If women could go back in time

[Anonymous]

or accept that stay at home mom is better than working a full time job[/quote]

Clueless premise. One-income families (e.g., father works, mother stays home) started disappearing in the late 70s, were in free-fall in the 80s and gone by the 90s. The another 30 years went by. The corporations won.

https://www.epi.org/publication/charting-wage-stagnation/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would they still fight for workforce accessibility/equality or accept that stay at home mom is better than working a full time job and not seeing their kids grow up? Did it provide the happiness it promised?

Saw this question being asked and I know what I would choose

Clueless premise. One-income families (e.g., father works, mother stays home) started disappearing in the late 70s, were in free-fall in the 80s, and gone by the 90s. The another 30 years went by. The corporations won.

https://www.epi.org/publication/charting-wage-stagnation/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would they still fight for workforce accessibility/equality or accept that stay at home mom is better than working a full time job and not seeing their kids grow up? Did it provide the happiness it promised?

Saw this question being asked and I know what I would choose

Clueless premise. One-income families (e.g., father works, mother stays home) started disappearing in the late 70s, were in free-fall in the 80s, and gone by the 90s. The another 30 years went by. The corporations won.

https://www.epi.org/publication/charting-wage-stagnation/

Hate to break it to you but SAHMs are alive and well in higher education, higher income areas. My neighborhood and my sister's neighborhood are full of them, and we live several states apart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would they still fight for workforce accessibility/equality or accept that stay at home mom is better than working a full time job and not seeing their kids grow up? Did it provide the happiness it promised?

Saw this question being asked and I know what I would choose

Clueless premise. One-income families (e.g., father works, mother stays home) started disappearing in the late 70s, were in free-fall in the 80s, and gone by the 90s. The another 30 years went by. The corporations won.

https://www.epi.org/publication/charting-wage-stagnation/

Hate to break it to you but SAHMs are alive and well in higher education, higher income areas. My neighborhood and my sister's neighborhood are full of them, and we live several states apart.

Yeah, I'm in one. Talking about the majority of the population.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes think I would have liked to see women getting into the workforce without “The Pill” and reproductive control and this assumption that having children is some kind of recreational activity that you chose to engage in.

Like what would it look like to have married men and women in the workforce with the assumption that they would have children?

Women wouldn’t get anywhere. That was the pre-feminism model - when a woman of a certain class got married, she was expected to quit - teachers, secretaries, etc. because it was assumed they would get pregnant and not be able to work.

A PP pointed out the difference between European feminism and US feminism- that’s what you’re looking for - where there is the assumption that women will have kids, and it might “slow” their career development for a few years, but that’s a small percentage of their overall career so it makes sense to support caregivers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would they still fight for workforce accessibility/equality or accept that stay at home mom is better than working a full time job and not seeing their kids grow up? Did it provide the happiness it promised?

Saw this question being asked and I know what I would choose

I think about this all the time. I think if you have a good marriage and husband, assuming that one job is enough to live a nice life, the 50s way seems easier. But that's a lot of ifs.

Sure, if you'd be content keeping house. Some women wouldn't be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work full time, make >$500k, and see my children grow up and do tons of things together.

It’s how I manage my time and the systems we have set up.

I had to double check to make sure I hadn't posted this. I'm exactly the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work full time, make >$500k, and see my children grow up and do tons of things together.

It’s how I manage my time and the systems we have set up.

NP. I make less than you, but I make at least $200k per year working remotely and setting my schedule. I only compromised my time with my oldest when my oldest was young, and I was working the hardest. Since then, I've been able to make it all work quite nicely. My parents have a 1950s-style marriage, and I dislike the power imbalance, so I'm grateful for the glass ceiling breakers.

So much this. I am much happier being married to my equal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You mean white women of a certain class during a certain time period in the US, right? Because the model you're talking about was never common.

And no, I don't think they would have fought to be able to open their own bank accounts, get their own loans, etc. and not fought to also be able to get jobs. Maybe they would have fought harder for a social safety net that didn't require many moms to stay away from their kids in order to be financially secure.

Seriously. What a myopic view of the OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God no!

I’m thankful for the 40 hour week that was fought for as well.

I could not imagine having someone I love with all my heart working more than that, never seeing their own kids, and giving up 1/2 their hard earned money to a cheating wife

Now that we’re getting closer to bring equal at work..

I’m also super thankful men are getting Paternity leave, getting family flexible schedules and gave more opportunities to be equal parents.

Plus I did not miss one thing in my children’s lives.

Also I could not imagine being so selfish as to not fight for women who don’t want to marry /have kids not having those opportunities.

Also … yes I’m very happy! I provide the happiness… it was never “ promised “ its comes from within.

How is that possible if you were at work and they were with somebody else?

Same way it’s possible for a SAHM not to miss anything even though they go to the bathroom, shower, do laundry, go for a run, go to the gym, take a nap, go to church, visit their parents, go grocery shopping, send their kids to school.

There is not one thing that I missed. I was home with them 4 days a week, worked 6-2:30 3 days a week when they were little, and a few hours after bedtime, they slept a lot or were in preschool. My H did morning routine. Help from 10-4, kids napped 2x a day or were in a preschool.

I guess I “missed” 8-10, 12-1, 3-4 4x a week lol!

[b]Soooo, you worked nowhere near full time. I am a working mom who is pretty happy with my life but I struggled mightily when my kids were smaller about the idea that I was missing a lot of waking hours I could have had with them. I definitely had on rose-colored glasses about what being a SAHM of two little kids would have been like, but it was technically true!

Check your math

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother was a SAHM who never worked (beyond volunteering) her whole life. She had a very good financial situation because of my father's career. My dad was a good person and they were married for 60+ years. Nevertheless, at mid-life she felt unfulfilled and had periods of deep unhappiness. This arrangement doesn't mean that life is perfect because of it. It's one way to live but I don't think it should be idealized as a much better way to live. Read The Feminine Mystique about "the problem with no name" for the post-war, educated, upper middle-class woman.

As another poster pointed out, lots of women worked. My husband's grandmother worked in a factory pre- and post-WWII. His mother always worked.

She had a very good financial situation because of my father's GENEROSITY. Fixed it for you. How would it have gone for her if he'd left?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate such stupid questions.

Not all women are mothers. Not all mothers want to stay home. Those mothers that do want to stay home, still can.

+1

Now you have the choice - which was the power we gained. No, I don’t think we should give that up.

It’s a choice in theory, for women who marry high earning men that support them staying home. That’s a very small portion of men, and most women have to work whether they want to or not.

+1 most women have to work and raise kids. It sucks.

No one works and raises kids, someone else does. It can be family or hired help but its always someone who is physically doing it.

Do you people ever get tired of yourselves? No wonder your husbands work 80 hours a week and travel all the time.

[Anonymous]

It turns out to be a disaster when he is controlling or he leaves you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work full time, make >$500k, and see my children grow up and do tons of things together.

It’s how I manage my time and the systems we have set up.

Meh would rather have a husband who does that so I can relax at home

So you want a sperm donor, basically. Cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My career field disappeared with the Great Recession and we had very young kids. I became a SAHM. It's worked well for our family. The kids are thriving, my spouse makes good money and is glad I'm at home to handle the home front. When our kids were sick at school, and needed to be picked up, I could be there in 15 minutes. I once apologized for taking 20 minutes and the school nurse said don't worry, you're doing just fine. She had sick kids who sat there all day until the bell rang, and then went to after care...

I always remember that moment. My kids had it pretty good. I have no regrets looking back. Life has been good. Nobody can have everything, all the time, all at once. We all make choices, and have to live with them.

In our house, either my husband or I would be there in 10 minutes to pick up our kids.