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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why do you go out to eat with him? I have boomer relatives who are bonkers about food and money too. We don’t go out with them anymore.

They translate being frugal as taking advantage of others. If someone else is paying, it’s SCORE and they behave like they have never eaten before or are at a sizzler buffet where it’s all you can carry out. They “ invited” us out once. They had two buy one entree get one free. They wanted us to buy the entree, they would get the free one. Because there was a limit of one coupon per table they wanted us to split up into two tables next to each other. In their minds they scored a free dinner.

When they come to family events, the uncle will always be at the front of the line and fill his plate with 3-4 servings of the best meat. They know that by taking 4 servings one of their siblings, nieces or nephews won’t get any but they don’t care. It’s like a competition for them how much more they can get than others. It’s a PITA if you are the host because you either have to cook mountains of food or avoid serving anything perceived as high value.

Remember when Trump made a big deal that he gets two scoops of ice cream while everyone else only gets one. It’s that type of infantile greed and delight that others have less. [/quote]

This is insightful and hilarious. You sound like a lot of fun. We go out with Fil because he asks to go out, he loves eating out (on other people’s dime), and he enjoys restaurants. I do not want to go out with him, nor do I want to make 2x the food for every meal and wash dishes and clean up with very little to no help from him. The only reason we invite him and visit him is because he doesn’t have any friends and is quite lonely after MIL passed. Plus my husband wants to make sure his father is okay and we love him. Is he irritating? Yes. I do think he’s absolutely behaving in an infantile manner. [/quote]

Lacking friends/socialization opportunities and lacking money are two separate issues and his stinginess/greed makes it pretty clear why he is lacking the former.

If he was living meagerly off of social security and this was his only chance to splurge on a meal out, his selfish/boorish behavior might be somewhat more forgivable. In contrast, you and your husband (with limited resources and young dependents) regularly paying the tab while he orders 5 items and brags about his regular first class travel and plans to leave you nothing in his will just makes you sound like foolish chumps. He’s probably laughing at you behind your back for your naïveté.[/quote]

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