Any Ivy graduates here? Ivy League graduate son in a funk, humuliated, & remains jobless

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I posted a few months ago about my son's looming graduation. Now he is home and moping around. He finally opened up that feels like an idiot, he's overwhelmed and he's humiliated compared to all of his overachieving classmates. He's scared to ask his more connected friends (and their parents) for help because his resume is so vacant and they seem so perfect. He knows he can apply for random entry-level jobs any random college grad can apply for but he feels like he has wasted the opportunity if he settles for anything. He does not mean that in a snobby way–we are just a middle class family–but I also know how that could come across. It was a very expensive education and the opportunity of a lifetime. Any help in coaxing him out of this funk and where he should be looking is appreciated. Should he contact career services at his alma mater or would reaching out to his network of friends and their parents offer far more opportunities?

I want to stress his resume is basically vacant outside of the new BA and his GPA is pretty abysmal, so he thinks he's going to be mocked or his resume will just be ignored.

Not to be rude, but a huge part of the problem here seems to be that both you and he think there's something really special or different about getting a job out of an Ivy League school than any other school. Sure, there are differences, but get over it.

Yes, he should absolutely contact his career services office.

How many 22 year old Ivy League graduates are minted each year? It is pretty rarefied air and some employers do actually pay a hefty premium to employ them.

This kind of stupid attitude is how he ended up where he is.

No, pandemic-fueled depression and anxiety led to this.

God, this excuse is getting so, so damn tired. Pandemic card denied.

The fact is, your first job out of college is a direct result of the internships, volunteering, and extracurriculars you did throughout undergrad. So your son started letting himself fall behind long before the pandemic. At my Ivy, the drive for resume building was in the water and everybody but a small handful (all male, interestingly) was always thinking about the next, post-graduation step. The handful who ignored the resume game either ended up going into family-connected jobs or, I'm sorry to say, just failed to achieve liftoff. I guess they convinced themselves a great job at graduation was their birthright, but that was willful ignorance, because all they had to do was watch peers and students in front of them to see how the game was being played.

He needs to go back and do the steps his peers did earlier. Internships, volunteering, student programs. Have him look at programs that have an application involving more than a resume, like Americorps or Service Year.

Another option could be going through some kind of coding or data science bootcamp. Some programs have job placement services with good success rates and the credential can help make up for lack of experience.

AmeriCorps or Peace Corps is a GREAT idea. He will learn a lot about himself. The alumni network is powerful and connected. One friend finished service in West Africa and went to Goldman Sachs after that. Then to various hedge funds, he's now very very rich. I hate PE, IB and MC though, they are vampire squid industries that remove wealth and transfer it to the .01%, and hasten our planet's death by capitalism. But I know DCUM would rather have status than a healthy planet, so there you go.

[Anonymous]

I found americorps to be a waste of life. Underpaid and surrounded by idiot wannabe tyrants. Doesn’t help your resume and not a network of creepy people I ever tapped or ever sought to even associate with after that year.

[Anonymous]

The fact that you think that only Ivy League graduates could possible answer this question is part of the problem.

[Anonymous]

Didn’t TFA and Americorps lose their cachet like 10 years ago?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The career services dept at my Ivy was not helpful, and many of us were useless when it came to networking.

^This. One of the main purposes of attending Ivies is to have access to a much better network than UVA or UMD. The problem is that most people don't know how to take advantage of it.

There are networks within schools. Fraternities, sororities, athletics (e.g. lacrosse), and specific schools (e.g. business) provide networks within colleges. If you are trying to get into a field or an area without much coverage from your school, then it might be limited. Career services departments are more oriented toward current students than for graduates. Activities for graduates are more through the alumni organization.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I posted a few months ago about my son's looming graduation. Now he is home and moping around. He finally opened up that feels like an idiot, he's overwhelmed and he's humiliated compared to all of his overachieving classmates. He's scared to ask his more connected friends (and their parents) for help because his resume is so vacant and they seem so perfect. He knows he can apply for random entry-level jobs any random college grad can apply for but he feels like he has wasted the opportunity if he settles for anything. He does not mean that in a snobby way–we are just a middle class family–but I also know how that could come across. It was a very expensive education and the opportunity of a lifetime. Any help in coaxing him out of this funk and where he should be looking is appreciated. Should he contact career services at his alma mater or would reaching out to his network of friends and their parents offer far more opportunities?

I want to stress his resume is basically vacant outside of the new BA and his GPA is pretty abysmal, so he thinks he's going to be mocked or his resume will just be ignored.

That described me. I moped and fretted, but got a low level job through some friends (not from college) and just kept moving from there. You just need to get almost any start, work hard, and keep moving. The ones that I notice really get ahead are the ones that keep looking for new opportunities and keep moving from a career standpoint by taking new jobs and developing their marketable skill base.

[Anonymous]

It is a bad thing if students get the idea that they have made it by gaining admittance to a selective school. For instance, the talk on DCUM about UVA being a gold ticket is not good if it goes to the head of the student. In most cases, they are going to have to really push regardless of where they went to school.

[Anonymous]

Reading this thread, I am so glad I just went to an average college. The expectations for me and my friends was - get a job and get moving. Wait tables, sub teach, be an admin assistant at a law firm, etc. That was 30+ years ago. Learned a thing or two, had fun, and am now a CIO.

[Anonymous]

My son sounds similar to yours, OP. Not Ivy but a top ten. And great GPA. I think he’s exhausted and just wants a break. I am not pressuring him. Not yet. Maybe in a month or two. He’s actively looking, applying to both jobs and internships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These passive-aggressive posts are ridiculous. Why would any grown adult with a bachelor's degree, let alone a $300,000 bachelor's degree, waste their life in a McDonald's unless they're a franchisee? It's something. Yeah, something to set off every red flag there is. A spruced up resume and a little bit of effort over the next few weeks should net any new Ivy graduate a $60,000 salary and benefits. Minimum. And a good amount of effort will net far more than one offer, so he or she can negotiate from there. An Ivy League degree is a lottery ticket.

Herein lies the problem. An Ivy League degree is not a lottery ticket anymore, Those days are over. Traditional Ivy destinations — investment banks, consulting firms, whatever, have expanded their reach well beyond these schools. OP’s son maybe feels like he has to live up to his degree and do something fantastic, rather than searching for what he really wants to do. Maybe just give him some time to realize the whole world is open to him, not the myopic views of the east coast elite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I posted a few months ago about my son's looming graduation. Now he is home and moping around. He finally opened up that feels like an idiot, he's overwhelmed and he's humiliated compared to all of his overachieving classmates. He's scared to ask his more connected friends (and their parents) for help because his resume is so vacant and they seem so perfect. He knows he can apply for random entry-level jobs any random college grad can apply for but he feels like he has wasted the opportunity if he settles for anything. He does not mean that in a snobby way–we are just a middle class family–but I also know how that could come across. It was a very expensive education and the opportunity of a lifetime. Any help in coaxing him out of this funk and where he should be looking is appreciated. Should he contact career services at his alma mater or would reaching out to his network of friends and their parents offer far more opportunities?

I want to stress his resume is basically vacant outside of the new BA and his GPA is pretty abysmal, so he thinks he's going to be mocked or his resume will just be ignored.

He needs to recognize his privilege and get his arse into gear. Millions of American kids would kill for his degree. Why? Because it is a golden ticket that can pay dividends for the next 40 years. Anyone can go buy an Ivy graduate degree, the true pedigree is that bachelor's degree. Your son doesn't realize how easy it is. It's as easy as cold emailing a local rich guy who went to the same college. Brief but be sure to include he just graduated, concentration, any honors, and something like "I admire your success and was wondering if you'd have any insights into seeking a full-time offer..." It is THAT easy in these rarefied networks.

[Anonymous]

Have him talk to the US military recruiters for OCS. He needs to talk to each branch and see what they are offering.

The military likes to hire and recruit Ivy graduates.

The Ivy graduates don't have the cachet of the service academy graduates but the Ivy recruits still get good assignments.

[Anonymous]

Get him over to Ocean City or Rehoboth. Workers are in demand. He can bunk with roommates.

There is big money to be made for those working at the beaches over the next 10 weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son sounds similar to yours, OP. Not Ivy but a top ten. And great GPA. I think he’s exhausted and just wants a break. I am not pressuring him. Not yet. Maybe in a month or two. He’s actively looking, applying to both jobs and internships.

How is that different from any recent college graduate?

The school ranking is irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

There is no Ivy League network really, it can help you get into grad school and that’s about it.

The employers that pay a premium for an Ivy grad are actually looking for the hallmarks of a connected family and upbringing — rowing crew and interned in banking etc.

Only the closest of friends (or often a significant other) will go bat and hook you up.

Not true at my Ivy. As someone else said, my Ivy maintains a list of alumni who are willing to mentor grads or just talk to them about careers. A lot of the people who do it come from humble beginnings and are on the lookout for others from humble beginnings.

In addition to contacting career services, he should check out the qualifications and application process for substitute teaching. He may not get anything until September, but he should get the ball rolling as soon as possible. He might also contact his old high school about that.

He should also check out attorneys, especially ones in smaller practices, who might take him on as a temporary paralegal. (Online alumni directory usually lets you sort by occupation.)

Talk to the chair of the department he majored in or better yet, a prof who liked him.. A friend of my kid's was jobless and asked a grad student in the department who'd been her TA for advice. TA talked to profs and one gave her a job for a year. It was low-paying, but a good resume builder.

Another thing to do is talk to the admissions office. Sometimes they hire recent grads to interview applicants or visit high schools, etc.

Is there an X Club in the city where you live? I know one of them used to hire unemployed recent grads as bartenders and wait staff. Interacting with alums using the club sometimes led to permanent employment for those with an outgoing personality.

Sign up with temp agencies.

My kids' LACs (ranked in the 40s) also provide these alumni (and parent) connections.