UVA Greek System

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious how the first rounds went for girls! They got their first cuts this morning i think. My DD is in a sorority doing rush for the first time and she could not believe the arrogance of some of the PNMs coming through. One girl literally refused to give her name and said "i don't need to be here" when my DD tried to talk to her. Some of you parents have not done a good job raising your kids!

It didn’t go well for my DD (definitely not one of the arrogant kids your DD encountered). After talking to her, I think some of her responses to questions weren’t ideal. She is considering trying to rush informally after bid day. I didn’t rush so I have no clue how all of this works.

I am sorry to hear it did not go well, however I'd encourage her to stick out the process a little longer. She can always drop out at the last minute. There are too many stories of COB not working out, that I would be a bit concerned about that. My DD got dropped by all but 4 houses after the first round last year. Four. Was absolutely heartbroken and shocked. Was a very tough day and several of her friends had the same experience, some of them dropped altogether, one did do COB but not to a house that she didn't have on her initial call backlist. Thankfully the house that my DD genuinely had the best conversations with was still on the list and that is where she went. She knew nothing about this sorority, it flies under the radar a bit but she absolutely LOVES it and is loving it more and more even as she goes through rush and gets to know more of the sisters. There are 150+ girls in this house so it may take a while to find the right people, but they are there.

My DD has been passionately telling her story to the PNMs coming through, that she didn't know anything about her sorority and just went based on what was "popular" or what her friends wanted, but ultimately ended up in the right and best place for her.

Thank you for your kind reply! Unfortunately, she already withdrew before she texted me this morning. She went into the first round with a completely open mind. She didn't look into rankings or anything because she didn't want to be influenced by that. She felt like it went well and had a good connection with about half of the houses. None of those invited her back for philanthropy day. (I'm not sure how many, if any, invited her back.). She wasn't 100% in on rushing and that might have come through during the interviews. Or maybe the houses she liked just didn't like her. I think she may reach out to some of the houses (not going to bother with the top tier) and see what happens. If that doesn't work out, she may see if her friends end up someplace they like and try to get a bid next year. From what little I know, it seems to help to know someone who can vouch for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious how the first rounds went for girls! They got their first cuts this morning i think. My DD is in a sorority doing rush for the first time and she could not believe the arrogance of some of the PNMs coming through. One girl literally refused to give her name and said "i don't need to be here" when my DD tried to talk to her. Some of you parents have not done a good job raising your kids!

It didn’t go well for my DD (definitely not one of the arrogant kids your DD encountered). After talking to her, I think some of her responses to questions weren’t ideal. She is considering trying to rush informally after bid day. I didn’t rush so I have no clue how all of this works.

I am sorry to hear it did not go well, however I'd encourage her to stick out the process a little longer. She can always drop out at the last minute. There are too many stories of COB not working out, that I would be a bit concerned about that. My DD got dropped by all but 4 houses after the first round last year. Four. Was absolutely heartbroken and shocked. Was a very tough day and several of her friends had the same experience, some of them dropped altogether, one did do COB but not to a house that she didn't have on her initial call backlist. Thankfully the house that my DD genuinely had the best conversations with was still on the list and that is where she went. She knew nothing about this sorority, it flies under the radar a bit but she absolutely LOVES it and is loving it more and more even as she goes through rush and gets to know more of the sisters. There are 150+ girls in this house so it may take a while to find the right people, but they are there.

My DD has been passionately telling her story to the PNMs coming through, that she didn't know anything about her sorority and just went based on what was "popular" or what her friends wanted, but ultimately ended up in the right and best place for her.

These stories make me sad. I was in a sorority elsewhere and had a good experience but it was more low key as I recall. I don't think I got dropped but honestly I can not recall the whole process. I am starting to hope my daughter does not end up at a school with a large greek system. I would hate for her to be feeling this way above. Going to college is enough of a transition and I think this sounds like it could really ruin their experience.

Im the PP who posted this, honestly it was a couple days of sadness, and everyone will experience that, but then ultimately by the end of the week, she ended up in the right place with 50+ other new pledges. So was the few days of sadness worth it, yes. She should have gone in more open minded, which is what she's trying to say to PNMs right now. The ones that are most sad are those who expected to be in the choosing position after first round, but ultimately they are not. The computers choose. Of the 15 sororities at UVA, only one of them is probably not worth joining and may be on the outs soon.

If the right place is the house that takes everyone the other houses don't want, it's both obvious to everyone involved and a huge blow those those girls' self esteem. Everyone talking about the right house seems like they actually landed in a house that wanted them and that they wanted, and that's great, but there are also houses that these girls don't want and who are happy to take anyone who will pay dues.

There is only one of 15 houses at UVA that I would say is described this way. I believe they had 8 pledges last year while the other houses had over 50. So that means there are 14 sororities that these girls should be giving a fair chance. All I'm saying is that they should keep going, meet more people and then decide. Eliminating a sorority because it's not as popular as another is short sighted. At least get to know the girls before you decide it's not for you. My DD had one of her list that she liked, but others that she did not. She still went through the process but decided that if she didn't get a bid to the house she liked, she didn't see herself in the second choice so she would not accept that bid. Ultimately it worked out fine, but sure, there are houses that may not feel like the right fit, and that's completely fair, but if you are judging the sorority on one or two conversations, that is not fair to anyone.

[Anonymous]

Try to stay until near end. They will continually meet new people in each. Learn about each house more even if decide to COB later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious how the first rounds went for girls! They got their first cuts this morning i think. My DD is in a sorority doing rush for the first time and she could not believe the arrogance of some of the PNMs coming through. One girl literally refused to give her name and said "i don't need to be here" when my DD tried to talk to her. Some of you parents have not done a good job raising your kids!

It didn’t go well for my DD (definitely not one of the arrogant kids your DD encountered). After talking to her, I think some of her responses to questions weren’t ideal. She is considering trying to rush informally after bid day. I didn’t rush so I have no clue how all of this works.

I am sorry to hear it did not go well, however I'd encourage her to stick out the process a little longer. She can always drop out at the last minute. There are too many stories of COB not working out, that I would be a bit concerned about that. My DD got dropped by all but 4 houses after the first round last year. Four. Was absolutely heartbroken and shocked. Was a very tough day and several of her friends had the same experience, some of them dropped altogether, one did do COB but not to a house that she didn't have on her initial call backlist. Thankfully the house that my DD genuinely had the best conversations with was still on the list and that is where she went. She knew nothing about this sorority, it flies under the radar a bit but she absolutely LOVES it and is loving it more and more even as she goes through rush and gets to know more of the sisters. There are 150+ girls in this house so it may take a while to find the right people, but they are there.

My DD has been passionately telling her story to the PNMs coming through, that she didn't know anything about her sorority and just went based on what was "popular" or what her friends wanted, but ultimately ended up in the right and best place for her.

Thank you for your kind reply! Unfortunately, she already withdrew before she texted me this morning. She went into the first round with a completely open mind. She didn't look into rankings or anything because she didn't want to be influenced by that. She felt like it went well and had a good connection with about half of the houses. None of those invited her back for philanthropy day. (I'm not sure how many, if any, invited her back.). She wasn't 100% in on rushing and that might have come through during the interviews. Or maybe the houses she liked just didn't like her. I think she may reach out to some of the houses (not going to bother with the top tier) and see what happens. If that doesn't work out, she may see if her friends end up someplace they like and try to get a bid next year. From what little I know, it seems to help to know someone who can vouch for you.

I am sorry to hear this, but I do understand her disappointment. As I said my DD was there last year. She really debated all day whether she should drop and she sat and talked with her friends and some of them decided to keep going, others didn't. I am 100% sure she was not dropped from all houses, that is not how it works at UVA. Its completely fair that if she didn't like the girls at the houses she had left, I get it, but I wished she'd given them at least one more chance. Best of luck to her and her friends!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious how the first rounds went for girls! They got their first cuts this morning i think. My DD is in a sorority doing rush for the first time and she could not believe the arrogance of some of the PNMs coming through. One girl literally refused to give her name and said "i don't need to be here" when my DD tried to talk to her. Some of you parents have not done a good job raising your kids!

It didn’t go well for my DD (definitely not one of the arrogant kids your DD encountered). After talking to her, I think some of her responses to questions weren’t ideal. She is considering trying to rush informally after bid day. I didn’t rush so I have no clue how all of this works.

I am sorry to hear it did not go well, however I'd encourage her to stick out the process a little longer. She can always drop out at the last minute. There are too many stories of COB not working out, that I would be a bit concerned about that. My DD got dropped by all but 4 houses after the first round last year. Four. Was absolutely heartbroken and shocked. Was a very tough day and several of her friends had the same experience, some of them dropped altogether, one did do COB but not to a house that she didn't have on her initial call backlist. Thankfully the house that my DD genuinely had the best conversations with was still on the list and that is where she went. She knew nothing about this sorority, it flies under the radar a bit but she absolutely LOVES it and is loving it more and more even as she goes through rush and gets to know more of the sisters. There are 150+ girls in this house so it may take a while to find the right people, but they are there.

My DD has been passionately telling her story to the PNMs coming through, that she didn't know anything about her sorority and just went based on what was "popular" or what her friends wanted, but ultimately ended up in the right and best place for her.

These stories make me sad. I was in a sorority elsewhere and had a good experience but it was more low key as I recall. I don't think I got dropped but honestly I can not recall the whole process. I am starting to hope my daughter does not end up at a school with a large greek system. I would hate for her to be feeling this way above. Going to college is enough of a transition and I think this sounds like it could really ruin their experience.

I'm the PP whose daughter didn't get the results she wanted after the first round. The good news is that because rush is in the spring at UVA, she already has close friends that she loves (hoping the group doesn't break up after rush and gets getting into different houses). With my younger kids, timing of rush is definitely something I will suggest they consider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious how the first rounds went for girls! They got their first cuts this morning i think. My DD is in a sorority doing rush for the first time and she could not believe the arrogance of some of the PNMs coming through. One girl literally refused to give her name and said "i don't need to be here" when my DD tried to talk to her. Some of you parents have not done a good job raising your kids!

It didn’t go well for my DD (definitely not one of the arrogant kids your DD encountered). After talking to her, I think some of her responses to questions weren’t ideal. She is considering trying to rush informally after bid day. I didn’t rush so I have no clue how all of this works.

I am sorry to hear it did not go well, however I'd encourage her to stick out the process a little longer. She can always drop out at the last minute. There are too many stories of COB not working out, that I would be a bit concerned about that. My DD got dropped by all but 4 houses after the first round last year. Four. Was absolutely heartbroken and shocked. Was a very tough day and several of her friends had the same experience, some of them dropped altogether, one did do COB but not to a house that she didn't have on her initial call backlist. Thankfully the house that my DD genuinely had the best conversations with was still on the list and that is where she went. She knew nothing about this sorority, it flies under the radar a bit but she absolutely LOVES it and is loving it more and more even as she goes through rush and gets to know more of the sisters. There are 150+ girls in this house so it may take a while to find the right people, but they are there.

My DD has been passionately telling her story to the PNMs coming through, that she didn't know anything about her sorority and just went based on what was "popular" or what her friends wanted, but ultimately ended up in the right and best place for her.

These stories make me sad. I was in a sorority elsewhere and had a good experience but it was more low key as I recall. I don't think I got dropped but honestly I can not recall the whole process. I am starting to hope my daughter does not end up at a school with a large greek system. I would hate for her to be feeling this way above. Going to college is enough of a transition and I think this sounds like it could really ruin their experience.

Im the PP who posted this, honestly it was a couple days of sadness, and everyone will experience that, but then ultimately by the end of the week, she ended up in the right place with 50+ other new pledges. So was the few days of sadness worth it, yes. She should have gone in more open minded, which is what she's trying to say to PNMs right now. The ones that are most sad are those who expected to be in the choosing position after first round, but ultimately they are not. The computers choose. Of the 15 sororities at UVA, only one of them is probably not worth joining and may be on the outs soon.

If the right place is the house that takes everyone the other houses don't want, it's both obvious to everyone involved and a huge blow those those girls' self esteem. Everyone talking about the right house seems like they actually landed in a house that wanted them and that they wanted, and that's great, but there are also houses that these girls don't want and who are happy to take anyone who will pay dues.

There is only one of 15 houses at UVA that I would say is described this way. I believe they had 8 pledges last year while the other houses had over 50. So that means there are 14 sororities that these girls should be giving a fair chance. All I'm saying is that they should keep going, meet more people and then decide. Eliminating a sorority because it's not as popular as another is short sighted. At least get to know the girls before you decide it's not for you. My DD had one of her list that she liked, but others that she did not. She still went through the process but decided that if she didn't get a bid to the house she liked, she didn't see herself in the second choice so she would not accept that bid. Ultimately it worked out fine, but sure, there are houses that may not feel like the right fit, and that's completely fair, but if you are judging the sorority on one or two conversations, that is not fair to anyone.

Read PP's post about her daughter withdrawing after receiving no invitations to philanthropy day. Sometimes I think these "you'll land somewhere great because I did" posts are from women who wanted tri delta and got DG instead rather than women like PP's daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious how the first rounds went for girls! They got their first cuts this morning i think. My DD is in a sorority doing rush for the first time and she could not believe the arrogance of some of the PNMs coming through. One girl literally refused to give her name and said "i don't need to be here" when my DD tried to talk to her. Some of you parents have not done a good job raising your kids!

It didn’t go well for my DD (definitely not one of the arrogant kids your DD encountered). After talking to her, I think some of her responses to questions weren’t ideal. She is considering trying to rush informally after bid day. I didn’t rush so I have no clue how all of this works.

I am sorry to hear it did not go well, however I'd encourage her to stick out the process a little longer. She can always drop out at the last minute. There are too many stories of COB not working out, that I would be a bit concerned about that. My DD got dropped by all but 4 houses after the first round last year. Four. Was absolutely heartbroken and shocked. Was a very tough day and several of her friends had the same experience, some of them dropped altogether, one did do COB but not to a house that she didn't have on her initial call backlist. Thankfully the house that my DD genuinely had the best conversations with was still on the list and that is where she went. She knew nothing about this sorority, it flies under the radar a bit but she absolutely LOVES it and is loving it more and more even as she goes through rush and gets to know more of the sisters. There are 150+ girls in this house so it may take a while to find the right people, but they are there.

My DD has been passionately telling her story to the PNMs coming through, that she didn't know anything about her sorority and just went based on what was "popular" or what her friends wanted, but ultimately ended up in the right and best place for her.

Thank you for your kind reply! Unfortunately, she already withdrew before she texted me this morning. She went into the first round with a completely open mind. She didn't look into rankings or anything because she didn't want to be influenced by that. She felt like it went well and had a good connection with about half of the houses. None of those invited her back for philanthropy day. (I'm not sure how many, if any, invited her back.). She wasn't 100% in on rushing and that might have come through during the interviews. Or maybe the houses she liked just didn't like her. I think she may reach out to some of the houses (not going to bother with the top tier) and see what happens. If that doesn't work out, she may see if her friends end up someplace they like and try to get a bid next year. From what little I know, it seems to help to know someone who can vouch for you.

I am sorry to hear this, but I do understand her disappointment. As I said my DD was there last year. She really debated all day whether she should drop and she sat and talked with her friends and some of them decided to keep going, others didn't. I am 100% sure she was not dropped from all houses, that is not how it works at UVA. Its completely fair that if she didn't like the girls at the houses she had left, I get it, but I wished she'd given them at least one more chance. Best of luck to her and her friends!

I completely agree! She might have clicked with other girls in the house. Oh well, I'm sure it's good for our kids to experience disappointment sometimes (even if it's tough for their parents to see them sad).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious how the first rounds went for girls! They got their first cuts this morning i think. My DD is in a sorority doing rush for the first time and she could not believe the arrogance of some of the PNMs coming through. One girl literally refused to give her name and said "i don't need to be here" when my DD tried to talk to her. Some of you parents have not done a good job raising your kids!

It didn’t go well for my DD (definitely not one of the arrogant kids your DD encountered). After talking to her, I think some of her responses to questions weren’t ideal. She is considering trying to rush informally after bid day. I didn’t rush so I have no clue how all of this works.

I am sorry to hear it did not go well, however I'd encourage her to stick out the process a little longer. She can always drop out at the last minute. There are too many stories of COB not working out, that I would be a bit concerned about that. My DD got dropped by all but 4 houses after the first round last year. Four. Was absolutely heartbroken and shocked. Was a very tough day and several of her friends had the same experience, some of them dropped altogether, one did do COB but not to a house that she didn't have on her initial call backlist. Thankfully the house that my DD genuinely had the best conversations with was still on the list and that is where she went. She knew nothing about this sorority, it flies under the radar a bit but she absolutely LOVES it and is loving it more and more even as she goes through rush and gets to know more of the sisters. There are 150+ girls in this house so it may take a while to find the right people, but they are there.

My DD has been passionately telling her story to the PNMs coming through, that she didn't know anything about her sorority and just went based on what was "popular" or what her friends wanted, but ultimately ended up in the right and best place for her.

These stories make me sad. I was in a sorority elsewhere and had a good experience but it was more low key as I recall. I don't think I got dropped but honestly I can not recall the whole process. I am starting to hope my daughter does not end up at a school with a large greek system. I would hate for her to be feeling this way above. Going to college is enough of a transition and I think this sounds like it could really ruin their experience.

I'm the PP whose daughter didn't get the results she wanted after the first round. The good news is that because rush is in the spring at UVA, she already has close friends that she loves (hoping the group doesn't break up after rush and gets getting into different houses). With my younger kids, timing of rush is definitely something I will suggest they consider.

My school held off o rush until fall of Sophomore year. I think the big advantage was that you knew your friends, knew house reputations as often members of the houses already, and most importantly, you already had housing for the year. I think spring rush can really throw that for a loop if your friend group ends up in different houses

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious how the first rounds went for girls! They got their first cuts this morning i think. My DD is in a sorority doing rush for the first time and she could not believe the arrogance of some of the PNMs coming through. One girl literally refused to give her name and said "i don't need to be here" when my DD tried to talk to her. Some of you parents have not done a good job raising your kids!

It didn’t go well for my DD (definitely not one of the arrogant kids your DD encountered). After talking to her, I think some of her responses to questions weren’t ideal. She is considering trying to rush informally after bid day. I didn’t rush so I have no clue how all of this works.

I am sorry to hear it did not go well, however I'd encourage her to stick out the process a little longer. She can always drop out at the last minute. There are too many stories of COB not working out, that I would be a bit concerned about that. My DD got dropped by all but 4 houses after the first round last year. Four. Was absolutely heartbroken and shocked. Was a very tough day and several of her friends had the same experience, some of them dropped altogether, one did do COB but not to a house that she didn't have on her initial call backlist. Thankfully the house that my DD genuinely had the best conversations with was still on the list and that is where she went. She knew nothing about this sorority, it flies under the radar a bit but she absolutely LOVES it and is loving it more and more even as she goes through rush and gets to know more of the sisters. There are 150+ girls in this house so it may take a while to find the right people, but they are there.

My DD has been passionately telling her story to the PNMs coming through, that she didn't know anything about her sorority and just went based on what was "popular" or what her friends wanted, but ultimately ended up in the right and best place for her.

These stories make me sad. I was in a sorority elsewhere and had a good experience but it was more low key as I recall. I don't think I got dropped but honestly I can not recall the whole process. I am starting to hope my daughter does not end up at a school with a large greek system. I would hate for her to be feeling this way above. Going to college is enough of a transition and I think this sounds like it could really ruin their experience.

Im the PP who posted this, honestly it was a couple days of sadness, and everyone will experience that, but then ultimately by the end of the week, she ended up in the right place with 50+ other new pledges. So was the few days of sadness worth it, yes. She should have gone in more open minded, which is what she's trying to say to PNMs right now. The ones that are most sad are those who expected to be in the choosing position after first round, but ultimately they are not. The computers choose. Of the 15 sororities at UVA, only one of them is probably not worth joining and may be on the outs soon.

If the right place is the house that takes everyone the other houses don't want, it's both obvious to everyone involved and a huge blow those those girls' self esteem. Everyone talking about the right house seems like they actually landed in a house that wanted them and that they wanted, and that's great, but there are also houses that these girls don't want and who are happy to take anyone who will pay dues.

There is only one of 15 houses at UVA that I would say is described this way. I believe they had 8 pledges last year while the other houses had over 50. So that means there are 14 sororities that these girls should be giving a fair chance. All I'm saying is that they should keep going, meet more people and then decide. Eliminating a sorority because it's not as popular as another is short sighted. At least get to know the girls before you decide it's not for you. My DD had one of her list that she liked, but others that she did not. She still went through the process but decided that if she didn't get a bid to the house she liked, she didn't see herself in the second choice so she would not accept that bid. Ultimately it worked out fine, but sure, there are houses that may not feel like the right fit, and that's completely fair, but if you are judging the sorority on one or two conversations, that is not fair to anyone.

Read PP's post about her daughter withdrawing after receiving no invitations to philanthropy day. Sometimes I think these "you'll land somewhere great because I did" posts are from women who wanted tri delta and got DG instead rather than women like PP's daughter.

She got invitations. But not from the houses she wanted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious how the first rounds went for girls! They got their first cuts this morning i think. My DD is in a sorority doing rush for the first time and she could not believe the arrogance of some of the PNMs coming through. One girl literally refused to give her name and said "i don't need to be here" when my DD tried to talk to her. Some of you parents have not done a good job raising your kids!

It didn’t go well for my DD (definitely not one of the arrogant kids your DD encountered). After talking to her, I think some of her responses to questions weren’t ideal. She is considering trying to rush informally after bid day. I didn’t rush so I have no clue how all of this works.

I am sorry to hear it did not go well, however I'd encourage her to stick out the process a little longer. She can always drop out at the last minute. There are too many stories of COB not working out, that I would be a bit concerned about that. My DD got dropped by all but 4 houses after the first round last year. Four. Was absolutely heartbroken and shocked. Was a very tough day and several of her friends had the same experience, some of them dropped altogether, one did do COB but not to a house that she didn't have on her initial call backlist. Thankfully the house that my DD genuinely had the best conversations with was still on the list and that is where she went. She knew nothing about this sorority, it flies under the radar a bit but she absolutely LOVES it and is loving it more and more even as she goes through rush and gets to know more of the sisters. There are 150+ girls in this house so it may take a while to find the right people, but they are there.

My DD has been passionately telling her story to the PNMs coming through, that she didn't know anything about her sorority and just went based on what was "popular" or what her friends wanted, but ultimately ended up in the right and best place for her.

These stories make me sad. I was in a sorority elsewhere and had a good experience but it was more low key as I recall. I don't think I got dropped but honestly I can not recall the whole process. I am starting to hope my daughter does not end up at a school with a large greek system. I would hate for her to be feeling this way above. Going to college is enough of a transition and I think this sounds like it could really ruin their experience.

Im the PP who posted this, honestly it was a couple days of sadness, and everyone will experience that, but then ultimately by the end of the week, she ended up in the right place with 50+ other new pledges. So was the few days of sadness worth it, yes. She should have gone in more open minded, which is what she's trying to say to PNMs right now. The ones that are most sad are those who expected to be in the choosing position after first round, but ultimately they are not. The computers choose. Of the 15 sororities at UVA, only one of them is probably not worth joining and may be on the outs soon.

If the right place is the house that takes everyone the other houses don't want, it's both obvious to everyone involved and a huge blow those those girls' self esteem. Everyone talking about the right house seems like they actually landed in a house that wanted them and that they wanted, and that's great, but there are also houses that these girls don't want and who are happy to take anyone who will pay dues.

There is only one of 15 houses at UVA that I would say is described this way. I believe they had 8 pledges last year while the other houses had over 50. So that means there are 14 sororities that these girls should be giving a fair chance. All I'm saying is that they should keep going, meet more people and then decide. Eliminating a sorority because it's not as popular as another is short sighted. At least get to know the girls before you decide it's not for you. My DD had one of her list that she liked, but others that she did not. She still went through the process but decided that if she didn't get a bid to the house she liked, she didn't see herself in the second choice so she would not accept that bid. Ultimately it worked out fine, but sure, there are houses that may not feel like the right fit, and that's completely fair, but if you are judging the sorority on one or two conversations, that is not fair to anyone.

Read PP's post about her daughter withdrawing after receiving no invitations to philanthropy day. Sometimes I think these "you'll land somewhere great because I did" posts are from women who wanted tri delta and got DG instead rather than women like PP's daughter.

I'm that PP and want to clarify that I don't know if she got other bids. She texted saying she didn't get any she was interested in and withdrew so I just told her I was sorry it didn't work out. I didn't ask any follow questions in case she didn't and I didn't want to make her feel worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious how the first rounds went for girls! They got their first cuts this morning i think. My DD is in a sorority doing rush for the first time and she could not believe the arrogance of some of the PNMs coming through. One girl literally refused to give her name and said "i don't need to be here" when my DD tried to talk to her. Some of you parents have not done a good job raising your kids!

It didn’t go well for my DD (definitely not one of the arrogant kids your DD encountered). After talking to her, I think some of her responses to questions weren’t ideal. She is considering trying to rush informally after bid day. I didn’t rush so I have no clue how all of this works.

I am sorry to hear it did not go well, however I'd encourage her to stick out the process a little longer. She can always drop out at the last minute. There are too many stories of COB not working out, that I would be a bit concerned about that. My DD got dropped by all but 4 houses after the first round last year. Four. Was absolutely heartbroken and shocked. Was a very tough day and several of her friends had the same experience, some of them dropped altogether, one did do COB but not to a house that she didn't have on her initial call backlist. Thankfully the house that my DD genuinely had the best conversations with was still on the list and that is where she went. She knew nothing about this sorority, it flies under the radar a bit but she absolutely LOVES it and is loving it more and more even as she goes through rush and gets to know more of the sisters. There are 150+ girls in this house so it may take a while to find the right people, but they are there.

My DD has been passionately telling her story to the PNMs coming through, that she didn't know anything about her sorority and just went based on what was "popular" or what her friends wanted, but ultimately ended up in the right and best place for her.

These stories make me sad. I was in a sorority elsewhere and had a good experience but it was more low key as I recall. I don't think I got dropped but honestly I can not recall the whole process. I am starting to hope my daughter does not end up at a school with a large greek system. I would hate for her to be feeling this way above. Going to college is enough of a transition and I think this sounds like it could really ruin their experience.

I'm the PP whose daughter didn't get the results she wanted after the first round. The good news is that because rush is in the spring at UVA, she already has close friends that she loves (hoping the group doesn't break up after rush and gets getting into different houses). With my younger kids, timing of rush is definitely something I will suggest they consider.

My school held off o rush until fall of Sophomore year. I think the big advantage was that you knew your friends, knew house reputations as often members of the houses already, and most importantly, you already had housing for the year. I think spring rush can really throw that for a loop if your friend group ends up in different houses

That could be a good idea. At least it’s not fall first year anymore.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Curious how the first rounds went for girls! They got their first cuts this morning i think. My DD is in a sorority doing rush for the first time and she could not believe the arrogance of some of the PNMs coming through. One girl literally refused to give her name and said "i don't need to be here" when my DD tried to talk to her. Some of you parents have not done a good job raising your kids!

It didn’t go well for my DD (definitely not one of the arrogant kids your DD encountered). After talking to her, I think some of her responses to questions weren’t ideal. She is considering trying to rush informally after bid day. I didn’t rush so I have no clue how all of this works.

I am sorry to hear it did not go well, however I'd encourage her to stick out the process a little longer. She can always drop out at the last minute. There are too many stories of COB not working out, that I would be a bit concerned about that. My DD got dropped by all but 4 houses after the first round last year. Four. Was absolutely heartbroken and shocked. Was a very tough day and several of her friends had the same experience, some of them dropped altogether, one did do COB but not to a house that she didn't have on her initial call backlist. Thankfully the house that my DD genuinely had the best conversations with was still on the list and that is where she went. She knew nothing about this sorority, it flies under the radar a bit but she absolutely LOVES it and is loving it more and more even as she goes through rush and gets to know more of the sisters. There are 150+ girls in this house so it may take a while to find the right people, but they are there.

My DD has been passionately telling her story to the PNMs coming through, that she didn't know anything about her sorority and just went based on what was "popular" or what her friends wanted, but ultimately ended up in the right and best place for her.

These stories make me sad. I was in a sorority elsewhere and had a good experience but it was more low key as I recall. I don't think I got dropped but honestly I can not recall the whole process. I am starting to hope my daughter does not end up at a school with a large greek system. I would hate for her to be feeling this way above. Going to college is enough of a transition and I think this sounds like it could really ruin their experience.

Im the PP who posted this, honestly it was a couple days of sadness, and everyone will experience that, but then ultimately by the end of the week, she ended up in the right place with 50+ other new pledges. So was the few days of sadness worth it, yes. She should have gone in more open minded, which is what she's trying to say to PNMs right now. The ones that are most sad are those who expected to be in the choosing position after first round, but ultimately they are not. The computers choose. Of the 15 sororities at UVA, only one of them is probably not worth joining and may be on the outs soon.

If the right place is the house that takes everyone the other houses don't want, it's both obvious to everyone involved and a huge blow those those girls' self esteem. Everyone talking about the right house seems like they actually landed in a house that wanted them and that they wanted, and that's great, but there are also houses that these girls don't want and who are happy to take anyone who will pay dues.

There is only one of 15 houses at UVA that I would say is described this way. I believe they had 8 pledges last year while the other houses had over 50. So that means there are 14 sororities that these girls should be giving a fair chance. All I'm saying is that they should keep going, meet more people and then decide. Eliminating a sorority because it's not as popular as another is short sighted. At least get to know the girls before you decide it's not for you. My DD had one of her list that she liked, but others that she did not. She still went through the process but decided that if she didn't get a bid to the house she liked, she didn't see herself in the second choice so she would not accept that bid. Ultimately it worked out fine, but sure, there are houses that may not feel like the right fit, and that's completely fair, but if you are judging the sorority on one or two conversations, that is not fair to anyone.

Read PP's post about her daughter withdrawing after receiving no invitations to philanthropy day. Sometimes I think these "you'll land somewhere great because I did" posts are from women who wanted tri delta and got DG instead rather than women like PP's daughter.

I'm that PP and want to clarify that I don't know if she got other bids. She texted saying she didn't get any she was interested in and withdrew so I just told her I was sorry it didn't work out. I didn't ask any follow questions in case she didn't and I didn't want to make her feel worse.

She absolutely did get invitations, the PP is wrong. That is how it works at UVA. If you go through the process, you will get a bid somewhere. No one is without an invite today unless they were thrown out of rush *which can happen if they are rude to the sisters and have at least three such complaints.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious how the first rounds went for girls! They got their first cuts this morning i think. My DD is in a sorority doing rush for the first time and she could not believe the arrogance of some of the PNMs coming through. One girl literally refused to give her name and said "i don't need to be here" when my DD tried to talk to her. Some of you parents have not done a good job raising your kids!

It didn’t go well for my DD (definitely not one of the arrogant kids your DD encountered). After talking to her, I think some of her responses to questions weren’t ideal. She is considering trying to rush informally after bid day. I didn’t rush so I have no clue how all of this works.

I am sorry to hear it did not go well, however I'd encourage her to stick out the process a little longer. She can always drop out at the last minute. There are too many stories of COB not working out, that I would be a bit concerned about that. My DD got dropped by all but 4 houses after the first round last year. Four. Was absolutely heartbroken and shocked. Was a very tough day and several of her friends had the same experience, some of them dropped altogether, one did do COB but not to a house that she didn't have on her initial call backlist. Thankfully the house that my DD genuinely had the best conversations with was still on the list and that is where she went. She knew nothing about this sorority, it flies under the radar a bit but she absolutely LOVES it and is loving it more and more even as she goes through rush and gets to know more of the sisters. There are 150+ girls in this house so it may take a while to find the right people, but they are there.

My DD has been passionately telling her story to the PNMs coming through, that she didn't know anything about her sorority and just went based on what was "popular" or what her friends wanted, but ultimately ended up in the right and best place for her.

These stories make me sad. I was in a sorority elsewhere and had a good experience but it was more low key as I recall. I don't think I got dropped but honestly I can not recall the whole process. I am starting to hope my daughter does not end up at a school with a large greek system. I would hate for her to be feeling this way above. Going to college is enough of a transition and I think this sounds like it could really ruin their experience.

I'm the PP whose daughter didn't get the results she wanted after the first round. The good news is that because rush is in the spring at UVA, she already has close friends that she loves (hoping the group doesn't break up after rush and gets getting into different houses). With my younger kids, timing of rush is definitely something I will suggest they consider.

I went through rush at UVA long ago and it absolutely broke up bonds that had formed among girls in my dorm during Fall semester. It really makes me kind of bummed to think back on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious how the first rounds went for girls! They got their first cuts this morning i think. My DD is in a sorority doing rush for the first time and she could not believe the arrogance of some of the PNMs coming through. One girl literally refused to give her name and said "i don't need to be here" when my DD tried to talk to her. Some of you parents have not done a good job raising your kids!

It didn’t go well for my DD (definitely not one of the arrogant kids your DD encountered). After talking to her, I think some of her responses to questions weren’t ideal. She is considering trying to rush informally after bid day. I didn’t rush so I have no clue how all of this works.

I am sorry to hear it did not go well, however I'd encourage her to stick out the process a little longer. She can always drop out at the last minute. There are too many stories of COB not working out, that I would be a bit concerned about that. My DD got dropped by all but 4 houses after the first round last year. Four. Was absolutely heartbroken and shocked. Was a very tough day and several of her friends had the same experience, some of them dropped altogether, one did do COB but not to a house that she didn't have on her initial call backlist. Thankfully the house that my DD genuinely had the best conversations with was still on the list and that is where she went. She knew nothing about this sorority, it flies under the radar a bit but she absolutely LOVES it and is loving it more and more even as she goes through rush and gets to know more of the sisters. There are 150+ girls in this house so it may take a while to find the right people, but they are there.

My DD has been passionately telling her story to the PNMs coming through, that she didn't know anything about her sorority and just went based on what was "popular" or what her friends wanted, but ultimately ended up in the right and best place for her.

Thank you for your kind reply! Unfortunately, she already withdrew before she texted me this morning. She went into the first round with a completely open mind. She didn't look into rankings or anything because she didn't want to be influenced by that. She felt like it went well and had a good connection with about half of the houses. None of those invited her back for philanthropy day. (I'm not sure how many, if any, invited her back.). She wasn't 100% in on rushing and that might have come through during the interviews. Or maybe the houses she liked just didn't like her. I think she may reach out to some of the houses (not going to bother with the top tier) and see what happens. If that doesn't work out, she may see if her friends end up someplace they like and try to get a bid next year. From what little I know, it seems to help to know someone who can vouch for you.

I am sorry to hear this, but I do understand her disappointment. As I said my DD was there last year. She really debated all day whether she should drop and she sat and talked with her friends and some of them decided to keep going, others didn't. I am 100% sure she was not dropped from all houses, that is not how it works at UVA. Its completely fair that if she didn't like the girls at the houses she had left, I get it, but I wished she'd given them at least one more chance. Best of luck to her and her friends!

I completely agree! She might have clicked with other girls in the house. Oh well, I'm sure it's good for our kids to experience disappointment sometimes (even if it's tough for their parents to see them sad).

She can certainly do COB, just know it's a very haphazard process that she will have to stay on top of.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s fine either way. If a girl stays in rush and is open minded, she will likely wind up in a house that she fits in. If she is in rush for only certain houses or bust, nothing wrong with dropping out.