why is mrs still a thing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought the whole point was that people could be called or addressed as they liked. Now they need to justify it to you?

You are giving the same vibes as the feminists who are all about "choice" but hate nonstop on SAHMs.

I’m a SAHM and I hate the whole Mrs. Thing. I especially hate when women go by their husband’s first name after, too…”Mrs. John Smith.”

Congrats? I guess don't go my Mrs if you don't like it? Nobody should give you grief for your choice to be a SAHM and you shouldn't GAF what others choose to go by.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There will be many women growing old alone. They'll be living in cardboard boxes, but at least they'll be a Ms.

Don't threaten me with a good time.

Lolz thanks for this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There will be many women growing old alone. They'll be living in cardboard boxes, but at least they'll be a Ms.

Don't threaten me with a good time.

I love you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it, but then I’m an ardent feminist whose entire life has been focused around the consequences of male violence - first in a family of origin ‘led’ by a raging violent alcoholic bully and later in various adult roles as DV advocate, legal aid attorney , public defender and prosecutor working in the trenches with lives mired in the consequences of male violence.

I’ve been wanting to change my surname for many years now. I haven’t and won’t get married, and I don’t want to die with the name of the man who first abused me and my mother and siblings.

Any ideas for how an adult woman should choose a new surname? I’ve considered choosing a surname from family history, but I recognize that there is a high probability by that method I will choose the name of somebody’s else’s abuser.

Any ideas, let me know!

Your mom’s maiden name would work, no?

No, that name belongs to the man who abused my grandmother into fleeing her home and family and laid the ground work for my mother’s acceptance of my father’s abuse.

I briefly considered my grandmother’s maiden name, but while I never knew my great grandfather I can assume that he was quite possibly also a misogynist whose treatment of my great grandmother and grandmother led to my grandmother’s acceptant of her husband’s abuse for two decades. See it’s an endless cycle.

I appreciate the idea of honoring someone I’ve admired by choosing her name. But going that route could end me up with the name of another abuser - many of the women I’ve admired in my life were driven to their accomplishments as a reaction to toxic patriarchy at the micro or macro level.

It’s a conundrum for sure.

So my thought is you have completely re-branded the name of your abuser with your courage and success.
Its now been changed to a name with honor.
And like Jackie Chan said to the victorious kid at the end of Karate Kid movie sequel - "You Won".
Have you considered this?

I'm the guy who suggested choosing a name honoring someone you admire.

This is a very nice sentiment, and it is nice to hear from a good guy.

I still hate my father’s name because it’s difficult to pronounce and a name you can make a joke of, so I was bullied over it for years in school which is another reason it’s been my desire to offload it for decades. Getting stuck with a crap name from a crap dude is just unfair lol. I had really hoped to meet a good guy and take his name, but oh well.

I’ll figure something out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There will be many women growing old alone. They'll be living in cardboard boxes, but at least they'll be a Ms.

I’ve been a Ms. in my house my whole married life. At what point does my house transform into a cardboard box? I’m dying to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mrs. Is way more informative.

My wife at school Mrs. Means she is married not a single or divorced mom.

Mrs. means my last name is not her maiden name. I am a different nationality than wife.

Mrs. means at a company party she is my wife. I also get invited places with my daughters so on invite they are Ms. or Miss. and wife Mrs.helps it be less confusing.

Hate to disappoint you, but this is not true. If I meet her for the first time, the only thing Mrs is telling me is that she got married at some point and changed her ladt name to her husband's name. If she then divorced and didn't change back to her maiden name, she isstill Mrs.

[Anonymous]

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought the whole point was that people could be called or addressed as they liked. Now they need to justify it to you?

You are giving the same vibes as the feminists who are all about "choice" but hate nonstop on SAHMs.

I’m a SAHM and I hate the whole Mrs. Thing. I especially hate when women go by their husband’s first name after, too…”Mrs. John Smith.”

That's for those who like to point out that it's their MIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ive not really thought about this. Men are always Mr, married, single divorced. Seems like women should be referred to by a similarly relationship neutral term.

The only time I ever have to select one is when booking flights. I think I just put Ms. I didnt change my last name so I'm never sure what Im supposed to put.

Only now because the language evolved. A couple of hundred years ago, Mister meant married head of household. Master was the term used for unmarried or dependent men. The language evolved to use Mister for all men regardless of marital status or dependency. Just like the language has evolved to use Ms. (Miz) for all women regardless of marital status.

But all said, freedom of expression means that each individual gets to decide which term/practice they wish to use.

A couple hundred years ago, in fact, well into the 19th century, master meant head of household while the female equivalent was mistress. And a household meant an establishment, including servants and workers like apprentices. Poor people or simpler households were never considered as having master or mistress, which is why poorer people were never addressed as Mr. or Mrs. but as John X or Jane Doe till the early 19th century (one of the radical changes following the American revolution was the widespread adoption of addressing all adults as Mr. or Mrs. or Miss, when previously it was reserved for the well off established people broadly recognized as gentlefolk. And well into the 20th century master and mistress were still commonly used in reference to the employers of domestic help in both England and America, even if no one outside the help or service people used those terms. I'm sure we've seen those comics of salesmen knocking at the door and asking to see the master or mistress followed with some comic joke. That's why master persisted for a long time to refer to head of household (and the master bedrooms we now have).

Master was never used to solely refer to unmarried or dependent men because they generally were not head of households. But as you pointed out, language does evolve and we did have master being used for young boys living at home, but this really emerged out of the sons of the prosperous householder, the servants would refer to the boys as "young Master Tom/William/Henry".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mrs. is still a thing for the same reason why the patriarchy and misogyny are still things. A lot of women prefer to be men’s property.
Women outnumber men and plenty of men are feminists. If even 75% of women wanted equal rights, we’d have them.

Yes! Mrs. is the possessive form, as in “belongs to”, of Mr. So yes, while by all means anyone can be referred to as they would like, why any woman would choose to be referred to as the possession of their spouse is beyond me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it, but then I’m an ardent feminist whose entire life has been focused around the consequences of male violence - first in a family of origin ‘led’ by a raging violent alcoholic bully and later in various adult roles as DV advocate, legal aid attorney , public defender and prosecutor working in the trenches with lives mired in the consequences of male violence.

I’ve been wanting to change my surname for many years now. I haven’t and won’t get married, and I don’t want to die with the name of the man who first abused me and my mother and siblings.

Any ideas for how an adult woman should choose a new surname? I’ve considered choosing a surname from family history, but I recognize that there is a high probability by that method I will choose the name of somebody’s else’s abuser.

Any ideas, let me know!

Your mom’s maiden name would work, no?

No, that name belongs to the man who abused my grandmother into fleeing her home and family and laid the ground work for my mother’s acceptance of my father’s abuse.

I briefly considered my grandmother’s maiden name, but while I never knew my great grandfather I can assume that he was quite possibly also a misogynist whose treatment of my great grandmother and grandmother led to my grandmother’s acceptant of her husband’s abuse for two decades. See it’s an endless cycle.

I appreciate the idea of honoring someone I’ve admired by choosing her name. But going that route could end me up with the name of another abuser - many of the women I’ve admired in my life were driven to their accomplishments as a reaction to toxic patriarchy at the micro or macro level.

It’s a conundrum for sure.

So my thought is you have completely re-branded the name of your abuser with your courage and success.
Its now been changed to a name with honor.
And like Jackie Chan said to the victorious kid at the end of Karate Kid movie sequel - "You Won".
Have you considered this?

I'm the guy who suggested choosing a name honoring someone you admire.

This is a very nice sentiment, and it is nice to hear from a good guy.

I still hate my father’s name because it’s difficult to pronounce and a name you can make a joke of, so I was bullied over it for years in school which is another reason it’s been my desire to offload it for decades. Getting stuck with a crap name from a crap dude is just unfair lol. I had really hoped to meet a good guy and take his name, but oh well.

I’ll figure something out.

Best wishes to you..
Hoping you have an " aha!" moment and find your perfect name.
Or you meet your good guy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mrs. Is way more informative.

My wife at school Mrs. Means she is married not a single or divorced mom.

Mrs. means my last name is not her maiden name. I am a different nationality than wife.

Mrs. means at a company party she is my wife. I also get invited places with my daughters so on invite they are Ms. or Miss. and wife Mrs.helps it be less confusing.

Hate to disappoint you, but this is not true. If I meet her for the first time, the only thing Mrs is telling me is that she got married at some point and changed her ladt name to her husband's name. If she then divorced and didn't change back to her maiden name, she isstill Mrs.

In the case of a divorced woman, "Mrs. Arthur Reynolds" is no longer an option. If she retains her former husband's last name (and many women do so that their surname will be the same as their children's) then Mrs. [or Ms.] Susan Reynolds is correct. If she reverts to her maiden name, Ms. is the correct title, as in "Ms. Susan Hughes."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it, but then I’m an ardent feminist whose entire life has been focused around the consequences of male violence - first in a family of origin ‘led’ by a raging violent alcoholic bully and later in various adult roles as DV advocate, legal aid attorney , public defender and prosecutor working in the trenches with lives mired in the consequences of male violence.

I’ve been wanting to change my surname for many years now. I haven’t and won’t get married, and I don’t want to die with the name of the man who first abused me and my mother and siblings.

Any ideas for how an adult woman should choose a new surname? I’ve considered choosing a surname from family history, but I recognize that there is a high probability by that method I will choose the name of somebody’s else’s abuser.

Any ideas, let me know!

Mother’s maiden name?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mrs. is still a thing for the same reason why the patriarchy and misogyny are still things. A lot of women prefer to be men’s property.
Women outnumber men and plenty of men are feminists. If even 75% of women wanted equal rights, we’d have them.

Yes! Mrs. is the possessive form, as in “belongs to”, of Mr. So yes, while by all means anyone can be referred to as they would like, why any woman would choose to be referred to as the possession of their spouse is beyond me.

Lucky for us you don’t need to understand.

[Anonymous]

Why don’t we just come up with a term for unmarried men like Bruh?