

No she does not. She is petty and mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, ignore the poster telling you that you have food issues. You have perfectly reasonable expectations of what a normal person should eat.

This thread is such a perfect metaphor for the boomer generation. Hoarding to their own detriment and not giving an eff about the younger generations. And yes, I see eating copious amounts of food as a form of hoarding.

Don't you ever feel stupid going all out to support whatever nonsense an OP comes up with and is more often than not trolling with? These balls to the wall OP supporters are just troll handmaidens. They lap it all up and keep these threads going for pages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you go out to eat with him? I have boomer relatives who are bonkers about food and money too. We don’t go out with them anymore.

They translate being frugal as taking advantage of others. If someone else is paying, it’s SCORE and they behave like they have never eaten before or are at a sizzler buffet where it’s all you can carry out. They “ invited” us out once. They had two buy one entree get one free. They wanted us to buy the entree, they would get the free one. Because there was a limit of one coupon per table they wanted us to split up into two tables next to each other. In their minds they scored a free dinner.

When they come to family events, the uncle will always be at the front of the line and fill his plate with 3-4 servings of the best meat. They know that by taking 4 servings one of their siblings, nieces or nephews won’t get any but they don’t care. It’s like a competition for them how much more they can get than others. It’s a PITA if you are the host because you either have to cook mountains of food or avoid serving anything perceived as high value.

Remember when Trump made a big deal that he gets two scoops of ice cream while everyone else only gets one. It’s that type of infantile greed and delight that others have less.

This is insightful and hilarious. You sound like a lot of fun. We go out with Fil because he asks to go out, he loves eating out (on other people’s dime), and he enjoys restaurants. I do not want to go out with him, nor do I want to make 2x the food for every meal and wash dishes and clean up with very little to no help from him. The only reason we invite him and visit him is because he doesn’t have any friends and is quite lonely after MIL passed. Plus my husband wants to make sure his father is okay and we love him. Is he irritating? Yes. I do think he’s absolutely behaving in an infantile manner.

Lacking friends/socialization opportunities and lacking money are two separate issues and his stinginess/greed makes it pretty clear why he is lacking the former.

If he was living meagerly off of social security and this was his only chance to splurge on a meal out, his selfish/boorish behavior might be somewhat more forgivable. In contrast, you and your husband (with limited resources and young dependents) regularly paying the tab while he orders 5 items and brags about his regular first class travel and plans to leave you nothing in his will just makes you sound like foolish chumps. He’s probably laughing at you behind your back for your naïveté.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, ignore the poster telling you that you have food issues. You have perfectly reasonable expectations of what a normal person should eat.

This thread is such a perfect metaphor for the boomer generation. Hoarding to their own detriment and not giving an eff about the younger generations. And yes, I see eating copious amounts of food as a form of hoarding.

Don't you ever feel stupid going all out to support whatever nonsense an OP comes up with and is more often than not trolling with? These balls to the wall OP supporters are just troll handmaidens. They lap it all up and keep these threads going for pages.

It's ironic that you keep responding. I don't think OP is a troll because what she says is quite relatable. But if I'm a fool for responding, what does that make you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m just amazed by the amount of food, frankly. Maybe my unhealthy relationship with my body image is showing, but that seems like an excessive quantity of food.

I agree. I am overweight and can eat a lot (NP here), but I cannot fathom eating that much. Often one entree is too much with restaurant portions.

OP, I think you or your husband need to talk to him if you’ll continue to go out to eat (which I wouldn’t want). You could say “we are starting to budget for meals, and will have one entree per person and 2-3 apps for the table. Does that work for
You?” If he says no, tell him he can pay for more.

It’s also weird for your kids to see him eating 2 entrees every time

[Anonymous]

OP, would love if you update after the next visit / with what you decide!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him BEFORE you go out: “Gary, you are free to order a drink, an appetizer, an entree and a dessert. We are happy to pay, but if you choose to order a second entree, be sure to tell the waiter to put it on a separate check. We don’t want our kids growing up thinking it’s OK to take advantage when others are treating them. We don’t want them to think it is normal for someone to order two entrees on top of tons of food and drink on someone else’s dime. It’s not OK, it’s rude.”

This would be an insane conversation to have. I can’t imagine if my DIL said this to me.

If you can’t live with it, far better to eat at home or go somewhere cheaper. If he wants to go somewhere expensive just say “money is a bit tight at the moment so we would rather stay in tonight”. Then he might offer to pay.

Don't want a conversation like that? Don't act rude and entitled. There is no defense for ordering two entrees when someone else is paying. None. Inexcusable behavior.

This conversation should only be between child and parent. In-laws need to butt out. Clearly husband isn't as bothered or he would have said something now. OP is powerless in this situation which is why she moans uselessly here in reality she would never have the balls to say this in person. Her husband would probably be appalled and shut her down anyway. But keep fantasizing!

Oh honey, did you not read where OP canceled one of FIL's orders? I'd say that was pretty ballsy, and apparently DH did not "shut that down." You tried, though! You tried so hard.

My husband gets so exasperated and embarrassed when his dad does this. He has definitely said things in the past too. I thought I posted earlier how my husband literally cut a pie slice in half when father in law took a ridiculous piece of pie.

The time when one of our kids begged us to order a dessert (I called it a monster sundae), some ridiculous thing that cost nearly $20, we shut that down explaining to our kids that it was really unhealthy and really expensive. What do you say when Fil smirks and orders it FOR HIMSELF???? I genuinely thought to myself okay he’s undermining my parenting but I assumed he would take one bite and slide it down to my kids. He ate the entire thing, not offering a bite to anyone else, and then hid in the bathroom until we paid the bill.

There is no way he didn’t realize how annoyed we were, especially my husband. DH even said, you’re going to order this, even after hearing that whole discussion? And FIL smirked and said it looked really good.

Something isn’t right with him I think.

With the comments about hiding in the bathroom after gorging himself, wondering if FIL has an eating disorder/ is throwing up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you have your own food issues as well OP.

Sure! I hate wasted food and I hate people who eat more than 2-3 helpings when it isn’t a celebration. If it’s just a regular Saturday no one needs the chicken parm and the hamburger plus a side salad plus the calimari and wash that down with the monster sundae. No one needs to eat that much! And if you do choose to eat that much, fine but I don’t want to pay for it (especially since the dinner conversation was just listening to a lecture/rant). I don’t live very extravagantly so maybe that’s another psychological issue.

But you said he eats it all, so where’s the waste? You are fixated on what you see at gluttony and greed around food. Time to work on your own food issues, OP.

Stop. There’s no serious dispute that the FIL had serious food issues, call it food insecurity/gluttong/ whatever. Stop gaslighting the OP into thinking she’s the one with the food issues. No one their right mind acts like the FIL (orders 2 entrees for himself, orders extra entrees to go, hogs meat at the table, monitors everyone else’s food intake).

No one is gaslighting OP! OP and her FIL both have food issues. If OP did not have food issues, her FIL's food issues would not be so wildly triggering for her. Time to get a grip on her own issues so she cope better around him and not seethe and perseverate over something that barely impacts her.

This. “I hate people who eat more than 2-3 helpings when it isn’t a celebration”. OP is monitoring other people’s food consumption as closely as her father-in-law is.

OP, you know that your FIL has food issues. Either set up the circumstances so as to make it impossible for him to overeat or accept that he is going to overeat.

The pie thing would bother me too because of the kids, but the solution to that is to plate before you bring to the table. From the kitchen, you yell “who wants pie?” And start cutting up and sending out the little plates. We generally do that just because it’s a bit easier to manage in the kitchen with drips, etc.. but it would solve your problem. Don’t put him in the situation where his demons control the size of the serving.

Maybe I have food issues, but if you think 4 servings of food is normal, I will respectfully note that you might as well. And no I’m not monitoring anyone’s food intake, except when someone takes almost all of everything and others go hungry. So yes I noticed when my father in law ate almost every single slice of the cold cuts and I ended up with a cheese sandwich so that my kids could have two slices each. That’s what I’m talking about.

But you know he’s going to do this. Why on earth don’t you keep some cold cuts back in the kitchen? Or have multiple serving platters so he can empty one and the rest of you can have one? Or, you know, maybe don’t start the platter on his end of the table? Stop acting like it’s surprise every time he gobbles up all the roast beef and you have to suffer with the cheese sandwich.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are talking $12-$35 per dinner a few times a year, for 8 pages?! You people are nuts

FIL cost with tax and tip is probably closer to $100 at least given app, dessert, and 2 entrees. And if he gets a drink. Could well be more depending on the restaurant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you have your own food issues as well OP.

Sure! I hate wasted food and I hate people who eat more than 2-3 helpings when it isn’t a celebration. If it’s just a regular Saturday no one needs the chicken parm and the hamburger plus a side salad plus the calimari and wash that down with the monster sundae. No one needs to eat that much! And if you do choose to eat that much, fine but I don’t want to pay for it (especially since the dinner conversation was just listening to a lecture/rant). I don’t live very extravagantly so maybe that’s another psychological issue.

But you said he eats it all, so where’s the waste? You are fixated on what you see at gluttony and greed around food. Time to work on your own food issues, OP.

Stop. There’s no serious dispute that the FIL had serious food issues, call it food insecurity/gluttong/ whatever. Stop gaslighting the OP into thinking she’s the one with the food issues. No one their right mind acts like the FIL (orders 2 entrees for himself, orders extra entrees to go, hogs meat at the table, monitors everyone else’s food intake).

No one is gaslighting OP! OP and her FIL both have food issues. If OP did not have food issues, her FIL's food issues would not be so wildly triggering for her. Time to get a grip on her own issues so she cope better around him and not seethe and perseverate over something that barely impacts her.

This. “I hate people who eat more than 2-3 helpings when it isn’t a celebration”. OP is monitoring other people’s food consumption as closely as her father-in-law is.

OP, you know that your FIL has food issues. Either set up the circumstances so as to make it impossible for him to overeat or accept that he is going to overeat.

The pie thing would bother me too because of the kids, but the solution to that is to plate before you bring to the table. From the kitchen, you yell “who wants pie?” And start cutting up and sending out the little plates. We generally do that just because it’s a bit easier to manage in the kitchen with drips, etc.. but it would solve your problem. Don’t put him in the situation where his demons control the size of the serving.

Maybe I have food issues, but if you think 4 servings of food is normal, I will respectfully note that you might as well. And no I’m not monitoring anyone’s food intake, except when someone takes almost all of everything and others go hungry. So yes I noticed when my father in law ate almost every single slice of the cold cuts and I ended up with a cheese sandwich so that my kids could have two slices each. That’s what I’m talking about.

But you know he’s going to do this. Why on earth don’t you keep some cold cuts back in the kitchen? Or have multiple serving platters so he can empty one and the rest of you can have one? Or, you know, maybe don’t start the platter on his end of the table? Stop acting like it’s surprise every time he gobbles up all the roast beef and you have to suffer with the cheese sandwich.

If OP were Italian this wouldn't even be an issue. I'd love to meet the FIL who could out-eat what an Italian MIL could serve. Not possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him BEFORE you go out: “Gary, you are free to order a drink, an appetizer, an entree and a dessert. We are happy to pay, but if you choose to order a second entree, be sure to tell the waiter to put it on a separate check. We don’t want our kids growing up thinking it’s OK to take advantage when others are treating them. We don’t want them to think it is normal for someone to order two entrees on top of tons of food and drink on someone else’s dime. It’s not OK, it’s rude.”

This would be an insane conversation to have. I can’t imagine if my DIL said this to me.

If you can’t live with it, far better to eat at home or go somewhere cheaper. If he wants to go somewhere expensive just say “money is a bit tight at the moment so we would rather stay in tonight”. Then he might offer to pay.

Don't want a conversation like that? Don't act rude and entitled. There is no defense for ordering two entrees when someone else is paying. None. Inexcusable behavior.

This conversation should only be between child and parent. In-laws need to butt out. Clearly husband isn't as bothered or he would have said something now. OP is powerless in this situation which is why she moans uselessly here in reality she would never have the balls to say this in person. Her husband would probably be appalled and shut her down anyway. But keep fantasizing!

Oh honey, did you not read where OP canceled one of FIL's orders? I'd say that was pretty ballsy, and apparently DH did not "shut that down." You tried, though! You tried so hard.

My husband gets so exasperated and embarrassed when his dad does this. He has definitely said things in the past too. I thought I posted earlier how my husband literally cut a pie slice in half when father in law took a ridiculous piece of pie.

The time when one of our kids begged us to order a dessert (I called it a monster sundae), some ridiculous thing that cost nearly $20, we shut that down explaining to our kids that it was really unhealthy and really expensive. What do you say when Fil smirks and orders it FOR HIMSELF???? I genuinely thought to myself okay he’s undermining my parenting but I assumed he would take one bite and slide it down to my kids. He ate the entire thing, not offering a bite to anyone else, and then hid in the bathroom until we paid the bill.

There is no way he didn’t realize how annoyed we were, especially my husband. DH even said, you’re going to order this, even after hearing that whole discussion? And FIL smirked and said it looked really good.

Something isn’t right with him I think.

With the comments about hiding in the bathroom after gorging himself, wondering if FIL has an eating disorder/ is throwing up

My DHs step mother did this at Disneyland. We stopped to meet them in the hotel because they were bored of the park. We sat down in a restaurant / bar area because FIL wanted a drink, got kids chicken from the kids menu to share as a snack and step mother ordered a huge multicolored sundae that honestly looked disgusting to me was an absolute dream for my 5 year old and 7 year old. We had to tell them no because it would have made them sick, they had already a bunch of sweets in the park etc. This nasty cow of a person proceeded to ooh and aww about her gluttony, never offering any to the kids. It was really gross behavior. My kids were really behaved. I was so proud. After awhile of this, I said I needed something from the room and took the kids with me, got them each a toy they wanted in the gift shop on the way up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, ignore the poster telling you that you have food issues. You have perfectly reasonable expectations of what a normal person should eat.

This thread is such a perfect metaphor for the boomer generation. Hoarding to their own detriment and not giving an eff about the younger generations. And yes, I see eating copious amounts of food as a form of hoarding.

Don't you ever feel stupid going all out to support whatever nonsense an OP comes up with and is more often than not trolling with? These balls to the wall OP supporters are just troll handmaidens. They lap it all up and keep these threads going for pages.

It's ironic that you keep responding. I don't think OP is a troll because what she says is quite relatable. But if I'm a fool for responding, what does that make you?

I don’t keep responding. Wrong person. Stay gullible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are talking $12-$35 per dinner a few times a year, for 8 pages?! You people are nuts

FIL cost with tax and tip is probably closer to $100 at least given app, dessert, and 2 entrees. And if he gets a drink. Could well be more depending on the restaurant

+1, op even mentioned that her FIl has expensive taste in his restaurant preferences so this is easily an extra $100-200 minimum, multiple times per year.

I would love for pp to share the magical sit down restaurant where one can get an appetizer, two entrees, and a dessert for $12-35 inclusive of tax and tip. Sounds like an *unbelieveable* bargain !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are talking $12-$35 per dinner a few times a year, for 8 pages?! You people are nuts

FIL cost with tax and tip is probably closer to $100 at least given app, dessert, and 2 entrees. And if he gets a drink. Could well be more depending on the restaurant

+1, op even mentioned that her FIl has expensive taste in his restaurant preferences so this is easily an extra $100-200 minimum, multiple times per year.

I would love for pp to share the magical sit down restaurant where one can get an appetizer, two entrees, and a dessert for $12-35 inclusive of tax and tip. Sounds like an *unbelieveable* bargain !

Yet the couple keeps taking him out again and again. Suckers who never learn. Oh well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him BEFORE you go out: “Gary, you are free to order a drink, an appetizer, an entree and a dessert. We are happy to pay, but if you choose to order a second entree, be sure to tell the waiter to put it on a separate check. We don’t want our kids growing up thinking it’s OK to take advantage when others are treating them. We don’t want them to think it is normal for someone to order two entrees on top of tons of food and drink on someone else’s dime. It’s not OK, it’s rude.”

This would be an insane conversation to have. I can’t imagine if my DIL said this to me.

If you can’t live with it, far better to eat at home or go somewhere cheaper. If he wants to go somewhere expensive just say “money is a bit tight at the moment so we would rather stay in tonight”. Then he might offer to pay.

Don't want a conversation like that? Don't act rude and entitled. There is no defense for ordering two entrees when someone else is paying. None. Inexcusable behavior.

This conversation should only be between child and parent. In-laws need to butt out. Clearly husband isn't as bothered or he would have said something now. OP is powerless in this situation which is why she moans uselessly here in reality she would never have the balls to say this in person. Her husband would probably be appalled and shut her down anyway. But keep fantasizing!

Oh honey, did you not read where OP canceled one of FIL's orders? I'd say that was pretty ballsy, and apparently DH did not "shut that down." You tried, though! You tried so hard.

My husband gets so exasperated and embarrassed when his dad does this. He has definitely said things in the past too. I thought I posted earlier how my husband literally cut a pie slice in half when father in law took a ridiculous piece of pie.

The time when one of our kids begged us to order a dessert (I called it a monster sundae), some ridiculous thing that cost nearly $20, we shut that down explaining to our kids that it was really unhealthy and really expensive. What do you say when Fil smirks and orders it FOR HIMSELF???? I genuinely thought to myself okay he’s undermining my parenting but I assumed he would take one bite and slide it down to my kids. He ate the entire thing, not offering a bite to anyone else, and then hid in the bathroom until we paid the bill.

There is no way he didn’t realize how annoyed we were, especially my husband. DH even said, you’re going to order this, even after hearing that whole discussion? And FIL smirked and said it looked really good.

Something isn’t right with him I think.

With the comments about hiding in the bathroom after gorging himself, wondering if FIL has an eating disorder/ is throwing up

When he hid in the bathroom, I would have removed his Monster Sundae, and ordered a regular one. If he wants a $20 sundae, he can pay for it himself.

I would not be eating out at all when he's in town. He can pitch in money wise, or order one meal.