Thoughts on families with expensive houses and cars who send kids to public school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I send my kids to public schools because the kids are more competitive there, and I like that.

+1. I think the public schools in the DMV suburbs are better than the private schools for what I’m looking for re: education for my kids. YMMV.

Former teacher: overall, you’ll get a better education in public school in this area, especially in math.

My guess is the OP sends her kids to private and thinks private is far superior. She’s 100% wrong. I saw dozens and dozens of kids come from private to public, including being a part of team meetings where these kids were discussed. Almost all had gaps in their knowledge.

+2, here is Austin public schools are better than Private. Most UMC folks I know send their kids to public with no expenses spared for enrichment activities ( tutoring, top notch camps, 1:1 private lessons for music, sports). They also have some sort of household help, so kids don't have to spend a ton of their spare time helping with mowing, household chores etc and can actually spend time on academic and extra-curriculars. Some chores are required in our home, but I find their time is better spent on studying for math competitions and piano practice. With 1:1 tutoring, kids don't have to follow school curriculum so they can delve into their areas of interest.

And we spend quite a bit of time with our kids making sure they are engaged in school, help them when needed when they are stuck in math or provide personal feedback on their essays. Especially if the Public school teacher is not able to provide individualized feedback.

And yes we take mid priced vacations to Europe/Caribbean every year. HHI: ~700K and our home is $1.5M (on the higher side for Austin) and yes we do have two Tesla's! Save a ton for retirement and 529. Mid 40's

I don't dispute any of the above, but my experience has been the exact opposite.

For me, my siblings, and my kids, even very well-regarded publics have been fair/good but never exceptional, whereas the top privates have been truly extraordinary.

I attended a private (not in DMV) where ~20% of the graduating class attended an Ivy or the equivalent. Life-changing for me to experience that academic rigor and be part of a cohort with those abilities and aspirations.

We sent our kids to top-performing DMV publics for ES and were deeply disappointed. Switched to private and found much more academic rigor and challenge.

How many of those matriculating ivies were legacies though? Part of what makes privates extraordinary is the amount of wealthy, well connected families. I say this as a private school alum. No doubt that private schools are a smaller, well-funded environment but the Ivy League matriculation statistic doesn’t say much besides “money.”

This. And I’m pretty sure my excellent public, free high school sent 20% of its graduating class to Ivys or the equivalent. The difference was probably more in the middle tier of students, who went to state colleges from my school, but would have bought their way into a SLAC from a fancy private. The truth is - the most utility for fancy privates is for mediocre students.

PP here. There’s some truth to this, but I’d add a little nuance.

My sister attended a v good public and went on to a state school. The public HS allowed her to “coast” bc she was neither extraordinary nor struggling.

She never would have gotten away with that at the private that I attended. They would have pushed her hard (and the more ambitious peer group would have made a difference as well).

I think private would have changed her outcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll be honest. I look down upon them for having their priorities wrong, in most cases, dependant upon the area in which they live.

For all the judgey-McJudgeys: can you please make a list of the clothes you wear and the food you eat so we can similarly demonstrate where YOUR priorities are wrong?

In the words of Will Smith (yes that Will Smith) from Fresh Prince of Bel Air: MIND YA BUSINESS.

I couldn’t spend $40k/year on clothes if I tried!!

I'm sure I could find a way to spend $40K on clothing... but instead I maybe spend a few hundred, some years maybe more.

And, I shop at Aldi, Lidl and Amazon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I send my kids to public schools because the kids are more competitive there, and I like that.

+1. I think the public schools in the DMV suburbs are better than the private schools for what I’m looking for re: education for my kids. YMMV.

Former teacher: overall, you’ll get a better education in public school in this area, especially in math.

My guess is the OP sends her kids to private and thinks private is far superior. She’s 100% wrong. I saw dozens and dozens of kids come from private to public, including being a part of team meetings where these kids were discussed. Almost all had gaps in their knowledge.

+2, here is Austin public schools are better than Private. Most UMC folks I know send their kids to public with no expenses spared for enrichment activities ( tutoring, top notch camps, 1:1 private lessons for music, sports). They also have some sort of household help, so kids don't have to spend a ton of their spare time helping with mowing, household chores etc and can actually spend time on academic and extra-curriculars. Some chores are required in our home, but I find their time is better spent on studying for math competitions and piano practice. With 1:1 tutoring, kids don't have to follow school curriculum so they can delve into their areas of interest.

And we spend quite a bit of time with our kids making sure they are engaged in school, help them when needed when they are stuck in math or provide personal feedback on their essays. Especially if the Public school teacher is not able to provide individualized feedback.

And yes we take mid priced vacations to Europe/Caribbean every year. HHI: ~700K and our home is $1.5M (on the higher side for Austin) and yes we do have two Tesla's! Save a ton for retirement and 529. Mid 40's

I don't dispute any of the above, but my experience has been the exact opposite.

For me, my siblings, and my kids, even very well-regarded publics have been fair/good but never exceptional, whereas the top privates have been truly extraordinary.

I attended a private (not in DMV) where ~20% of the graduating class attended an Ivy or the equivalent. Life-changing for me to experience that academic rigor and be part of a cohort with those abilities and aspirations.

We sent our kids to top-performing DMV publics for ES and were deeply disappointed. Switched to private and found much more academic rigor and challenge.

How many of those matriculating ivies were legacies though? Part of what makes privates extraordinary is the amount of wealthy, well connected families. I say this as a private school alum. No doubt that private schools are a smaller, well-funded environment but the Ivy League matriculation statistic doesn’t say much besides “money.”

This. I came from nothing, attended public schools, and did just fine. If one of my kids struggles, I will pull them out of public school immediately. Until then, my kids will be attending our local schools.

The Austin poster above, we are immigrants from Asia, our private schools in my home country (no good publics) had ~50-60 students per class, yes even in elementary and middle. Hubby and I did fine and while I would love having a higher teacher/student ratio, honestly it wasn't a deal breaker for us. We went to top colleges in our country and came to US for our graduate studies (on study loans). The current big tech that I work has people from Ivy's and non-Ivy's. When considered for promotions, what matters is impact, adaptability, hard work and of course networking skills.. I try and make sure my kids understand the value of these skills, after that, if they get into an Ivy then good, if not, then also I know they will be okay as they have the skills to be successful. As an Asian kid, getting into a Top STEM college anyways is very hard and I don't want them to kill themselves trying to get in.

[Anonymous]

IEP. Counseled out of expensive private early on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I send my kids to public schools because the kids are more competitive there, and I like that.

+1. I think the public schools in the DMV suburbs are better than the private schools for what I’m looking for re: education for my kids. YMMV.

Former teacher: overall, you’ll get a better education in public school in this area, especially in math.

My guess is the OP sends her kids to private and thinks private is far superior. She’s 100% wrong. I saw dozens and dozens of kids come from private to public, including being a part of team meetings where these kids were discussed. Almost all had gaps in their knowledge.

+2, here is Austin public schools are better than Private. Most UMC folks I know send their kids to public with no expenses spared for enrichment activities ( tutoring, top notch camps, 1:1 private lessons for music, sports). They also have some sort of household help, so kids don't have to spend a ton of their spare time helping with mowing, household chores etc and can actually spend time on academic and extra-curriculars. Some chores are required in our home, but I find their time is better spent on studying for math competitions and piano practice. With 1:1 tutoring, kids don't have to follow school curriculum so they can delve into their areas of interest.

And we spend quite a bit of time with our kids making sure they are engaged in school, help them when needed when they are stuck in math or provide personal feedback on their essays. Especially if the Public school teacher is not able to provide individualized feedback.

And yes we take mid priced vacations to Europe/Caribbean every year. HHI: ~700K and our home is $1.5M (on the higher side for Austin) and yes we do have two Tesla's! Save a ton for retirement and 529. Mid 40's

I don't dispute any of the above, but my experience has been the exact opposite.

For me, my siblings, and my kids, even very well-regarded publics have been fair/good but never exceptional, whereas the top privates have been truly extraordinary.

I attended a private (not in DMV) where ~20% of the graduating class attended an Ivy or the equivalent. Life-changing for me to experience that academic rigor and be part of a cohort with those abilities and aspirations.

We sent our kids to top-performing DMV publics for ES and were deeply disappointed. Switched to private and found much more academic rigor and challenge.

How many of those matriculating ivies were legacies though? Part of what makes privates extraordinary is the amount of wealthy, well connected families. I say this as a private school alum. No doubt that private schools are a smaller, well-funded environment but the Ivy League matriculation statistic doesn’t say much besides “money.”

PP here. Very few were Ivy legacies (HS was in the Midwest).

Wealthy, yes. Sufficiently connected to get an edge in Ivy admissions? Not even close.

The school’s advantage lay in uniformly high expectations/standards and in having resources to support those standards.

Lies*

[Anonymous]

Private schools have their problems too. I can afford to send my kids there, and I will if they are struggling in public, but don't fool yourself. Private schools have entitled kids, insular social groups, wealth-flaunting, bullies who are the children of big donors, etc. The academics may or may not be better than public, depending on the private in question and the strength of your local public.

There are no perfect options. Paying for something doesn't always mean it's better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I send my kids to public schools because the kids are more competitive there, and I like that.

+1. I think the public schools in the DMV suburbs are better than the private schools for what I’m looking for re: education for my kids. YMMV.

Former teacher: overall, you’ll get a better education in public school in this area, especially in math.

My guess is the OP sends her kids to private and thinks private is far superior. She’s 100% wrong. I saw dozens and dozens of kids come from private to public, including being a part of team meetings where these kids were discussed. Almost all had gaps in their knowledge.

+2, here is Austin public schools are better than Private. Most UMC folks I know send their kids to public with no expenses spared for enrichment activities ( tutoring, top notch camps, 1:1 private lessons for music, sports). They also have some sort of household help, so kids don't have to spend a ton of their spare time helping with mowing, household chores etc and can actually spend time on academic and extra-curriculars. Some chores are required in our home, but I find their time is better spent on studying for math competitions and piano practice. With 1:1 tutoring, kids don't have to follow school curriculum so they can delve into their areas of interest.

And we spend quite a bit of time with our kids making sure they are engaged in school, help them when needed when they are stuck in math or provide personal feedback on their essays. Especially if the Public school teacher is not able to provide individualized feedback.

And yes we take mid priced vacations to Europe/Caribbean every year. HHI: ~700K and our home is $1.5M (on the higher side for Austin) and yes we do have two Tesla's! Save a ton for retirement and 529. Mid 40's

I don't dispute any of the above, but my experience has been the exact opposite.

For me, my siblings, and my kids, even very well-regarded publics have been fair/good but never exceptional, whereas the top privates have been truly extraordinary.

I attended a private (not in DMV) where ~20% of the graduating class attended an Ivy or the equivalent. Life-changing for me to experience that academic rigor and be part of a cohort with those abilities and aspirations.

We sent our kids to top-performing DMV publics for ES and were deeply disappointed. Switched to private and found much more academic rigor and challenge.

How many of those matriculating ivies were legacies though? Part of what makes privates extraordinary is the amount of wealthy, well connected families. I say this as a private school alum. No doubt that private schools are a smaller, well-funded environment but the Ivy League matriculation statistic doesn’t say much besides “money.”

This. And I’m pretty sure my excellent public, free high school sent 20% of its graduating class to Ivys or the equivalent. The difference was probably more in the middle tier of students, who went to state colleges from my school, but would have bought their way into a SLAC from a fancy private. The truth is - the most utility for fancy privates is for mediocre students.

PP here. There’s some truth to this, but I’d add a little nuance.

My sister attended a v good public and went on to a state school. The public HS allowed her to “coast” bc she was neither extraordinary nor struggling.

She never would have gotten away with that at the private that I attended. They would have pushed her hard (and the more ambitious peer group would have made a difference as well).

I think private would have changed her outcome.

I think it's more about parent involvement. We have been very involved parents, so no coasting for kids in public schools. If you truly want to outsource kids education to a school, then perhaps private school is better. No one knows my kid better than me. No one else, regardless of how much I pay them, would be as invested as me in my kids success and well being. But if your kid is the top of every class in public school and is learning nothing (in school or outside in enrichment activities) then perhaps it's time to consider a private school. This is only for neurotypical kids, I do understand some kids do have special needs which may not be academic related.

I am not sure why only schools are held accountable for "pushing" the students, the parents have much more influence and can do a better job at "pushing" if they want to.

[Anonymous]

Private is not always better than public. So the only person I’m judging here is you, for blind stupidity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I send my kids to public schools because the kids are more competitive there, and I like that.

+1. I think the public schools in the DMV suburbs are better than the private schools for what I’m looking for re: education for my kids. YMMV.

Former teacher: overall, you’ll get a better education in public school in this area, especially in math.

My guess is the OP sends her kids to private and thinks private is far superior. She’s 100% wrong. I saw dozens and dozens of kids come from private to public, including being a part of team meetings where these kids were discussed. Almost all had gaps in their knowledge.

+2, here is Austin public schools are better than Private. Most UMC folks I know send their kids to public with no expenses spared for enrichment activities ( tutoring, top notch camps, 1:1 private lessons for music, sports). They also have some sort of household help, so kids don't have to spend a ton of their spare time helping with mowing, household chores etc and can actually spend time on academic and extra-curriculars. Some chores are required in our home, but I find their time is better spent on studying for math competitions and piano practice. With 1:1 tutoring, kids don't have to follow school curriculum so they can delve into their areas of interest.

And we spend quite a bit of time with our kids making sure they are engaged in school, help them when needed when they are stuck in math or provide personal feedback on their essays. Especially if the Public school teacher is not able to provide individualized feedback.

And yes we take mid priced vacations to Europe/Caribbean every year. HHI: ~700K and our home is $1.5M (on the higher side for Austin) and yes we do have two Tesla's! Save a ton for retirement and 529. Mid 40's

I don't dispute any of the above, but my experience has been the exact opposite.

For me, my siblings, and my kids, even very well-regarded publics have been fair/good but never exceptional, whereas the top privates have been truly extraordinary.

I attended a private (not in DMV) where ~20% of the graduating class attended an Ivy or the equivalent. Life-changing for me to experience that academic rigor and be part of a cohort with those abilities and aspirations.

We sent our kids to top-performing DMV publics for ES and were deeply disappointed. Switched to private and found much more academic rigor and challenge.

How many of those matriculating ivies were legacies though? Part of what makes privates extraordinary is the amount of wealthy, well connected families. I say this as a private school alum. No doubt that private schools are a smaller, well-funded environment but the Ivy League matriculation statistic doesn’t say much besides “money.”

PP here. Very few were Ivy legacies (HS was in the Midwest).

Wealthy, yes. Sufficiently connected to get an edge in Ivy admissions? Not even close.

The school’s advantage lay in uniformly high expectations/standards and in having resources to support those standards.

Lies*

If you think that I care enough about this topic to lie, you’re sorely mistaken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I send my kids to public schools because the kids are more competitive there, and I like that.

+1. I think the public schools in the DMV suburbs are better than the private schools for what I’m looking for re: education for my kids. YMMV.

Former teacher: overall, you’ll get a better education in public school in this area, especially in math.

My guess is the OP sends her kids to private and thinks private is far superior. She’s 100% wrong. I saw dozens and dozens of kids come from private to public, including being a part of team meetings where these kids were discussed. Almost all had gaps in their knowledge.

+2, here is Austin public schools are better than Private. Most UMC folks I know send their kids to public with no expenses spared for enrichment activities ( tutoring, top notch camps, 1:1 private lessons for music, sports). They also have some sort of household help, so kids don't have to spend a ton of their spare time helping with mowing, household chores etc and can actually spend time on academic and extra-curriculars. Some chores are required in our home, but I find their time is better spent on studying for math competitions and piano practice. With 1:1 tutoring, kids don't have to follow school curriculum so they can delve into their areas of interest.

And we spend quite a bit of time with our kids making sure they are engaged in school, help them when needed when they are stuck in math or provide personal feedback on their essays. Especially if the Public school teacher is not able to provide individualized feedback.

And yes we take mid priced vacations to Europe/Caribbean every year. HHI: ~700K and our home is $1.5M (on the higher side for Austin) and yes we do have two Tesla's! Save a ton for retirement and 529. Mid 40's

I don't dispute any of the above, but my experience has been the exact opposite.

For me, my siblings, and my kids, even very well-regarded publics have been fair/good but never exceptional, whereas the top privates have been truly extraordinary.

I attended a private (not in DMV) where ~20% of the graduating class attended an Ivy or the equivalent. Life-changing for me to experience that academic rigor and be part of a cohort with those abilities and aspirations.

We sent our kids to top-performing DMV publics for ES and were deeply disappointed. Switched to private and found much more academic rigor and challenge.

How many of those matriculating ivies were legacies though? Part of what makes privates extraordinary is the amount of wealthy, well connected families. I say this as a private school alum. No doubt that private schools are a smaller, well-funded environment but the Ivy League matriculation statistic doesn’t say much besides “money.”

PP here. Very few were Ivy legacies (HS was in the Midwest).

Wealthy, yes. Sufficiently connected to get an edge in Ivy admissions? Not even close.

The school’s advantage lay in uniformly high expectations/standards and in having resources to support those standards.

Whatever you tell yourself.

It’s more about the facts than what I tell myself.

For example, our valedictorian graduated with a 92 cumulative GPA (A-).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I send my kids to public schools because the kids are more competitive there, and I like that.

+1. I think the public schools in the DMV suburbs are better than the private schools for what I’m looking for re: education for my kids. YMMV.

Former teacher: overall, you’ll get a better education in public school in this area, especially in math.

My guess is the OP sends her kids to private and thinks private is far superior. She’s 100% wrong. I saw dozens and dozens of kids come from private to public, including being a part of team meetings where these kids were discussed. Almost all had gaps in their knowledge.

+2, here is Austin public schools are better than Private. Most UMC folks I know send their kids to public with no expenses spared for enrichment activities ( tutoring, top notch camps, 1:1 private lessons for music, sports). They also have some sort of household help, so kids don't have to spend a ton of their spare time helping with mowing, household chores etc and can actually spend time on academic and extra-curriculars. Some chores are required in our home, but I find their time is better spent on studying for math competitions and piano practice. With 1:1 tutoring, kids don't have to follow school curriculum so they can delve into their areas of interest.

And we spend quite a bit of time with our kids making sure they are engaged in school, help them when needed when they are stuck in math or provide personal feedback on their essays. Especially if the Public school teacher is not able to provide individualized feedback.

And yes we take mid priced vacations to Europe/Caribbean every year. HHI: ~700K and our home is $1.5M (on the higher side for Austin) and yes we do have two Tesla's! Save a ton for retirement and 529. Mid 40's

I don't dispute any of the above, but my experience has been the exact opposite.

For me, my siblings, and my kids, even very well-regarded publics have been fair/good but never exceptional, whereas the top privates have been truly extraordinary.

I attended a private (not in DMV) where ~20% of the graduating class attended an Ivy or the equivalent. Life-changing for me to experience that academic rigor and be part of a cohort with those abilities and aspirations.

We sent our kids to top-performing DMV publics for ES and were deeply disappointed. Switched to private and found much more academic rigor and challenge.

How many of those matriculating ivies were legacies though? Part of what makes privates extraordinary is the amount of wealthy, well connected families. I say this as a private school alum. No doubt that private schools are a smaller, well-funded environment but the Ivy League matriculation statistic doesn’t say much besides “money.”

This. And I’m pretty sure my excellent public, free high school sent 20% of its graduating class to Ivys or the equivalent. The difference was probably more in the middle tier of students, who went to state colleges from my school, but would have bought their way into a SLAC from a fancy private. The truth is - the most utility for fancy privates is for mediocre students.

PP here. There’s some truth to this, but I’d add a little nuance.

My sister attended a v good public and went on to a state school. The public HS allowed her to “coast” bc she was neither extraordinary nor struggling.

She never would have gotten away with that at the private that I attended. They would have pushed her hard (and the more ambitious peer group would have made a difference as well).

I think private would have changed her outcome.

I think it's more about parent involvement. We have been very involved parents, so no coasting for kids in public schools. If you truly want to outsource kids education to a school, then perhaps private school is better. No one knows my kid better than me. No one else, regardless of how much I pay them, would be as invested as me in my kids success and well being. But if your kid is the top of every class in public school and is learning nothing (in school or outside in enrichment activities) then perhaps it's time to consider a private school. This is only for neurotypical kids, I do understand some kids do have special needs which may not be academic related.

I am not sure why only schools are held accountable for "pushing" the students, the parents have much more influence and can do a better job at "pushing" if they want to.

The problem with this is your kid needs to be invested in their own success and welll being. Kids who are pushed are lost when they are adults

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I send my kids to public schools because the kids are more competitive there, and I like that.

+1. I think the public schools in the DMV suburbs are better than the private schools for what I’m looking for re: education for my kids. YMMV.

Former teacher: overall, you’ll get a better education in public school in this area, especially in math.

My guess is the OP sends her kids to private and thinks private is far superior. She’s 100% wrong. I saw dozens and dozens of kids come from private to public, including being a part of team meetings where these kids were discussed. Almost all had gaps in their knowledge.

+2, here is Austin public schools are better than Private. Most UMC folks I know send their kids to public with no expenses spared for enrichment activities ( tutoring, top notch camps, 1:1 private lessons for music, sports). They also have some sort of household help, so kids don't have to spend a ton of their spare time helping with mowing, household chores etc and can actually spend time on academic and extra-curriculars. Some chores are required in our home, but I find their time is better spent on studying for math competitions and piano practice. With 1:1 tutoring, kids don't have to follow school curriculum so they can delve into their areas of interest.

And we spend quite a bit of time with our kids making sure they are engaged in school, help them when needed when they are stuck in math or provide personal feedback on their essays. Especially if the Public school teacher is not able to provide individualized feedback.

And yes we take mid priced vacations to Europe/Caribbean every year. HHI: ~700K and our home is $1.5M (on the higher side for Austin) and yes we do have two Tesla's! Save a ton for retirement and 529. Mid 40's

I don't dispute any of the above, but my experience has been the exact opposite.

For me, my siblings, and my kids, even very well-regarded publics have been fair/good but never exceptional, whereas the top privates have been truly extraordinary.

I attended a private (not in DMV) where ~20% of the graduating class attended an Ivy or the equivalent. Life-changing for me to experience that academic rigor and be part of a cohort with those abilities and aspirations.

We sent our kids to top-performing DMV publics for ES and were deeply disappointed. Switched to private and found much more academic rigor and challenge.

How many of those matriculating ivies were legacies though? Part of what makes privates extraordinary is the amount of wealthy, well connected families. I say this as a private school alum. No doubt that private schools are a smaller, well-funded environment but the Ivy League matriculation statistic doesn’t say much besides “money.”

This. And I’m pretty sure my excellent public, free high school sent 20% of its graduating class to Ivys or the equivalent. The difference was probably more in the middle tier of students, who went to state colleges from my school, but would have bought their way into a SLAC from a fancy private. The truth is - the most utility for fancy privates is for mediocre students.

PP here. There’s some truth to this, but I’d add a little nuance.

My sister attended a v good public and went on to a state school. The public HS allowed her to “coast” bc she was neither extraordinary nor struggling.

She never would have gotten away with that at the private that I attended. They would have pushed her hard (and the more ambitious peer group would have made a difference as well).

I think private would have changed her outcome.

I think it's more about parent involvement. We have been very involved parents, so no coasting for kids in public schools. If you truly want to outsource kids education to a school, then perhaps private school is better. No one knows my kid better than me. No one else, regardless of how much I pay them, would be as invested as me in my kids success and well being. But if your kid is the top of every class in public school and is learning nothing (in school or outside in enrichment activities) then perhaps it's time to consider a private school. This is only for neurotypical kids, I do understand some kids do have special needs which may not be academic related.

I am not sure why only schools are held accountable for "pushing" the students, the parents have much more influence and can do a better job at "pushing" if they want to.

PP here. This is a great point. We didn’t have significant involvement from our parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I send my kids to public schools because the kids are more competitive there, and I like that.

+1. I think the public schools in the DMV suburbs are better than the private schools for what I’m looking for re: education for my kids. YMMV.

Former teacher: overall, you’ll get a better education in public school in this area, especially in math.

My guess is the OP sends her kids to private and thinks private is far superior. She’s 100% wrong. I saw dozens and dozens of kids come from private to public, including being a part of team meetings where these kids were discussed. Almost all had gaps in their knowledge.

+2, here is Austin public schools are better than Private. Most UMC folks I know send their kids to public with no expenses spared for enrichment activities ( tutoring, top notch camps, 1:1 private lessons for music, sports). They also have some sort of household help, so kids don't have to spend a ton of their spare time helping with mowing, household chores etc and can actually spend time on academic and extra-curriculars. Some chores are required in our home, but I find their time is better spent on studying for math competitions and piano practice. With 1:1 tutoring, kids don't have to follow school curriculum so they can delve into their areas of interest.

And we spend quite a bit of time with our kids making sure they are engaged in school, help them when needed when they are stuck in math or provide personal feedback on their essays. Especially if the Public school teacher is not able to provide individualized feedback.

And yes we take mid priced vacations to Europe/Caribbean every year. HHI: ~700K and our home is $1.5M (on the higher side for Austin) and yes we do have two Tesla's! Save a ton for retirement and 529. Mid 40's

I don't dispute any of the above, but my experience has been the exact opposite.

For me, my siblings, and my kids, even very well-regarded publics have been fair/good but never exceptional, whereas the top privates have been truly extraordinary.

I attended a private (not in DMV) where ~20% of the graduating class attended an Ivy or the equivalent. Life-changing for me to experience that academic rigor and be part of a cohort with those abilities and aspirations.

We sent our kids to top-performing DMV publics for ES and were deeply disappointed. Switched to private and found much more academic rigor and challenge.

How many of those matriculating ivies were legacies though? Part of what makes privates extraordinary is the amount of wealthy, well connected families. I say this as a private school alum. No doubt that private schools are a smaller, well-funded environment but the Ivy League matriculation statistic doesn’t say much besides “money.”

PP here. Very few were Ivy legacies (HS was in the Midwest).

Wealthy, yes. Sufficiently connected to get an edge in Ivy admissions? Not even close.

The school’s advantage lay in uniformly high expectations/standards and in having resources to support those standards.

Oh sure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I send my kids to public schools because the kids are more competitive there, and I like that.

+1. I think the public schools in the DMV suburbs are better than the private schools for what I’m looking for re: education for my kids. YMMV.

Former teacher: overall, you’ll get a better education in public school in this area, especially in math.

My guess is the OP sends her kids to private and thinks private is far superior. She’s 100% wrong. I saw dozens and dozens of kids come from private to public, including being a part of team meetings where these kids were discussed. Almost all had gaps in their knowledge.

+2, here is Austin public schools are better than Private. Most UMC folks I know send their kids to public with no expenses spared for enrichment activities ( tutoring, top notch camps, 1:1 private lessons for music, sports). They also have some sort of household help, so kids don't have to spend a ton of their spare time helping with mowing, household chores etc and can actually spend time on academic and extra-curriculars. Some chores are required in our home, but I find their time is better spent on studying for math competitions and piano practice. With 1:1 tutoring, kids don't have to follow school curriculum so they can delve into their areas of interest.

And we spend quite a bit of time with our kids making sure they are engaged in school, help them when needed when they are stuck in math or provide personal feedback on their essays. Especially if the Public school teacher is not able to provide individualized feedback.

And yes we take mid priced vacations to Europe/Caribbean every year. HHI: ~700K and our home is $1.5M (on the higher side for Austin) and yes we do have two Tesla's! Save a ton for retirement and 529. Mid 40's

I don't dispute any of the above, but my experience has been the exact opposite.

For me, my siblings, and my kids, even very well-regarded publics have been fair/good but never exceptional, whereas the top privates have been truly extraordinary.

I attended a private (not in DMV) where ~20% of the graduating class attended an Ivy or the equivalent. Life-changing for me to experience that academic rigor and be part of a cohort with those abilities and aspirations.

We sent our kids to top-performing DMV publics for ES and were deeply disappointed. Switched to private and found much more academic rigor and challenge.

How many of those matriculating ivies were legacies though? Part of what makes privates extraordinary is the amount of wealthy, well connected families. I say this as a private school alum. No doubt that private schools are a smaller, well-funded environment but the Ivy League matriculation statistic doesn’t say much besides “money.”

PP here. Very few were Ivy legacies (HS was in the Midwest).

Wealthy, yes. Sufficiently connected to get an edge in Ivy admissions? Not even close.

The school’s advantage lay in uniformly high expectations/standards and in having resources to support those standards.

Lies*

If you think that I care enough about this topic to lie, you’re sorely mistaken.

the problem is you don’t know/can’t accept what a high performing public school looks like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I send my kids to public schools because the kids are more competitive there, and I like that.

+1. I think the public schools in the DMV suburbs are better than the private schools for what I’m looking for re: education for my kids. YMMV.

Former teacher: overall, you’ll get a better education in public school in this area, especially in math.

My guess is the OP sends her kids to private and thinks private is far superior. She’s 100% wrong. I saw dozens and dozens of kids come from private to public, including being a part of team meetings where these kids were discussed. Almost all had gaps in their knowledge.

+2, here is Austin public schools are better than Private. Most UMC folks I know send their kids to public with no expenses spared for enrichment activities ( tutoring, top notch camps, 1:1 private lessons for music, sports). They also have some sort of household help, so kids don't have to spend a ton of their spare time helping with mowing, household chores etc and can actually spend time on academic and extra-curriculars. Some chores are required in our home, but I find their time is better spent on studying for math competitions and piano practice. With 1:1 tutoring, kids don't have to follow school curriculum so they can delve into their areas of interest.

And we spend quite a bit of time with our kids making sure they are engaged in school, help them when needed when they are stuck in math or provide personal feedback on their essays. Especially if the Public school teacher is not able to provide individualized feedback.

And yes we take mid priced vacations to Europe/Caribbean every year. HHI: ~700K and our home is $1.5M (on the higher side for Austin) and yes we do have two Tesla's! Save a ton for retirement and 529. Mid 40's

I don't dispute any of the above, but my experience has been the exact opposite.

For me, my siblings, and my kids, even very well-regarded publics have been fair/good but never exceptional, whereas the top privates have been truly extraordinary.

I attended a private (not in DMV) where ~20% of the graduating class attended an Ivy or the equivalent. Life-changing for me to experience that academic rigor and be part of a cohort with those abilities and aspirations.

We sent our kids to top-performing DMV publics for ES and were deeply disappointed. Switched to private and found much more academic rigor and challenge.

How many of those matriculating ivies were legacies though? Part of what makes privates extraordinary is the amount of wealthy, well connected families. I say this as a private school alum. No doubt that private schools are a smaller, well-funded environment but the Ivy League matriculation statistic doesn’t say much besides “money.”

PP here. Very few were Ivy legacies (HS was in the Midwest).

Wealthy, yes. Sufficiently connected to get an edge in Ivy admissions? Not even close.

The school’s advantage lay in uniformly high expectations/standards and in having resources to support those standards.

Lies*

If you think that I care enough about this topic to lie, you’re sorely mistaken.

the problem is you don’t know/can’t accept what a high performing public school looks like.

I’m confident that’s not the problem here.