why is mrs still a thing

[Anonymous]

I have insisted on Ms. since I was 18. No one's business if I am married! I cannot stand Mrs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with OP. I really only see it at schools. Its fine if that's what people like to be called, but I consider it antiquated language.

I'd be ok with Mx. for all as well but we aren't there yet. I don't care about people knowing my gender in a business setting. I correct people to call me Ms. from Mrs. and never really liked Mrs. in social settings either.

I'm old and a nerd. "Mx" makes me think of the Superman villain Mr. Mxyzptlk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have insisted on Ms. since I was 18. No one's business if I am married! I cannot stand Mrs.

OK Mrs. Insufferable.

[Anonymous]

This is such a ridiculous thing to care about.

I'm GenX and have gone by Mrs. X since I got married. I also <<insert shock and horror>> took my DH's name. I'm glad that I did. I also have been a progressive since I started voting.

But I will say that some of the issues that are brought up on this board make me understand why conservatives are so done with us.

[Anonymous]

I prefer to be called Dr.

[Anonymous]

This is a non issue in almost any field except teaching (where you are called the name 298759038475 times a day).

I went by Mrs. in my first classroom because I had just gotten married and it was exciting! And then everything "mrs. X" on it because cutesy teacher decorations, so it stuck.

If it's any consolation, the kids call me a mix of Mrs./Ms./Miss and I don't care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it, but then I’m an ardent feminist whose entire life has been focused around the consequences of male violence - first in a family of origin ‘led’ by a raging violent alcoholic bully and later in various adult roles as DV advocate, legal aid attorney , public defender and prosecutor working in the trenches with lives mired in the consequences of male violence.

I’ve been wanting to change my surname for many years now. I haven’t and won’t get married, and I don’t want to die with the name of the man who first abused me and my mother and siblings.

Any ideas for how an adult woman should choose a new surname? I’ve considered choosing a surname from family history, but I recognize that there is a high probability by that method I will choose the name of somebody’s else’s abuser.

Any ideas, let me know!

Your mom’s maiden name would work, no?

No, that name belongs to the man who abused my grandmother into fleeing her home and family and laid the ground work for my mother’s acceptance of my father’s abuse.

I briefly considered my grandmother’s maiden name, but while I never knew my great grandfather I can assume that he was quite possibly also a misogynist whose treatment of my great grandmother and grandmother led to my grandmother’s acceptant of her husband’s abuse for two decades. See it’s an endless cycle.

I appreciate the idea of honoring someone I’ve admired by choosing her name. But going that route could end me up with the name of another abuser - many of the women I’ve admired in my life were driven to their accomplishments as a reaction to toxic patriarchy at the micro or macro level.

It’s a conundrum for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm noticing at both my kids schools several teachers (including ones in their 30s and 40s) go by mrs. x. I personally can't fathom why someone would pick that over Ms. Is it some pride in communicating you're married? Just a preference for tradition? It's just so strange to me when we have Ms. to cover all women like we have Mr. to cover all men.

So if YOU prefer to be called mrs x.....why?

You seem oddly triggered by other people’s preferred titles, OP.

Why is that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ms is bad because its pronunciation is bad.

"Missus" is a good pronunciation but "Mrs." already has that for spelling, as stupid that is. So, we are stuck.

Agree with this. The spoken Miz is unpleasant. I default to Ms. when sending emails to women I don’t know unless I’ve seen them use anything else somewhere (on teachers’ class websites, etc.)

I’m old enough that it’s slightly annoying to be called “miss” by service people instead of ma’am. But I don’t think any of this is taught anymore anyway.

[Anonymous]

Because some women like to take advantage of the privilege and power and better treatment they get when society knows they are married

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it, but then I’m an ardent feminist whose entire life has been focused around the consequences of male violence - first in a family of origin ‘led’ by a raging violent alcoholic bully and later in various adult roles as DV advocate, legal aid attorney , public defender and prosecutor working in the trenches with lives mired in the consequences of male violence.

I’ve been wanting to change my surname for many years now. I haven’t and won’t get married, and I don’t want to die with the name of the man who first abused me and my mother and siblings.

Any ideas for how an adult woman should choose a new surname? I’ve considered choosing a surname from family history, but I recognize that there is a high probability by that method I will choose the name of somebody’s else’s abuser.

Any ideas, let me know!

Your mom’s maiden name would work, no?

No, that name belongs to the man who abused my grandmother into fleeing her home and family and laid the ground work for my mother’s acceptance of my father’s abuse.

I briefly considered my grandmother’s maiden name, but while I never knew my great grandfather I can assume that he was quite possibly also a misogynist whose treatment of my great grandmother and grandmother led to my grandmother’s acceptant of her husband’s abuse for two decades. See it’s an endless cycle.

I appreciate the idea of honoring someone I’ve admired by choosing her name. But going that route could end me up with the name of another abuser - many of the women I’ve admired in my life were driven to their accomplishments as a reaction to toxic patriarchy at the micro or macro level.

It’s a conundrum for sure.

Gently, I think you’re overthinking this. But perhaps one of your cherished female relatives’ first names would work as a surname? Otherwise, just pick a random surname that you particularly like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it, but then I’m an ardent feminist whose entire life has been focused around the consequences of male violence - first in a family of origin ‘led’ by a raging violent alcoholic bully and later in various adult roles as DV advocate, legal aid attorney , public defender and prosecutor working in the trenches with lives mired in the consequences of male violence.

I’ve been wanting to change my surname for many years now. I haven’t and won’t get married, and I don’t want to die with the name of the man who first abused me and my mother and siblings.

Any ideas for how an adult woman should choose a new surname? I’ve considered choosing a surname from family history, but I recognize that there is a high probability by that method I will choose the name of somebody’s else’s abuser.

Any ideas, let me know!

Last name elizabeth after Elizabeth 1 the Virgin Queen.
Your mom’s maiden name would work, no?

No, that name belongs to the man who abused my grandmother into fleeing her home and family and laid the ground work for my mother’s acceptance of my father’s abuse.

I briefly considered my grandmother’s maiden name, but while I never knew my great grandfather I can assume that he was quite possibly also a misogynist whose treatment of my great grandmother and grandmother led to my grandmother’s acceptant of her husband’s abuse for two decades. See it’s an endless cycle.

I appreciate the idea of honoring someone I’ve admired by choosing her name. But going that route could end me up with the name of another abuser - many of the women I’ve admired in my life were driven to their accomplishments as a reaction to toxic patriarchy at the micro or macro level.

It’s a conundrum for sure.

[Anonymous]

^ Elizabeth from Elizabeth 1 the virgin Queen or Hippolyta queen of the Amazons. Also You are def overthinking this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it, but then I’m an ardent feminist whose entire life has been focused around the consequences of male violence - first in a family of origin ‘led’ by a raging violent alcoholic bully and later in various adult roles as DV advocate, legal aid attorney , public defender and prosecutor working in the trenches with lives mired in the consequences of male violence.

I’ve been wanting to change my surname for many years now. I haven’t and won’t get married, and I don’t want to die with the name of the man who first abused me and my mother and siblings.

Any ideas for how an adult woman should choose a new surname? I’ve considered choosing a surname from family history, but I recognize that there is a high probability by that method I will choose the name of somebody’s else’s abuser.

Any ideas, let me know!

Your mom’s maiden name would work, no?

No, that name belongs to the man who abused my grandmother into fleeing her home and family and laid the ground work for my mother’s acceptance of my father’s abuse.

I briefly considered my grandmother’s maiden name, but while I never knew my great grandfather I can assume that he was quite possibly also a misogynist whose treatment of my great grandmother and grandmother led to my grandmother’s acceptant of her husband’s abuse for two decades. See it’s an endless cycle.

I appreciate the idea of honoring someone I’ve admired by choosing her name. But going that route could end me up with the name of another abuser - many of the women I’ve admired in my life were driven to their accomplishments as a reaction to toxic patriarchy at the micro or macro level.

It’s a conundrum for sure.

It really isn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s wrong with Mrs? If a woman is married and took her husband’s surname, and it’s what she prefers to be called, isn’t that pretty standard?

I am not going to tell anyone what to do, but there is no male equivalent for Mr. So only women are identified by their courtesy title as married. It's inherently sexist. I go by Ms. and like a PP, have done so since I was a very young adult.