What income makes a man marriage material?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married my husband when he was making 80k and I 50k. We were deeply in love, with no family money on either side. We got married in 2014. It has now been 8 years since we married. We do not own a home. We do not have children. We almost got a divorce 2 years ago due to stress of not having enough to build a family life in NOVA.

I am stressed out and regretful about my choice most days. Yes, he was hot and nice, but that did not give us an income to build a suitable family life. I watched with envy as each of my friends married men making 200k, 400k and immediately were able to buy homes, have babies, build families and a family life.
I never cared about money. I thought it was silly and materialistic. Because after all, its true love and the insides that matter.

As a bitter, broke, childless mid thirties woman, I regret not caring about my prospective husband's salary.

If I were to do it again I would not date anyone who made less than 300k.

As a 26 year old woman... i appreciate your honesty.

+1 This post was refreshing to read because whenever this topic comes up, 95% of the responses are "golly gee I didn't care at all about money and I married my DH when we were young, broke and in love, and now he makes $500k teehee." We don't often hear from the people who married men who didn't make much money and still don't make much money. I think the lesson here is to make your own money and not rely on somebody else to hand you the lifestyle you want. Most high earning men (who also have other desirable qualities one looks for in a spouse) are off the market early, and if they're not, they rule the dating scene and have their pick of women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married my husband when he was making 80k and I 50k. We were deeply in love, with no family money on either side. We got married in 2014. It has now been 8 years since we married. We do not own a home. We do not have children. We almost got a divorce 2 years ago due to stress of not having enough to build a family life in NOVA.

I am stressed out and regretful about my choice most days. Yes, he was hot and nice, but that did not give us an income to build a suitable family life. I watched with envy as each of my friends married men making 200k, 400k and immediately were able to buy homes, have babies, build families and a family life.
I never cared about money. I thought it was silly and materialistic. Because after all, its true love and the insides that matter.

As a bitter, broke, childless mid thirties woman, I regret not caring about my prospective husband's salary.

If I were to do it again I would not date anyone who made less than 300k.

As a 26 year old woman... i appreciate your honesty.

+1 This post was refreshing to read because whenever this topic comes up, 95% of the responses are "golly gee I didn't care at all about money and I married my DH when we were young, broke and in love, and now he makes $500k teehee." We don't often hear from the people who married men who didn't make much money and still don't make much money. I think the lesson here is to make your own money and not rely on somebody else to hand you the lifestyle you want. Most high earning men (who also have other desirable qualities one looks for in a spouse) are off the market early, and if they're not, they rule the dating scene and have their pick of women.

How do you actually find a high earning man? Mostly am relying on apps and it’s not always obvious who is high earning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married my husband when he was making 80k and I 50k. We were deeply in love, with no family money on either side. We got married in 2014. It has now been 8 years since we married. We do not own a home. We do not have children. We almost got a divorce 2 years ago due to stress of not having enough to build a family life in NOVA.

I am stressed out and regretful about my choice most days. Yes, he was hot and nice, but that did not give us an income to build a suitable family life. I watched with envy as each of my friends married men making 200k, 400k and immediately were able to buy homes, have babies, build families and a family life.
I never cared about money. I thought it was silly and materialistic. Because after all, its true love and the insides that matter.

As a bitter, broke, childless mid thirties woman, I regret not caring about my prospective husband's salary.

If I were to do it again I would not date anyone who made less than 300k.

As a 26 year old woman... i appreciate your honesty.

+1 This post was refreshing to read because whenever this topic comes up, 95% of the responses are "golly gee I didn't care at all about money and I married my DH when we were young, broke and in love, and now he makes $500k teehee." We don't often hear from the people who married men who didn't make much money and still don't make much money. I think the lesson here is to make your own money and not rely on somebody else to hand you the lifestyle you want. Most high earning men (who also have other desirable qualities one looks for in a spouse) are off the market early, and if they're not, they rule the dating scene and have their pick of women.

How do you actually find a high earning man? Mostly am relying on apps and it’s not always obvious who is high earning.

It really depends on how old you are. The women I know who married rich men were pretty certain and determined to do so. They specifically targeted and only accepted dates from men who displayed the following:

- Background in or interest in certain careers: finance, engineering, management consulting or law. The men they accepted dates from needed to have either a career in these fields or if they were younger, in graduate school for these.
- Came from affluent backgrounds. Raised in Great Falls, McLean or wealthier parts of Fairfax
- Displayed certain class indicators: dressing in a conservative preppy fashion or its urban equivalent, living in Clarendon in an expensive condo, drove a european car, took them on multiple trips in a year, gifted them expensive jewelry for special occasions

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married my husband when he was making 80k and I 50k. We were deeply in love, with no family money on either side. We got married in 2014. It has now been 8 years since we married. We do not own a home. We do not have children. We almost got a divorce 2 years ago due to stress of not having enough to build a family life in NOVA.

I am stressed out and regretful about my choice most days. Yes, he was hot and nice, but that did not give us an income to build a suitable family life. I watched with envy as each of my friends married men making 200k, 400k and immediately were able to buy homes, have babies, build families and a family life.
I never cared about money. I thought it was silly and materialistic. Because after all, its true love and the insides that matter.

As a bitter, broke, childless mid thirties woman, I regret not caring about my prospective husband's salary.

If I were to do it again I would not date anyone who made less than 300k.

As a 26 year old woman... i appreciate your honesty.

Thank you, I wish someone had told me. I was a naive hopelessly romantic who thought love was enough.
Interestingly my friends who were encouraging me to marry him, themselves only dated and married rich guys. They look at me with pity now with their SFHs and babies while I still live in an apartment and am childless.

I’m not surprised. They probably wanted less competition. Mating and dating is a competition. Life itself is a competition.

That’s the dark side is human nature. Sometimes women’s advice to another woman have ill intentions.

It’s what I call the detour friend. The friend who gives you life advice and encouragement for you to apply that’s sends your life on a detour.

A lot of people like to give life advice they would never live by. Those people are dangerous. Be careful who you call your friend.

[Anonymous]

Life is too short to waste time on perpetually low-earning men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Life is too short to waste time on perpetually low-earning men.

Lmao

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married my husband when he was making 80k and I 50k. We were deeply in love, with no family money on either side. We got married in 2014. It has now been 8 years since we married. We do not own a home. We do not have children. We almost got a divorce 2 years ago due to stress of not having enough to build a family life in NOVA.

I am stressed out and regretful about my choice most days. Yes, he was hot and nice, but that did not give us an income to build a suitable family life. I watched with envy as each of my friends married men making 200k, 400k and immediately were able to buy homes, have babies, build families and a family life.
I never cared about money. I thought it was silly and materialistic. Because after all, its true love and the insides that matter.

As a bitter, broke, childless mid thirties woman, I regret not caring about my prospective husband's salary.

If I were to do it again I would not date anyone who made less than 300k.

As a 26 year old woman... i appreciate your honesty.

+1 This post was refreshing to read because whenever this topic comes up, 95% of the responses are "golly gee I didn't care at all about money and I married my DH when we were young, broke and in love, and now he makes $500k teehee." We don't often hear from the people who married men who didn't make much money and still don't make much money. I think the lesson here is to make your own money and not rely on somebody else to hand you the lifestyle you want. Most high earning men (who also have other desirable qualities one looks for in a spouse) are off the market early, and if they're not, they rule the dating scene and have their pick of women.

Guarantee if those same women were suddenly single tomorrow, they would not be interested in serious relationship with low earning men their own age or older

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married my husband when he was making 80k and I 50k. We were deeply in love, with no family money on either side. We got married in 2014. It has now been 8 years since we married. We do not own a home. We do not have children. We almost got a divorce 2 years ago due to stress of not having enough to build a family life in NOVA.

I am stressed out and regretful about my choice most days. Yes, he was hot and nice, but that did not give us an income to build a suitable family life. I watched with envy as each of my friends married men making 200k, 400k and immediately were able to buy homes, have babies, build families and a family life.
I never cared about money. I thought it was silly and materialistic. Because after all, its true love and the insides that matter.

As a bitter, broke, childless mid thirties woman, I regret not caring about my prospective husband's salary.

If I were to do it again I would not date anyone who made less than 300k.

As a 26 year old woman... i appreciate your honesty.

+1 This post was refreshing to read because whenever this topic comes up, 95% of the responses are "golly gee I didn't care at all about money and I married my DH when we were young, broke and in love, and now he makes $500k teehee." We don't often hear from the people who married men who didn't make much money and still don't make much money. I think the lesson here is to make your own money and not rely on somebody else to hand you the lifestyle you want. Most high earning men (who also have other desirable qualities one looks for in a spouse) are off the market early, and if they're not, they rule the dating scene and have their pick of women.

How do you actually find a high earning man? Mostly am relying on apps and it’s not always obvious who is high earning.

It really depends on how old you are. The women I know who married rich men were pretty certain and determined to do so. They specifically targeted and only accepted dates from men who displayed the following:

- Background in or interest in certain careers: finance, engineering, management consulting or law. The men they accepted dates from needed to have either a career in these fields or if they were younger, in graduate school for these.
- Came from affluent backgrounds. Raised in Great Falls, McLean or wealthier parts of Fairfax
- Displayed certain class indicators: dressing in a conservative preppy fashion or its urban equivalent, living in Clarendon in an expensive condo, drove a european car, took them on multiple trips in a year, gifted them expensive jewelry for special occasions

I’ve found these men on apps but it takes time. The League is pretty good because it somewhat optimizes for you. Yes, education is 100% not a proxy for income or “smartness,” but the apps are just a numbers game. And I only have so much time in any given week to line up dates and swipe. So I do tend to swipe on men who went to Ivy League schools and seem to have jobs in the fields PP listed above and there are far more of those profiles on that particular app. Or at least it’s more concentrated- not necessarily in raw numbers.

Going to alumni events and lectures at random DC places works well, too. I met my really wonderful (high earning) bf at a politics and prose book reading, though we’ve only been dating for a few months.

[Anonymous]

I’ve only ever dated / slept with / had relationships with men who went to Ivies making at least $300k+ (eventually married one, after a lot of fun in my 20’s).

Some thoughts on finding and landing high earning / high NW men:
1. Be attractive
2. Be charming (aka smart enough to hold your own at a dinner party, speaking to a range of current events / topics)

So, worth the $$ to keep your skin and self in shape. Also, read a newspaper or skim Twitter.

Helpful steps to optimize chances of meeting:
1. Go to a top undergrad and/or grad school
2. Put yourself in situations where you’ll get exposure (see #1). Also, expensive gyms, political fundraisers, alumni events (see #1), book readings (worked for PP), on runs by the Georgetown waterfront, expensive bars and restaurants
3. Spend $$ on a matchmaker. Marriage minded rich men in their mid to late 30s don’t have time to waste on bad dates and swiping. A lot of former finance colleagues of mine went this route.

[Anonymous]

At least one standard deviation above the average. And also knowing what a "standard deviation" is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Life is too short to waste time on perpetually low-earning men.

And it is also too short to waste on vapid, materialistic women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married my husband when he was making 80k and I 50k. We were deeply in love, with no family money on either side. We got married in 2014. It has now been 8 years since we married. We do not own a home. We do not have children. We almost got a divorce 2 years ago due to stress of not having enough to build a family life in NOVA.

I am stressed out and regretful about my choice most days. Yes, he was hot and nice, but that did not give us an income to build a suitable family life. I watched with envy as each of my friends married men making 200k, 400k and immediately were able to buy homes, have babies, build families and a family life.
I never cared about money. I thought it was silly and materialistic. Because after all, its true love and the insides that matter.

As a bitter, broke, childless mid thirties woman, I regret not caring about my prospective husband's salary.

If I were to do it again I would not date anyone who made less than 300k.

As a 26 year old woman... i appreciate your honesty.

+1 This post was refreshing to read because whenever this topic comes up, 95% of the responses are "golly gee I didn't care at all about money and I married my DH when we were young, broke and in love, and now he makes $500k teehee." We don't often hear from the people who married men who didn't make much money and still don't make much money. I think the lesson here is to make your own money and not rely on somebody else to hand you the lifestyle you want. Most high earning men (who also have other desirable qualities one looks for in a spouse) are off the market early, and if they're not, they rule the dating scene and have their pick of women.

Guarantee if those same women were suddenly single tomorrow, they would not be interested in serious relationship with low earning men their own age or older

At the same time, many of the now-rich men they locked down early wouldn't give them the time of day if they'd met after they already started making money and thus had more dating options than they had as broke college/grad students with "potential."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married my husband when he was making 80k and I 50k. We were deeply in love, with no family money on either side. We got married in 2014. It has now been 8 years since we married. We do not own a home. We do not have children. We almost got a divorce 2 years ago due to stress of not having enough to build a family life in NOVA.

I am stressed out and regretful about my choice most days. Yes, he was hot and nice, but that did not give us an income to build a suitable family life. I watched with envy as each of my friends married men making 200k, 400k and immediately were able to buy homes, have babies, build families and a family life.
I never cared about money. I thought it was silly and materialistic. Because after all, its true love and the insides that matter.

As a bitter, broke, childless mid thirties woman, I regret not caring about my prospective husband's salary.

If I were to do it again I would not date anyone who made less than 300k.

As a 26 year old woman... i appreciate your honesty.

+1 This post was refreshing to read because whenever this topic comes up, 95% of the responses are "golly gee I didn't care at all about money and I married my DH when we were young, broke and in love, and now he makes $500k teehee." We don't often hear from the people who married men who didn't make much money and still don't make much money. I think the lesson here is to make your own money and not rely on somebody else to hand you the lifestyle you want. Most high earning men (who also have other desirable qualities one looks for in a spouse) are off the market early, and if they're not, they rule the dating scene and have their pick of women.

Guarantee if those same women were suddenly single tomorrow, they would not be interested in serious relationship with low earning men their own age or older

At the same time, many of the now-rich men they locked down early wouldn't give them the time of day if they'd met after they already started making money and thus had more dating options than they had as broke college/grad students with "potential."

50% of these mid age women whose husbands became high warning end up dumped and “upgraded” to younger versions. They are scared to discuss it but it’s very common. My exH in finance was cheating till it became unbearable, all when he started making over 500k. His friends all got divorced from wives #1 and are on second marriages to 20-years younger women having babies in mid 50s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married my husband when he was making 80k and I 50k. We were deeply in love, with no family money on either side. We got married in 2014. It has now been 8 years since we married. We do not own a home. We do not have children. We almost got a divorce 2 years ago due to stress of not having enough to build a family life in NOVA.

I am stressed out and regretful about my choice most days. Yes, he was hot and nice, but that did not give us an income to build a suitable family life. I watched with envy as each of my friends married men making 200k, 400k and immediately were able to buy homes, have babies, build families and a family life.
I never cared about money. I thought it was silly and materialistic. Because after all, its true love and the insides that matter.

As a bitter, broke, childless mid thirties woman, I regret not caring about my prospective husband's salary.

If I were to do it again I would not date anyone who made less than 300k.

But do you even make half as much? Why do you expect someone to do what you cannot?

I can't stand this comment. There is nothing wrong with a woman wanting a man that makes way more.

After all, its a man's world. Men make more money. Thats the way the world works.

It’s the 21st century. The way the world works is women have the opportunity to make their own damn money.

They do. And when men start expecting to get pregnant and give birth I’ll listen to this nonsense about not “expecting your partner to do what you cannot”

What is there are infertility issues? Ok for the woman to birth a few healthy, beautiful babies before the 300k man puts a ring on her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married my husband when he was making 80k and I 50k. We were deeply in love, with no family money on either side. We got married in 2014. It has now been 8 years since we married. We do not own a home. We do not have children. We almost got a divorce 2 years ago due to stress of not having enough to build a family life in NOVA.

I am stressed out and regretful about my choice most days. Yes, he was hot and nice, but that did not give us an income to build a suitable family life. I watched with envy as each of my friends married men making 200k, 400k and immediately were able to buy homes, have babies, build families and a family life.
I never cared about money. I thought it was silly and materialistic. Because after all, its true love and the insides that matter.

As a bitter, broke, childless mid thirties woman, I regret not caring about my prospective husband's salary.

If I were to do it again I would not date anyone who made less than 300k.

As a 26 year old woman... i appreciate your honesty.

+1 This post was refreshing to read because whenever this topic comes up, 95% of the responses are "golly gee I didn't care at all about money and I married my DH when we were young, broke and in love, and now he makes $500k teehee." We don't often hear from the people who married men who didn't make much money and still don't make much money. I think the lesson here is to make your own money and not rely on somebody else to hand you the lifestyle you want. Most high earning men (who also have other desirable qualities one looks for in a spouse) are off the market early, and if they're not, they rule the dating scene and have their pick of women.

Truly refreshing. I’m shocked at the women and men who never considered it - did you think life was free?! I don’t think earning potential should be the only or more important factor, but it’s shocking to me how many people discount it. (And for the record, I make good money myself so a man was never my plan.)

For the PP who asked how to meet these men - school, school, school. I’m convinced it’s why UMC folks are willing to lie, cheat, and steal to get their kids into good colleges and the grad schools. They are ensuring a strong dating pool.