Is marriage even worth it for women anymore?

[Anonymous]

No not at all. No point in it any more. You can save a lot of grief in life not getting married thats for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is not good for women, but probably good for children.

Men gains tons of advantages (as scientifically proven: they live longer, reduce their homemaking responsibilities, gain career advantages...not so for women).

Yeah, right, women gain no advantages from marriage. Remind me again who is obsessed with and constantly chasing marriage in their 20s and 30s – is it men or women? Strange that women would be obsessed with obtaining something that offers them no advantages – I guess you think women are just dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not good for women, but probably good for children.

Men gains tons of advantages (as scientifically proven: they live longer, reduce their homemaking responsibilities, gain career advantages...not so for women).

Yeah, right, women gain no advantages from marriage. Remind me again who is obsessed with and constantly chasing marriage in their 20s and 30s – is it men or women? Strange that women would be obsessed with obtaining something that offers them no advantages – I guess you think women are just dumb.

The responses are typical self centered dcum responses. They assume the situations they put themselves in apply to every woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not good for women, but probably good for children.

Men gains tons of advantages (as scientifically proven: they live longer, reduce their homemaking responsibilities, gain career advantages...not so for women).

Not true. 30% don't have to work. Most of the rest marry a man that significantly out earns them (outside of dcum land where everything is reversed) which significantly increases their net worth. Married women are also much less likely to be a victim of a violent crime. Married mothers are less likely to suffer from depression than single women.

This is a total crock. The statistic is that married women are less likely TO REPORT SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION. That’s totally different from less likely to experience depression. Many married women are so busy bearing the burdens of household work, child rearing and caring for the big fat baby man child who takes them for granted and cheats on them and generally treats them like crap that they simply don’t have time for self care.

The largest cohort of centenarians are never married child free women. Marriage and motherhood suck the life out of most women and most get very little gratitude from the husbands and kids they sacrificed their health and time to care for. No thanks; we only get one trip on this rock that we know of, I’d rather spend it doing what I want and giving to my community in ways that are more reliably rewarding. Have I struggled with depression at times? Sure, and it mostly stems from the experience of being a child born into the typical heteronormative/misogynistic American marriage. I wasn’t entirely sure what I wanted for my life, except that I knew I didn’t want my mother’s life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of posts on this thread mentioning “great careers”. What are you all doing that is so damn fulfilling? Life in Corporate America is a total drag. Sure, the money might be good, but typically it requires you to put your health, sanity and most of your waking hours in the meat-grinder for it.

I'm a PhD in research and LOVE my job. I hated raising my kids when they were little and my job was my sanity saver. I had our nanny working full time when I was on maternity leave with my second.

Do you think you should have had children? I would imagine that it is not great for a forming human's self esteem to find out that their parent "hated" raising them.

I also have a PhD in research, and raising my child was the most joyful and fulfilling thing I ever did. She knows that too.

NP and well, you're pretty pathetic. Not least because you're so proud of putting a huge burden on your innocent kid to be "the most joyful and fulfilling thing" in your life. Jeez, lady.

DP. That is pathetic? Getting more fulfillment out of parenthood than a career, I think is ideal for the family unit and probably a better foundation for a well-functioning society.

[Anonymous]

The studies show parents find more meaning to life than childless people. I think what people here conflate is day to day happiness vs. overall life happiness and satisfaction. Of course if you ask someone in the middle of taking care of a 2 year old if they are happy, they will rank lower than someone child-free.

Anyway, marriage is somewhat of a crapshoot. Having a good one is definitely worth it but odds are you will either divorce or have long periods where you would rather be single. Whether life is more meaningful with a good partner depends on your partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love being with my husband. Why would I want to be single when I have a great partner?

How old are you and how long have you been married? I had a great marriage for the first 16 years. It went down hill fast and then crashed and burned.

41 15 years. Our marriage has actually improved over the past couple of years.

DH realized working so much wasn't worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not good for women, but probably good for children.

Men gains tons of advantages (as scientifically proven: they live longer, reduce their homemaking responsibilities, gain career advantages...not so for women).

Not true. 30% don't have to work. Most of the rest marry a man that significantly out earns them (outside of dcum land where everything is reversed) which significantly increases their net worth. Married women are also much less likely to be a victim of a violent crime. Married mothers are less likely to suffer from depression than single women.

This is a total crock. The statistic is that married women are less likely TO REPORT SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION. That’s totally different from less likely to experience depression. Many married women are so busy bearing the burdens of household work, child rearing and caring for the big fat baby man child who takes them for granted and cheats on them and generally treats them like crap that they simply don’t have time for self care.

The largest cohort of centenarians are never married child free women. Marriage and motherhood suck the life out of most women and most get very little gratitude from the husbands and kids they sacrificed their health and time to care for. No thanks; we only get one trip on this rock that we know of, I’d rather spend it doing what I want and giving to my community in ways that are more reliably rewarding. Have I struggled with depression at times? Sure, and it mostly stems from the experience of being a child born into the typical heteronormative/misogynistic American marriage. I wasn’t entirely sure what I wanted for my life, except that I knew I didn’t want my mother’s life.

There it is. That self centered dcum response. Your experience must be every woman's experience

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not good for women, but probably good for children.

Men gains tons of advantages (as scientifically proven: they live longer, reduce their homemaking responsibilities, gain career advantages...not so for women).

Not true. 30% don't have to work. Most of the rest marry a man that significantly out earns them (outside of dcum land where everything is reversed) which significantly increases their net worth. Married women are also much less likely to be a victim of a violent crime. Married mothers are less likely to suffer from depression than single women.

This is a total crock. The statistic is that married women are less likely TO REPORT SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION. That’s totally different from less likely to experience depression. Many married women are so busy bearing the burdens of household work, child rearing and caring for the big fat baby man child who takes them for granted and cheats on them and generally treats them like crap that they simply don’t have time for self care.

The largest cohort of centenarians are never married child free women. Marriage and motherhood suck the life out of most women and most get very little gratitude from the husbands and kids they sacrificed their health and time to care for. No thanks; we only get one trip on this rock that we know of, I’d rather spend it doing what I want and giving to my community in ways that are more reliably rewarding. Have I struggled with depression at times? Sure, and it mostly stems from the experience of being a child born into the typical heteronormative/misogynistic American marriage. I wasn’t entirely sure what I wanted for my life, except that I knew I didn’t want my mother’s life.

Lol. You could use a bit of self awareness

[Anonymous]

To me, yes 100%. I can’t imagine parenting alone. My husband and is a great and very involved dad. He’s also a great husband, but I imagine if he were not I’d still fully appreciate him as a co-parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of posts on this thread mentioning “great careers”. What are you all doing that is so damn fulfilling? Life in Corporate America is a total drag. Sure, the money might be good, but typically it requires you to put your health, sanity and most of your waking hours in the meat-grinder for it.

Speak for yourself lol. I’m a corporate lawyer and I love what I do. We have to get out of this mentality that the only meaningful work is in the nonprofit sector or being a SAHP.

I also love being a mom, though I could never stay at home. I also think it’s healthy for me to maintain something of my own given that kids eventually grow up. We love to talk about how people shouldn’t put their self worth in a job, but I worry about parents who are overly dependent on identity-as-parent because I’ve seen how tough that can get when kids fly the nest, go off to college, get married etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To me, yes 100%. I can’t imagine parenting alone. My husband and is a great and very involved dad. He’s also a great husband, but I imagine if he were not I’d still fully appreciate him as a co-parent.

+1. We are a fantastic team. He makes my life better in almost every way

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not good for women, but probably good for children.

Men gains tons of advantages (as scientifically proven: they live longer, reduce their homemaking responsibilities, gain career advantages...not so for women).

Yeah, right, women gain no advantages from marriage. Remind me again who is obsessed with and constantly chasing marriage in their 20s and 30s – is it men or women? Strange that women would be obsessed with obtaining something that offers them no advantages – I guess you think women are just dumb.

The responses are typical self centered dcum responses. They assume the situations they put themselves in apply to every woman.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not good for women, but probably good for children.

Men gains tons of advantages (as scientifically proven: they live longer, reduce their homemaking responsibilities, gain career advantages...not so for women).

Yeah, right, women gain no advantages from marriage. Remind me again who is obsessed with and constantly chasing marriage in their 20s and 30s – is it men or women? Strange that women would be obsessed with obtaining something that offers them no advantages – I guess you think women are just dumb.

I worked hard to find a spouse who I thought would be a good dad and husband. He had a brain injury and became an abusive alcoholic. I very much tried to marry and then mate well, because I think that an intact two parent family is ultimately the easiest best path for kids and healthy development. I didn’t get that, but you are right- I tried to.

Now, I’m divorced and to answer the question- for me now- no, marriage would no be worth it. I won’t have more children and religion wouldn’t play into wanting to marry (ie no scruples about out of wedlock sex). I won’t ever let anyone take half my stuff again and I know that when marriage can end so painfully and insanely it isn’t anything sacred or special- relationship is what is sacred and special. I’m sure I’ll enter into a committed monogamous relationship some day, but I will not marry again.

I guess my answer has changed over my lifetime due to my experiences. You seem really angry at women- are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To me, yes 100%. I can’t imagine parenting alone. My husband and is a great and very involved dad. He’s also a great husband, but I imagine if he were not I’d still fully appreciate him as a co-parent.

With such a limited imagination you may want to get your kids some tutoring in creative thinking.

I find statements like this so……… bold in the face of fate