Mean girls mean moms

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mean is subjective. What exactly are the girls and moms doing you find to be so mean, OP?

- Excluding other girls
- Making fun of other girls or boys (verbally or in notes/pictures that are passed around the classroom)
- Telling kids not to play with or be friends with certain girls or boys.

It feels weird to be an adult referring to a 9 year old as a “mean girl.” I don’t think they are bad kids. They are just navigating the culture of the classroom in a way that works best for them.
I don’t think the moms are bad people either. They don’t deliberately set out to hurt people. They just see the world in terms of these social hierarchies and are trying to come out on top.

I’m a high school teacher and to some degree all of these behaviors are typical and age appropriate all through k-12. (Excluding extremes such as bullying but that’s not what you’re describing.)

They may be typical at a certain age, but using the word "appropriate" when it comes to them and saying they are not bullying is BS!!!!

Excluding, making fun of, or telling other kids not to play with a specific person is, in fact, classic bullying.

I would hate to know what you think qualifies as bullying.

Some teacher you must be. The ultimate useless bystander.

Please know the difference between “appropriate” and “age appropriate.”

Pls know the appropriate adult response to a kid bullying another kid is to first protect the kid being bullied.

My post clearly said this does NOT apply to actual bullying, which of course parents and teachers will immediately address. But not everything that parents call “mean girl” behavior is bullying (not even close) and most of it is age appropriate and just normal kid behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My unpopular opinion is most of these girls aren’t actually “mean.” “Mean girl” is what they get called by the moms who are intimidated by and hate their moms and transfer it to the daughters.

Agree. I always roll my eyes when I see these posts. The “mean girls” are just girls that aren’t interested in OP’s daughter. Nothing mean is actually happening. Same with the moms. Is another mom really being “mean” to you at school drop off? C’mon. So dumb.

And there are always posts like yours to roll my eyes at. You just cannot believe there are girls who don’t want to be friends with the mean girls. They just want the mean girls to go away.

Then those kids should stop engaging. Your kid isn’t trying to negotiate peace in the Middle East. Your kid is in the mix as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't give them an opportunity to be mean to you. Ignore them!

x100000

Come on. Don't be ridiculous. When your kids wants to join in a game at recess and the other girls say "NO!" and run away from you how do you ignore that? Is your solution that the kid who just wants to play should know their place and never even ask? Just sit there on a bench alone? No.

This reads like you really want your kid to be in the “in crowd” and are fighting reality. 2nd-3rd grade is old enough for kids to flock towards people they enjoy spending time with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't give them an opportunity to be mean to you. Ignore them!

x100000

Come on. Don't be ridiculous. When your kids wants to join in a game at recess and the other girls say "NO!" and run away from you how do you ignore that? Is your solution that the kid who just wants to play should know their place and never even ask? Just sit there on a bench alone? No.

This reads like you really want your kid to be in the “in crowd” and are fighting reality. 2nd-3rd grade is old enough for kids to flock towards people they enjoy spending time with.

Can we agree to ignore this PP? Saying it’s ok for 7 and 8 year olds to be left out at school because others want to only play with kids they “flock towards” is insane.

Kids don’t have any choice over whether or not they are at school! A certain level of kindness and inclusion in a compulsory education environment should be required and expected by parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't give them an opportunity to be mean to you. Ignore them!

x100000

Come on. Don't be ridiculous. When your kids wants to join in a game at recess and the other girls say "NO!" and run away from you how do you ignore that? Is your solution that the kid who just wants to play should know their place and never even ask? Just sit there on a bench alone? No.

This reads like you really want your kid to be in the “in crowd” and are fighting reality. 2nd-3rd grade is old enough for kids to flock towards people they enjoy spending time with.

Can we agree to ignore this PP? Saying it’s ok for 7 and 8 year olds to be left out at school because others want to only play with kids they “flock towards” is insane.

Kids don’t have any choice over whether or not they are at school! A certain level of kindness and inclusion in a compulsory education environment should be required and expected by parents.

There is a playground/lunchroom/classroom full of kids for them to play with and socialize with. One kid or a small group of kids not wanted to include them doesn’t make them mean. Your child should know to move along. Those aren’t their people. Go find the ones that want to play with them instead of constantly chasing after the ones that don’t. There is a lid for very pot- they need to find theirs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't give them an opportunity to be mean to you. Ignore them!

x100000

Come on. Don't be ridiculous. When your kids wants to join in a game at recess and the other girls say "NO!" and run away from you how do you ignore that? Is your solution that the kid who just wants to play should know their place and never even ask? Just sit there on a bench alone? No.

This reads like you really want your kid to be in the “in crowd” and are fighting reality. 2nd-3rd grade is old enough for kids to flock towards people they enjoy spending time with.

Can we agree to ignore this PP? Saying it’s ok for 7 and 8 year olds to be left out at school because others want to only play with kids they “flock towards” is insane.

Kids don’t have any choice over whether or not they are at school! A certain level of kindness and inclusion in a compulsory education environment should be required and expected by parents.

Girl, you are literally telling other posters to ignore me because you don’t like my messaging. You may need to go back to elementary school and get your head on straight. Practice what you preach! don’t hate the player, hate the game!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't give them an opportunity to be mean to you. Ignore them!

x100000

Come on. Don't be ridiculous. When your kids wants to join in a game at recess and the other girls say "NO!" and run away from you how do you ignore that? Is your solution that the kid who just wants to play should know their place and never even ask? Just sit there on a bench alone? No.

This reads like you really want your kid to be in the “in crowd” and are fighting reality. 2nd-3rd grade is old enough for kids to flock towards people they enjoy spending time with.

Can we agree to ignore this PP? Saying it’s ok for 7 and 8 year olds to be left out at school because others want to only play with kids they “flock towards” is insane.

Kids don’t have any choice over whether or not they are at school! A certain level of kindness and inclusion in a compulsory education environment should be required and expected by parents.

Good call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't give them an opportunity to be mean to you. Ignore them!

x100000

Come on. Don't be ridiculous. When your kids wants to join in a game at recess and the other girls say "NO!" and run away from you how do you ignore that? Is your solution that the kid who just wants to play should know their place and never even ask? Just sit there on a bench alone? No.

This reads like you really want your kid to be in the “in crowd” and are fighting reality. 2nd-3rd grade is old enough for kids to flock towards people they enjoy spending time with.

Can we agree to ignore this PP? Saying it’s ok for 7 and 8 year olds to be left out at school because others want to only play with kids they “flock towards” is insane.

Kids don’t have any choice over whether or not they are at school! A certain level of kindness and inclusion in a compulsory education environment should be required and expected by parents.

Girl, you are literally telling other posters to ignore me because you don’t like my messaging. You may need to go back to elementary school and get your head on straight. Practice what you preach! don’t hate the player, hate the game!

lmaooo she really is doing the exact same thing lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't give them an opportunity to be mean to you. Ignore them!

x100000

Come on. Don't be ridiculous. When your kids wants to join in a game at recess and the other girls say "NO!" and run away from you how do you ignore that? Is your solution that the kid who just wants to play should know their place and never even ask? Just sit there on a bench alone? No.

This reads like you really want your kid to be in the “in crowd” and are fighting reality. 2nd-3rd grade is old enough for kids to flock towards people they enjoy spending time with.

Can we agree to ignore this PP? Saying it’s ok for 7 and 8 year olds to be left out at school because others want to only play with kids they “flock towards” is insane.

Kids don’t have any choice over whether or not they are at school! A certain level of kindness and inclusion in a compulsory education environment should be required and expected by parents.

Girl, you are literally telling other posters to ignore me because you don’t like my messaging. You may need to go back to elementary school and get your head on straight. Practice what you preach! don’t hate the player, hate the game!

lmaooo she really is doing the exact same thing lol

Haha. Ironic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't give them an opportunity to be mean to you. Ignore them!

x100000

Come on. Don't be ridiculous. When your kids wants to join in a game at recess and the other girls say "NO!" and run away from you how do you ignore that? Is your solution that the kid who just wants to play should know their place and never even ask? Just sit there on a bench alone? No.

This reads like you really want your kid to be in the “in crowd” and are fighting reality. 2nd-3rd grade is old enough for kids to flock towards people they enjoy spending time with.

Can we agree to ignore this PP? Saying it’s ok for 7 and 8 year olds to be left out at school because others want to only play with kids they “flock towards” is insane.

Kids don’t have any choice over whether or not they are at school! A certain level of kindness and inclusion in a compulsory education environment should be required and expected by parents.

Flip the script… Your kid comes home and tells you someone is chasing her around the playground and kicking and screaming to be included. You would tell your child to ignore them.

It depends.
If they have mutual friends and are all playing tag together or whatever, I would tell my daughter to deal with whatever she didn’t like or find other people to play with.

I wouldn’t tell her to tell the other kids not to play with the girl she finds annoying and to taunt her together.

[Anonymous]

All I ever learn from DCUM posts like this is that certain people should not mix. Thank goodness for my friends. Our wanting to be together has nothing to do with social hierarchy. It has everything to do with wanting to spend time with people who understand us. It excludes everyone who wants to burn us at the stake for this wish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't give them an opportunity to be mean to you. Ignore them!

x100000

Come on. Don't be ridiculous. When your kids wants to join in a game at recess and the other girls say "NO!" and run away from you how do you ignore that? Is your solution that the kid who just wants to play should know their place and never even ask? Just sit there on a bench alone? No.

This reads like you really want your kid to be in the “in crowd” and are fighting reality. 2nd-3rd grade is old enough for kids to flock towards people they enjoy spending time with.

Can we agree to ignore this PP? Saying it’s ok for 7 and 8 year olds to be left out at school because others want to only play with kids they “flock towards” is insane.

Kids don’t have any choice over whether or not they are at school! A certain level of kindness and inclusion in a compulsory education environment should be required and expected by parents.

Flip the script… Your kid comes home and tells you someone is chasing her around the playground and kicking and screaming to be included. You would tell your child to ignore them.

It depends.
If they have mutual friends and are all playing tag together or whatever, I would tell my daughter to deal with whatever she didn’t like or find other people to play with.

I wouldn’t tell her to tell the other kids not to play with the girl she finds annoying and to taunt her together.

What advice are you giving your daughter? Stop moving the goal posts. I’m not asking what advice you’re giving your daughter for her to turn around and give to other kids.
I’m telling my kid she doesn’t need to engage with someone hanging off of her and begging her to be besties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't give them an opportunity to be mean to you. Ignore them!

x100000

Come on. Don't be ridiculous. When your kids wants to join in a game at recess and the other girls say "NO!" and run away from you how do you ignore that? Is your solution that the kid who just wants to play should know their place and never even ask? Just sit there on a bench alone? No.

This reads like you really want your kid to be in the “in crowd” and are fighting reality. 2nd-3rd grade is old enough for kids to flock towards people they enjoy spending time with.

Can we agree to ignore this PP? Saying it’s ok for 7 and 8 year olds to be left out at school because others want to only play with kids they “flock towards” is insane.

Kids don’t have any choice over whether or not they are at school! A certain level of kindness and inclusion in a compulsory education environment should be required and expected by parents.

Girl, you are literally telling other posters to ignore me because you don’t like my messaging. You may need to go back to elementary school and get your head on straight. Practice what you preach! don’t hate the player, hate the game!

She is telling people to ignore a bully.
If you want to engage in this behavior and teach your kids to write mean notes or make fun of kids for having special needs, then go for it.

No one has to listen to you tell us why it’s okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't give them an opportunity to be mean to you. Ignore them!

x100000

Come on. Don't be ridiculous. When your kids wants to join in a game at recess and the other girls say "NO!" and run away from you how do you ignore that? Is your solution that the kid who just wants to play should know their place and never even ask? Just sit there on a bench alone? No.

This reads like you really want your kid to be in the “in crowd” and are fighting reality. 2nd-3rd grade is old enough for kids to flock towards people they enjoy spending time with.

Can we agree to ignore this PP? Saying it’s ok for 7 and 8 year olds to be left out at school because others want to only play with kids they “flock towards” is insane.

Kids don’t have any choice over whether or not they are at school! A certain level of kindness and inclusion in a compulsory education environment should be required and expected by parents.

Girl, you are literally telling other posters to ignore me because you don’t like my messaging. You may need to go back to elementary school and get your head on straight. Practice what you preach! don’t hate the player, hate the game!

She is telling people to ignore a bully.
If you want to engage in this behavior and teach your kids to write mean notes or make fun of kids for having special needs, then go for it.

No one has to listen to you tell us why it’s okay.

You’re projecting. No one is saying that behavior is okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My unpopular opinion is most of these girls aren’t actually “mean.” “Mean girl” is what they get called by the moms who are intimidated by and hate their moms and transfer it to the daughters.

Agree. I always roll my eyes when I see these posts. The “mean girls” are just girls that aren’t interested in OP’s daughter. Nothing mean is actually happening. Same with the moms. Is another mom really being “mean” to you at school drop off? C’mon. So dumb.

And there are always posts like yours to roll my eyes at. You just cannot believe there are girls who don’t want to be friends with the mean girls. They just want the mean girls to go away.

Then those kids should stop engaging. Your kid isn’t trying to negotiate peace in the Middle East. Your kid is in the mix as well.

Those kids are not engaging. They are minding their own business when some mean girl and her friends sit down at lunch and start talking smack about her right in front of her as if she isn’t there. Not my child, BTW, so I can be objective in this situation. There are mean kids who seek out others just to be mean. You really don’t get this, do you?