What income makes a man marriage material?

[Anonymous]

200k

[Anonymous]

Marriage material is different for each woman and largely dependent on your own earning capacity. My standard was can he pay his bills and is he financially responsible. I always knew I would make enough money on my own that a man’s salary wouldn’t matter. It opened my dating world to a much larger group of men. If you know you can’t or don’t want to make money, then I guess you’d need to find someone wealthy enough to support you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married my husband when he was making 80k and I 50k. We were deeply in love, with no family money on either side. We got married in 2014. It has now been 8 years since we married. We do not own a home. We do not have children. We almost got a divorce 2 years ago due to stress of not having enough to build a family life in NOVA.

I am stressed out and regretful about my choice most days. Yes, he was hot and nice, but that did not give us an income to build a suitable family life. I watched with envy as each of my friends married men making 200k, 400k and immediately were able to buy homes, have babies, build families and a family life.
I never cared about money. I thought it was silly and materialistic. Because after all, its true love and the insides that matter.

As a bitter, broke, childless mid thirties woman, I regret not caring about my prospective husband's salary.

If I were to do it again I would not date anyone who made less than 300k.

Wow you married the same year as one of my friends and basically have the same exact decision. She’s very bitter but also has a baby now and is so angry about her husband’s lack of money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married my husband when he was making 80k and I 50k. We were deeply in love, with no family money on either side. We got married in 2014. It has now been 8 years since we married. We do not own a home. We do not have children. We almost got a divorce 2 years ago due to stress of not having enough to build a family life in NOVA.

I am stressed out and regretful about my choice most days. Yes, he was hot and nice, but that did not give us an income to build a suitable family life. I watched with envy as each of my friends married men making 200k, 400k and immediately were able to buy homes, have babies, build families and a family life.
I never cared about money. I thought it was silly and materialistic. Because after all, its true love and the insides that matter.

As a bitter, broke, childless mid thirties woman, I regret not caring about my prospective husband's salary.

If I were to do it again I would not date anyone who made less than 300k.

Wow you married the same year as one of my friends and basically have the same exact decision. She’s very bitter but also has a baby now and is so angry about her husband’s lack of money.

Ok, so you probably have HHI around 200k. Or more. If you cant afford a kid, it's because you insist on staying in an expensive area or spending money on other things. Go move to Frederick or Howard County, then you can have kids. Maybe what needs to change is you.

[Anonymous]

I knew I wanted to SAH, so he had to A - be okay with that and B- be able to afford that. We are not rich (he started at $160 and now makes low $300’s) but it works and we have a nice life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married my husband when he was making 80k and I 50k. We were deeply in love, with no family money on either side. We got married in 2014. It has now been 8 years since we married. We do not own a home. We do not have children. We almost got a divorce 2 years ago due to stress of not having enough to build a family life in NOVA.

I am stressed out and regretful about my choice most days. Yes, he was hot and nice, but that did not give us an income to build a suitable family life. I watched with envy as each of my friends married men making 200k, 400k and immediately were able to buy homes, have babies, build families and a family life.
I never cared about money. I thought it was silly and materialistic. Because after all, its true love and the insides that matter.

As a bitter, broke, childless mid thirties woman, I regret not caring about my prospective husband's salary.

If I were to do it again I would not date anyone who made less than 300k.

Wow you married the same year as one of my friends and basically have the same exact decision. She’s very bitter but also has a baby now and is so angry about her husband’s lack of money.

Ok, so you probably have HHI around 200k. Or more. If you cant afford a kid, it's because you insist on staying in an expensive area or spending money on other things. Go move to Frederick or Howard County, then you can have kids. Maybe what needs to change is you.

Actually my friend and her husband make under $150k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve only ever dated / slept with / had relationships with men who went to Ivies making at least $300k+ (eventually married one, after a lot of fun in my 20’s).

Some thoughts on finding and landing high earning / high NW men:
1. Be attractive
2. Be charming (aka smart enough to hold your own at a dinner party, speaking to a range of current events / topics)

So, worth the $$ to keep your skin and self in shape. Also, read a newspaper or skim Twitter.

Helpful steps to optimize chances of meeting:
1. Go to a top undergrad and/or grad school
2. Put yourself in situations where you’ll get exposure (see #1). Also, expensive gyms, political fundraisers, alumni events (see #1), book readings (worked for PP), on runs by the Georgetown waterfront, expensive bars and restaurants
3. Spend $$ on a matchmaker. Marriage minded rich men in their mid to late 30s don’t have time to waste on bad dates and swiping. A lot of former finance colleagues of mine went this route.

I am now in my early 30s and have been meeting these types more and more. I am currently dating a top lobbyist. I definitely will say I have developed myself over the last decade by learning how to speak well in different settings at events.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Life is too short to waste time on perpetually low-earning men.

And it is also too short to waste on vapid, materialistic women.

+1

[Anonymous]

100k in DC area in your 30s-40s. I'm 30 and make 90k, will probably make that in a couple years so it's not like I'm a gold digger.

[Anonymous]

Enough to support a SAHM unless he’s going to do 50% of cooking, cleaning, household management and childcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married my husband when he was making 80k and I 50k. We were deeply in love, with no family money on either side. We got married in 2014. It has now been 8 years since we married. We do not own a home. We do not have children. We almost got a divorce 2 years ago due to stress of not having enough to build a family life in NOVA.

I am stressed out and regretful about my choice most days. Yes, he was hot and nice, but that did not give us an income to build a suitable family life. I watched with envy as each of my friends married men making 200k, 400k and immediately were able to buy homes, have babies, build families and a family life.
I never cared about money. I thought it was silly and materialistic. Because after all, its true love and the insides that matter.

As a bitter, broke, childless mid thirties woman, I regret not caring about my prospective husband's salary.

If I were to do it again I would not date anyone who made less than 300k.

Wow you married the same year as one of my friends and basically have the same exact decision. She’s very bitter but also has a baby now and is so angry about her husband’s lack of money.

What makes her think she can actually GET a guy making 300k+ ???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married my husband when he was making 80k and I 50k. We were deeply in love, with no family money on either side. We got married in 2014. It has now been 8 years since we married. We do not own a home. We do not have children. We almost got a divorce 2 years ago due to stress of not having enough to build a family life in NOVA.

I am stressed out and regretful about my choice most days. Yes, he was hot and nice, but that did not give us an income to build a suitable family life. I watched with envy as each of my friends married men making 200k, 400k and immediately were able to buy homes, have babies, build families and a family life.
I never cared about money. I thought it was silly and materialistic. Because after all, its true love and the insides that matter.

As a bitter, broke, childless mid thirties woman, I regret not caring about my prospective husband's salary.

If I were to do it again I would not date anyone who made less than 300k.

Wow you married the same year as one of my friends and basically have the same exact decision. She’s very bitter but also has a baby now and is so angry about her husband’s lack of money.

What makes her think she can actually GET a guy making 300k+ ???

Lol I agree. I think she just is tired of being stressed about money. It's hard watching friends move on and travel and buy homes.

[Anonymous]

My Asian son just turned 33 years old and recently married. He was making 130k/year at Google at the age of 22. He lived at home for free rent/food, and invested his salary in Amazon, Google, Apple and bitcoin. When he got married, he had about 15M in the bank with a 3M house already paid off. His wife is a school teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Asian son just turned 33 years old and recently married. He was making 130k/year at Google at the age of 22. He lived at home for free rent/food, and invested his salary in Amazon, Google, Apple and bitcoin. When he got married, he had about 15M in the bank with a 3M house already paid off. His wife is a school teacher.

What does his race have to do with it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married my husband when he was making 80k and I 50k. We were deeply in love, with no family money on either side. We got married in 2014. It has now been 8 years since we married. We do not own a home. We do not have children. We almost got a divorce 2 years ago due to stress of not having enough to build a family life in NOVA.

I am stressed out and regretful about my choice most days. Yes, he was hot and nice, but that did not give us an income to build a suitable family life. I watched with envy as each of my friends married men making 200k, 400k and immediately were able to buy homes, have babies, build families and a family life.
I never cared about money. I thought it was silly and materialistic. Because after all, its true love and the insides that matter.

As a bitter, broke, childless mid thirties woman, I regret not caring about my prospective husband's salary.

If I were to do it again I would not date anyone who made less than 300k.

As a 26 year old woman... i appreciate your honesty.

+1 This post was refreshing to read because whenever this topic comes up, 95% of the responses are "golly gee I didn't care at all about money and I married my DH when we were young, broke and in love, and now he makes $500k teehee." We don't often hear from the people who married men who didn't make much money and still don't make much money. I think the lesson here is to make your own money and not rely on somebody else to hand you the lifestyle you want. Most high earning men (who also have other desirable qualities one looks for in a spouse) are off the market early, and if they're not, they rule the dating scene and have their pick of women.

The reason that scenario comes up so often is that this board is full of people in our income bracket. Lots of women in other income brackets didn’t marry for money, their husbands never earned a lot, and they somehow manage to still be happy and not bitter.