Unhooked kids - Why is private HS worth the diminished chances for top college admissions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are paying for the peer group.

Just for that? Why not move to the Whitman cluster then and get an overachieving white/ Asian peer group for free?

Not my peer group. If I wanted to hang out with Bethesdaians I would but I didn’t so I don’t

[Anonymous]

Peer group for the children. We don’t like all the people there but at least the dating and friend pool is pretty solid, alumni network is for life. Money can’t buy that even though it does once you are accepted. It’s hard to describe if you don’t know it first hand.

Absence of stress other than the academic stress is a big one in DC

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- some of us went to private schools and would never consider sending our kids to public. For some, it is a class thing. I have a hard time thinking that snything free (public) could be any good.

Public school isn't free. You pay taxes for that - so do people who don't even have kids. (coming from a private school parent who things this is not just an uninformed statement but an obnoxious statement)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are paying for the peer group.

Just for that? Why not move to the Whitman cluster then and get an overachieving white/ Asian peer group for free?

Not my peer group. If I wanted to hang out with Bethesdaians I would but I didn’t so I don’t

What? I’m not talking about your peer group, I’m talking about the students in these schools. Your kids peer group would be overachieving white and Asian kids in many of the DMV public school…Whitman, Langley, etc.

[Anonymous]

Some parents are all about pushing to top colleges, most aren’t. Academics weren’t even the reason we chose private path to begin with.

Don’t care where/if they go to college, as long as they are happy, a good person and a productive member of society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Peer group for the children. We don’t like all the people there but at least the dating and friend pool is pretty solid, alumni network is for life. Money can’t buy that even though it does once you are accepted. It’s hard to describe if you don’t know it first hand.

Absence of stress other than the academic stress is a big one in DC

Are you trying to say private school kids are nicer than public school kids?
Kind of a weird statement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do it for the 13 years of consistent education, the experience and connections made during those years and the community. Our public is too big, too anonymous, too many behavior problems and checked out parents. This is a gift to our children. The best education we could provide them and the environment to support a better childhood. I'm saying the quiet part out loud here- people are buying a prettier, calmer, more focused experience. It's not about college at all

If you could have a kid who is happy, well mannered, good stats..etc. in a public, would you still go with private? I am curious about "it's not about college at all" comment.

I am not the poster you are replying to but I will offer my experience. We had that situation with our older son and did not go private. He thrived in public school - loves the noise and hustle. Loved having large groups of friends who all lived within a reasonable distance from school and had a very active social life. High stats, good relationships with several teachers, very involved in EC and now at a highly selective NESCAC where he tutors many kids from well-known privates as a tutor for his college's resource center. Our other son wanted a smaller environment and less noise and stimuli. He likes his school and his teachers and we think it has been worth the money. He missed having friends close by and that has created some challenges in his social life (which I believe is a very important part of well-being and development). Each kids is different so generalizations don't help much, in my opinion. And for those posters saying that if you haven't experienced an independent school, they shouldn't be commenting here, the same could be said for those same people commenting on the public school experience. I've had the experience with both and I can say that both experiences can be good. When I went to college, the kids that I saw go crazy and flounder were the private school kids. My college-aged son says the same. My friends who are professors and deans at various colleges love public school students - they have learned to navigate heterogenous groups, deal with large classes, are more adaptable, keep themselves on track, etc. Yes, there is some generalizing here but it is their experience shared with me. It doesn't mean private school is bad at all just that it isn't a panacea or a guarantee of a good school experience. I live 2 blocks from our neighborhood elementary school and have three friends who teach there. Trust me, there is plenty of joy there. I hear the kids outside throughout the day, I know what my friends are doing in the classroom, I see all the families gather outside on the playground after school for hours playing and talking. People need to pick what is right for their family but don't bash others for their choice (if they even had one) and certainly don't diminish the hard work of public school students who do well in some challenging environments.

Stop the bashing of public school students while I go on about how dumb private schools kids are.

That isn't what I did - that's just what you took from it. As you can see what I wrote, i have a private school kid who is having a good experience and we think it is worth the money. You just chose to focus on the some of the experiences that I pointed out that addressed my point that a private school education isn't a panacea. I think this board frequently bashes public schools/students unfairly while deluding themselves that private schools are always better than public. If you can't see that point, that is your problem not mine.

I’m not PP, but I don’t think that’s accurate. There have been multiple threads over the past month or so on this forum about how crappy the college prospects are for private school kids, how private schools got rid of APs because their kids would do badly on the exams, etc.

No one says that's why private schools eliminated APs. Even at schools where the classes are gone, kids continue to do well on the exams.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- some of us went to private schools and would never consider sending our kids to public. For some, it is a class thing. I have a hard time thinking that snything free (public) could be any good.

This doesn't say much for the quality of your private school education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do it for the 13 years of consistent education, the experience and connections made during those years and the community. Our public is too big, too anonymous, too many behavior problems and checked out parents. This is a gift to our children. The best education we could provide them and the environment to support a better childhood. I'm saying the quiet part out loud here- people are buying a prettier, calmer, more focused experience. It's not about college at all

If you could have a kid who is happy, well mannered, good stats..etc. in a public, would you still go with private? I am curious about "it's not about college at all" comment.

I am not the poster you are replying to but I will offer my experience. We had that situation with our older son and did not go private. He thrived in public school - loves the noise and hustle. Loved having large groups of friends who all lived within a reasonable distance from school and had a very active social life. High stats, good relationships with several teachers, very involved in EC and now at a highly selective NESCAC where he tutors many kids from well-known privates as a tutor for his college's resource center. Our other son wanted a smaller environment and less noise and stimuli. He likes his school and his teachers and we think it has been worth the money. He missed having friends close by and that has created some challenges in his social life (which I believe is a very important part of well-being and development). Each kids is different so generalizations don't help much, in my opinion. And for those posters saying that if you haven't experienced an independent school, they shouldn't be commenting here, the same could be said for those same people commenting on the public school experience. I've had the experience with both and I can say that both experiences can be good. When I went to college, the kids that I saw go crazy and flounder were the private school kids. My college-aged son says the same. My friends who are professors and deans at various colleges love public school students - they have learned to navigate heterogenous groups, deal with large classes, are more adaptable, keep themselves on track, etc. Yes, there is some generalizing here but it is their experience shared with me. It doesn't mean private school is bad at all just that it isn't a panacea or a guarantee of a good school experience. I live 2 blocks from our neighborhood elementary school and have three friends who teach there. Trust me, there is plenty of joy there. I hear the kids outside throughout the day, I know what my friends are doing in the classroom, I see all the families gather outside on the playground after school for hours playing and talking. People need to pick what is right for their family but don't bash others for their choice (if they even had one) and certainly don't diminish the hard work of public school students who do well in some challenging environments.

Stop the bashing of public school students while I go on about how dumb private schools kids are.

That isn't what I did - that's just what you took from it. As you can see what I wrote, i have a private school kid who is having a good experience and we think it is worth the money. You just chose to focus on the some of the experiences that I pointed out that addressed my point that a private school education isn't a panacea. I think this board frequently bashes public schools/students unfairly while deluding themselves that private schools are always better than public. If you can't see that point, that is your problem not mine.

I’m not PP, but I don’t think that’s accurate. There have been multiple threads over the past month or so on this forum about how crappy the college prospects are for private school kids, how private schools got rid of APs because their kids would do badly on the exams, etc.

No one says that's why private schools eliminated APs. Even at schools where the classes are gone, kids continue to do well on the exams.

But that's not the reason why you send your kids to private, right? Right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Peer group for the children. We don’t like all the people there but at least the dating and friend pool is pretty solid, alumni network is for life. Money can’t buy that even though it does once you are accepted. It’s hard to describe if you don’t know it first hand.

Absence of stress other than the academic stress is a big one in DC

Are you trying to say private school kids are nicer than public school kids?
Kind of a weird statement.

Of course that is the message. It carries into college where there can also be a public private social split. But not academically as reported to me. Public kids are doing well academically particularly in humanities and sciences. The one area that private kids excel is math, at least as is being reported back to me from junior at tough top college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Peer group for the children. We don’t like all the people there but at least the dating and friend pool is pretty solid, alumni network is for life. Money can’t buy that even though it does once you are accepted. It’s hard to describe if you don’t know it first hand.

Absence of stress other than the academic stress is a big one in DC

Are you trying to say private school kids are nicer than public school kids?
Kind of a weird statement.

Of course that is the message. It carries into college where there can also be a public private social split. But not academically as reported to me. Public kids are doing well academically particularly in humanities and sciences. The one area that private kids excel is math, at least as is being reported back to me from junior at tough top college.

so public kids do better in science but not in math? lol. okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Peer group for the children. We don’t like all the people there but at least the dating and friend pool is pretty solid, alumni network is for life. Money can’t buy that even though it does once you are accepted. It’s hard to describe if you don’t know it first hand.

Absence of stress other than the academic stress is a big one in DC

Are you trying to say private school kids are nicer than public school kids?
Kind of a weird statement.

Of course that is the message. It carries into college where there can also be a public private social split. But not academically as reported to me. Public kids are doing well academically particularly in humanities and sciences. The one area that private kids excel is math, at least as is being reported back to me from junior at tough top college.

Honestly, depends on the school. There are public schools in some states (not DMV) that are better than any private. There are many private ones here that also suck. But I don’t worry about nutty and violent kids and bad teachers or ideological curriculum or my kids safety or peer group or dating pool or social life prospects. And that’s worth a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Peer group for the children. We don’t like all the people there but at least the dating and friend pool is pretty solid, alumni network is for life. Money can’t buy that even though it does once you are accepted. It’s hard to describe if you don’t know it first hand.

Absence of stress other than the academic stress is a big one in DC

Are you trying to say private school kids are nicer than public school kids?
Kind of a weird statement.

Of course that is the message. It carries into college where there can also be a public private social split. But not academically as reported to me. Public kids are doing well academically particularly in humanities and sciences. The one area that private kids excel is math, at least as is being reported back to me from junior at tough top college.

so public kids do better in science but not in math? lol. okay.

Sounded odd to me as well but that is what DC claims.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are paying for the peer group.

Just for that? Why not move to the Whitman cluster then and get an overachieving white/ Asian peer group for free?

We don't all live in the DC area, or in places that support a robust and healthy public school system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Peer group for the children. We don’t like all the people there but at least the dating and friend pool is pretty solid, alumni network is for life. Money can’t buy that even though it does once you are accepted. It’s hard to describe if you don’t know it first hand.

Absence of stress other than the academic stress is a big one in DC

Are you trying to say private school kids are nicer than public school kids?
Kind of a weird statement.

Of course that is the message. It carries into college where there can also be a public private social split. But not academically as reported to me. Public kids are doing well academically particularly in humanities and sciences. The one area that private kids excel is math, at least as is being reported back to me from junior at tough top college.

Honestly, depends on the school. There are public schools in some states (not DMV) that are better than any private. There are many private ones here that also suck. But I don’t worry about nutty and violent kids and bad teachers or ideological curriculum or my kids safety or peer group or dating pool or social life prospects. And that’s worth a lot.

Some of the most relaxed, open minded young adults I know came out of NYC publics. So diverse and these people just are comfortable anywhere compared to mine that were in a non diverse bubble. Mine got a great education in some ways but were not exposed to much diversity and that is a negative IMO.