Mean girls mean moms

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't give them an opportunity to be mean to you. Ignore them!

x100000

Come on. Don't be ridiculous. When your kids wants to join in a game at recess and the other girls say "NO!" and run away from you how do you ignore that? Is your solution that the kid who just wants to play should know their place and never even ask? Just sit there on a bench alone? No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the moms crapping all over the kids for developmentally appropriate behavior any better? If their kids were the queen bee, they’d be fine with it.

Would you be fine with your daughter being mean to other people?

No, I wouldn’t be okay with that. Stupid question. I just don’t think the adults on this board bashing kids for going through a normal phase are any better.

But you think the moms of the kids who are currently the targets of the mean behavior would be ok with their daughters being mean queen bees? Why do you think that? They are not the ones raising mean kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My unpopular opinion is most of these girls aren’t actually “mean.” “Mean girl” is what they get called by the moms who are intimidated by and hate their moms and transfer it to the daughters.

Agree. I always roll my eyes when I see these posts. The “mean girls” are just girls that aren’t interested in OP’s daughter. Nothing mean is actually happening. Same with the moms. Is another mom really being “mean” to you at school drop off? C’mon. So dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the mean girls in my daughter’s class has a very nice mom. I don’t know how her daughter got to be so nasty. Her mom is either doesn’t notice or is “too nice” to know how to handle her own kid.

That's how she got to be a "mean" girl. Permissive parenting produces big egos.

I've very much seen this play out. It's baffling at first when the moms are so kind and gentle, but it does make sense. Sometimes kids need to be called out on bad behavior when they are at that testing boundaries age, and if there is no one to call them out on certain behaviors, their egos just become sort of abnormal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My unpopular opinion is most of these girls aren’t actually “mean.” “Mean girl” is what they get called by the moms who are intimidated by and hate their moms and transfer it to the daughters.

Agree. I always roll my eyes when I see these posts. The “mean girls” are just girls that aren’t interested in OP’s daughter. Nothing mean is actually happening. Same with the moms. Is another mom really being “mean” to you at school drop off? C’mon. So dumb.

And there are always posts like yours to roll my eyes at. You just cannot believe there are girls who don’t want to be friends with the mean girls. They just want the mean girls to go away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My unpopular opinion is most of these girls aren’t actually “mean.” “Mean girl” is what they get called by the moms who are intimidated by and hate their moms and transfer it to the daughters.

Agree. I always roll my eyes when I see these posts. The “mean girls” are just girls that aren’t interested in OP’s daughter. Nothing mean is actually happening. Same with the moms. Is another mom really being “mean” to you at school drop off? C’mon. So dumb.

And there are always posts like yours to roll my eyes at. You just cannot believe there are girls who don’t want to be friends with the mean girls. They just want the mean girls to go away.

Oh..so their kid is harassing yours out of no where? And their mom is also singling you out and harassing you? Right

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My unpopular opinion is most of these girls aren’t actually “mean.” “Mean girl” is what they get called by the moms who are intimidated by and hate their moms and transfer it to the daughters.

Agree. I always roll my eyes when I see these posts. The “mean girls” are just girls that aren’t interested in OP’s daughter. Nothing mean is actually happening. Same with the moms. Is another mom really being “mean” to you at school drop off? C’mon. So dumb.

And there are always posts like yours to roll my eyes at. You just cannot believe there are girls who don’t want to be friends with the mean girls. They just want the mean girls to go away.

Oh..so their kid is harassing yours out of no where? And their mom is also singling you out and harassing you? Right

Kids absolutely do harass other kids "out of nowhere." It happens all the time. My DD had a kid who used to just follow her around on the playground and, if she tried to play or speak, would scream at her. He wasn't even in her class or grade, she didn't even know his name. He just latched onto her and started harassing her.

Now, do I think that's some horrible kid who should be written off? No, I think he needs some help and interventions, that he's probably seeking out connection and friendship and just doesn't have the skills to do it, and for some reason my DD caught his eye. But this sort of thing is not uncommon and it needs to be addressed. Telling my DD "just ignore him" or to have empathy because he obviously has issues? It doesn't resolve the situation. And I've seen it with mean girl behavior, too, especially with group behaviors where a group of girls will start teasing or harassing a lone other kid. Yes it comes out of nowhere. Yes it needs to be addressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mean is subjective. What exactly are the girls and moms doing you find to be so mean, OP?

- Excluding other girls
- Making fun of other girls or boys (verbally or in notes/pictures that are passed around the classroom)
- Telling kids not to play with or be friends with certain girls or boys.

It feels weird to be an adult referring to a 9 year old as a “mean girl.” I don’t think they are bad kids. They are just navigating the culture of the classroom in a way that works best for them.
I don’t think the moms are bad people either. They don’t deliberately set out to hurt people. They just see the world in terms of these social hierarchies and are trying to come out on top.

I’m a high school teacher and to some degree all of these behaviors are typical and age appropriate all through k-12. (Excluding extremes such as bullying but that’s not what you’re describing.)

They may be typical at a certain age, but using the word "appropriate" when it comes to them and saying they are not bullying is BS!!!!

Excluding, making fun of, or telling other kids not to play with a specific person is, in fact, classic bullying.

I would hate to know what you think qualifies as bullying.

Some teacher you must be. The ultimate useless bystander.

Please know the difference between “appropriate” and “age appropriate.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mean is subjective. What exactly are the girls and moms doing you find to be so mean, OP?

- Excluding other girls
- Making fun of other girls or boys (verbally or in notes/pictures that are passed around the classroom)
- Telling kids not to play with or be friends with certain girls or boys.

It feels weird to be an adult referring to a 9 year old as a “mean girl.” I don’t think they are bad kids. They are just navigating the culture of the classroom in a way that works best for them.
I don’t think the moms are bad people either. They don’t deliberately set out to hurt people. They just see the world in terms of these social hierarchies and are trying to come out on top.

I’m a high school teacher and to some degree all of these behaviors are typical and age appropriate all through k-12. (Excluding extremes such as bullying but that’s not what you’re describing.)

They may be typical at a certain age, but using the word "appropriate" when it comes to them and saying they are not bullying is BS!!!!

Excluding, making fun of, or telling other kids not to play with a specific person is, in fact, classic bullying.

I would hate to know what you think qualifies as bullying.

Some teacher you must be. The ultimate useless bystander.

Please know the difference between “appropriate” and “age appropriate.”

Pls know the appropriate adult response to a kid bullying another kid is to first protect the kid being bullied.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mean is subjective. What exactly are the girls and moms doing you find to be so mean, OP?

- Excluding other girls
- Making fun of other girls or boys (verbally or in notes/pictures that are passed around the classroom)
- Telling kids not to play with or be friends with certain girls or boys.

It feels weird to be an adult referring to a 9 year old as a “mean girl.” I don’t think they are bad kids. They are just navigating the culture of the classroom in a way that works best for them.
I don’t think the moms are bad people either. They don’t deliberately set out to hurt people. They just see the world in terms of these social hierarchies and are trying to come out on top.

Find me the kids and adults including everyone, never making fun of anyone, playing with everyone, and I’ll find you people who are only being nice on the surface (called out as mean by someone earlier on this thread) or a doormat who doesn’t walk away when hurt by someone else being mean.

Find me the kid telling everyone to play with everyone, and I’ll show you a girl who’s unable to empathize with very normal kids, dismissing of their feelings, and/or being judgmental.

Straw man

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My unpopular opinion is most of these girls aren’t actually “mean.” “Mean girl” is what they get called by the moms who are intimidated by and hate their moms and transfer it to the daughters.

Agree. I always roll my eyes when I see these posts. The “mean girls” are just girls that aren’t interested in OP’s daughter. Nothing mean is actually happening. Same with the moms. Is another mom really being “mean” to you at school drop off? C’mon. So dumb.

And there are always posts like yours to roll my eyes at. You just cannot believe there are girls who don’t want to be friends with the mean girls. They just want the mean girls to go away.

Oh..so their kid is harassing yours out of no where? And their mom is also singling you out and harassing you? Right

I don’t see the mom’s singling anyone out and harassing them. It’s more like they manage to make everything feel kind of exclusive.
I have five kids, and we have moved to different schools. These moms aren’t everywhere, but when they are there, you know. Somehow they manage to let you know that you are very special for being allowed to bring snacks to the third grade Valentine’s Day party, but you aren’t allowed to ask Brooklyn’s mom to help you because they don’t really want her there.

It’s kind of messed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My unpopular opinion is most of these girls aren’t actually “mean.” “Mean girl” is what they get called by the moms who are intimidated by and hate their moms and transfer it to the daughters.

Agree. I always roll my eyes when I see these posts. The “mean girls” are just girls that aren’t interested in OP’s daughter. Nothing mean is actually happening. Same with the moms. Is another mom really being “mean” to you at school drop off? C’mon. So dumb.

Look. Not wanting to be friends with someone is fine.
Telling other kids not to play with someone, taunting them at recess, or writing them nasty notes is mean.

Please stop teaching your children that it’s okay to do this to other girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My unpopular opinion is most of these girls aren’t actually “mean.” “Mean girl” is what they get called by the moms who are intimidated by and hate their moms and transfer it to the daughters.

Agree. I always roll my eyes when I see these posts. The “mean girls” are just girls that aren’t interested in OP’s daughter. Nothing mean is actually happening. Same with the moms. Is another mom really being “mean” to you at school drop off? C’mon. So dumb.

And there are always posts like yours to roll my eyes at. You just cannot believe there are girls who don’t want to be friends with the mean girls. They just want the mean girls to go away.

Oh..so their kid is harassing yours out of no where? And their mom is also singling you out and harassing you? Right

Kids absolutely do harass other kids "out of nowhere." It happens all the time. My DD had a kid who used to just follow her around on the playground and, if she tried to play or speak, would scream at her. He wasn't even in her class or grade, she didn't even know his name. He just latched onto her and started harassing her.

Now, do I think that's some horrible kid who should be written off? No, I think he needs some help and interventions, that he's probably seeking out connection and friendship and just doesn't have the skills to do it, and for some reason my DD caught his eye. But this sort of thing is not uncommon and it needs to be addressed. Telling my DD "just ignore him" or to have empathy because he obviously has issues? It doesn't resolve the situation. And I've seen it with mean girl behavior, too, especially with group behaviors where a group of girls will start teasing or harassing a lone other kid. Yes it comes out of nowhere. Yes it needs to be addressed.

Ok, but this is not what OP is talking about when she refers to “mean girls” and you know that. What you are describing is a disturbed kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My unpopular opinion is most of these girls aren’t actually “mean.” “Mean girl” is what they get called by the moms who are intimidated by and hate their moms and transfer it to the daughters.

Agree. I always roll my eyes when I see these posts. The “mean girls” are just girls that aren’t interested in OP’s daughter. Nothing mean is actually happening. Same with the moms. Is another mom really being “mean” to you at school drop off? C’mon. So dumb.

And there are always posts like yours to roll my eyes at. You just cannot believe there are girls who don’t want to be friends with the mean girls. They just want the mean girls to go away.

Oh..so their kid is harassing yours out of no where? And their mom is also singling you out and harassing you? Right

I don’t see the mom’s singling anyone out and harassing them. It’s more like they manage to make everything feel kind of exclusive.
I have five kids, and we have moved to different schools. These moms aren’t everywhere, but when they are there, you know. Somehow they manage to let you know that you are very special for being allowed to bring snacks to the third grade Valentine’s Day party, but you aren’t allowed to ask Brooklyn’s mom to help you because they don’t really want her there.

It’s kind of messed up.

I have no idea what you are talking about

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My unpopular opinion is most of these girls aren’t actually “mean.” “Mean girl” is what they get called by the moms who are intimidated by and hate their moms and transfer it to the daughters.

Agree. I always roll my eyes when I see these posts. The “mean girls” are just girls that aren’t interested in OP’s daughter. Nothing mean is actually happening. Same with the moms. Is another mom really being “mean” to you at school drop off? C’mon. So dumb.

And there are always posts like yours to roll my eyes at. You just cannot believe there are girls who don’t want to be friends with the mean girls. They just want the mean girls to go away.

Oh..so their kid is harassing yours out of no where? And their mom is also singling you out and harassing you? Right

I don’t see the mom’s singling anyone out and harassing them. It’s more like they manage to make everything feel kind of exclusive.
I have five kids, and we have moved to different schools. These moms aren’t everywhere, but when they are there, you know. Somehow they manage to let you know that you are very special for being allowed to bring snacks to the third grade Valentine’s Day party, but you aren’t allowed to ask Brooklyn’s mom to help you because they don’t really want her there.

It’s kind of messed up.

I have no idea what you are talking about

A lot of elementary schools have little classroom parties for holidays. Usually the parents come up with little games and treats.