Serving alcohol at teen party

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A drunk teen killed his friend, another drunk teen, in a car accident in Arlington last night. Please don't do this.

Where does the article say that the teen who was killed was drunk too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A drunk teen killed his friend, another drunk teen, in a car accident in Arlington last night. Please don't do this.

Where does the article say that the teen who was killed was drunk too?

It doesn’t say that anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't "host" a party but my son and some kids (10) came over to our home after a football game. The next day I found empty beer and truly cans. Of course, I was upset but he said they brought them.

After Halloween, a different group of friends came over to hang out. I stayed up until midnight but felt asleep. I supplied snacks, soda and water but again, the next day I found cans of beer and trulys in the trash. A few kids spent the night.

These are all seniors and according to my kid, everyone does it. If not my house, someone else's home!

OP here. This was what we expected (even though the parents said they worry supervising). We didn’t expect them to supply alcohol (and it was a lot of alcohol too).

How can you allow your kids to attend these parties? You have a responsibility to your children to keep them safe. You are condoning their underage drinking by turning a blind eye. You think it is better that the kids supply their own alcohol rather than the parents? Don't you think this is equally as bad? You people disgust me.

So we expected the parents to supervise until they went to bed and that supervision meant no drinking. We expected teens to try and sneak alcohol, especially when parents went to bed (even tho they told us they would supervise all night). We did not expect the parents to supply a large quantity of alcohol.

We also talked to our child about our expectations and about all of the risks of drinking.

Why did you expect that teens would try to sneak alcohol and drink? And when you spoke with your child about your expectations, were those expectations that they would drink?

If so, I'm surprised that you convey that expectation to your child. I expect that my teens do not drink and make that expectation clear to them. A majority of teens do not drink. Studies show that we have far more influence than many parents believe.

"Parental expectations of adolescent alcohol use significantly moderated all structural relationships, and greater parental disapproval was associated with less involvement with friends and peers who use alcohol, less peer influence to use alcohol, greater self-efficacy for avoiding alcohol use, and lower subsequent alcohol use and related problems."

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15963903/

Establish your expectations and model responsible alcohol consumption, and your teens will follow suit. Expect that they will drink, and they will.

Look, I’m not the one who served alcohol. I thought my kid was going to a party that would be supervised. I didn’t know the parents so we called and asked. I was concerned that there might be drinking because I know that teens drink.

I’m really surprised that you are attacking my parenting.

Yes, and you wrote above that you expected that the kids would try to drink. Why did you expect that?

Not PP but are you that dumb? Why would any parent NOT expect or think that their older teen goes to a party and not try to sneak in a drink. OP said the parents at the party supplied the alcohol! Not uncommon!

Not common in my world. I bet you live in a W school catchment.

When my kids go to parties, I connect with the parents to verify they'll be home and I expect my kids not to drink because they are underage and it's illegal. And you know what? They don't!

DP. We are zoned to a W cluster school. I fall in the camp of "turn them in" posters.

What is a W cluster school? please educate me. I live in VA suburbs.

W cluster = the richer schools in moco. Completely irrelevant to the conversation but it's always a good time to cla you live near a goodish school (the Ws aren't the best nor are they much better than the rest).

FTFY.

-W school alum, who couldn’t be paid to send her kids there

It’s actually not irrelevant, because wealthier teens are more likely to use alcohol and cannabis than less wealthy ones: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3410945/

+1

Not coincidentally, in MoCo these stories about teenagers, drinking, and indulgent parents come straight outta Bethesda and Potomac.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A drunk teen killed his friend, another drunk teen, in a car accident in Arlington last night. Please don't do this.

Where does the article say that the teen who was killed was drunk too?

It doesn’t say that anywhere.

Because he wasn’t. And he didn’t know the teens in the speeding SUV. Please stop torturing the family with lies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't/wouldn't serve alcohol to teens. Ever.

I know many do it, and I disagree with the practice, even though I drink on a regular basis as an adult (responsibly).

Why do parents do this?

According to my BIL, they are going to do it anyways, so he wants to provide a safe place for them to drink, and to build tolerance before college.

That is just dumb. The longer a teen waits to start drinking, the better for their brain. Plus the parents can get sued and lose their home if anything happens.

The parents can also go to prison.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s incomprehensible.

The potential legal liability alone…

If that were statistically relevant, it would make the news often.

But it doesn’t.

Unfortunatley it only makes the news when someone is killed.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/teen-driver-in-deadly-maryland-crash-pleads-guilty/2016/04/08/05c297be-fda2-11e5-9140-e61d062438bb_story.html

The Wootton case has focused sharp attention on teen drinking parties and a parent culture that appears to condone them. A bill advancing in Annapolis would increase penalties, including jail time, for adults who host such parties. Lawmakers were expected to take it up Saturday.

Kenneth Saltzman, the father of the teenager who hosted the party preceding the crash, pleaded guilty to two criminal citations for allowing underage drinking at his home and was ordered to pay a $5,000 fine, the maximum.

The liquor lobby fights fiercely against any consequences for adults who provide alcohol to children. What has David Trone done about this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes survey is always flawed. More importantly look at rate of alcoholism vs age tonstart drinking in other countries. US starts the latest yet has one of the highest rates of alcoholism aside from Russia and Russian formers like Belarus. European countries that allow earlier drinking have less problems with alcoholism.

You've certainly never been to the UK with kids vomiting on the streets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s incomprehensible.

The potential legal liability alone…

If that were statistically relevant, it would make the news often.

But it doesn’t.

Unfortunatley it only makes the news when someone is killed.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/teen-driver-in-deadly-maryland-crash-pleads-guilty/2016/04/08/05c297be-fda2-11e5-9140-e61d062438bb_story.html

The Wootton case has focused sharp attention on teen drinking parties and a parent culture that appears to condone them. A bill advancing in Annapolis would increase penalties, including jail time, for adults who host such parties. Lawmakers were expected to take it up Saturday.

Kenneth Saltzman, the father of the teenager who hosted the party preceding the crash, pleaded guilty to two criminal citations for allowing underage drinking at his home and was ordered to pay a $5,000 fine, the maximum.

The liquor lobby fights fiercely against any consequences for adults who provide alcohol to children. What has David Trone done about this?

The father was ordered to pay $5000? For two young lives lost. This is awful. It's important to start turning these people in before the tragedies occur. We shouldn't tolerate such poor decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you or would you serve alcohol at a teen party? My HS kid went to a large party recently where there was lots of drinking which was supplied by the parents. We actually called the parents beforehand and asked if they would be supervising and they said they would supervise all night. We didn’t ask (and they didn’t offer) that they had purchased alcohol and everyone would be drinking. We did know/expect that there would likely be drinking but I’m surprised that the parents supplied it.

I guess we are naive.

I grew up in outside of the US, sipping wine and beer from my parents as a teenager. My teens will have a glass of beer or wine when with family elsewhere, but not here. I'd never serve alcohol to teens in the US and discourage mine from drinking here. Definitely a strange American thing but not worth stressing about right now. I'll never understand why Americans insist on drinking and driving. I'm old and wouldn't even think about driving after anything more than a glass of wine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s incomprehensible.

The potential legal liability alone…

If that were statistically relevant, it would make the news often.

But it doesn’t.

Unfortunatley it only makes the news when someone is killed.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/teen-driver-in-deadly-maryland-crash-pleads-guilty/2016/04/08/05c297be-fda2-11e5-9140-e61d062438bb_story.html

The Wootton case has focused sharp attention on teen drinking parties and a parent culture that appears to condone them. A bill advancing in Annapolis would increase penalties, including jail time, for adults who host such parties. Lawmakers were expected to take it up Saturday.

Kenneth Saltzman, the father of the teenager who hosted the party preceding the crash, pleaded guilty to two criminal citations for allowing underage drinking at his home and was ordered to pay a $5,000 fine, the maximum.

The liquor lobby fights fiercely against any consequences for adults who provide alcohol to children. What has David Trone done about this?

The father was ordered to pay $5000? For two young lives lost. This is awful. It's important to start turning these people in before the tragedies occur. We shouldn't tolerate such poor decisions.

Agree it’s outrageous that Saltzman was ordered to pay $5k. He took the initiative to facilitate what kids will do anyway, while MoCo like so many other places just bans kids from bars and liquor stores and thinks just saying no is enough.

When you just tell your kid don’t drink, think about what that means. Who are the kids who don’t drink? I’ll tell you. The boys playing D&D on Saturday night because they can’t get dates. The girls still doing Girl Scouts senior year because they can’t dream of doing competitive cheer or joining a sorority. That’s who you leave for your kid to “befriend” if you force them to say no ANYTIME there’s alcohol around.

Just like college. Just like law school. Just like the firm. You have to learn how to get along, and you start learning that as kids. Unfortunately in scapegoating Mr. Saltzman the rest of MoCo blows off their responsibility to make their kids work hard, play hard and succeed hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes survey is always flawed. More importantly look at rate of alcoholism vs age tonstart drinking in other countries. US starts the latest yet has one of the highest rates of alcoholism aside from Russia and Russian formers like Belarus. European countries that allow earlier drinking have less problems with alcoholism.

You've certainly never been to the UK with kids vomiting on the streets.

This is one more strange American habit. To think one instance makes a good argument t of persuasive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s incomprehensible.

The potential legal liability alone…

If that were statistically relevant, it would make the news often.

But it doesn’t.

Unfortunatley it only makes the news when someone is killed.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/teen-driver-in-deadly-maryland-crash-pleads-guilty/2016/04/08/05c297be-fda2-11e5-9140-e61d062438bb_story.html

The Wootton case has focused sharp attention on teen drinking parties and a parent culture that appears to condone them. A bill advancing in Annapolis would increase penalties, including jail time, for adults who host such parties. Lawmakers were expected to take it up Saturday.

Kenneth Saltzman, the father of the teenager who hosted the party preceding the crash, pleaded guilty to two criminal citations for allowing underage drinking at his home and was ordered to pay a $5,000 fine, the maximum.

The liquor lobby fights fiercely against any consequences for adults who provide alcohol to children. What has David Trone done about this?

The father was ordered to pay $5000? For two young lives lost. This is awful. It's important to start turning these people in before the tragedies occur. We shouldn't tolerate such poor decisions.

Agree it’s outrageous that Saltzman was ordered to pay $5k. He took the initiative to facilitate what kids will do anyway, while MoCo like so many other places just bans kids from bars and liquor stores and thinks just saying no is enough.

When you just tell your kid don’t drink, think about what that means. Who are the kids who don’t drink? I’ll tell you. The boys playing D&D on Saturday night because they can’t get dates. The girls still doing Girl Scouts senior year because they can’t dream of doing competitive cheer or joining a sorority. That’s who you leave for your kid to “befriend” if you force them to say no ANYTIME there’s alcohol around.

Just like college. Just like law school. Just like the firm. You have to learn how to get along, and you start learning that as kids. Unfortunately in scapegoating Mr. Saltzman the rest of MoCo blows off their responsibility to make their kids work hard, play hard and succeed hard.

I'm kind of dumbstruck by the stupidity of this comment given that NONE of the research supports it. It's just your (strange) philosophy which apparently includes competitive cheerleading and sorority membership as #lifegoals.

Facts (all of which are supported by actual research:

*A majority of teenagers do not in fact drink.

*The earlier a person starts to drink, the higher s/he is to develop alcohol abuse. Teens who start drinking before age 15 years are 5 times more likely to develop alcohol dependence or abuse later in life than those who begin drinking at or after the legal age of 21.

*Teens who drink heavily are three times more likely to try and hurt themselves (self-harm, attempt suicide etc.) than those who don't. They are also far more likely to have school problems, such as higher rates of absences or lower grades; social problems, such as fighting or lack of participation in youth activities; legal problems, such as arrest for driving or physically hurting someone while drunk; unwanted, unplanned, and unprotected sexual activity; alcohol-related motor vehicle crashes and other unintentional injuries; memory problems; and changes in brain development that may have life-long effects.

*Parents have enormous influence over whether and how their teenagers drink, and authoritative parenting has been shown to be a highly effective prophylactic against teenage alcohol consumption. Even without actually providing alcohol to their child, parents can play a role by setting the environmental context in which drinking might occur.

*Research has consistently shown that indirect parental influences (e.g., permissiveness of drinking) are associated with increased drinking, heavy episodic drinking, and negative alcohol-related consequences for teenagers. As levels of parental restrictiveness and supervision regarding supervised alcohol use increased, adolescent alcohol use decreased or was less likely to occur.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not. Would consider reporting such parents.

One of our neighbors is like 150 years old and is the unofficial, self appointed "mayor" of the street.

She called the police on a big teen party where she suspected "alcoholic beverages were were possessed by MINORS!" Sure the police broke up the party.

But weeks later, she told us how she kept calling the local police, demanding an update on their "investigation," who the prime suspects were in supplying the alcohol, and if they had anyone in custody yet. It was comical to listen to.

Go ahead, PP, and "report those parents."

Rolling eyes? You do that for dead teens? I hope the police never arrive at your door after a bad teen accident. And if you are the server, yes, I surely hope your neighbors call 911 and report you.

I would report her for sure. I would also publicize that she provided underage kids with alcohol to humiliate her publicly. I would do whatever I could to make sure she suffered severe consequences within the law. It’s people like her who make our world a worse place.

Your neighbors are already sick of your histrionics and you clearly don't have any friends so who are you going to tell? your cat collection?

This is the best "burn" retort I've seen in days. Well done!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s incomprehensible.

The potential legal liability alone…

If that were statistically relevant, it would make the news often.

But it doesn’t.

Unfortunatley it only makes the news when someone is killed.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/teen-driver-in-deadly-maryland-crash-pleads-guilty/2016/04/08/05c297be-fda2-11e5-9140-e61d062438bb_story.html

The Wootton case has focused sharp attention on teen drinking parties and a parent culture that appears to condone them. A bill advancing in Annapolis would increase penalties, including jail time, for adults who host such parties. Lawmakers were expected to take it up Saturday.

Kenneth Saltzman, the father of the teenager who hosted the party preceding the crash, pleaded guilty to two criminal citations for allowing underage drinking at his home and was ordered to pay a $5,000 fine, the maximum.

The liquor lobby fights fiercely against any consequences for adults who provide alcohol to children. What has David Trone done about this?

The father was ordered to pay $5000? For two young lives lost. This is awful. It's important to start turning these people in before the tragedies occur. We shouldn't tolerate such poor decisions.

Agree it’s outrageous that Saltzman was ordered to pay $5k. He took the initiative to facilitate what kids will do anyway, while MoCo like so many other places just bans kids from bars and liquor stores and thinks just saying no is enough.

When you just tell your kid don’t drink, think about what that means. Who are the kids who don’t drink? I’ll tell you. The boys playing D&D on Saturday night because they can’t get dates. The girls still doing Girl Scouts senior year because they can’t dream of doing competitive cheer or joining a sorority. That’s who you leave for your kid to “befriend” if you force them to say no ANYTIME there’s alcohol around.

Just like college. Just like law school. Just like the firm. You have to learn how to get along, and you start learning that as kids. Unfortunately in scapegoating Mr. Saltzman the rest of MoCo blows off their responsibility to make their kids work hard, play hard and succeed hard.

OMG. Is this written by a southern cheer mom (nerd) living vicariously through her daughter? LOL Signed former varsity athlete and sorority member.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s incomprehensible.

The potential legal liability alone…

If that were statistically relevant, it would make the news often.

But it doesn’t.

Unfortunatley it only makes the news when someone is killed.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/teen-driver-in-deadly-maryland-crash-pleads-guilty/2016/04/08/05c297be-fda2-11e5-9140-e61d062438bb_story.html

The Wootton case has focused sharp attention on teen drinking parties and a parent culture that appears to condone them. A bill advancing in Annapolis would increase penalties, including jail time, for adults who host such parties. Lawmakers were expected to take it up Saturday.

Kenneth Saltzman, the father of the teenager who hosted the party preceding the crash, pleaded guilty to two criminal citations for allowing underage drinking at his home and was ordered to pay a $5,000 fine, the maximum.

The liquor lobby fights fiercely against any consequences for adults who provide alcohol to children. What has David Trone done about this?

The father was ordered to pay $5000? For two young lives lost. This is awful. It's important to start turning these people in before the tragedies occur. We shouldn't tolerate such poor decisions.

Agree it’s outrageous that Saltzman was ordered to pay $5k. He took the initiative to facilitate what kids will do anyway, while MoCo like so many other places just bans kids from bars and liquor stores and thinks just saying no is enough.

When you just tell your kid don’t drink, think about what that means. Who are the kids who don’t drink? I’ll tell you. The boys playing D&D on Saturday night because they can’t get dates. The girls still doing Girl Scouts senior year because they can’t dream of doing competitive cheer or joining a sorority. That’s who you leave for your kid to “befriend” if you force them to say no ANYTIME there’s alcohol around.

Just like college. Just like law school. Just like the firm. You have to learn how to get along, and you start learning that as kids. Unfortunately in scapegoating Mr. Saltzman the rest of MoCo blows off their responsibility to make their kids work hard, play hard and succeed hard.

Wow. Competitive cheer and joining a sorority????? I am actually laughing out loud.